Tank Top Tuesday

You deserve some tank tops for making it to 2026. Heck, we all deserve a little treat for making it through the first year of The Orange Stain’s Administration 2.0. Let’s hope women are still allowed to show bare arms in tank tops a year from now. But the way things are going, well, better enjoy them while we can.

Katy O’Brian

The world needs more lesbian muscle mommies. And by world, I mean me.

Rhea Seehorn

I, admittedly, have not watched the lesbian alien dystopia show yet because I don’t have AppleTV+. But this tank top is making me want to figure out a way to watch anyway. A lot.

Melissa King

Cut-off denim vests fall under the Big Gay Tank Top Umbrella, duh.

Sarah Mclachlan & Katie Gavin

Two tank tops for the price of one and a pretty good Lilith Fair reboot start to boot.

Demi Moore

Look, if cut-off denim vests count, tuxedo dickies definitely count.

Lorde

The rare white tank and tightie whities combo I actually approve of.

Lena Headey

May we carry Lena’s flipping off the haters while rocking a tank top energy with us through 2026.

Gender Fuck Thursday: A Whole New Year

Welcome to 2026, here are some hot women in hot menswear because we still deserve nice things. Honestly, they should just let us have it. It looks better on us anyway. Menswear only for women in 2026. As for the men themselves, well, let’s hope a lot more of them put in the work this year. Otherwise we’ll just have to take away the rest of their things, too. Until we can figure out what’s going on. You know, like their roles as Fortune 500 CEOs and congressmen and the President of the United States of America. Just as a start. Dream big, it’s a whole new year.

Lucy Liu & Drew Barrymore

Still Charlie’s Menswear-Wearing Angels after all these years.

Demi Moore

Now if she was the solo star and they called it “Landwoman,” maybe I’d watch.

Hayley Kiyoko

Schoolboy shorts always look better on girls, always.

Jessica Chastain

Has a man ever looked this good in a suit this color? I rest my case.

Leisha Hailey & Kate Moennig

Thank goodness they never had Alice and Shane hookup on the show. I mean, Jenny was mean enough.

Renee Rapp

Is there a premium Uber Black service where you get hot lesbians as your chauffeur? Because in that case, you win capitalism, sign me up.

Michelle Yeoh

Start with a hot Asian lady in a beige suit, end with a hot Asian lady in a beige suit. Now that’s what I call some blog post feng shui.

G.I. Jonesing

Greetings, fellow patriots. Today is a day in the United States where we celebrate the brave women and men in the armed forces who gave their lives for their country. Also, it’s a day when a lot of folks barbecue. So in honor of their service, and less so about the barbecue, here is everyone’s favorite G.I. Jane working on her fitness for America. USA! USA! USA! A grateful nation salutes you.

Combat ready

Now, I’m no fan of violence, war or fighting. But I am a fan of equal rights and opportunity. So I applaud the news that broke yesterday that the military was lifting its ban on women in combat. Because being equal means just that. The opportunity to do the same work, face the same challenges, make the same sacrifices and reap the same honors as everyone else. And I also applaud it because it makes conservative nitwits like Tucker Carlson angry at feminism. Which, you know, bonus.

But me being me and all, I must celebrate this historic step in women’s rights the only way I see fit. With hot ladies in uniform, of course. Women of the military, both fictional and real, we salute you.

Dana Delany, China Beach

Just thinking about the opening theme gives me shivers.

Heather Peace, Ultimate Force

Hot Cop meet Hot Soldier

Glenn Close, Serving in Silence

Just think, movies like this won’t ever have to be made again.

Rose Rollins, The L Word

Is it weird that when DADT was lifted, I thought, “Oh, good, now Tasha will get her full benefits.”

Jessica Biel, Stealth

I never saw this movie, but the costume department deserves some sort of award.

Jordana Brewster, Annapolis

I also never saw this movie, but ditto on the costume department.

Michelle Rodriguez, Avatar

Technically she was a solider for hire, but let’s not spilt hairs.

Katee Sackhoff, Battlestar Galactica

Soldiers in futuristic militaries on distant star systems totally count.

Demi Moore, G.I. Jane

Oh, like I wasn’t going to use the one-armed pushup.

A grateful universe thanks you for your service, ladies.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Shirtless Edition

They say no shirt, no shoes, no service. But in cases like these if you’re wearing no shirt, there’s no way you’re not getting serviced. Rimshot! Hey, it can’t all be high brow. Sometimes it’s just about the exquisite pleasure of a lady wearing a nice jacket without a nice shirt. And if that lady happened to be wearing a lovely garter set underneath, like Kirsten Dunst – well, that’s some extra special service coming up right there. Extra special, indeed.

Catherine Zeta-JonesBest black-tie optional attire ever.

RihannaOne of my goals in life is to have vacations like Rihanna.

Anne HathawayPeople seem worried about whether the new Catwoman will be sexy enough. I have to say, I’m not overly worried.

Keira KnightleyI wish Keira would go back to the short hair. You don’t know how much.

Eva GreenFrench women, amirite?

Amber HeardLots of you seemed concerned about informing me that Amber is now single. Good to know, very good.

Tilda SwintonRight, like one of these would be complete without a little Swinton.

Lauren Hutton & Christy TurlingtonI find shirtlessness most fun in pairs, too.

Demi MooreWell, I never said she needed to be wearing a jacket, too.

Ask. Tell. Enjoy.

Ding dong, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is dead. The Senate voted to repeal the policy 65-31 on Saturday, finally ending the more than 230-year ban on gay and lesbians serving openly in the United States military. You’ve come a long way, soldier. Granted, the legislation (which President Clinton Obama* will sign this week) did not immediately lift the ban – the military leadership ultimately controls the timing and implementation of the new policy. But it certainly doesn’t have long left. So there you have it, history. One step close to that more perfect union. Each step matters, each step is huge. We should savor this sweet victory, for they seem to come so slowly. We should salute all those who fought so hard for this day and served so proudly even while the country they were fighting for asked them to hide who they really were. And, to be slightly more shallow, we should celebrate how many more women will now be able to look really fucking hot in uniforms.

So while we wait, let’s enjoy some of the loveliest ladies to wear the U.S. military uniform on screen. Ten-hut, indeed.

Glenn Close, “Serving in Silence”Glenn looks great in a uniform and a suit, it’s almost unfair.

Dana Delany, “China Beach”God, green is her color.

Loretta Swit, “M*A*S*H”Hot Lips is one of the best nicknames for a character, ever.

Goldie Hawn, “Private Benjamin”Still my favorite Goldie Hawn movie.

Catherine Bell, “JAG”Finally, a color other than green.

Meg Ryan, “Courage Under Fire”Remember when Meg did that serious movie about that first war in Iraq?

Kelly McGillis, “The L Word”She didn’t get to wear a uniform in “Top Gun.” To her credit, Mama Chaiken rectified that on her show.

Rose Rollins, “The L Word”Oh Tasha, how I miss that smile.

Demi Moore, “G.I. Jane.”The shaved head, the one-armed push-up. Where do I enlist?

At ease, soliders. A grateful nation thanks you for all the hotness.

*Wow, now that was an impressive typo. I love how you all assumed I meant Hillary, but alas I was actually probably thinking about Bill. I had researched DADT's creation and signing before I wrote this and had too much Bubba on the brain.