Requiem for the Mediocre White Man

Hey, did you spend last weekend watching a bunch of dudes hit other dudes? Yes, yes – I know, you were just in it for the commercials. And Lady Gaga. Still, odds are you have had your fill of overly confident dudes for the day/week/next four years. So here is one of my favorite overconfident mediocre white man takedown of all time. Oh, ladies of “Criminal Minds.” This show doesn’t deserve you. But us ladies certainly do. Poor little ass, indeed.

Stealth bomb(shells)

So last week during the TCAs one of the big “reveals” was that Sara Gilbert is gay. Of course, it wasn’t really a reveal. She’s been quietly out for years. She has a partner, they have kids, the whole nine. So it’s kind of a duh. But in another way, it’s also a reminder. Sara is one of those stars I always blank on the fact that they’re gay. She’s a stealth gay. Not that she is being stealthy about it, not in the least. But for whatever reason I always forget, at first, that she is family. There are actually quite a few celebrities that fall into that category for me. And that means I don’t write about them that often. Well, no more. I’ve taken my Ginkgo Biloba, so let’s celebrate at the stealth celesbians among us.

Sara Gilbert, The TalkI’m not sure if I’ll watch her new all-mom talk show, but I do think she is one cool mom.

Kirsten Vangsness, Criminal MindsI’m actually kind of mad at Kristen because she is going to be on both Criminal Minds and the new Criminal Minds:Suspect Behavior. Which means, because I love little punky Penelope Garcia so much, I’ll have to add yet another show to my overflowing schedule.

Jasika Nicole, FringeHer character is so cute with Walter. Seriously, they could do a whole sitcom together.

Heather MatarazzoSome think of her as the Merkin, but she’ll always be Weinerdog to me. But either way, she sure looks good with her fiancée (or is it wife now, anyone know?)

Tracy ChapmanI hear she’s been stealth dating Guinevere Turner, too. Sneaky, sneaky.

Saffron Burrows, Law & Order: Criminal IntentSpeaking of stealthy, I don’t know if she is still with Fiona Shaw, but I certainly hope so.