Shoulda, Woulda, Hedda

Right, as I was saying, who has a Prime account and wants to invite me over to watch “Hedda?” The Tessa Thompson-starring adaptation of the Henrik Ibsen about a charismatic chaos agent gender-flips the past love. See how Tessa manipulates/bullies the marvelous Nina Hoss (also Cate Blanchett’s wife in Tár) with such ease. The film has received raves, but darnit if I still don’t want to give Jeff Bezos more of my money. So, as I was saying, who wants to invite me over?

Hedda Betta

Yes, more reason to look forward to fall. But, dammit, I’m going to have to borrow someone’s Prime Video account for a couple hours. I’ve been trying to give Jeff less of my money because fuck billionaires. But now I fear my lack of access will keep me from seeing Tess Thompson yearning over Nina Hoss in Nia DaCosta’s “Hedda.” The film is billed as a “provocative, modern reimagining” of Henrik Ibsen’s classic play “Hedda Gabler” and comes out Oct. 29.

Now Nia is the director behind the truly underrated (fuck incels) “The Marvels” – which made her the highest-grossing Black female director of all time. And you of course remember Nina as Cate Blanchett’s character’s long-suffering wife in “Tár.” I don’t think I need to re-introduce Valkyrie. I have to say, that’s some mighty convincing chemistry in just a few quick seconds of screen time between Tessa and Nina. And in case you were wondering, the “provocative, modern reimagining”-part is them having been in lesbian with each other in the past, apparently (since old Henrik didn’t exactly write that into the original). All I know is, damn, that’s hot.

Thanks, universe. We needed this. We deserve this.

Queering Cate

Oh my Lesbian Jesus, it is gay! Yes, we willed Cate Blanchett in another queer role into existence, ladies. Take a bow and give yourself a hand. Because Lesbian Hands are very much enter stage – or should I say orchestra pit – when Cate takes the screen in her new, what appears to be very interesting and incredibly arty and totally fruity new film.

Cate plays the fictional first female conductor the German orchestra in Berlin. You get a lot of avant-garde very Berlin-y imagery which is confusing and stark. And then there’s Cate kissing German actress Nina Hoss. And Cate possibly making eyes at “Portrait of a Lady on Fire” actress Noémie Merlant on the cello. And lots and lots and lots of ruminations on time. Also, there’s Cate in a tuxedo. Something tells me this might all end with Cate holding a naked golden man named Oscar, too.

Following the terrible Cancel Your Gays trends we’ve experienced this year, we deserve this queer women. We deserve this.