Friday, March 09, 2007

Welcome to Spoilerdome

17 Reason Why we love to hate, hate to love the L WordOK folks, I got your L Word season-ending spoilers right here. Beware all who enter. Rough seas ahead. And by rough, I mean a Max sex scene. In all seriousness, if you do not want to be spoiled for the remainder of season 4, STOP READING NOW! I mean it. This is not a drill. The shit is going down. Right, so everyone still here has been warned. And now I’ll go over the rules. Yes, there are rules. There are always rules.

  1. If you plan to repost this information, please attribute and link. It’s only polite.
  2. Please link back instead of taking or reposting any of the photos (with ditto on the attribution/linkage). Also, I’m making the big spoiler screencaps click-to links. Otherwise, it would be too easy to casually spoil innocent bystanders.
  3. I’m going to go by character/couple instead of episode. If you want episode-specific spoilers, come back Saturdays for my Pre-L pre-caps in advance of the Sunday shows.
  4. I’d be happy to clear up any confusion on the items posted here, but if you want additional spoilers please come back Saturdays. I’ve received tons of individual requests and, while I don’t mind feeding people’s insatiable appetites for L Word minutiae, I do have other activities I need to participate in on a daily basis. Ping pong comes to mind.

And away we go, in alphabetical order:

Alice/Tasha -- All is going well (and super cute, look at them on that bike!) until Alice gives Tasha an engraved watch. The watch triggers a flashback to the death of a friend in Iraq, and Tasha storms out. Alice goes to confront her on the base, which doesn’t go well since Tasha has already been warned by her superiors to Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Have a Life. Later, Tasha shows up at Alice’s apartment and drops a bomb: she is shipping back to Iraq. They fight about her deployment - Alice says she should get out of it and Tasha says she doesn’t want to get out of it. Tasha invites Alice to her going away party, but Alice waffles. Then a surprise visit from an old friend talks her out of her stupidity (God, I’ve missed her). Alice goes to the party and she and Tasha cuddle on the beach until the sun rises. Sigh.
Helena/Catherine -- Helena descends deeper and deeper into the world of gambling (and kept womanhood) with Catherine. She decides to play the ponies, on Catherine’s tip, and loses all the money she had planned to invest in Alice’s Chart. The girls begin to question their relationship. Helena insists that it’s OK, but continues to be her gopher --her sexy gopher. Catherine agrees to host Tasha’s going away party at her beach house and later that night gives Helena an intriguing offer. She wants to wager on how long Shane and Paige will stay together. If Catherine wins, Helena must be her servant/sex slave for a year. If she loses, Helena gets a $1 million. Instead, after Catherine leaves, Helena opens the safe and takes all the cash. Show her the money, indeed.
Jenny -- Jenny and Tina finally meet the right director, Kate (Annabella Sciorra), who is hot off a successful indie film. Not to mention, just plain hot. Meanwhile, Jenny’s book “Lez Girls” is published and causes quite a stir, most notably for Bette who is - shall we say - not amused. Of course, this being Jenny, she descends into her own special spiral of crazy. In her case it involves being unable to write an intelligible script, getting herself another dog (named, yes, Sounder) and storming uninvited into a story meeting in full bitch mode. She also has some insane theory about lesbians all wanting pet monkeys as children. Any takers? She gets canned from the film and decides to take a dingy out on the water during Tasha’s farewell party. When last we see her she is adrift on the ocean. Symbolism much?
Jodi/Bette -- Bette plans a big dinner party to introduce Jodi to the gang. This being Bette, she descends into her own special spiral of crazy. In her case it involves making lists (and copies of lists), poring over seating arrangements and micromanaging the fun out of everything. During the party, she can’t stop herself from answering for Tina, translating for Jodi and attacking Kit for her drinking. Jodi confronts her and leaves. Later, Bette is also royally pissed off by Jenny’s book. Jenny’s characterization of her causes a commotion around campus. Then, Jodi is chosen to create an outdoor sculpture for an art center in New York and accepts. Bette learns about this via a memo read by Phyllis. She doesn’t attend the going away reception and by the time she decides to make up Jodi is packed and on a plane (wow, these academic types move fast…they‘re like Special-Ops). On advice from Tina (more on that below) Bette takes a chance and goes for a grand romantic gesture to win her back. She steals a large sign Jodi has always admired that reads “17 Reason Why” from an abandoned building with help from accomplices Alice and Shane. She then shows up to Jodi’s rural New York work site towing the reassembled sign behind her on a tractor. Jodi tells her not to break her heart and they kiss down on the farm.
Kit/Papi/Angus -- Kit’s downward spiral with the bottle continues. At the dinner party, Bette chides her for drinking and Kit storms out with Papi in tow. Then Kit tries on a little lesbianism for size with her new mack daddy puppy dog, but it doesn’t fit. Later at the Planet, Kit hits bottom after snorting nose candy and asks Angus for help. When last we see her, a more sober Kit is walking along the beach with Papi on one arm and Angus on the other. Talk about a bizarre love triangle.
Max/Grace -- Max goes home for his mother’s funeral with Grace at his side. Predictably, this goes badly. While he is rejected at first by his family, his father makes a sort of peace with him. But Max decides, ultimately, to not attend the burial and watches from afar. Back in LA, he finally quits his job after continued slights and backstabbing. Alas, this does not end the inane computer speak since Grace and Max keep working on the Chart. And in between tech geekery, they get it on like Donkey Kong. Grace’s acceptance of Max’s body makes him reconsider his double mastectomy.
Phyllis -- She reads Jenny’s “Lez Girls” and wants to know if it’s all true about Bev and the plumber. Then her daughter Molly arrives with Leonard to convince her she is not gay. She runs off with the divorce lawyer instead. Gee, who could that be?
Shane/Paige -- They should rename the show “Naked Time with Shane and Paige.” Shane plans a surprise birthday party for Paige at the Planet. She also thinks about settling down, buying a house and raising the kiddies in the burbs. Who is this Shane person? They struggle with how to break the relationship to Jared, Paige’s son, who isn’t too keen on mom being a big ol’ lez. During a roll in the proverbial hay, Shane imagines how their shiny, smiling life would be together. She as the buttoned-down bread winner. Paige as the happy homemaker. And Shay and Jared as their Leave it to Beaver boys. They then go to Tasha’s party very much a couple. Seriously, who is this Shane person?
Tina/Bette -- Lord, where do I start? Bette, under Jodi’s advice, invites Tina to her dinner party and she, in turn, decides to bring Kate. Oh, her and Henry end their heterosexual charade. Good riddance. The dinner goes badly, as expected. Later, Tina comforts Bette about the breakup with Jodi. They talk like exes who are still friends really talk and then share a lovely, quiet hug. Tina realizes she would like to get back together, but thinks it is too late because Bette has met her match in Jodi. Instead, she helps Bette win her back. First she Cyrano de Bergeracs an email to Jodi for Bette that admits all her micromanaging, belittling, putting people in a box ways. Then she suggests a grand romantic gesture in lieu of boring old flower. Bette, in turn, thinks Tina isn’t interested in getting back together because she is helping her get back with Jodi. She asks Tina for one more piece of advice: What to tell Jodi when she gives her the sign? Then Tibetters hear the words they’ve longed for since season 2, “I never should have let you go.” Alas, context. Context.
Tina/Kate -- Tina and Kate get some serious flirt on. Kate makes her intentions pretty clear, but Tina is reluctant though not uninterested. No kissing. No sex. A little hand-holding. A lot more ogling. I hope we see more of Kate next season cause, uh, damn.

Finally, the season finale ends with Pink’s “Dear Mr. President” playing in the background. Yes, this is a political statement. No, it’s not subtle. But, hey, it’s a damn good song. Expect much more drama to come because the L Word was officially greenlit for a season five yesterday. And I’m done. Hope you enjoyed the show.

UPDATE: A few quick points: 1) These spoilers are for the last three episodes, not just the finale. 2) Specific episode spoilers are posted in the Pre-L caps on Saturdays. 3) I have NO SPOILERS WHATSOEVER on season 5 other than that it just got approved. Production begins this summer. 4) Don’t forget to click on the highlighted links for big-time spoiler pics. And 5) Don’t be shy, leave a comment. Consider it your way of tipping your server.

44 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ya seriously who is this Shane person? Damn it. I want Carmen back in Season 5!

Anonymous said...

Can you tell me if stories will be coherent in S5?
Will actual writers be involved in the development of story lines?
Deborah A.

Heather Anne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Renee said...

Thanks so much for the great spoilers!!!! And I love this Shane person. And Bette ... ahh my Bette. I just hope that it goes well ....... Thanks again!

Moen Curly said...

Dana Dana Dana!!!!!

As my mom used to always say...a dead Dana is better than no Dana at all.

Anonymous said...

I want Shane to have this dreams with Carmen:(
BRING HER BACK!!!

Jill said...

Shane? That you? Picket fences and "Honey, I'm home!" Zuh?

Bette? Where were these grand gestures for Tina?

Ah well, I suppose at least one of the girls is happy, anyway.

Why is Alice never allowed any prolonged happiness? It boggles.

And I see a pattern with Jenny... odd-numbered seasons (1/3), she's all about the self-empowerment and getting what she wants, even-numbered seasons (2/4) are just one WTF moment after the next. I still love her though! Hopefully season 5 sees Jenny like, bring it all together. Quirky selfishness I can handle, full-on insanity... I'm a bit less enthusiastic.

Is it wrong that I find Max in a suit hot?

Gosh. Dana. How I miss seeing her every week.

Things aren't going the way I thought (hoped) they might, but I've enjoyed the season and I'm very pleased there's a season 5.

Thanks for the pics and spoilers.

TJ said...

Thank you so much for everything you provided us this season,you have truly been a life saver. How cute is the Tina and Bette hug? Thank you again Ms.Snarker

Dark Orpheus said...

Thanks for posting this. We don't get L Word where I live, so I'll have to wait for the DVDs instead.

I am curious how the Tina-Bette-Jodi triangle will work out. Right when I'm starting to root for Jodi & Bette, Tina comes out of nowhere and now I also hope Tina gets back together with Bette.

I am in Drama Hell.

Jazzee said...

Thank you so much for posting this. I think it's not as bad as what we first made it out to be. Lots of drama, a bit soapy, but geez...this is a 12 episode/season show...wish IC will just get on with it. Here's hoping for better things in Season 5.

And yeah..who is this Shane? We evolve, yes..but think she morphed into something else altogether.

Bette and Tina...I hope IC gives you a proper mature storyline next season, cos you two still have IT!

Thanks again Dorothy.

Dylan said...

Thank you so much for these great spoilers. I am glad to see that Shane and Paige are together and happy, even the rock stars need to settle down and fall in good traditional love at some point. It also seems hopeful that Shane and Shay might be reunited then, since you said "raising the boys!"... which I love the idea of. As for Tina and Bette, I can't stand Jodi, but I don't think T and B belong together either.

Jain said...

Shane's wanted a family and a partner of her own for a long time - even though, back then, she didn't fully, consciously realize it - ever since the pilot. It makes perfect sense to me that she'd be talking with Paige about getting a house. Anybody who says 'who is this Shane person?' doesn't get her and never did. I'm just hoping that IC can talk Kristanna Loken into coming back. I don't ever wanna see Carmen's manipulative, abusive bitch ass on this show ever again - Paige is the girl for Shane, hands down.

gulpie said...

yeeeeeeeeeeeeehaw!

Anonymous said...

Who's Kate?

Arista said...

You rock the the nth degree! Thanks so much for all the scoop.

Yun said...

Hey, thanks for posting these spoilers, along with screencaps and your cute and snarky comments.

As much as I hate excessive spirals of crazinesses, I'm still looking forward to seeing it with Jenny and Bette and co. anyway. Oh, and a Max sex scene. Because both he and Grace are very, very hot.

Just out of curiosity, where'd you get this info from? Are you an L Word Insider?

Anonymous said...

Love the spoiler commentary, Dorothy. Thanks! Like the sound of the coming episodes, too.

Anonymous said...

Jain, I could NOT have said it better than you. I think we all need to stage an intervention for Kristanna telling her she NEEDS, absolutely NEEDS to come back for season five!

Anonymous said...

where is carmen???

Anonymous said...

Thank you.

And yay for a season5 Tina/Kate pairing. Watched the preview and this pairing has Hot potential in droves.

Anonymous said...

i think it is complete and utter shit that they are sending tasha back to iraq!!! how awful is that for them??? they've pretty much just started out, and she has to leave again, thats horrible!

LuLu said...

Who is this Shane person?? And who is that Papi person?? I like Papi and Shane the way they were: not ever "in love", always "in lust", and always sporting a new and different arm candy.

Anonymous said...

regarding shane, thank the gauds she is experimenting with something other than sex and drugs and u- know...
being a player really does break down the soul and i am glad she found hers.
regarding tina's new maybe fuck, kate: she has already been had by tony soprano. can't get over that despite her being a babe.
helena is getting some much needed lessons on the money/sex/power triangle.
and thank you L word for outing bette as the control freak that she is. i can breathe now. gaud.

FeroMoon said...

Thank you very well for the spoilers. Just got my new online connection and Luscious told me to read the spoilers because I want to know if Bette and Tina made looooove, already.

Well, I keep the faith for the fifth saison! Love and kisses,
Fero

Anonymous said...

Spoilers are wack!:D
I hate Jo&B.
Tasha is going to die, I just know it.
Carmen and Shane belong together.
I'm anxiously awaiting her return.

Anonymous said...

It totally sucks that Tasha goes back to Iraq. Please bring her back next season in one piece. She's too good to let go!!!

slowave77 said...

YEAH DANA. I really miss her. I wish she could stay permanetly. Thanks for the update.

Anonymous said...

I have to admitt that i am a Tibette fan and think the chemistry between Laurel and Jennifer is fantastic. I can however see that it is better to have them reunite in S5 rather than at the end of S4, as we are at last starting to see Bette and Tina talk properly to each other and to start to process things. This will lead to a happier reunion, built on a good foundation and hopefully show how a long term lesbian relationship can work (we all know it can, and usually has plenty of Drama!!) no need to be bored just because there is actually a happy couple on the L Word with their gorgeous daughter!

Anonymous said...

Yay!! Dana!!

uh oh, where are the tissues...

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the fabbo spoilers - I am in the UK and have been reduced to watching Season 4 on Youtube....I'll get my fix any old how.
As for Shane - noooooo get rid of this Alien and bring back the real Shane we LOVE and CARMEN (sooo hot)
And I agree, a dead Dana is better than no Dana at all.Just.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE DANA AND ALICE DANA GIVING ADVICE?!?! THAT IS SO FREAKIN PERFECT:-)

Helena fan said...

Thanks for the spoilers! Would love to hear more as you get scoop about S5 or anything Helena related!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the spoilers.

Anne said...

Thanks for your posts. I am so laughing at Phyllis being paired with the lawyer-- that couldn't be more perfect! I think we have all heard the news that Kristanna Loken will not be around for Season 5. Nevertheless, we are truly observing the "Catharsis of Shane." I wonder who she will finally settle down with... (read: "What new character will they introduce next?") I absolutely LOVE seeing Bette all vulnerable and demonstrative with her out-of-control-loved-crazed feelings for Jodie. However, I don't think the chemistry is quite the same with Jodie as it was with Tina. Not that Bette is desperate, but I truly think that Bette is afraid to be alone. While I'm not necessarily a "Tibette" fan, something definitely seems lacking in "Jobette". I don't think we will meet Bette's destined lover until the last few episodes of Season 5 -- and it could be Tina -- or it could be someone new. Bette needs to take a little time being "OK" without someone to make love to for a while. She could become an even better friend (and lover) if she wasn't such a navel-gazer. I may sound critical, but I really love Bette. I would marry her... Can you tell that I'm a little "alpha" in taking care of her? I think that Jennifer Beals and Leisha Hailey MAKE the show! Bring on more funny quotes from Alice in Season 5!

DeeBee said...

Here's my dream for S5...Carmen comes back and Papi totally hits on her. Carmen goes for it, knowing that Shane spots her. Of course, Shane is jealous but tries to stay cool. I think Papi and Carmen would be hot together for a short time before Shane comes back for Carmen to start the healing of Sharmen.
Then Tibette regroups and are back on with the hot chemistry.
And then, Dana's lesbian cousin who, by the way, looks like Dana' identical twin, hooks up with Alice. Ok, I know, I've gone off the deep end...I can dream, right?

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for the great spoilers!!!!

Anonymous said...

Seriously, am I the only one who LOVES Tasha (and Tasha x Alice!) and is devastated to see her shipping off to Iraq already?

Is she returning next season or is she just GONE like that? Because Alice and her are just too damn cute. And Tash is just sexy.

Sam said...

Shane should be killed off! She doesn't want to marry Carmen but she wants to play moma and poppa with Paige...?
" Ya seriously who is this Shane person? Damn it. I want Carmen back in Season 5! " You're so right!


THANKS so much for the spoilers! :)

Anonymous said...

KILL JENNY!!!!!!

PLEASE!!

at least this season they embraced her craziness and we could just sit back and laugh at her. but really --- any jenny screen time is too much.

Anonymous said...

Is i wrong to think that the sex scene between Max and the intern was hot? I thought it was sooooooo hot. And I had never though anything was hot about Moira or Max. Maybe it was the intern...

Thanks for the spoilers. Can't wait for Season 5's tidbits!

Anonymous said...

I am loving Jodi and Bette. 's all I'm saying.

Anonymous said...

But Dorothy - you didn't say what you thought of how this season is wrapping up...we need your snark to get through the off season - help please.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for taking the time to do these.

Anonymous said...

DeeBee we must be having the same dream cuz I was thinking in true Soap fashion to bring Dana back as AKA a twin, long lost sister, cousin... I like the Shane, Carmen, Papi scenario. I think a Shane/Papi sex race (like Brian and that other sexy guy had in QAF) might be fun to watch too. Any spoilers yet for Season 5????