Thursday, July 09, 2009

I want pie

Good God, Mary-Louise Parker. You are just going to have to stop being this sexy. It’s ridiculous. It’s distracting. It’s ridiculously distracting. How am I expected to get any work done? How am I expected to form complete sentences? I mean, I’ve even broken one of my cardinal (though, really, I prefer bluejays) rules and post pictures of you twice in one week. But if you insist on making cherry pie in black, lacy panties and flashing your business (front and back, you spoil us with your generosity), I will be forced to post the pictures. You leave me no other choice. [NSFW, naturally, but you already looked at the first one so why stop now? And, while you’re at it, click any and all to enlarge. You can thank me later.]

Look, MLP, you’re even making me for the first (and hopefully last) time spontaneously break into Warrant lyrics. Because your cherry pie is most definitely making this grown woman cry. I am going to ignore the fact that these photos accompany a “Thank You Note to Men” you wrote for the August issue of Esquire. Men are so needy, they have to be singled out and praised like puppies (no offense, fellas). But us ladies, we know implicitly that you’re thankful for us, too. And, sweet merciful Zeus, are we ever thankful for you. The only way this could possibly get better is if you tucked us into bed, gave us a nice cup of milk and read us a bedtime story – in those panties. Oh, wait. Well, fuck, now you’ve got me quoting the Eurythmics. Sweet dreams are made of this, indeed.


26 comments:

Shannon said...

Yowsa! I'm not sure that after seeing those smoking hot photos that I can come up with anything more coherent to say, so I'll just repeat... YOWSA!

Reverend Jane Ignatowski said...

omg, she's going to look 30 until she's 80.

And why does said youthfulness on MLP look so wicked sexy while on me it is so eerily reminiscent of boy wizards? ::shakes angry fists of futility at personal genome::

Mia said...

Good God indeed

Anonymous said...

in the morning~
(O..O)

im singing.
good morning DS!
seems getting hot this place.

i feel like
politely talk yesterday,
and naked jump today. ^^
anyway like whatever.

thank you for the post.
have a great day.
indeed, love you!

Sarah in Chicago said...

*blink*

...

*sound of synapse blowing out*

*whimper*

Anonymous said...

LOL! Sarah in Chicago said it all.... That's EXACTLY how I felt.... THANK YOU

EG said...

She is absolutely delicious. Abso-fucking-lutely.

Your friend, Rusty said...

I never had much of a sweet tooth. Until now. Thanks.

Daniela said...

i want pie too xD!

Le Genie Provacateur said...

"Men are so needy, they have to be singled out and praised like puppies"

Oh my goddess tel;l me abut it. I think tha thier insecurityu styems from the anatomically ridiculous physique nature bestowed upon them.

tlsintx said...

i third Sarah in Chicago.

oh. my. lord.

AZ said...

MLP is WOW!

Here's a little pic of Cameron Diaz when you write about tatts and the girls who wear them.....so well.

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/galleries/divas_who_dominate/divas_who_dominate.html

AZ said...

Let's try that again
Cameron Diaz in V magazine

DaChickenLady said...

Saw the picture with the pie. Thought, "Oooooo. MLP. How nice. Beautiful skin."

Then, I scrolled down and saw the bottom (!) part of the picture.

I have high blood pressure and heart disease runs in my family, but oh what a way to go.

TheWeyrd1 said...

And that is why I pay $13 a month for Showtime...sigh.

Dante d'Amore said...

That sure looks tasty!

Lily Laguna said...

*THUD*

Maya said...

Thank God there is no limit to how many times this video can be played. Going on 12...

geniera said...

Thanks... a lot!

The Pants said...

She can make me pie any time she wants...GUH!

And I'll take a MLP pie...to go. Oy.

Colette Lala said...

She's absolutely stunning! Thank you for this post.

Anonymous said...

And I do thank you Ms Dorothy. Oh, how I thank thee.

la said...

Oh snarker. I want pie, too! And milk and cookies!

Sweet Jesus, Joseph and Mary, that was almost too much to handle!

perfectflaw75 said...

I want yummie in my tummy!

Now, if you excuse me while I grab a bib... I need to stop drooling...

zooey said...

I work at Marie Callender's and we never get this kind of pie making. That is just plain unfair.

Anonymous said...

It was in this moment that Amelia's jaw hit the floor... Perhaps, she thought to herself, there is a God and perhaps he created this beautiful woman to make my shitty week a little less shitty.


Srsly.
Dorothy...
You've delivered today.
I think I'm in love.