SGALGG: Pandemic Globes Edition

So, we already talked about the Jodie gay news from the Globes. But, if we’re being honest, queer women and their dogs were kind of the best part of this year’s pandemic Golden Globes. Well, that and a bicoastally separated Tina & Amy as hosts. I have to say, it’s just not the same watching celebrities suck at Zoom at home like us. But, there were still some bright spots amid the terrible sound and bad webcams. And, again, many of them were gay women.

There was Jodie and Alex and their pup Izzy.

And there was Sarah Paulson and her (and Holland Taylor’s) rescue pup Winnie.

There was Gillian Anderson in a skull-topped Dior with her pup in matching pup Dior.

Cynthia Nixon didn’t have a dog with her. But she had her wife Christine, their son Max, Manhattan D.A. candidate Tahanie Aboushi and her husband, and the Bernie Meme at their Globes party instead.

I regret to inform you that My Fake TV/Film Wife Tina Fey has discovered the evening wear line from Laura Ashley.

But all is forgiven because of her pantless tuxedo from the start of the show.

In these pandemic times, this is as close as we got to Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals. And you know what, I’ll take it.

You've Come A Long Way, Jodie

If you’ve been around Ye Olde Blogge for any length of time you’ll know Jodie Foster has always been a favorite of mine. She was, after all, my very first My Weekend Crush. I believe her to be one of my very first real-world crushes too, definitely the first after I realized and accepted that these crushes were that kind of crushes. But then Jodie has always been a major dyke magnet. So many queer girls have seen something in her that we saw – or wanted to see – in ourselves. The tough tomboy. The smartest student in the room. Beautiful but different. Glamorous, but with grit. She set off our gaydar before some of us even knew it was gaydar.

To anyone who has closely followed the arc of Jodie’s career, her Golden Globes moment this past weekend – where she casually accepting a surprise Best Supporting Actress trophy while lounging in pajamas with her wife Alexandra Hedison and their dog Izzy (in a matching bandana to Jodie’s PJs) at home – was extraordinary in its ordinariness. Over the years Jodie has maintained a fierce, almost fanatical, protection of her privacy. I mean, you can’t blame her. She’s been famous since she could walk, pretty much. But one can’t help but realize the convenience of demanding total privacy while also staying firmly closeted.

In those early days, back with her first and at the time unacknowledged publicly partner Cydney Bernard, any cloaked mention of her personal life was major. Like when her sons sorta-kind out them as a couple. Like her calling her longtime partner “my beautiful Cydney” in a public speech where other people could hear. Like when Parade magazine, of all places, acknowledging she was quite probably The Gay. And then, finally in 2013, when she came out at the Golden Globes while swearing this wasn’t her coming out because she had come out “a thousand years ago, back in the stone age.” And then a year later she married Alexandra, a.k.a. Ellen’s ex/Dylan from TLW.

And, now seven years later, they’re just like any other couple of bored lesbians attending a Zoom cocktail hour in their PJs while cuddling their dog amid a global pandemic. Granted, bored lesbians who wear Prada pajamas. But still, to watch Jodie’s genuine surprise and joy as won and then reached over to grab Alexandra’s face and kiss her without hesitation on a live video call broadcast to the entire world – well, who says people can’t change? Who says what our lives will end up looking like once we truly embrace ourselves, or how great they might be once we get there.

You’ve come a long way, Jodie. Truly, we all have.

p.s. Expect more Golden Globe talk tomorrow, with as SGLAGG as we can get during an ongoing global pandemic.

Music Monday: Tiny House Edition

Miley Cyrus singing Mazzy Star? Yes, pleases and thank yous. I’ve always been a sucker for Hope Sandoval’s haunting vocals, the beautiful ennui of it all. Through the pandemic I’ll happily admit I’ve been enjoying Miley’s rock covers. So why not settle back for Miley’s mini Tiny Desk/Little Pink Houses concert to start this week and month off right. Yeah, I know, somehow it’s March again. Happy Monday, kittens.

p.s. But, really, was it ever not March this past year?

My Weekend Crush

Audre Lorde was the first lesbian scholar whose work I fell in love with as I was coming out and understanding my own sexuality. I would check her books out of the city library, which was diverse and expansive thanks to living in a liberal Midwestern college town. And I would absolutely devour them. Poet. Writer. Scholar. Feminist. Civil Rights Activist. Librarian. Black. Lesbian. Warrior. Her words on intersectionality are as fresh, true and needed today as they were when this essay was first published in 1983. May we continue to learn from our great queer elders, and never take their hard-fought battles and essential wisdom for granted. Happy weekend, all.

The Way Kathryn Hahn Looks At...

If you’re like our household, you’ve been unexpectedly enjoying the heck out of “WandaVision” on Disney+. I honestly hadn’t really expected much out of the superhero show. I thought it’s show-within-a-period-show gimmick was probably just going to be that, a gimmick. But from its meticulous eye for detail when it comes to classic American sitcoms tropes through history to its unexpectedly dark underpinnings (like, no spoilers, but the whole premise for the show is pretty traumatic if you think about it), it has entertained at every turn.

Also, if you’re again like our household, one of the not entirely unexpected things you’ve enjoyed the heck out of about “WandaVision” is Kathryn Hahn’s portrayal of Wanda and Vision’s faithful next-door neighbor Agnes. Now I say not entirely unexpected because whether you realize it or not, you’ve likely thought Kathryn excellent in everything you’ve seen her in before. “Parks & Recreation?” Great! “Transparent?” Wonderful! “Girls?” Oh, man, that was her in “Girls!”

[Spoilers if you haven’t watched the latest episode]

Knowing that Kathryn’s Agnes/Agatha has been the real one behind the weirdness in Westview (well, besides the inherently weird/immoral/truly dark erasing of an entire town’s free will as a monstrous act of unresolved grief). But I relish the idea of Kathryn given a wickedly juicy role to play.

[End Spoilers]

And it’s another good reason to bring back this glorious Kathryn Hahn is smitten with Rachel Weisz clip. I can only hope her most recent work will bring another round of well-deserved critical acclaim which will then bring more well-deserved award consideration which would then result in her being placed on roundtables with other well-deserving actresses so we can recreate this moment. The way Kathryn is adoringly gazing at Rachel is the epitome of the “Get someone who looks at you the way... *blank* … looks at … *blank*” meme. It’s certainly the way any self-respecting queer woman would look at Rachel Weisz. Like either Kathryn is that great of an actress or that smitten with Rachel or both. The evidence speaks for itself.

Whip Wednesday: Me-Oww Edition

In case you’d for some reason forgotten, Michelle Pfeiffer is a badass. A hot, talented, ageless badass. Those cheekbones you could slice ham with. The impossible arch of her eyebrows. And, you know, that cat suit left an impression. So it’s more than a little impressive to see this behind-the-scenes footage of her wielding that whip. Like, is it possible to be jealous of a decapitated mannequin? Asking for a friend. The clip also highlights how truly skilled Michelle was with that whip. Like, Me-Owww in deed. I think the behind-the-scenes shots are even more impressive than what ended up on the big screen even. But, then, it doesn’t hurt to have to rewatch that scene either. You know, for science. Sexy, sexy science.

Movie Review: I Care A Lot

So, what to make of “I Care A Lot?” What indeed. I wasn’t sure who to root for from the trailer. And honestly I still wasn’t sure who to root for after watching the movie. Like on the one side there’s the woman whose entire business model it is to kidnap senior citizens, strip them of their autonomy, destroy their free will, drain their bank accounts and leave them to rot in old people homes and on the other side there’s a mafia drug kingpin. But at least the woman is gay and has a hot haircut?

The best thing about “I Care A Lot” is, obviously Rosamund Pike. Don’t get me wrong, her chain-vaping, grandma-bilking, razor-sharp bob wearing character is a true movie monster. But, no one said monster movies couldn’t be fun. And for a while, “I Care A Lot” is pretty fun. Once you realize there is essentially no one to truly root for, you give up on the moral underpinnings and just settle in to embrace the twisty-turny caper nature of it all.

As for the gay stuff, obviously I appreciate the representation. Though while my guess is the filmmakers were going for more of a “Bound” kind of queer lady couple, I fear it veered a little too close for comfort to the “Basic Instinct” kind of queer lady couple instead. Sexy. Immoral. And, um another plot point we shall discuss later. I thought Rosamund’s Marla and Eiza González’s Fran are a perfectly passable as a couple, and I appreciate their physicality. But, they haven’t drawn in the details of their characters much past hot, felonious and unremorseful grifters who are hot together.

The first two-third of the movie are probably as fun and relatively light as the depiction of a horrifying elder abuse scam can be. But then, just when you think the movie might pull the trigger and end in the only truly radically way a movie about truly unethical people can end, it veered toward an unsatisfactory semi-morality tale after all.

[Spoilers if you haven’t watched the latest episode]

Now back to that other plot point that remained unmentioned. Yes, the dreaded Dead Lesbian Trope. Yeah, they really went there and Buried Their Gay. I know the film was going for the irony of it all. But it means something that the only character the filmakers chose to receive the ultimate punishment (well, beside those countless, nameless old folks) was the lead female character who also happened to be queer. And, um, things also went pretty poorly for the presumably straight female doctor. Do I sense a trend? The narrative choices here are cruel and umconfortable.

[End Spoilers]

In the end, if you can pause your empathy for two hours and look at is as just a crime caper about bad guys where you appreciate the game and not the outcome, it’s OK. And, again, there are some wicked and wickedly entertaining bits, to be sure. But if you turn your humanity back on and pay close attention, it’s got a nastiness underneath that keeps it from being totally wicked fun.

Music Monday: Janelle Redux

It’s been just over a month since our four-year national nightmare ended. Granted, plenty of nightmares left to fix in America. So many, in fact. But we shouldn’t forget to rejoice in what so many helped to accomplish. So sit back and give some love to Janelle Monae and forever crush Stacey Abrams, who along with the tireless work of activists and organizers turned Georgia blue and helped save democracy. Janelle recorded this version of her “Turntables” for the documentary “All In: The Fight for Democracy,” about Abrams and the campaign against rampant and ongoing voter suppression in the United States. No, the fight isn’t close to over. Republicans have already introduced more than 100 bills in state legislatures to make it even harder to vote. Because, as we all know, that’s the only way they win. But we will keep fighting them, and we will keep trying to make this country a more fair place for everyone. Now that’s something to always celebrate.

My Weekend Crush

Yeah, I’ll say it loud and say it proud, I like the new Batwoman. A lot. Javicia Leslie is, in my humble opinion, killing it as the new lady-loving-lady caped crusader. Dare I say that I *whispers in lesbian* like her more than Ruby Rose’s Batwoman? Yes, I dare say it. Plus, I’m always going to root for the scrappy street fighter over the billionaire playgirl cousin.

I think what I like best about this unexpected reboot of the series is how much more earned this Batwoman feels. I truly don’t have anything against Ruby Rose, and think she should be commended for blazing a trail as the first out actress to star in a show about the first queer female superhero to lead her own self-titled TV show. Ruby certainly looked the part. But her Batwoman relied on stoic heroism as a primary personality, which always makes for a dull superhero. (Yes, I know, that’s Superman/Supergirl’s whole thing, but they’re also earnest space aliens and kind of the O.G.s of the whole stoic heroism thing - so they get a pass).

But Javicia, she has personality to spare. It shows through the cowl, and it livens up the show considerably. She brings needed humor and humanity to the role, and a scrappiness which is honestly just fun to watch. I also have hope that this new Batwoman can be a better foil for an old villain. Through no fault of Rachel Skarsten (Tamsin 4Eva!), the sister-against-sister chemistry between her Alice and Ruby’s Kate never truly gelled. Now her Alice can get her bad on without the overbearing familial drama. The whole, “Can Kate kill her own sister?” plotline was, well, not my fav. So here’s to new, fun plotlines that better straddle the show’s semi-serious, semi-camp aesthetic.

I can’t wait for our new Batwoman to fully find her feet - and perhaps a lady friend or two. All I know right now is each time I see Javicia get her Bat on, I’ve liked her more and more. Fire up the Lesbian Bat Signal, we’ve got a show to watch.

p.s. Oh, and love the new wig. Love.

It Gets Better(ish)

So, yeah, it’s been 10 years. And, arguably, shit has gotten a lot better. I mean, lots of shit is still bad. But, yeah, progress had been made. I think what makes this skit work (besides SNL finally having enough out cast members to allow it to work) is how extraordinary and ordinary the act of coming out and living out as queer people actually is. Like, yeah, we came out. But we still have joint income taxes and divorces and all the problems previously reserved only for straight people. Like, yeah, our whole days aren’t spent marinating in what it means to be gay. Sometimes, we’re worried about the family iguana eating our face while we sleep.

Though, in all seriousness, since the It Gets Better project launched in late 2010, we have made significant, steady strides toward equality. Is it long overdue? Obviously. Did the last four years set us back? Definitely. But this is real, actual progress: same-sex marriage legalized (2015), workplace discrimination against LGBTQ people criminalized (2020, when RBG was still with us) and now for the first time HUD has barred housing discrimination for LGBTQ people (2021). That means we can find a place to live, find a place to work and find someone to marry freely (well, theoretically freely, bigots will continue to bigot) in America finally. And I have to believe the Equality Act will finally become a reality under Biden. It must.

So, yeah, it gets better. Now, you know, if the rest of the world would get better that’d be a big help.

Never Have I Ever

I’m of two minds about “The Nevers.” One mind is all, oooh, another female empowerment/superhero story – but this time old-timey. And the other mind is all, eeeh, another female empowerment/superhero story – but this time from Joss Whedon. Yeah, that hits different now. A lot different.

But before all that, let me back up. The new series for HBO Max was created by Joss in 2018, but in 2020 he stepped away citing, I dunno, a challenging year and the pandemic and shit. Anyway he was replaced by female showrunner Philippa Goslett (whose other credits include “Mary Magdalene” and “How to Talk to Girls at Parties”) and the project proceeded without him.

The series is another in a long line of mutant persecution dramas (see: “X-Men,” “The Umbrella Academy,” et al) because persecuting people for their differences never seems to get old for society on screen or in real life. The twist, if you will, on this familiar story is that the mutants in question live in Victorian England and are mostly all women. Yes, I know, sorta like old-timey Buffy with more ability to throw fire and whatnot.

Since Joss dropped out of the project, HBO Max has wasted no time disappearing all mention of him. You’d never know he was involved from the trailer – which, honestly, is for the best. I have absolutely no idea whether this series will be any good in the end. But let’s hope it does more than performative smashing of the patriarchy.

ETA: For those who aren't regular readers, I already addressed Joss's great failings last week. Regular readers will also note I always put pertinents archival posts in links within post. So, you know, click the links.

Movie Review: Nomadland

This year’s Oscars are getting a late start, thanks to the ongoing pandemic and everything. So when the nominations finally do get announced, a month from now, I certainly hope to see Chloé Zhao’s beautifully meditative “Nomadland” in the mix. It’s one of those movies that quietly stays with you long after the credits roll.

Based on the non-fiction book of the same name that chronicles the people whose lives were changed forever by the Great Recession, the film is a love song to American freedom. No, not that bullshit “freedom” those assholes flying yellow “Don’t Tread on Me”-flags or waving weapons of war from their front lawns espouse. But true freedom, what it means to live unshackled by the expectations of polite (and not-so-polite) capitalist America.

This is the kind of living free that comes from not needing to keep up with the Jones, or pretend a house is the only home. When your only desire is to experience the vast majesty of America. In some ways, I envy the nomads. How liberating it must feel to pick up and take off and just go. But in other ways it absolutely terrifies me.

Zhao wrote, directed, edited and produced the film, along with fellow producer and star Frances McDormand. They also cast some of the real-life nomads from the book in the film, who lend authenticity to the project.

The film makes me even more excited to see what Zhao can do with her big-budget, big-name debut at the helm of Marvel’s “The Eternals,” starring Angelina Jolie and a host of others. But while that movie will no doubt be a big, bombastic blockbuster, “Nomadland” is the exact opposite.

Indeed, some of my favorite scenes revel in the stark beauty of the American West. I always laugh at those small-minded enough to complain about immigrants coming to America. The “Fuck Off, We’re Full” sentiment has no semblence in reality if you’ve ever driven across this country. You can go miles and miles and so many miles without seeing someone. And it’s wonderful.

Zhao and MCDormand have captured that glorious emptiness, and remind us that being alone and being lonely aren’t always the same thing.

Music Monday

Remember concerts? In small rooms? Packed with people? And together you all experienced something special in that moment? You were all moved by someone’s talent, someone’s art, someone’s joy. Yeah, so I miss that. And, in case you’d forgotten, please let the incomparable Nina Simone remind you. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush(ing Loss)

Well, shit. Seriously, shit. Also fuck. And dammit, and fuck and dammit and shit some more. SyFy’s announcement late last week that Season 4 the last for our beloved “Wynonna Earp” is sad news indeed. I don’t know if there’s any possibilities for life elsewhere. (Hello, Hulu and the 30,000 other new streaming apps, would you like a show with a built-in and undyingly loyal fanbase that will fight like hell for its family? Just saying.) But even if this is really truly the end, our sadness should be tinged with pride. The series will always stand as a reminder to love what you love, in more ways than one. WayHaught’s love story is what happens when two adorable, and piping hot cinnamon rolls get together. And Earpers have been among the nicest, fiercest, bravest fandoms I’ve encountered. You put you love and work and even dollars into this show. And the show, and its creators (in particular Mother Unicorn Emily Andras), loved you right back. What a fun, crazy, unexpected, wild and joyous ride. No matter what, we’ll always have Purgatory. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. Come on, How fun does that look? So fun? Who wouldn’t want another season of that? COME. ON. Sigh.

Ready to Be Strong

Dammit, Joss Whedon. Dammit. Look, I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer and own all of the seasons and might have an action figure or two (plus Kitty Fantastico) in my possession. But I simply cannot support Joss and his abusive behavior. Not anymore. Not after so many have so credibly come forward to call out his harassment and all-around toxicity. Charisma Carpenter came forward yesterday with her story, and I believe her.

And I believe Amber Benson. And I believe Michelle Trachtenberg. And I believe Clare Kramer. And I believe Sarah Michelle Gellar, because *low whistle* you can feel it when Buffy says no longer wants her name associated with Joss. And, yeah, I believe Ray Fisher.

In a way, it’s good when we get challenged by problematic favs, or in this case former favs. As we grow up and older, our priorities change. And hopefully – if we’ve been any good at living at all – we’ve become better people along the way. May the years and the wisdom they can impart make us all more compassionate, more understanding, more generous. So it would only follow that our heroes, the people we idolize, also change. If we’re lucky, we’ve chosen worthy ones. But, alas, all too often through the lenses of time and truth, they disappoint terribly.

That Joss, long hailed as a singular genius, turned out to be just another asshole guy who is horrible to those around him is one of those hard lessons, but hopefully one that finally sticks. We probably should stop being surprised when dudes who heavily tout themselves as feminist champions turn out to be nothing more than garden-variety misogynists. If he calls himself a woke bae, ladies, he likely ain’t woke or a bae. You gotta wish for a special place in the Hellmouth for men like Joss who write female empowerment stories but treat the real women (and POC) like garbage.

It’s always hard to divorce the art from the artist. But, at least with television, it’s never just one person. Joss isn’t Buffy alone. That would negate all the talent and passion and hard work from the cast, not to mention the show’s stable of mostly wonderful writers and other producers, and the countless other people who make the magic happen in this business we call show.

So I can keep loving Buffy, at least the idea of Buffy, and stop supporting Joss. Though I guess he had one thing right. Yeah, women are ready to be strong. So you’d better look out, shitty men everywhere.

p.s. Joss will always be the man who killed Tara. The Kitten Board never forgets.

I Really Do Care, Do You?

I did not expect “Sexy Queer Lady Grifters” to become my new favorite genre. But after watching (and rewatching — suits, suits for dayyyyys) “A Simple Favor,” I now very much hope “I Care A Lot” will fall into that same twisty, turny, turn-on of a niche category. You can be forgiven for not realizing Rosamund Pike’s elderly bilking, chain-vaping, genital-threatening Marla Grayson is a lesbian from the trailer. But, indeed, Pike and her razor-sharp bob (which is Hollywood’s easiest, most stereotypical shorthand for Stone Cold Bitch) is in a romantic relationship with her champagne toasting business partner, played in blink-and-you’ll-miss-them moments in the preview by Eiza González. I honestly don’t know who to root for, Rosamund or Dianne Wiest, and I guess that’s part of the fun. Or maybe we just root against them all and watch the mayhem ensure. Either way, I love a good Sexy Queer Lady Grifter — as long as she’s not grifting me. Ahem.

Those Gals Got Moxie

You ever watch a movie and think, “Wow, someone’s been reading my old diaries?” Well, if you’re a product of the 90s like me, you sure will when you watch the new trailer for “Moxie.” Directed by and starring eternal Cool Mom Amy Poehler, the film appears ripped from so many of our adolescent years spent endlessly reading Sassy magazine in our bedrooms. I have high hopes for this to be a more diverse and multicultural follow-up to “Mean Girls.” Because, damn, do we need it. Remember zines? I sure do. Remember Riot Grrrls? I sure do, and I still wear Docs. Well then let’s all get back to smashing the patriarchy like the good old-and-new days. Because what else are you gonna do? Nothing? Yeah, didn’t think so.

Music Monday: Always Working It

Look, Dolly Parton can do no wrong. Whether she’s helping get us out of this endless pandemic (I call the Moderna vaccine The Dolly and you can’t stop me) or turning down that Trump medal (TWICE!) or waiting to get her vaccination because she doesn’t want to jump the line (but seriously, Dolly, get your jab), she’s what I think can universally be considered a Good Egg. So, to be clear, she can do whatever the hell she wants with whatever the heck she wants, including her iconic working woman’s anthem “9 to 5.” I don’t begrudge her getting beaucoup upon beaucoup de bucks to use that song for a Super Bowl ad. She’s proven herself to be the real deal when it comes to her charities and philanthropy, so I have no doubt she’ll put it to righteous use.

I just wish the company, and its message, were worthy of her reworking perfection. Again, I don’t blame Dolly, but Squarespace’s “5 to 9” ad is the antithesis of a working person’s anthem. It’s buying into the capitalist brainwashing that says only through hard, relentless and indeed - as the song suggests - endless work can we achieve greater rewards. Let me be clear, hard work doesn’t always mean more rewards. All too often, the hard work of the masses only benefits the rarified few. There’s a reason billionaires gained $3.9 trillion during the pandemic while workers lost $3.7 trillion during the pandemic. We shouldn’t have to work 9 to 5, and then form 5 to 9 again to have a good life. Sure, follow your passions and do what makes you happy. But we shouldn’t have to keep working, working, working to be happy. We need work that makes us happy, and a society that values our work and our lives.

But, as I was saying, that’s not Dolly’s fault. So I think I’ll just press play on the original, with a little help from some kickass female friends to start this week off right instead. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Evan Rachel Wood is brave and strong and powerful. By naming her abuser this week, she called out more than just Marilyn Manson but the entire culture that bolsters bad men and seeks to silence brave women. Still here’s the thing, she shouldn’t have to be so brave. Instead we should do a better job as a society of holding men who abuse women (or men, or fucking anybody) accountable. But we just don’t. The sad truth is too many men (and some women) believe you shouldn’t ruin a man’s career because of a woman’s accusation.

Believe women is more than a slogan. It’s a reminder that all too often our culture simply doesn’t believe women precisely because they’re women.

Why else would 26 credible accustations of sexual assault and harassment be a nearly forgotten footnote to the Trump presidency? Imagine, if you will, that 26 men had credibly accused Donald Trump of sexual assault/harassment. Or if 26 men had credibly accused any prominent female politician of sexual assault/harassment. Oh, how different the predominant news narrative would be. But here we are, once again, simply asking people to believe us when we tell them what we have experienced and not to dismiss us offhand simply for being women. It’s more than tiring. It’s enraging. And Evan Rachel Woods of the world shouldn’t have to be so brave. But I’m just thankful that they are. Happy weekend, all.

But, Really, What Still Works?

Admittedly, I did not watch the first new “Saturday Night Live” of the Biden-Harris era live on Saturday night. I’m pretty sure I was in bed already, because that’s what I do now on Saturday nights. I go to bed early because of the crushing exhaustion of the world ad because I am an Old. But, I caught the cold open skit afterward because, well, Rachel Maddow said I should and in general life would probably be better if more people did what Rachel Maddow said.

Anyway, that’s a long introduction for a skit that I consider a perfect bookend to the Trump era. In fact, it is among an unholy trinity of SNL skits that I think typify the Terrible Trumps (what I’m going to call the Trump years from here on out - since there was so much Trump and so many Trumps and ever last one - besides Mary - is a singularly terrible excuse for a human being). Now, SNL hasn’t really set the national tone on anything in awhile. The show too often limps by as a totem to missed opportunities and disappointment. And it can fuck right off with those trans jokes, not to mention using dudes kissing as a punchline. But I digress.

The One & Only Kate McKinnon kicked off this Trump trilogy of skits with her too-often maligned singing of “Hallelujah” in character as Hillary Clinton as a cold open right after the 2016 election. After the four years we’ve had, let me tell you, that moment of stupefied grace before the horrors really started mattered.

Then, six months later, the next skit to truly capture the Terrible Trumps was the “Nothing Matters” skit. Indeed Trump broke every norm, every convention, every tradition, every rule, every precedent, and replaced it with policy whose only point was cruelty, and orders designed only to glorify himself. Look, I’m no Michael Che fan (see: years of Hillary bashing and, yes, those trans punchlines). But his Lester Holt really summed up the entire media’s approach to covering Trump. Nothing matters, absolutely nothing matters, so just follow the circus instead because it’s great for our ratings.

And now, finally, we have what I hope will be the last of the Terrible Trumps skits. We’ve come full, albeit deeply broken, circle from “Lord Help Us” to “Nothing Matters” to “What Still Works.” We, like Kate McKinnon, have just been slowly losing our minds together. Stay strong or weak, kittens. Just stay, and make things better.

Lady Sings the American Blues

While we’re talking about righteous justice, here’s something else we can very much look forward to. We’re slowly working our way through some long-deserved biopics about the great women (who also happened to love other women) of the blues and soul. Dee Rees’s “Bessie” in 2015. “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom” in 2020. And now “The United States vs. Billie Holiday.” The film chronicles the iconic singer’s long persecution by the American government (which, yeah, we’ve never been great). I can’t wait to see Andra Day as Billie Holiday with Natasha Lyonne as film star Tallulah Bankhead, obviously. Let’s hope the film does these great women justice.

Make My Day Equal

I don’t know about you, but I could use a little righteous vengeance. So much misery, suffering and pain has been purposefully inflicted these past four years that payback sounds pretty good. But more than mere revenge, accountability and fairness is what our world needs right now. And if that accountability and fairness comes in the form of bad-ass, heavy hitter ike Queen Latifah, well, who could say no to that? So I’m definitely going to give this gender-switched “The Equalizer” a shot. Who says the good gals can’t throw a punch?

Many Bridges, None Too Far

Am I the only one slightly confused by the existence of both Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Phoebe Bridgers? Or, very possibly, I’m just old. Anyway, the two-named Phoebe with a bridge, not to be confused with the three-name Phoebe with a bridge (who, to make things more confusing, actually directed one of the two-named Phoebe’s music videos - but not today’s video), appears to be this era’s darling indie singer of sensitive songs. Which works for me because the bisexual singer-songwriter is quite good at making moody songs sabout the end of the world sound haunting and lovely and cathartic all at the same time. Plus, whoever that lady is at the end sure lucked out. And, you know, the other way around too. Get it, ladies. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Hey, look, a theme! That theme is, “Is ________ gay?” Yesterday it was Brie Larson. Today it’s Barbie. Yes, that Barbie. In a nod to inclusivity a few years ago, the Instagram feed for the iconic doll with impossible body standards posted a picture of Barbie with a female “friend” and/or “roommate” sitting on a bed wearing matching “Love Wins” shirts with a little dog between them. For whatever reason the image resurfaced recently, and The Interwebs had a lot of fun with Sapphic Barbie. And Barbie’s real-life “girlfriend” model Aimee Song also revealed herself, which is fun.

Mattel has not confirmed that Barbie is indeed gay and has dumped dumb old Ken. The old post was likely just a corporate show of allyship, which is fine. But I just love when The Internet just runs with something silly because it’s reminder of what The Series of Tubes can be instead of a hellhole of misinformation, hate and trolling.

As further proof of Barbie’s queerness, The Internet found this definitive piece of evidence.

why are people surprised that barbie is gay as if this scene doesn't exist pic.twitter.com/t3XqPkXaqJ

— boobs (@Iebsianism) January 12, 2021

The Queer Women rest their case, your honor. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Gay Googles Edition

Things you should know about Brie Larson. 1) She plays a superhero with a wife and child back on Earth, allegedly. 2) She looks great in a gray pin-stripe suit - like, so great. And 3) Ten-year-old Brie would have spent her recess in the library Googling “How do you know if you’re gay?” Wait, she’d Google what now?

Oh, right, there’s a 4) which is she has her own Youtube channel and last week she used it to post a video of her taking online quizzes. And one of those online quizzes asked her: “You're 10 years old, how do you spend an hour of recess?”

Of course, this sent Queer Twitter into a tizzy. I think we should probably, maybe not read too much into it. Like, maybe she just really liked school libraries as a kid. But, regardless, this is the kind of hard-hitting news and in-depth investigative reporting I hope to enjoy for the next four years.

What a World

A new administration, a new lesbian period piece. See, 2021 isn’t so bad after all. (You know, minus the coup and corruption and 74 million crazy people who keep demanding four more years of all that horror.) So, the teaser scene for ‘The World to Come” was released last fall. And now the full trailer is here filled with women in sweeping frocks on the frontier. I will say, with some caveats, that it looks pretty good. You can already feel the chemistry between Vanessa Kirby and Katherine Waterston as Tally and Abigail. I’m not wild about the whole hog butchering stuff (please let that be a short, short scene) and I’m especially not wild about Casey “serial sexual harasser” Affleck in the cast.

And, of again, what’s up with all the lesbian period pieces? You know queer women exist in present day, right? It’s clearly not that lesbian period pieces are bad in and of themselves. Most of them have been quite good. But it just odd that for the past several years we’re getting at least one if not several films featuring historical romance. I mean, maybe it’s the “Carol” effect on steroids. Or maybe they think old-timey lesbians are a safer bet at the box office.

What makes this trend somewhat problematic as well is the tendency for them to center white stories. The vast majority of the recent spate of films have almost exclusively white casts from “The Favourite,” “Portrait of a Woman on Fire,” “Wild Nights with Emily,” “Vita & Virginia,” “Tell It to the Bees,” “Ammonite,” and yes, even our beloved “Carol.”

Yes, there have been some quality exceptions including “The Handmaiden,” “Bessie,” and last year’s “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom” - but, honestly, the latter was structured in a way where Ma was more of a foundational background character and her band took center stage. I’m also excited to finally see “Summerland.” And, since we’re being honest, the contemporary lesbian movies that have been released also featured mostly white casts (hello, “Happiest Season”).

Now, obviously, I’m going to see “The World to Come” movie because it’s about women in love and there’s kissing and such. But, again, I am begging filmmakers to consider the full spectrum of queer women’s experience both through time and in the diversity of our population. Also, I swear they’d better not kill one or both of these women off. Because it’s been a long four years and I need a happily ever after.

When Women Rise

Look, we just lived through four years of Trump. So forgive me if I think an entire week’s worth of celebration is warranted at the End of Trump, Beginning of President Biden/Vice President Kamala Harris. It still doesn’t feel real, truly. It hasn’t really sunk in yet that we don’t need to wake up every day wondering what horrors one manifestly unfit man and all his Republican enablers will unleash on us.

Because of that seismic relief we all feel (like, Donald fucking Trump really had control of our entire nuclear arsenal for four years, guys), the history and importance of our new administration got a little overshadowed. But it matters that women, girls, Black Americans and South-Asian Americans can now see themselves reflected in the vice presidency for the first time in our nation’s 245-year history. And if you don’t think it matters, well you’ve never watched someone see their horizons broaden before their eyes as they see themselves represented for the first time. It’s beautiful, and it codifies the simple truth that representation matters. May we continue to break barriers and glass ceiling and make America represent all its people equally.

Music Monday: Firework Edition

Granted, I’ve had issues with Katy Perry in the past-past because “I Kissed a Girl” remains an endlessly dumb if also endlessly catchy song. But, you can’t deny the over-the-top spectacle of her singing “Firework” set against the backdrop of actual fireworks amid the solemn monuments of our nation’s capital. Like, dang, that was a show. And because I’m still basking in the afterglow, here’s another look. Happy Monday, kittens. Yeah, Joe Biden really is president.

My Weekend Crush

Yes, everyone is talking about National Youth Poet Laureate Amanda Gorman’s inaugural poem, “The Hill We Climb.” The 22-year-old poetry phenom is getting a lot of praise, and rightfully so. Her words were so clear, so powerful, so right. I’ve listed in full three times now, and I think it captures this perilous moment, and feather-light and feather-fragile hope we feel. The determination to do better. But, you don’t need to hear my words. Just listen to hers. Happy first weekend in Joe Biden and Kamala Harris’s America, all.

A New America

We did it, Joe. We did it. The Age of Trump is over, finally. Today is the first morning in four years we, as Americans, can wake up without the looming dread of whatever fresh hell one morally corrupt man could unleash on us and the world. He is not president anymore. May he never be allowed to hold public office ever again, and may his monstrous failure follow him the rest of his days.

And now, we turn our attention to the work ahead. Even the most rosy-eyed Biden supporter wouldn’t say everything is fine now. We have so much work to do, clearly. But I do believe President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris are willing to put in that work.

But yesterday wasn’t about that. (Even though President Biden signed 17 executive orders that started us on the absolute right path.) Yesterday was about removing the orange stain that has been on our country, and rejoicing that people who actually care about the American people are back in charge.

Through these long, horrible four years the act of joy for marginalized groups has been in and of itself an act of resistance. Yesterday was a day for joy. A day for change. A day for history. And, yes, even a day for some fun.

So let’s enjoy the little things. Like how good all the women at the inauguration looked stunning in their jewel tones. And how great it felt to see history happening before our very eyes. A very good thing happened yesterday, and we should all take a moment to relax our shoulders and unclench our jaws. Yeah, we got shit to do. But I for one slept a whole lot better last night.

So, here is an assemblage of largely unimportant, but totally fun – because remember fun? – observations that I had about the inauguration.

1. When Kamala Harris/Straight Bette Porter is Vice President, we shall wear purple.

2. Hillary Clinton looked amazing and happy and that alone makes it a pretty good day in America.

3. Michelle Obama looked... Well, you have eyes. Use them to enjoy.

4. I look forward to an administration where the biggest scandal is whether Lady Gaga went too Hunger Games with her outfit.

5. Having Madam Vice President’s young great-nieces be part of the ceremony was wonderful. I am so tired of moronic Large Adult Sons vying for their father’s nonexistent love. Bring on the future.

6. Yes, after all the official ceremonies were over, you were not alone in “researching” Ella Emhoff and Maisy Biden. Respectfully, obviously. Always respectfully.

7. The President’s daughter Ashley Biden was blatantly pandering to get into Gender Fuck Thursday. Guess what, pandering works!

8. This is so simple, but it’s just so damn nice to see two people in the White House who love each other again. And, you know, also give a damn about their fellow Americans who aren’t billionaires of convicted tax frauds. These are decent people, and may we begin to be a decent country.

So, what were your favorite moments? Sure, it was weird when an ageless J-Lo asking the purposely small assemblage of elderly lawmakers, family and dignitaries to “Get loud!” And, don’t worry, we’ll talk more about Amanda Gorman later.

Hope you had a happy Joe Biden is President and Kamala Harris is Vice President Day, kittens. We have endured four years of constant horror. We survived, while 400,000 did not. Now, let’s roll up our sleeves. We’ve got an America to fix.

Today.

I consider today the true start to 2021. Sure, we may technically be 20 days into this New Year. But we have not been able to shed the ugly shackles of 2020 – and indeed the last four years – until today. At noon D.C. time, Donald Trump becomes just another rich asshole yelling at his television, but this time without a Twitter account. He will no longer be president, and that in and of itself makes the world just a little better.

I’m not naïve enough to think Joe Biden’s inauguration will fix everything automatically. President Biden and Vice President Harris are competent and compassionate leaders, but they are not magicians. Still at least now we can begin the work. I hope these last four years have held a mirror up to ourselves as a country. We can no longer pretend not to see the hatred, the willful consumption of misinformation, the lack of empathy and the denial of basic facts that has consumed the psyche of nearly half our neighbors. Yeah, 74 million people voted for four more years. But 81 million people said, fuck no – never again.

We must hold the people, and the Republican Party, accountable for how far we’ve fallen in just four years. And we must vow to hold every future administration, from Biden-Harris and every woman and man who comes after to a higher standard that cannot be hijacked by partisanship. We need to actually help the people who need help. And listen to science. And fully enfranchise more people. And unpack the courts. And grant LGBTQ people full equality. And so on, and so forth.

All that, and we haven’t even touched on the history we’re about to witness. Kamala D. Harris, first of her name and first female Vice President of the United States of America, first Black Vice President of the United States of America, first Indian-American Vice President of the United States of America. Damn, that’s exciting – and not just because I get to write Vice President Straight Bette Porter for the next four years.

But first, we have to make it to noon today. Happy Biden-Harris Inauguration Day & Last Day of Trump, kittens. We made it.

24. Hours. To. Go.

24 hours to go. Hold on. Almost there. Almost. There.

Music Monday: Change Edition

Thought we could all use a moment of grace before the start of this week. After four years of unmitigated chaos, destruction, lies, more lies, so many lies, corruption and hatred, a change is gonna come – soon. Very soon. So let Jennifer Hudson soothe you with her rendition of Sam Cooke’s powerful “A Change Is Gonna Come” from last year’s virtual Democratic National Convention. Two days, kittens, two days.

My Weekend Crush

Well, if all goes as planned with 20,000 U.S. National Guard troops there to ensure that it does, this will be the very last weekend we have to endure Donald Trump as president. I am not foolish or naive enough to think the world will be all rainbows and kittens starting January 20. I know there is so much work to do, so much hurt to fix, so many to be held accountable, and so much damage to heal. But, at least now we can start. May the forces that brought this monstrous orange stain of a human being to power (that’d be you, mainstream Republican Party) never be allowed to wash his hateful, fetid stink off themselves. The times are a changing, but our fight for equality and fairness is far from over. Happy last weekend of Trump, all.

So Not Nice, We Impeached Him Twice

Just gonna drop this here for no reason whatsoever. No reason at all. Anyway, gonna be fun telling future generations, “Yes, he really was that fucking evil we had to impeach his racist, fascist ass twice. And I’d do it again!”

That's Agent Starling to You

Well, damn, I think I have a new crime show to watch. I had forgotten they were making a “Silence of the Lambs” sequel-of-sorts for TV. But here it is, all ready to scare the bejesus out of us. The new series picks up sixth months after the events of “Silence of the Lambs” and follows Clarice Starling as she continues her fledgling career with the FBI.

I’m not familiar with Aussie actress Rebecca Breeds. But in the trailer her Jodie Foster is, mmm, fine. It lacks the deep tones, but then there’s only one Jodie Foster. But I’m more excited to see Devyn A. Tyler playing fellow FBI agent and Clarice’s “Silence” academy BFF/maybe more Ardelia Mapp.

First, bringing Agent Mapp in as a series regular brings needed and welcome diversity to the show. They have promised to make her more than just the Black Best Friend, so let’s hope they really do. And second, I always liked Clarice and Ardelia’s friendship in the film. It was truly one of the only non-terrifying parts of the movie. And I can’t be the only one who got a very ‘90s era, uh yeah, she’s my “roommate” vibe from those two.

Details about the show I have read call them best friends again. But if they’re “just friends,” why does it appear Clarice is at Ardelia’s house quite early in the morning when she is still in a robe and drinking coffee?

The show also will have to thread the “Silence” needle because of a bizarre copyright split that also splits use of the characters from the film. You can either use the character of Hannibal Lecter or you can use the character of Clarice Starling, you can’t use them both together apparently. That’s why “Hannibal” never mentioned Clarice. That’s a pretty big leap, given how Clarice was going to have to live knowing Lecter was still out there and eating well – so to speak. But, honestly, I’d rather have Clarice than that liver and Chianti lover anyway.

I have no idea whether the show will be any good. I haven’t seen any reviews yet. It looks pretty gruesome, and to be honest after the past year and the year these first 13 days of 2021 have felt like, I don’t know how much horror I can handle. But, for Clarice, at least I’ll try.

p.s. Don’t think I missed Kris Holden-Ried/Dyson in there as what I think might be some sort of Big Bad metaphorical wolf.

p.p.s. I feel like a show about chasing monsters feels right for this moment, and in particuar this day. After all, we’ve got a monster of our own to vanquish today.

What the Vogue Is This?

Look, you know I love strong women in suits. Like, I REALLY STRONG LOVE WOMEN IN SUITS. But, and this is very painful but, I do not in any way shape or form love the new February cover of Vogue with incoming Vice President Kamala Harris in a suit. The print edition cover hit the Series of Tubes over the weekend and let me just say, queer women and anyone with eyes should be mad. How mad?

THIS MAD!

On behalf of queer women who have a thing for tops in suits everywhere, THIS IS A HATE CRIME. https://t.co/MqSjsmIUHm

— Carmen Phillips (@carmencitaloves) January 10, 2021

What is this utter bullshit? This looks like it was taken for middle school picture day. It does not look like a picture that honors the first woman and first woman of color to be elected vice president in the history of the United States of America.

It’s awkward. It’s informal. It’s awful. The pink draping. The crease in her shirt. Her hands. The lighting. Her expression. THAT DAMN SUIT.

Now, take a look instead at the digital cover.

Same photographer, same editor and set designer. But so much more dignity. Yes, it’s still pretty basic and nowhere near as glamorous as so many of its other covers. But at least I don’t want to hurl it into the sun by comparison.

But I don’t necessarily blame the photographer or team behind the shoot. Instead, I blame Vogue management. According to reports, the blue suit photo is the cover Madam Vice President and photo team had agreed on to be the print cover. Indeed, it’s the digital cover for February. But the keepsake edition, the one everyone will see in grocery stores, it’s that other cringe-worthy photo. And lesbians aren’t the only ones complaining about the cover, not by a long shot.

Please don’t ask me about the cover this week has been hard enough

— Meena Harris (@meenaharris) January 10, 2021

I know this is might seem small ball – given everything that’s on fire right in our government – to complain about a fashion magazine cover right now. But the history that is about to be made cannot be understated. So anything that doesn’t properly honor the importance of this moment just feels disrespectful.

This is also not the first time Vogue has badly bungled a cover shoot featuring prominent Black women. In short, Vogue is very, very bad at this. And Vice President Straight Bette Porter deserved so, so, so much better.

Sweet Georgia

You know, I think in the heat of last week’s failed Insurrection of Weenies, we didn’t get to properly celebrate what it really means that we flipped the Senate. Those two new senators from Georgia mean we are about to have Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. Vice President Straight Bette Porter will break all ties and the Democrats can actually get shit done. And they’d better.

We need to restore the Voting Rights Act, pass the Equality Act, reform the courts, make DC a state, complete the ERA, fix goddamn healthcare, pass anticorruption laws, save the freaking planet and end this fucking pandemic. SO. MANY. THINGS.

Think about it, for the first time in America, LGBTQ people will be granted full civil rights and non-discrimination protection. Yeah, we’ll have to contend with SCOTUS down the line. But this, this is a big fucking deal. This is kind of everything.

It always boggles my mind when people say Democrats and Republicans are all the same. Now, as I’ve said many times before, Democrats aren’t perfect. But Democrats (by and large) want all those things, and Republicans just don’t. In fact, they’ve stopped many of them from happening already as House bills go to die on Mitch’s desk. Taking power away from one of the most vile, obstructionist politicians in modern American history is an unequivocal win.

Thanks to Georgia, we now have a shot – a real shot – to make things better. All we need to do is have the courage to push a bold, sweeping agenda. Move fast, help people. Damn, that’s exciting.

In celebration, please enjoy Julia Sugarbaker proving why don’t mess with a Sugarbaker woman – or Georgia. Buh-bye, Mitch. The lights went out on you in Georgia. Now let’s get to work.

p.s. And, yes, the House should absolutely, positively impeach Trump again. And this time the Senate better remove him and keep him from running for public office ever again.

My Weekend Crushed Coup

Fuck, I’m mad. After four year (really five since all this utter bullshit started June 16, 2015 with the golden elevator descent into infamy) of norm shattering, rule breaking, crony profiteering, copious hatemongering, endless scapegoating, and flat-out lying from Trump, it has come to this. The President of the United States instigated a coup to overturn the election. While I was not surprised at the storming of the Capitol by Trump’s deplorables (the MAGA cultists, the Proud idiots, the clearly overcompensating militiamen, the QAnon nutjobs, the other conspiracy wackadoodles, the millionaire cronies and so many white supremacists – though I feel like that last one’s just an overarching theme), I was surprised by how easily this confederacy of dunces was able to lay siege to the heart of American democracy.

We all watched live on television as they smashed through doors, broke windows, looted and pillaged lawmakers offices, stole from Nancy Pelosi’s desk, broke into the Senate and House chambers and generally wilded out in the hallowed halls of the United States government with the greatest of ease.

There’s so much to unpack about what happened. Trump’s despicable incitement of his deluded mob. Trump telling these violent rioters, “We love you. You’re very special.” The 8 Republican senators and 139 GOP representatives (which is more than double the number of GOP reps who voted NO, by the way) who proved Republicans are more than happy to throw out lawfully decided election results to install their own god-king. And then of course the Capitol Police’s utter failure.

So let’s start with that. How could police let this happen? How could they be so unprepared? How could they treat this mob with such relative kid gloves? The answer, as with so much wrong with America, is white privilege. Law enforcement looked at the group and, let’s be honest, saw themselves. I mean heavily armed white men who all voted for Trump? It’s like ultimate example of the Spider-Man pointing at Spider-Man meme.

Think I’m kidding? In 2016, a poll found that 84% of active police officers planned to vote for Trump. Then in 2020, Trump earned police union support across the country including the endorsement of the nation’s largest, the Fraternal Order of Police. Heck, cops actually love Trump more than their fellow white men – comparably, 64% of white men voted for Trump last election. (And no, not all cops, but the system itself is clearly broken.) So, yeah, Spider-Man memes all around.

Compare and contrast with what we saw all summer with the Black Lives Matter protests. Riot gear. Tear gas. Rubber bullets. Flash bombs. Military rifles. Fucking tanks. We watched officers bash in heads, shoot out eyes, douse pepper spray, throw people to the ground, snatch them up in unmarked vans and even run them over. Is this your law and order?

But when a group of angry white men show up? Whoa whoa whoa, hold on. They’re just airing their grievances. They’re just exercising their right to protest, and ransack our halls of government. We’ll even help! Let me hold your hand on these steps. Let me give you directions to Senator Schumer’s office. Wait, let me take a selfie.

There’s no doubt if the people who stormed the Capitol had been Black or any other POCs, dead bodies would be strewn across the rotunda. You know that’s true. You know it in your damn bones. And that, that’s the ugly truth about America. We’ve never stopped being a racist country, with bigotry baked into so many of our essential institutions.

It’s also proof positive that, when police want to, they can exercise extraordinary restraint. I mean, just some 50 arrests on a day when thousands rioted in the Capitol? Give me a fucking break, I’ve seen the Capitol Police drag peaceful protestors out of their wheelchairs. More than 200 peaceful protestors who did not try to overthrow the government were arrested during the Kavanaugh hearing alone. But sell some loose cigarettes or carry a toy gun with the wrong skin color and it’s judge, jury and executioner in a matter of seconds. Like, if you still don’t understand why Black Lives Matter matters after what we saw happen at the Capitol, I don’t know what to say.

In the end, perhaps the Trump era will put to bed the old canard that, “This is not who we are.” This is who we are. This is America, and has been America and if we don’t fight like hell to change it will continue to be America. I mean, 74 million people just voted for four more years of exactly this. I don’t know how to fix that. All these calls for reconciliation and finding middle ground with the other side? How can you reconcile with someone who doesn’t believe the ground even exists? The problems in America go beyond mere party preference or policy differences.

The problem is we live in entirely separate universes. One group of us believes in reality, and the other group does not or is willing to exploit those who do not for their own craven purposes (like I didn’t think you could find more punchable faces than Ted Cruz and Lindsey Graham, but Josh Hawley is certainly giving it the old “Did I mention I went to Stanford and Yale”-try.)

I know Democrats aren’t perfect. We do dumb shit and make bad calls and can be frustrating beyond belief sometimes. But we don’t think the press is the enemy of the people, we generally believe in science, and we for the most part try to traffic in the real world.

But the MAGA cult? They refuse truth. So how do you fix that? How do you make people turn of Fox and OANN and Newsmax , leave their social media silos and stop listening to all these bad-faith actors? How do you bring us all back to one set of facts? How do you make people believe in reality when they are bound and determined not to?

I don’t know, but I’ve never felt more hopeless about half of America. And after Wednesday’s disgraceful, disgusting display, I’ve never been angrier. There must be consequences. Trump can’t have 12 more days in office. Trump can’t have one more day in office. He is a grave danger to this country and the world.

This is man who was deemed too crazy to operate his own Facebook, Twitter and YouTube accounts, yet somehow still has complete access to the nuclear codes. This is a man who lives for vengeance. A man who is corrupt to his core. A man who cares only about himself. And unless we do something he has 12 days to do whatever he wants including but obviously not limited to pardoning his damn self.

If there are no consequences for Trump and his vile enablers this will happen again. This will happen again, and the next wannabe fascist will be smarter. The next wannabe fascist will actually succeed. Democracy isn’t self perpetuating. Democracy is hard work.

I’m sick of inaction and complacency. I’m mad as hell, and we’re not gonna take this anymore. Impeach that motherfucker again. Do it now. End this national nightmare. And, while we’re at it, make Biden’s inauguration a damn Zoom (there’s still a fucking pandemic, people) and then let’s get to work. There’s so much to do.

The one bit of greatly overshadowed good news of this week is that we won back the Senate. Senator Warnock and Senator Ossof mean Joe and Kamala might actually be able to get some shit done. Now we all have to make sure they do. Let’s make this country better. Now is our chance. Happy weekend, all.

She's Got Grace

When Ann Reinking died last month, one of the many irreplaceable greats to leave us in that oh-so monstrous of years, it brought back some very specific childhood memories. While I’ve always liked (if not loved) musicals, I’m by no means a theater buff. But I certainly knew Ann. And I knew Ann because of “Annie.” That musical was 100% in my wheelhouse as a kid. I listened to that soundtrack on endless repeat. And I’m sure I watched the movie every time it aired on TV. My poor parents.

One of the things I loved most about Annie was Ann Reinking as Grace Farrell, Daddy Warbucks’s impossibly elegant and beautiful personal assistant. Now I was young when I got into Annie, and had no idea about my sexuality at that age. But I knew there was something about her. I loved her Grace. She was so stylish and danced like a dream. I mean, any lady who rescues an orphan and her dog is automatic queer woman bait.

Looking back, clearly, her portrayal of Grace appears to have been an unrealized root of sorts. It is definitely one of the reasons I love women in suits. This grey suit with its matching tie and smart hat? Come on!

So, here’s a belated tribute to Ann, whose resume of course was packed with greatness well beyond her “Annie” role (actors, dancer, choreographer, Tony winner and all that jazz, ahem). We got Ann, and it was a thing of beauty to watch. Thank you for making an indelible impression on my young gay heart.

Sledgehammer Time

So, um, I guess I’m an inspo blogger now? But, honestly, who wouldn’t be inspired by seeing Allison Janney sporting a stunning red evening gown paired with construction boots and a sledgehammer? It’s a very specific aesthetic, to be sure. But one I think queer women can universally agree deserves our utmost respect, unwavering admiration and loudest wolf whistle. Again, respectfully.

And a Charlize New Year

I’m not really the kind of person who puts much stock in vision boards or inner dreamscaping and such. But if I were such a person I would spend an inordinate amount of time pinning scenes from Charlize Theron action movies to my board. She has had – and this is not hyperbole in any way – the best consecutive, non-franchise/sequel-based run of action movies of any actor in modern history. “Mad Max: Fury Road” (2015), “Atomic Blonde” (2017), and “The Old Guard” (2020). That is the holy trinity of quality Charlize Theron action movies. And her kicking dudes asses all over the world and into futuristic apocalyptic hellspace while kissing girls is exactly the energy I want to bring with me into 2021.

p.s. Get out there and VOTE FOR OSSOFF & WARNOCK, GEORGIA. This is our one chance to go all Furiosa/Lorraine/Andy on Mitch's ass, America.

Music Monday: When Harry Met Phoebe

Hard to argue there’s a better sentiment than “Treat People With Kindness” to start out this new year. And while, as always, Surrenders is all about the ladies, I am never opposed to highlighting the deserving menfolk amongst us – deserving being the key word here. And as much as I’m no longer in any loops when it comes to today’s hearttrobs, I know Harry Styles is what I think is universally considered a good egg. And, if nothing else, his refusal to conform to whatever beyond retrograde ideal of a manly man is to Right-Wingers continued chagrin makes him A-OK in my book. Plus, like how can you not appreciate him hot-shoeing with Phoebe Waller-Bridge in matching white tuxedo fancy dress in what can only be appropriately described the unbridled and joyous bisexual/pansexual/gender-fluid/anyone-with-eyes fantasy dance sequence of our collective dreams? Happy first Monday of 2021, kittens.

My New Year's Crush

We made it. We made it to 2021. Does changing the year on the calendar fix anything automatically? Duh, of course not. But the symbolism (and, you know, reality) of the year we all just lived through cannot be lost on us. We lived through some fucking trauma. And more than 330,000 did not make it to this moment. So please time to enjoy this day, and all those to come. If you haven’t had a chance to see “Ammonite” yet, I still believe it’s worth it. For all its intentionally grim silences, there was still beauty amid its gray, hard stone surface. Today, float like Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan through this ocean of a world. Claim your joy this year, you’ve earned it. Happy weekend and 2021, all.