Out, bright spot, out!

You deserve this today. I mean it. You’ve earned it. You’ve earned two gorgeous magazine covers featuring two talented out gay women. You deserve Ellen Page in that Marlene Dietrich tux. You deserve Samira Wiley in those Josephine Baker pearls. You deserve it all.

The actresses are among four covers for this year’s annual Out 100 list. (Their male counterparts are Zachary Quinto and Sam Smith.) The images are beautiful, naturally. But I was even more interested in the small interviews with each woman. Ellen, again, eloquently describes her feeling of responsibility and relief she felt coming out. And then there’s this gem about the lesbian trend canard:

“Even if it did become a trend, who cares, right? Let being yourself become a trend.”

Samira’s interview is equally interesting, but for different reasons. For one, it’s another non-coming out coming out. It never directly mentions her sexuality, but it does mention her girlfriend/OITNB writer Lauren Morelli. And it also talks about her upbringing being raised in a family filled with acceptance and faith. Isn’t it sad when that’s the exception and not the norm. As she says:

“I feel like oftentimes in the church people get caught up in literal translations of the Bible. But that’s not the home I grew up in. I was just taught that love is the most powerful thing. And being able to see that and see my parents on the forefront of that made such a big impact on my life.”

See, I told you you deserved this.



p.s. In case you feel you deserve more there are also nice photos/items on Evan Rachel Wood, Ariel Schrag and Angel Haze among others in this year’s list.

p.p.s. Oh, and do not forget to click both the pictures to embiggen them. You really, really deserve that.

Criminally Funny

Some actors you just wish well. Whether you like the show they happen to be on or not, you root for them. Paget Brewster is one of those actors. I’ve watched “Criminal Minds” on and off over the years – though thanks to the power of rerun marathons I’m pretty sure at this point I’ve seen every single episode. And I’ve always enjoyed the Paget season the most (we shall not talk of the abomination that was the Ashley Seaver Season – shudder). But now that she has left the Special Agents ranks once more (and this time likely for good), I was wondering where she might land. And yesterday I found out, she is joining “Community” for its sixth season. The former NBC-turned-Yahoo show will return in early 2015 with Paget as “Francesca ‘Frankie’ Dart, a consultant brought in to help shape up the school.” If you are among the people scratching your head wondering why that lady cop from the serial killer show is on a sitcom, scratch no more. Paget got her TV start on “Friends,” and has subsequently brought the laughs on shows like “Huff,” “Andy Richter Controls the Universe” and three very funny, very drunk episodes of “Drunk History.” (Seriously, Google them.) Bottom line, lady is funny.

So in celebration of this wonderful news, please enjoy Paget reading a REAL-LIFE dirty love letter from James Joyce to his wife, Nora. I cannot overemphasize how incredibly DIRTY these love letters from 1909 truly are. Like, for real, wear headphones. This is NSFW defined. Yeah, that’s right, the dude who wrote “Ulysses” just put all your naughty sexts to absolute SHAME.

[If the video is geoblocked, try this link, international friends.]

Come and Get Lost

I still, STILL, can’t believe it’s ending. But with each new promo I get reminded: The end is near. Sigh. I fluctuate between extreme excitement and extreme sadness the closer we get to “Lost Girl” season 5. Excitement because, hot damn, a new season of “Lost Girl.” Sadness because, say it ain’t so, the last season of “”Lost Girl.” But I don’t have to tell you. You know exactly how I feel.

p.s. The continued adorability of the entire cast helps ease the pain...a little.

My Weekend Crush

I’ve really enjoyed all things Lorde since she burst on the scene all untamed hair and weird hand dances last year. And I’ve continued to enjoy her through her BFF-dome with Taylor Swift and continued weird hand dancing. And I really, really enjoy her new song “Yellow Flicker Beat” for the soundtrack of “he Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1.” Like, really, really. The video, I am happy to report, does not disappoint either. I particularly enjoy (and commend) whoever got all.that.hair. into a pompadour of sorts. Impressive. Also, love the sly “The Shining” shout out in that ballroom scene pose. Happy weekend, all.

In Otter News

After yet another highly disheartening (and confusing – vote for weed, vote for minimum wage increases, vote for Republicans?) midterm elections I think we could all use a palate cleanser. I’ve been doing my best deep breathing techniques to come to terms with the fact that the guy who wrote “The Greatest Hoax: How the Global Warming Conspiracy Threatens Your Future” will now be in charge of the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee. So I have brought out the big guns today to change the tone. Desperate times call for desperate measures and all. The simple fact is there’s nothing, absolutely nothing at all in this world cuter than a baby sea otter. So feel better, America. Things this adorable still exist, despite who runs Congress.

Who is afraid of the Big Bad Boo?

Among one of the many, many, many reasons I love “Orange Is the New Black” is its contribution to the resurgence of Lea DeLaria. Some of us still remember her as the first out comic to appear on a late-night talk show (back the first time Arsenio Hall had a talk show). Everyone else just knows her as Big Boo. TV and film hasn’t quite figured out what to do with butch lesbians, other than make them the obligatory punchline. Too often they’ve woefully underrepresented. Other times they’re poorly portrayed. (For reference, please see yesterday’s post about Tammy.) So good for Lea. Because for the past 20-plus years she has been an unapologetically, unmistakably butch voice amid all the on-screen lipstick. Also, it’s a rare treat to see her yell down a homophobic street preacher on the subway. Nobody fuck with Big Boo. Well, unless they love peanut butter. Ahem.

Tammy Time

“Transparent” is a very, very good TV show. If you haven’t watched it yet or haven’t felt compelled to kick in for an Amazon Prime account to be able to watch it yet, you should. Plus, it’s almost the holiday season and you know that free two-day shipping that comes with the account will come in handy for that friend who got you a present you weren’t expecting and now you have to reciprocate with something last minute, dammit. (Or, not, there are other ways – cough, nudge, cough – to watch, too. I’ve heard.)

Series creator Jill Soloway has a gift for cutting us an intimate slice of familial dysfunction and making us want to stay and devour the whole messy pie – preferably in one sitting. This story of a trans parent of three adult children transitioning from Mort to Maura is sharply drawn and instantly engaging. Like Lisa Cholodenko, Soloway has a way of immediately inserting us into a specific lifestyle and making it feel completely lived in. Here the lives of the members of an affluent Jewish family in Southern California are laid bare, in ways that expose their flaws with the poignancy and humor that ultimately universal to most families.

It’s hard to overstate how good this show really is. It’s fantastic and fascinating. I made myself stop watching the day I started so I could make it last longer. That good.

And for us gay ladies the show is brimming over with rich, complicated female queer characters from Maura to eldest daughter Sarah and youngest daughter best friend Syd. It’s almost perfect. But then, there’s the reason for the almost.

Tammy. Sarah’s girlfriend – the lady she was L.U.G. for in college and left her husband for after college – is by far the most thinly drawn character on the series. This isn’t really Melora Hardin’s fault. (Side note: I totally didn’t recognize her at first as Jan from The Office. See what wonders a little short hair and swagger can have?) She is just given so very little to work with. It’s like they ran out of character development and just said, “Act like someone who cares more about the furniture than people’s feelings.”

Granted, there’s only so much time in a half hour series with only 10 episodes and this show isn’t skimpy on the characters. So, fine, Tammy gets the short shrift. Since the series has been renewed for a second season we can only hope this means we’ll see another side of Tammy in the future. Or any side of Tammy that isn’t all smirks and smarm. I mean, not that I mind a little of the smarm. She can flash those sunglasses at me anytime.

T-Swizzle and Shake

OK, Taylor. OK. You win. You totally win. Your reign of unabashed likeability continues unabated. “1989” is a fun, I admit it. It makes me hum along at my desk. Despite her penchant for doing the most White Girl Things possible (bad dancing, shiny rompers, high hotpants, more bad dancing), Taylor has perfected her public persona. She has grown into what seems like a genuine young woman – and that is not easy to do under the blare of our constant criticism of female celebrities, particular young female celebrities. She dates too much. She’s not feminist enough. She’s not edgy enough. But, you know, shake it off. She has gone out of her way to befriend an unexpected assortment of other young female celebrities (from Lorde to Lena Dunham). So you know what, I do not have a problem with her and I’m tired of policing everyone else’s everything. “1989” is fun, I admit it. Now, off to dance to “New Romantics” in my chair. Again.


Taylor Swift - New Romantics

p.s. Anyone who canoodles Tegan and Sara on stage is clearly not all bad. Not even half bad.

p.p.s. In case you were wondering, T-Swizzle also says “you can want who you want, boys and boys and girls and girls.” So there is that.

My Halloween Weekend Crush

You may or may not know this about me, but Halloween is my favorite holiday. It isn't because of the scares, necessarily, because I am a 'fraidy cat. But I like the ability to transform. There is a freedom to Halloween that doesn't come with all the other holidays. Plus, it is just fun to get dressed up in costume. And it doesn't hurt that my birthday is the day after. Also, candy. So this Halloween I wish you good spirit and happy scares. May your treat bag never be burdened with rocks. Happy Halloween weekend, all!

Must Lesbian TV

So I’m terribly behind in this new season of TV and get the sense I should be watching things I am not. In particular, I feel I should be watching new shows with new lesbian recurring/regular characters. I am watching “Gotham” with its clearly pinning for her ex Renee Montoya already. So at least I have that going for me.

I also saw the pilot of “Jane the Virgin” and liked it (as unlikely as the premise was). But then I forgot to set a series recording and now I’m behind. But I want to catch up because a) its good reviews and b) the lesbian gynecologist/accidental inseminator.

I have not watched “Marry Me,” mostly because I couldn’t tell it apart from the other rom-comy sitcoms debuting this season like “A to Z,” “Manhattan Love Story” and “Selfie.” But Marry Me at least has the advantage of having both a) Casey Wilson and b) a lesbian friend played by Timberlee Hill. So, maybe I should watch?

I also know there’s a lesbian sister character on “Survivor’s Remorse,” but I don’t really care about the world of professional basketball and/or shows produced by LeBron James so that’s probably a skip in my book.

I’m not sure if these new characters add up to a “Fall TV lesbian revolution,” as The Washington Post claims. But at least it’s a few more gay ladies to add to the cannon. (I tend to think the loss of lesbian and bisexual characters recently is more noteworthy, ahem.) Also, as I noted earlier this week, we’re still waiting for more of those elusive shows centered exclusively around a gay lady/ladies – instead of just including us on the periphery.

So now it’s your turn. Help a lady who likes ladies out. Are you watching any of these shows? Which ones seem worth it?

p.s. Ended up watching Marry Me and, yes, it gets a full season record. Also, bonus gay dads.

Falling Up

Finally, the wait is (maybe, possibly) over. The return date for “The Fall” has been announced by BBC One, which means we get to see more of Gillian Anderson being absolutely amazing. Well, we will once Netflix picks it up for streaming, at least (grumble, kicks rocks, British get everything first, grumbles). Those who watched the first season are no doubt ready for more of this cat-and-mouse detective v. serial killer series. Those who did not watch should catch up because it was only five episodes and what are you waiting for already?

Besides starring the luminous (but seriously, how has she gotten even more beautiful with age?) Gillian as the dogged detective, the series also features Archie Panjabi as a medical examiner and Niamh McGrady as a lesbian police constable. So many wonderful female roles – and also that dude who is going to be in “Fifty Shades of Grey.” It is hard to tell much about the second season from the very short trailer, but they are definitely playing up the sexual menace. I’m rather meh on that aspect. But hopefully that is just a way to lure in the BDSM-lite lovers who want to see what else Christian Grey has been up to.

Rebel Without a K-Stew

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 1,000 times. I have no idea whether Kristen Stewart is gay. But her hair, yeah, her hair is most definitely gay. These are heady, heady times to be a gay lady indeed. I mean, imagine how different my formative years would have been if there were out young gay ladies like Ellen Page and Kristen Stewart’s Hair to look up to as role models while growing up. You’re damn right it gets better.

I fully approve of this James Dean chic (minus the cigs).



I also fully approve of her young Jodie Foster doppelgangdome.



But, for realsies, has she ever looked more Shane today?



p.s. Bonus K-Stew in a tank top because it is Tuesday, after all.

Outrageous Fortune

Here I go, getting my hopes up again. I start to daydream about a good, funny, real sitcom based around a lesbian character/characters might finally make it to the air. I’m still waiting for NBC to unleash “One Big Happy,” the Liz Feldman/Ellen DeGeneres collaboration about a gay lady (Elisha Cuthbert) and her straight male BFF (Nick Zano) who decide to have a baby together (the test tube way, don’t worry). It’s supposed to air mid-season and has a shiny “Coming Soon” tag on its website. So, you know, fingers crossed.

But while we wait let me get all excited about another project, also from a formidable TV team. Funny gay lady Fortune Feimster and MyFake TV Wife Tina Fey are working together on a potential series. The sitcom would be a semiautobiographical take on Fortune’s life growing up in North Carolina. Tina and her “30 Rock” producing/writing partners Matt Hubbard and Robert Carlock are set to produce. ABC has picked up the pilot, which is still being written, and we’ll see how it goes from there.

Fortune told AfterEllen that she got Tina on board via a Skype session:

“At the end of the Skype meeting she says, ‘OK, get to work!’ so I kind of had a heart attack. I thought, ‘Does this mean what I think it means?’ but I didn’t want to ask her. And that was it. We started working on it, we pitched it to three networks and they all wanted it. We ended up picking up ABC because they seemed the most excited and it was a great fit.”

Though Fortune already had a bit of an in with Tina, having worked on the pilot for “Cabot College,” a series set in a women’s college that didn’t end up getting a pickup.

So can this new series make it where “You Me And He,” “I Hate That I Love You” and “My Best Friend Is a Lesbo” et al didn’t make it? Who knows. But we can sure dream.

My Weekend (Gif) Crush

You know those days when you realize just how badly you need to reorganize your gif folders? Like, why do I have six separate folders just labeled “gifs?” What am I, an animal? Get it together, woman. How am I expected to adequately express human emotions without a supremely curated gif archive at my fingertips? What is life without the ability to immediately find the most appropriate gif to mirror a cultural moment? How will I know exactly which Tina Fey eye roll to use at exactly the right Tina Fey eye roll moment? Clearly, my priorities are all askew. So please excuse me while I spend a weekend properly categorizing my Big Lesbian Gif Feelings*. Happy weekend, all.

*Just kidding, I’m totally going to spend the weekend sitting in peace and eating a sandwich.

EDIT: Per the comments. Yes, I am super, super sad about The Lex. Le sigh.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Freeheld Edition

So earlier this week, news broke that a Catholic High School in New York refused to grant permission for Ellen Page and Julianne Moore’s new movie “Freeheld” to film on its campus. In case you were wondering, yes, it was refused because of The Gay. Yes, in 2014 when 32 states (and counting) have granted gays and lesbians the right to marry, l this kind of shit still happens. They’re a religious institution and it’s sadly their prerogative to discriminate. But how utterly ridiculous that they would want to in the first place.

Ellen felt the same way, tweeting:

Using religion to justify bigotry makes me sad. Sending my support 2 the LGBT students at the school who I hope r able 2 find acceptance.

— Ellen Page (@EllenPage) October 21, 2014

And, yes, the irony that a movie about fighting institutional discrimination should face institutional discrimination while getting made is not lost on anyone.

In much better news about “Freeheld,” film production is moving right along according to Ellen and Julianne’s Twitter feeds. There is a scene in shorts and a scene in ice skates. And hopefully lots and lots of scenes in suits. The hoodies are pretty cute, too.



I really can’t fully articulate how excited I am for this film. Not only is the cast top-notch, the cast is also fully supportive of what the film and the women’s its lives portray stood for. Equality, justice, love. And this blatant bigotry from the school is a reminder of everything Laurel and Stacie’s lives can still teach us. Don’t stop fighting for what’s right. Because, eventually, we’ll win.

Face Time

I do not have a problem with Renee Zellweger’s face. I have never had a problem with Renee Zellweger’s face. And I do not anticipate having a problem with Renee Zellweger’s face in the future. This is because Renee Zellweger’s face has never done anything to me personally, as a human being. I expect it to stay that way baring a chance encounter where we’re both bending down to pick up a package and her face smacks into my face, we laugh about it, decide to have a coffee to continue laughing and then become BFFs who laugh together to the irritation of all those around us over the in-joke of our faces smashing into each other that one fateful day. Otherwise, Renee Zellweger’s face and I have no relationship whatsoever.

But yesterday the entire fucking Internet couldn’t stop talking about its deep personal relationship with Renee Zellweger’s face. That’s the only reason I can think for all the fussing and worrying and tittering and squawking about Renee Zellweger’s face. Everyone on The Internet must know it personally and therefore it’s state of being is an integral part of everyone’s life. Otherwise, it would just be silly to monitor and scrutinize and compare and hypothesize so much about Renee Zellweger’s face.

Women in general and women in Hollywood in particular have become so accustomed to the world’s scrutiny of our faces, our bodies, our lives that we hardly think it unusual. Of course people are noticing and judging and clucking behind our backs. Of course. Nothing unusual about that. But you know what, it is unusual. It’s downright peculiar. What does it matter to you or me or the Shih Tzu that lives next door that something may or may not look a little different about Renee Zellweger’s face? How do whatever procedures that may or may not have been done to Renee Zellweger’s face impact my day-to-day life? Has it made me late for the bus? Did it make me bounce the rent check? Will it make me nachos for dinner? Nope, nope and – dammit – nope.

So what that Renee Zellweger’s face looks a little different. It’s her face. We’ve become so conditioned to judge ourselves and each other that we barely notice how unbearable that spot between the rock and the hard place we are wedged has become. We’re damned if we do (OMG, look at her face – pre-surgery), and damned if we don’t (OMG, look at her face – post-surgery). Now, I’m no fan of cosmetic procedures. I wish we lived in a society where we all felt comfortable enough in our own skin to just leave ourselves be. But I certainly don’t feel we should heap scorn on those who feel differently. Our perception of our beauty is so wrapped up in the cultural perception of our beauty that too often there is no distinction.

Which brings me back to Renee Zellweger’s face. Like I said, I have no problem with Renee Zellweger’s face. But I have a lot of problems with how we’ve all reacted to Renee Zellweger’s face.

Tank Top Tuesday

Each time I post a Tank Top Tuesday I struggle to find a theme. The universal theme is hotness, because ladies in tank tops are hot. Duh. But specificity is also important. So if the family is hot, then the genus is brunettes. Sorry blondes, sometimes we’re the ones having more fun. But wait, there’s more. If the kingdom is hot and the genus is brunettes, the species would be tasteful black and whites. Hey, I didn’t make the hierarchy of biological classification, I just put things into their place. Or that was a really long-winded excuse to post Shay Mitchell in her tank top on the beach. And all these other hot, brunettes in black and white. Just keeping it orderly.

Emmanuelle Vaugier

I continue to feel inconsolable about the end of “Lost Girl,” and it hasn’t even started yet.

Angie Harmon

I am considerably less bereft about the cliffhanger on “Rizzoli & Isles.” It’s not like they are going to rename the show “Isles & Her Wikipedia-Like Memory.“

Julia Ormond

Apparently she’s on some Lifetime show about witches. I haven’t watched and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.

Hettienne Park

She is definitely on that show about the cannibalistic serial killer. I haven’t watched that either, but only because I can’t spare the nightmares.

Kristin Scott Thomas

Remember when she said she was a lesbian once in college? That’s back when we all still thought Hugh Grant was charming.

Juliette Binoche

I fear I’m probably getting my hopes up too much about her lesbianing together with K-Stew in “Clouds of Sils Maria.” But a gal can dream.

Jada Pinkett Smith

I still don’t understand her speech pattern on “Gotham,” but I do appreciate her swagger. The lady brings her own bat.

Must Kill TV

With all due disrespect (see what I did there, eh eh?) to pimps, it’s hard out there for a lesbian/bisexual character. This has been a brutal year for queer females on television. Tara Thornton. Leslie Shay. Sara Lance. Dead. Dead. Deadity dead.

Things are so dire that I only half jokingly called a future bride-to-be in a coma a slightly positive representation for queer female characters. Yes, really.

So, what’s up? Why do we keep getting offed? Granted, it’s not that lesbian characters are the only ones getting axed. But with the continued underrepresentation (and decline) of queer female characters on TV (we went from 43 percent of all the queer characters on TV to 40 percent in the last year), each loss matters even more.

The most galling thing about these deaths is not necessarily that they happened, but why they happened. In almost every instance the death was declared a motivating factor for another character or characters. True Blood executive producer Angela Robinson said, “We need to kill someone to show that the stakes are really high going into the last season.” The Chicago Fire executive producer said they chose Shay because she “affected the most people.” And an Arrow executive producer said Sara was picked because “it buys us a lot of story.”

In essence, these queer characters’ lives were less important than what these queer characters’ deaths means to the plot. We’re disposable, plot devices, motivations for the characters who really matter.

Look, I don’t doubt that these TV producers earnestly felt the deaths were necessary. But by not taking in account the added import of every queer character on television they did us all a disservice. Does this mean you can never kill off your LGBT characters? Of course not, you kill whichever characters you want, you heartless TV dream killing bastards – I mean, writers. But think, really think, if there’s another way to make the same point that lets a gay character live on and become a fully realized part of your show instead. In other words, try harder. We’re people, not plot points.

p.s. Also, yo The Good Wife writers, don’t be getting any funny ideas about killing off Kalinda now that Archie Panjabi is leaving the show. I mean it, no funny business.

My Weekend Crush

This is EXACTLY how I would react if I met Hillary Clinton. So thank you, little 10-year-old Macy Friday, for being the Hillary fangirl inside all of us. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Putting on the Ritz

I’ve got spirit, yes I do. I’ve got spirit, how about you? So she isn’t wearing purple for Spirit Day, but just this once I think you’ll probably forgive me. Please enjoy Glenn Glose on the cover of The Hollywood Reporter. Really soak her in. I find staring at her in this most outstanding of tuxedos makes the universe feel like a better place. If only just a little. Also, did you know Glenn grew up in a crazy cult as a kid? Neither did I!



She really cuts a dashing figure, that lady. So, fine, it is not in purple. But it is a Thursday, after all. So the theme still holds for me.

All Wet

You guys, I have been barely keeping my head above water with work and life and blog and such this month. I know, I know, everyone is swamped. Life is the definition of busy. I ask that you please excuse this paltry excuse for a post today in the name of the general beleaguered and overworked state of humanity. Also, it is a pretty lady getting dunked in water (and for a good cause). So, you know, still not too shabby.

p.s. I love how Ellen pretends to not want to dunk her wife, but then is not-so secretly gleeful once Portia goes down. Don’t worry, she saves it by being sweet and apologetic. Or is that her “Please still sleep with me tonight” face?

On Thursday We Wear Purple

Hey, Oct. 16 (Thursday, I think that’s Thursday) is Spirit Day. And a couple of the ladies from Orange Is the New Black have lent their support for the Spirit Day spirit. So while they normally wear orange, on Thursday they will wear purple. Which is really sweet.

Also, did you know almost every single OITNB actors has been on Law & Order? Autostraddle did an epic post finding all of their on screen L&O moments. And Vulture followed up with clips. See, now this was why The Series of Tubes was made. To give us this kind of masterclip joy. Cue chung-chung sound.

Howdy, Partner

Straight girls, amirite? It’s a tale as old as time, tune as old as song, beauty and the ultimately unattainable straight girl. I’ve been hearing a lot of good rumblings about “Life Partners” since Cannes this spring. The story of two co-dependent female friends – one gay and one straight played by Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester and Community’s Gillian Jacobs, respectively. But I wasn’t totallyintoitlikeomg until I saw the trailer. And, immediately, it struck that chord of female friendship I think we’ve all had at some point in our lives. That friend you feel certain you can’t live without. Until, for some of us, one day we do. Of course, it becomes especially complicated in a straight girl-lesbian relationship. Can I get an “Amen!” But it’s not just the gay lady, straight lady dynamic that makes me want to see this movie. It’s that really good movies about the complicated, weird and often so incredibly wonderful thing that is female friendships don’t get made that often. At least not ones that don’t use singing into a hairbrush together as shorthand for emotional depth. So sign me me. I’m there. Just don’t break my heart, straight girl. Or gay girl. Really, just be nice to one another. Sorry, am I rambling? I do that sometimes with my female friends. Don’t worry, I know you understand. Right, friend?

My Weekend Crush

For all the innumerable sins Ryan Murphy has committed against television, his one hope for salvation is the gainful employment of Angela Bassett, Kathy Bates and Jessica Lange all in one show. (There’s also Sarah Paulson, but I feel sure she would have been snapped up by someone else smart soon enough.) It’s hard to think of another show that employs so many Oscar-nominated women over the age of 55 in starring and non-grandmotherly roles. Think very hard. Yeah, like I said, it’s hard.

Of those three very, very talented ladies I really, really want Angela Bassett to shine this season. I was, quite frankly, underwhelmed by her role as Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau in “American Horror Story: Coven.” This was, of course, not her fault. The scripts gave her little more to do sometimes than cackle. Oh, but what a magnificent one it was. So now with “American Horror Story: Freak Show,” I hope against hope that Murphy and the powers that be will finally take full advantage of everything this woman can truly do. And, no, I am not referring to her three boobs...necessarily.

Hollywood has had a bit of a hard time deciding what to do with Angela over the years. Her brilliance grabbed you by the scruff of the neck and wouldn’t let go in movies like “Malcolm X,” “What's Love Got to Do with It” and “Waiting to Exhale.” I particularly liked her in badass mode in Kathryn Bigelow’s underrated “Strange Days.” But for every good role, there have been too many forgettable ones. “Mr. 3000,” “Green Lantern,” “Jumping the Broom.” What? Huh? Really? Of course, I don’t blame her for that either.

So now, with AHS: Freak Show, Hollywood has one more chance to do right by her. We know she is capable, but are they? We shall see. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. Just a reminder, this lady is 56 and still goddamn, goddamn.

Gender Fuck Thursday: The Payoff

Remember back in May when Cate Blanchett, Emily Blunt and Zhou Xun were walking and boating around Portofino in the most impeccable tuxedos you’ve ever seen in your whole damn life and your entire body was like, UNF GURGLE FAINT? Remember? Well, the finished images and video from that heaven-send photoshoot have been released, finally.



Yes, yes, it’s for a stupid watch commercial. Yes, yes, I agree Ewan McGregor and Christoph Waltz are a waste of valuable time we could be staring at Cate, Emily and Xun. But, sweet fancy Moses, is that a lot of gorgeous happening. I can’t even decide which pictures I like best.

Like, which Cate is better? This?



Or this?



Which Emily? This?



Or This?



Which Xun? This?



Or this, with bonus Emily?



THERE IS NO WAY TO CHOOSE DON’T MAKE ME, YOU MONSTER.

I’m not even kidding when I say many days I’d rather look at a woman in an impeccably tailored suit than a tiny string bikini. This is one of those days. There’s just so much richness for the eyes to linger on. The mystery and the elegance.

Oh, shut up, idiot. It’s hot. It’s just fucking hot. They look hot. They make you hot. Everything’s hot. In conclusions, to summarize, as I was saying, HOT.



OK, IWC. I will buy all of your dumb watches immediately if each one comes with a Cate, Emily of Xun of our choice – preferably all three. In suits. The suits are non-negotiable. Seriously, keep the watches. Leave the ladies in the suits.



p.s. I made this gif for you because I love you. Ciao, bella.

Mind the Gap

I would have posted this for Sarah Silverman’s unique name for her girls alone. But the message is an important one as well. Granted, I don’t suggest we all get surgically enhanced (unless you want to, or need to, or are one of our trans friends, etc.). Anyway, please enjoy. Also, I’m totally kicking myself for not thinking of that boob name before her.

E.T.A.:

Top 5 Gay Lady Boob Names: 5. Rizzoli & Isles 4. Bette & Tina 3. Cagney & Lacey 2. Thelma & Louise 1. Xena & Gabrielle

— Dorothy Snarker (@dorothysnarker) October 8, 2014

Endgame

OK, OK – FINE! I relent. I relent. I’ll talk about it. It’s HAPPENING. Santana and Brittany are totally getting married*. Yesterday’ Naya Rivera Dorsey (still so not used to that last bit) sent out a tweet heard around the Brittanaverse.

Popping a very important question today at glee! ;-)

— Naya Rivera Dorsey (@NayaRivera) October 6, 2014

*No, I’m not including a spoiler alert because once one of your stars posts it for all the world to see, there’s nothing left to spoil.

Rumors have been swirling for a while now about the pending proposal. The fires had been fanned even more by reunion pics of Santana and Brittany awkwardly pretending they’re still n lesbian with each other puckering up together. Just kidding. They look great! Look, their lips are thisclose to touching. Honest!

I’ve divested myself of my Glee fandom long ago. I can’t even tell you if I watched the last few episodes of the last season because I can’t be bothered to care. It’s all just an epic shrug to me now. So I had heard rumblings of all the final season news – going back to Ohio, Britt and San reunion, etc. etc. But I didn’t follow it closely because, you know, it’s Glee – who the fuck knows what’s actually going to happen.

Does this mean I have to care again? Not really. Will I watch it? Yeah, probably – for the Brittana. While I’m no longer invested in these characters futures, I do feel a sentimental attachment to their pasts. So I rather like the idea of circling back and giving them a proper ending. Endgame, kittens, endgame. So, fine, you got me – one last time. Fate has laid a hand, indeed.

Wedding Bells

And then there were 24. With its decision not to hear pending marriage equality cases in five states, the Supreme Court has cleared the way for us gaymos to get hitched post haste in Indiana, Oklahoma, Utah, Virginia and Wisconsin. Virginia already kicked things off with its Attorney General announcing marriages could begin at 1 p.m. today ET and calling it “a momentous & joyous day for thousands of Virginians.” Hell yeah, Virginia is for lovers. As it stands now, at 24, we’re at the tipping point for nationwide equality. One more state and it will be exactly half of the country.

And, that will happen much sooner rather than later because of the complicated way the circuit courts work. The decision today affects six more states, where same-sex marriage is all but assured to become law: Colorado, Kansas, North Carolina, South Carolina, West Virginia and Wyoming.

And those states, once all the legal wrangling is complete, will bring the number to 30. That’s more than half. That’s an unstoppable trend. That’s the majority. It should be noted that, of course, marriage equality is not the end-all, be-all gauge for full equality for LGBT people in this country. Ironically, in many of the newly or soon-to-be newly legalized states there are no statewide non-discrimination laws. So while you can get married, you can still get fired for being gay. So there is still much work to be done, of course. But for now, let us savor this moment at the precipice. Because very soon, those states that do not allow marriage equality will be in the minority. Yeah, suck on that. Also, damn, America. You are about to get so many more wedding invites.

p.s. It’s all very fluid. But according to the Freedom to Marry live blog, Colorado lifted its stay meaning it is the 25th state to legalize same-sex marriage. Which means HALF. HALF THE COUNTRY. Get on the right side of history boat or get left behind.

My Weekend Crush

I don’t know if you watched “Outlander” like I told you to, but I sure hope you did. Because it was very, very good. Epic. Romantic. Adventurous. Feminist. Sexy. A big part of that has to do with the exquisite Caitriona Balfe. As Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser (whew, that’s a mouthful), she is a heroine to be reckoned with. Instead of being “spunky” like your average cookie-cutter independent TV heroine, Claire is a bit of a crank. She can be foul-mouthed and impatient and calculating. Always she is her own person, and a full-realized person at that. That means both her intellect and her sexuality, which is not glossed over with mood lighting and gentle fades to black. “Outlander” is one of the very rare shows on TV to luxuriate in the female gaze, we feel her lust and it’s fantastic. Granted, big burly Scottish Highlanders aren’t really my thing. But, still, well done, Claire. Well done. And none of this would work if Caitriona wasn’t up for the task. She carries Claire on her elegant shoulders with an air of confidence and capability. Also, heavens, has she been lovely to look at. It’s almost enough just to gaze at her beautiful face until “Outlander” returns in April. Almost. Damn, April is a long time away. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. I agree, there was a bit too much sexual menace for my taste. Like, even if it is historically accurate, that is a lot of attempted rapes. Sigh. 

Last Girl

So yesterday was the last day of filming on “Lost Girl.” The. Last. Day. I can’t really wrap my head around this although I knew it was going to happen and had accepted its inevitability. Still, the finality of losing this show is only now just setting in.

I think it was the tweets of the show’s stars that made it finally real:

Last day....wow...what a journey #LostGirl

— Anna Silk (@Anna_Silk) October 1, 2014

Here we are on our very last day...Seems like only yesterday I uttered, "My God You're Beautiful" to @Anna_Silk My heart w @lostgirlseries

— Zoie palmer (@ZoiePalmer) October 1, 2014

For those of us who have watched all these years, this is a bittersweet moment. It’s sweet, because the cast and crew were given the respect to go out with a proper final season. But it’s also bitter because these stories could have go on for so much longer.

It really doesn’t seem all that long ago that a reserved human doctor found herself lost in the beauty of a mysterious succubus patient. It was in that moment where Lauren let her fingertips linger seconds too long and too far along the epic curves of Bo’s back that I knew I was a goner.

Has it been perfect? No, of course not. There have been missteps and misfires and missed opportunities. But what it has done during its time on the air is worth recognizing because of its singularity. This is the first show (broadcast or cable) to air in the U.S. that features a bisexual female character as its central character. Not as part of a main ensemble, not as a secondary character, not as a sidekick, not as a plot device – as the lead. Bo is the Lost Girl. And this is Bo’s show.

That alone would make the show special, but that it has never tiptoed around (or even made a big deal of) Bo’s sexuality is extraordinary on its own. Bo is bisexual and thus has relationships and sex with women and men. How could she not? She’s a succubus: it’s kind of her raison d’être. In representing those relationships (and hookups) the show has never flinched or flailed. Sure, we may not agree with which team she picks at any given moment (Team Doccubus 4 Lyfe, yo). But they were all there out in the open for us to love or hate, come what may.

I wish more people had found Lost Girl during its run. Granted, it’s not for everyone. But it’s good, really good, fun. This show deserves more credit than it has received, and more of a following. But those who are tuned in are fiercely loyal for a reason. I am going to miss the hell out of this crazy little show.

Lost Girl is (almost) over. Long live Lost Girl.

Not Batty

Be honest, kittens. What do you think of “Gotham” so far? Only two episodes into the new series, I’m not sure it’s entirely fair to make a snap judgment yet. Because there’s a lot I like about this new Batman prequel. The tone and style are both slick and familiar. This feels like the guy in the batsuit’s universe, even if he isn’t big enough to fit in those britches just yet. I decided to tune in for a couple of reasons. One, comic universes can be fun; and two, Det. Renee Montoya.

If you haven’t watched (or aren’t familiar with the Batverse) the set-up is still pretty simple. The city of Gotham is terribly corrupt. The mobsters have the cops in their pocket. Bruce Wayne watched his parents get killed in an alley and rookie Det. Jim Gordon vows to solve their murders. And Major Crime Unit Det. Montoya is a big old lesbian who used to date Jim Gordon’s fiancée. There, all caught up.

The trick of Gotham is to introduce a constellation of characters – The Penguin, The Riddler, Catwoman – before they became their famous monikers. Right now we’re paying a lot of attention to one Oswald Cobblepot, before he took to wearing top hats and monocle, and crime boss Paddy Doyle Carmine Falcone. We’re also getting a lot of bad ass bitch from one Fish Mooney. If you’re a D.C. Comics loyalist and like, Fish who?, you are not alone. This baddie was made up for the series and to give Jada Pinkett Smith gainful employment so she could try out a somewhat perplexing new speech pattern. Like, is it an accent, I really can’t figure it out. But, whatever, she looks great.

They’ve already set up a bit of a love triangle between Jim, his fiancée Barbara and Renee. I’d say it’s a step forward to have a lesbian character vying for the affection of the male lead’s girl. But it’s also one of those no-win situations. Here’s hoping they let Renee move on quickly and find an actually available love interest in the not-so distant future.

The show seems to be trying to straddle the line between camp and grittiness, which is to say it’s like they put Adam West and Chris Nolan in a blender and hit puree. It’s not fully one or the other right now, and imperfectly so. It is tending more toward the dark and throat slashy so far, with only a dash of the absurd. There is also a lot of yelling, from everyone. But time often helps smooth out these tonal problems.

Really, the main problem I have with “Gotham” so far is Jim Gordon himself. I understand that the entire premise is how a good man stays good in an evil world. But, damn, is he boring. I don’t think Ben Mckenzie is a bad actor, but so far he is doing a swell impersonation of a brick in a suit. But it’s not really his fault, because so far the only characteristic given to him is “Righteousness.” Snoozeville.

So, what do you think? All I know is they better give Det. Montoya more to do than look around skeptically and pine away for her ex-girlfriend. I mean, granted, it’s a fairly accurate representation of some favorite lesbian activities, but still.