Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Shit just got real

This is the story (true story!) of six lesbians picked by Mama Chaiken to live in Los Angeles and have their lives taped to find out what happens when lesbians stop being polite and start getting real: “The Real L Word: Los Angeles.”

Sounds like a joke; really, really isn’t. Ilene Chaiken is back, like the unkillable creature from every horror movie you can’t believe you’re still watching at 1 a.m., with a new series for Showtime. Ilene has signed a nine-episode deal with her former employer to bring back “The L Word,” sort of. This time it will be a reality series following six real, live lesbians around Los Angeles.

Oh, fucking hell, where do I begin? No, seriously, WHERE? First, “The Real L Word?” That’s its real title? How unspeakably lame. They couldn’t even come up with a new name? Look, we already have “The Real World,” “The Real Housewives” and even the really silly lesbian reality series “Gimme Sugar.” So how is this in any way original? This is groundbreaking television? And what makes it truly diabolical is that it’s called “The Real L Word: Los Angeles,” which means Mama C clearly thinks of it as a continuing series. I can see it limping along just like the real “The Real World” with “TRLW: New York,” “TRLW: San Francisco,” “TRLW: Cancun.” For all I know, Mama C is really thinking big and already plotting for “TRLW: Mars.” Which is also, coincidentally, where I would love to send her.

Oh kittens, this is just so, well, sad. As much as I desperately want and think we rightfully deserve more and better representation of gay women in the media, I sincerely doubt this is the way to get there. While in theory reality shows can be used to illuminate the human condition, in reality they have exploited our more salacious side. It’s all about hair pulling and hot tubs, hookups and hangovers. Could a reality series about the real lives of lesbians be a good thing? Sure. Do I trust Chaiken to take a thoughtful, real look at lesbian lives? Um, you saw the finale, right?

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

Chaiken is a pest. Soon she'll want to take over the globe with constant screenings of any 'L' she can get ahold of and create, and every stage to be filled with dramatisations of said 'L', and then it'll be billboards, and black-outs, and big issue hand-outs, and everyone will be clones of Chaiken. She's making a scary world; a monster.

eletta said...

Well, I think this is not good. I think Mama C is only trying to find a way to earn money and a show like that won't help us. In general reality shows are terrible for all kind of peaple and for gays that are not totally accepted and understood this won't surely be a good thing. Realities always show the worts part of the human being and we don't desrve it, we need to be showed how we are, normal people living their lives as the others do. I think Mama C had to end better her show, I think she'll pay the mistake wiht her next works.

Anonymous said...

yeah,
it was done.

i saw the shane poster on street
she's gonna start new drama.

Anonymous said...

Well "shit", is the operative word. This women is intent on embarrassing and demeaning every lesbian, bi and trans on the planet.

Like she hasn't done enough damage already. She wants to tell stories; Christ - thank goodness its on Showtime, dropped it, won't renew, wouldn't give a "shit", except for the damage...

Vikki said...

Just no. I have other things to say about The Real L Word but none fit to print.

Pagash said...

Now I completely understand that IC is under no obligation to educate the world about equality and acceptance, but as an out and proud lesbian, does she really have to continue to represent the lesbian community as such a circus.

Tina-cious.com said...

Oh bloody hell.

And in LA no less. I'm sure not a one of THEM will look anything like me either.

Big Shamu said...

Sigh.

Reverend Jane Ignatowski said...

It really is a puzzlement how Chaiken, who seems to have never made the acquaintance of either a decent plot line or another lesbian whom she actually likes, is apparently going to spend the rest of her days skinny-dipping with hotties in a vast ocean of cable show money. I don't know about the rest of y'all but I smell some kind of sulphur deal/sacrificial altar in there somewhere.

LiveLetLive said...

Hey come on now, we need more lesbian visibility! Lets give this a chance. This could end up being a really interesting, real show. Yeah, the name sucks & is really unoriginal, but that could even change before it airs. Many of us hated the L Word's last season, clearly, but this show could be even better...Lets give it a chance!

Malinda Lo said...

I am scared of how this will turn out. But I know that people will watch it; it's a no-brainer in this era of Real Housewives spinoffs. And I am extremely curious as to which LA lesbian actors Ilene Chaiken will convince to star in this show.

EXTREMELY CURIOUS. ;)

Anonymous said...

Oh dear, enough already!

LMAO, The Real L Word: Mars... we gotta see this with Chaiken as the only star! or make it falling star!

Shasta said...

Well, ugh that Chaiken is involved. but I have to say I saw a glimmer of hope that Magical Elves are involved. They're brilliant! Mind you, a lot of that brilliance is highlighting the hypocrisy or stupidity of reality show folks. Which.... uh oh.

elliB said...

Someone needs to make IFC go away... far, far away. But maybe we can have some fun while she's still around?:

http://www.autostraddle.com/showtime-greenlights-the-real-l-word-los-angeles-and-ilene-chaikens-in-charge/

Anonymous said...

Since when does Chaiken own being a lesbian? TLW had some of the most unrealistic and unrelatable bizarro lesbian characters known to womankind.

Oh, FUCK OFF,ILENE!!

Why? Why? Why give this bobblehead another show to smear lesbians with? Fuck.

Peaches said...

Nothing good is coming from this. Just another way to make every lesbian, bi and trans woman out there look absolutely crazy.

Also, do we really have to go back to LA if we absolutely have to have an L Word reality show? Great, more gorgeous women who look nothing like the people I know in real life and don't work but somehow have gabillions of dollars to spend on trendy clothes, clubs and restaurants. Just what I want to watch. It was one thing as a fictional tv show. I don't need a "reality" show. That just makes it worse.

perfectflaw75 said...

Just another tv show I won't be watching.

alphafemme said...

I agree with Peaches. just, UGH! UGH!!!!!! Horrible, horrible idea.

Norma Desmond said...

So absurdly ridiculous. Mostly because you the women on the show will probably be shadows of the characters on the L Word, somehow, just so she can go, "See! My vision was TOTALLY accurate!" I wish she would take the hint and leave my TV alone.

Tipsy said...

I just hope no one dies.

dc said...

Hmm...will somone be killed off? Like, maybe Chaiken?

Barbara said...

"I just hope no one dies"
ROFLMAO

Actually I like the idea. Come on, Ilene! I am giving her another chance.

jennifer from pittsburgh said...

Anonymous said it best, and first, with: Chaiken is a pest. I'm shocked that SHO bought into this lame excuse of a show, and I wonder exactly what lesbians will want to be a part of this miasma of doom.
BTW, DS, loved the 'unkillable creature' analogy :D Guess that would make this 'new' show Spawn of Chaiken 3.0

Anonymous said...

I can't believe IC is back. i mean who likes her? and how does she have any power in Hollywood to keep working? Season 5 was truly bad but the whole show was so poorly written and the characters were so one-dimensional-- you could see the plot devices coming from miles away. i always thought that it was the lesbian reaction to Jenny, and that since this was her own story, and how we thought Jenny was so stupid-- the words on the screen, the sex at the aquarium-- that she spent the rest of the show getting us back for dissing her. but now real lesbians from LA? well, i must say, i will watch, but i fear it will be not with excitement but to see how much worse she can get.

carmen said...

I'm not buying what she's selling.

Fannie said...

Oh joy, another series about lesbians in LA.

Sorry, but after Gimme Sugar, I'm craving something a little less... empty.

I sincerely hope IC can deliver, but it would be nice to see representations of ourselves move beyond Southern California.

junkyard said...

This is totally going to end up as bad softcore porn.....oh the horror.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you, LiveLetLive!

aardvark said...

So much fail!!
Why does she never know when to quit when she's ahead?
Or at least less behind than she will be when this awful awful show comes out...

Needless to say, I'll probably watch it, but I won't enjoy it.

Anonymous said...

Oh Lord help us! If IC knows as much about real lesbians as she knows about writing crap scripts about fack lesbians we are in for a disgraceful wasteful nonsense bullshit show.

I agree with this"does she really have to continue to represent the lesbian community as such a circus."

Dallila said...

"Oh, fucking hell, where do I begin?"
- so damn funny, I love you Dorothy and I will NOT be watching this show.

Anonymous said...

I'm 46 years old and I've seen the portrayal of women in the media go seriously downhill. We haven't come a long way, baby.

Anonymous said...

can't we just give her back to the breeders? nothing she spouts comes close to telling "our stories". she's all about the $$$ at our expense. fuck off, IFC.

Anonymous said...

So many levels of eww.

What kind of people want to be on reality shows? Balanced, stable, contented people? Oh no. No, no, no. So we're going to get an extremely skewed IC whacked out version of a "peek inside the lives of real lesbians in LA?" Yeah, no. Not at all. Ugh. I can already hear the questions from my straight friends. "Is that true? Do you think/do/feel that too?"

IC should be beamed back to Planet Crazy, ASAP.

Anonymous said...

Let's face it, this new "reality" program is intended for the 18-35 year-old male because it will feature young women in sexual situations (soft porn on cable). The program will have nothing to do with portraying lesbians (or women in general) in a positive way. This just disgusts me.