Cate The Flirt

Cate Blanchett will likely receive her eight Academy Award nomination later this morning. Which is great for us because that means more Cate Blanchett at award shows. Sure, she skipped the Golden Globes. But she appeared to have an absolute blast at the recent Critics Choice Awards flirting with every gorgeous woman there. Think I’m kidding? I certainly am not.

Here’s Cate cozying up to Michelle Yeoh, which, I mean always shoot your shot.

Here’s Cate auditioning to play Jennifer Coolidge’s long-lost younger sister who now together must solve the mystery of their biological mother’s disappearance, but in a funny way.

Here’s Cate realizing Julia Garner is way too young for her to be seen with but doing it anyway because of lingering Therese Belivet feelings.

Here’s Cate shooting her shot with Viola Davis at the Palm Springs International Film Awards because this much flirting can’t be contained to one award show.

Here’s Cate marking Jamie Lee Curtis as her property, I’m assuming.

Here’s Jamie Lee responding entirely appropriately to being in the presence of The Blanchett Bounty. Ahem,

In conclusion, may we all channel this woman in the background and be sure to capture every woman Cate flirts with all award season long.

I, for one, cannot wait for the Oscar-caliber flirting to commence.

Music Monday: Choose Sara Edition

Kittens, I’ve been having a tough January. And that’s following an also tough December/November. Packing all those holidays so close together like that is…whew. But I am working on being OK and determined not to sour on marriage and and love and all that other hearts and rainbows shit. So as some exposure therapy here is one of my favorite Sara Bareilles videos. Yes, I know, I’ve been on bit of a Sara Bareilles tear of late. (She is also great in "Girls5Eva," in case I haven't hinted enough that you should watch yet.) She’s just…so good. And this video is so good, and so sweet and so gay. I hope both these couples are still together, but especially the lesbians. Gotta root for the home team. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend (Casting) Crush

More like “Only Meryls in the Building,” amirite? So the delightful little murder show with the most unlikely of cross-generational appeal just got even more appealing by adding none other than Meryl Streep herself. The 21-time Oscar nominee is joining Steve Martin, Martin Short and Selena Gomez and the cast of the most amusing New York murder-mystery series for its third season. I don’t know who she’ll be playing. (Maybe one of Bunny’s long-lost family members? A maid?) But I just know when Meryl straps on the silly we’re all in for a treat. And, last season, this show also gave us queer ladies something to smile about thanks to the addition of real-life Shane/Cara Delevingne and Selena’s character being much more fluid on the Kinsey Scale than previously revealed. So, bring on the Meryl (and Paul Rudd, he’s perfectly lovely too I suppose). Like, this show also has Tina Fey, too. Is there such thing as too much of a good thing? Never! Cate Blanchett for Season 4! Happy weekend, all.

p.s. Still no screener, so enjoy The L this weekend, kittens. I’ll try to have a review next week instead.

Pre-L Interruptus

Well, well, well. Showtime has not posted the screener for the finale (the real finale this time, not the one I made up in my head). And they’ve not posted pictures of the finale yet either. But if they do either today, I will bring you a Pre-L of sorts as soon as I can. Until then, without going into specific spoilers, what do you want to have happen in this the possibly last episode of The L Word? Wedding bells? Lots of shagging? Questionable relationships with exes, real and non-corporeal? Or maybe just Carmen? A gal can dream. Just no waterfalls and no pools perhaps.

Wild At Heart

Oh shit, it’s almost time to go back to the wilderness. The first trailer for the second season of “Yellowjackets” gives us little answers, and lots of split-second what the hell was that instead. I tried pausing, but I don’t see any shots of Adult Van/Lauren Ambrose (though teen Van and her miraculously healed scar is visible a couple times). So, will we finally find out more about the Forest Cult, and who exactly they ate? Well, I for one can’t wait to chow down on another season.

Tank Top Tuesday: Ally Edition

Already liked Dave B…now I will take a bullet for him. Not really, he seems like he could take the bullet but still pic.twitter.com/7PawpoaL08

— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) January 5, 2023

So, obviously, I don’t feature the fellas that much on Surrenders for obvious lesbian reasons. But when a good guy comes along who happens to be wearing a tank top (I mean it is Tuesday) while talking lovingly about his lesbian mom? Well, I think we all know where this is going. Plus, the bi/pan readers of Ye Olde Blogge also need some content. So, please enjoy some Dave Bautista, an actor I’ve liked generally but now will like loyally, talking about covering up his Manny Pacquiao tattoo because the boxing legend turned out to be an enormous homophobe, among other things. So good on Dave, his lesbian mom and beefy dude lovers in general. Now that’s what I call a real ally. And, I can guarantee you, our ally can beat up your homophobe no problem.

Music Monday: Sara & Brandi Edition

I’ve wanted to go to Brandi Carlile’s annual Girls Just Wanna Weekend event since she started them back in 2018. I made it a goal last year to get tickets to the music festival at some point in the near future. The all-inclusive Mexican getaways always seemed like a more music-oriented, less party hardy Dinah Shore. But their hefty price tag and now lack of a dedicated traveling companion have put a pause on those plans for now. But at least we can enjoy this year’s fruits from afar, like this duet between Brandi and Sara Bareillis on her beautiful “She Used to be Mine.” This song stirs up such fierce emotions each time I hear it, and in Sara and Brandi’s hands it’s nothing short of a masterpiece. I listened to it half a dozen times in a row, which let me warn you in advance will eventually make you sob in your living room. Or maybe just me. Life is what happens when we’re making other plans. But, no matter how late, there’s still time to rewrite an ending or two for all of us. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

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Obviously, I’ve always loved Kate Winslet. But now that we’re both entering the later stages of our forties, I somehow love her even more. As you all unfortunately know, I’ve had some major life bullshit happen in the past year. But I’m trying my best not to feel defeated. Because Kate is right. There’s a power in the IDGAFness of your later 40s. And I’m doing all I can to embrace it, this year, just like Kate. Happy weekend, all

Pre-L: Quiet Before the Storm (S3E9)

Well, seems this show about a letter has learned its lesson from Dana and will no longer kill off even moderately liked characters. (No comment on Jenny Schecter.) So Rosie O’Donnell isn’t dead, not on screen or in real life, and last week wasn’t the finale, not on screen or in real life. Apologies again for last week’s confusion, I blame it on post-holiday malaise and/or generalized life bullshit. This week’s episode starts with an unmistakable troll, showing us a hospital corridor and giving us all a tad of PTSD in the process. I see what you did there, show. Thank the Sapphic gods they didn’t play “You Are My Sunshine” over the scene, too. But there’s still one episode after this, so no non-death kudos just yet. But at least Bette & Tina are alive and well.

As always, MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD. BIG. HUUUGE. So if you don’t want to know, don’t scroll. But you know you want to know. That’s why you’re here.

1. Honestly, I would watch a whole show about a middle-aged lesbian couple that takes in a stray gay youth who then becomes their House Boi. Seriously, get on that whatever streamer won’t cancel shows with lesbian content after one season.

2. Me, when I’m eating my healthy New Year’s resolution meals.

3. TiBette Supermoms is also a show I’d watch, like “The Fosters” but less about the annoying teenagers.

4. I get it, Shane. I also bought a pinky ring over the holidays thinking it would fix my whole life.

5. Alice remains a relatable queen, showing friends 200 photos of her cat with no plans of ever stopping.

6. Isn’t it crazy it took this many seasons to get a couple where both women had haircuts like this?

7. Ugh, can we just skip through the Alice being canceled storyline? After Lydia Tar, is there really anything left to say on the matter?

8. Modern queer relationships are 90% just sending each other TikToks, often while in the same room together snuggling.

9. Fine, Bisexual Evel Knievel is also a show I’d watch. Look, I’d watch a lot of shows.

10. First the candy in her purse. Then these glasses. Is Bette entering her Meemaw Era?

11. Classic Alice hijinks is classic.

12. Oh, Angie. Baby girl. No, baby girl. No.

13. Lesbian couples in their PJs binging “Grey’s Anatomy” is the representation we need and deserve.

14. End of game.

15. Oh, Tess. Baby girl. Also, sadly, no.

16. I mean, we all knew this was going to happen. Luckily we still love a woman in a uniform.

Scrap Cap:

I mean, there were literal and figurative fireworks, so how could I not?

Return to Golden Hour

So, yeah, the Golden Globes were on a random Tuesday and it felt weird watching them because, well, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association sucks and we all know that. But, well, I love a glitzy event and I REALLY love Everything Everywhere All At Once (duh). And, you know, it’s always fun to see TV People hobnob with Movie People – though the biggest groan-inducing repeat gag (literally and figuratively) of the night everyone saying “Hi!” to Brad Pitt. Honestly, if they’d just let Jennifer Coolidge fill the three and a half hours with her kooky stories while handing out the awards to all the POC who deserve it I would have been just as happy with the telecast.

Admittedly, because they had to, the HFPA did considerably better this year with inclusion both on stage, behind the scenes and among its winners. And, it was pretty gay, too. From host Jerrod Carmichael to Jennifer Coolidge stealing the show, twice. All of the excellence from winners like Quinta Brunson and Michelle Yeoh and Angela Bassett is a reminder that while talent is everywhere, opportunity is not. When we allow the two to come together, everyone – especially the viewer –benefits.

Because this was a somewhat more muted affair (because of its literal cancelation last year), there wasn’t much SGALGG. So here are just some of the most memorable bits – in no particular order because the show was three and a half hours long. That’s a lot to remember.

This is the start of the best later-in-life coming out lesbian rom-com in history.

This whole cast makes me smile and also – smash. Respectfully, because they’re educators, but definitely smash. (What? Like you don't have a thing for teachers, too.)

I’m mainly happy for the success of “House of the Dragon” because it means Emma D’Arcy can show up at award shows dressed like this.

This whole cast makes me smile, and also – smash. Sorry, not you Ke Huy Quan – but your Short Round was one of the first Asian character I saw I saw on screen growing up. So thank you for that.

Meg Stalter and Hannah Einbinder together is like seeing the members of a high school gay-straight alliance grow up and do well for themselves.

Angela Bassett and Rihanna together, I don’t have anything clever to say that’s just like seeing royalty or something (but not real royalty, because those Windsors as kinda the worst).

It’s still so perplexing to me that Natasha Lyonne isn’t gay. Like, still!

Niecy Nash and her wife Jessica Betts are always one of the very best dressed couples on the red carpet. Period.

Oh, Lydia Tar won. But didn’t attend. So in case you forgot what she looks like, here’s a current picture of Cate Blanchett. You’re welcome.

Another Poker Face

Look, I’m as continually perplexed as anyone that Natasha Lyonne is and remains straight. But she also remains one of the most entertaining actresses around, and her new series “Poker Face” looks all kinds of fun. Essentially a crime-of-the-week series from “Glass Onion’s” Rian Johnson, it following a drifter played by Natasha who is essentially a human lie detector. Add in actual lesbians Cherry Jones and Clea DuVall (the latter isn’t in the trailer – at least that I could see – but is in the credits) and the rest of the next-level supporting cast including in no particular order Judith Light, Ellen Barkin and Stephanie “Jobu Tupaki” Hsu you know that sounds entertaining. So bring on the chaos and lies. See, I told you, Peacock has some good shows. No lying.

Music Monday: Miley & Dolly Edition

I know all the queer girlies are still squeeing over that Miley/Fletcher big gay collab during NYE. And while it was certainly hella gay and hella fabulous, my favorite performance from that night was Miley Cyrus and Dolly Parton together. Their duet on a medley of “Wrecking Ball” and “I Will Always Love You” was a powerful reminder that art has no age limit. Go forth and create beautiful things this year. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

I will strive to emulate the proudly feral energy of the women of 80s punk rock in the new year. So please enjoy Chrissie Hynde, Debbie Harry, Viv Albertine, Siouxsie Sioux, Poly Styrene and Pauline Black setting the perfect IDGAF/Smash The Patriarchy vibe since before Mick Jagger’s current girlfriend was even born. (Sadly, not hyperbole.) Anyway, 2022? I don’t even know her. Happy weekend and first week of 2023, kittens.

Pre-L: “Quality Family Time” (S5E8)

So “The L Word: Generation Q” ends continues their third season with a “Q” word. And true to that form this season has felt like a transition, with the series leaning heavily on its next generation as the original cast faded more into the background – or completely off screen in many cases. The count of original cast members dwindled, so much so that we we’re only looking Very Shane Today in the season finale. But they also gave fitting conclusions to some of the Ghosts of L Word Past, including making amends for the Max debacle and Dana decision and last, but definitely not least, for making Tibette Endgame. Along the way, this show has managed to show a glorious spectrum of queer families – from those who raised us (for better or for worse) to our chosen families to the families we create out of nothing but our love and determination. Has it all been glorious? No, but I’m still thankful there’s space for a show that focuses entirely on our lives, even when it’s frustrating or dissapointing or batshit crazy. So, will we get another season of the women who long, love, lust? Good question, another one of those Q words.

1. Youths and their extreme scissoring.

2. Is this oat milk? It better be oat milk.

3. Gigi who? Kidding, but seriously, is she no longer on the show?

4. Does Lesiha get paid for this episode just for being on the phone?

5. I counted three edibles, so that turkey is gonna hit different.

6. I always thought Mary McCormack’s character from “In Plain Sight” should have been a lesbian. Now she’s a lesbian’s mom.

7. Oh no, not another throuple. (Kidding, they’d never invite that turkey…I’ll see myself out.)

8. Dani’s Thanksgiving plans win. No contest.

9. I still think it’s not a great idea to work at a bar as a recovering alcoholic, but at least Fin is dressing better.

10. They were just told if they get renewed for a fourth season it’ll be a murder mystery and one of them will end up dead in a pool.

11. Lesbian exes making bad decisions in real time.

11. As I was saying.

12. I wonder if they played musical chairs to see whose storyline would end in a cliffhanger. Well, at least it didn’t involve a pool, yet.

EDIT: Well, I don’t know why I thought this season had 8 episodes, but enjoy the cliffhanger anyway, sapphics.

Women Wondering

Well, here’s some bullshit. No more Wonder Women movies. Yes, we still have to endure that Flash movie from that actor who can’t stop getting arrested and harassing, um, everyone. But the world’s greatest female superhero, Gal Gadot and Patty Jenkins? They get unceremoniously dumped because, well, it’s hard to say what the fuck DC/Warner/HBO is doing right now. Look, I loved the first movie and I was greatly disappointed by the second movie. But in my lifetime I’ve also sat through no less than 11 Batman movies. Eight Spider-Man movies. Six Superman movies. And about a bazillion X-Men movies. Yet we get only two shots at Wonder Woman? It’s a wonder why women don’t get as many chances. Real mystery. Plus still owe us that Amazons on Themyscira origin story, let alone more Wonder Women. More super women stories in 2023 and beyond, not less please universe.

Get in the Van

Can I call dibs on a fictional character before they even make their on screen debut? Because DIBS ON ADULT VAN. Dibs, dibs, DIBS. I was worried the show was going to turn her into one of the Wilderness Cult people. But these preview images, the first of Lauren Ambrose fully inhabiting adult Van, have put every last one of those worries at ease. Also, you are welcome for the most excellent casting suggestion, Showtime. Anyway, clearly Adult Van is no mystical forest cult member.

Instead, she’s a GEEK! A GEEK! I mean, what else could the robots and the VHS tapes mean but geekery? So, there you go, one very good thing to look forward to in 2023. Also, just to make things perfectly clear, I have called dibs.

p.s. Um, who was Van’s wilderness plastic surgeon? Because those scars look amazing. Like now all the lesbians will want to be attacked by bears to look extra rugged and hot.

Music Monday: Indigo Girls Forever

Let’s start this new year with some nostalgia and the closest thing we have to a true Lesbian Anthem. While “Closer to Fine” may be celebrating its 36th anniversary this year, it still remains as clarion call to find your own truth whatever your age. And, also, a reminder that it’s only life, after all. Happy Monday and 2023, kittens.