Gender Fuck Thursday: Freeheld Edition

So earlier this week, news broke that a Catholic High School in New York refused to grant permission for Ellen Page and Julianne Moore’s new movie “Freeheld” to film on its campus. In case you were wondering, yes, it was refused because of The Gay. Yes, in 2014 when 32 states (and counting) have granted gays and lesbians the right to marry, l this kind of shit still happens. They’re a religious institution and it’s sadly their prerogative to discriminate. But how utterly ridiculous that they would want to in the first place.

Ellen felt the same way, tweeting:

Using religion to justify bigotry makes me sad. Sending my support 2 the LGBT students at the school who I hope r able 2 find acceptance.

— Ellen Page (@EllenPage) October 21, 2014

And, yes, the irony that a movie about fighting institutional discrimination should face institutional discrimination while getting made is not lost on anyone.

In much better news about “Freeheld,” film production is moving right along according to Ellen and Julianne’s Twitter feeds. There is a scene in shorts and a scene in ice skates. And hopefully lots and lots of scenes in suits. The hoodies are pretty cute, too.



I really can’t fully articulate how excited I am for this film. Not only is the cast top-notch, the cast is also fully supportive of what the film and the women’s its lives portray stood for. Equality, justice, love. And this blatant bigotry from the school is a reminder of everything Laurel and Stacie’s lives can still teach us. Don’t stop fighting for what’s right. Because, eventually, we’ll win.

Face Time

I do not have a problem with Renee Zellweger’s face. I have never had a problem with Renee Zellweger’s face. And I do not anticipate having a problem with Renee Zellweger’s face in the future. This is because Renee Zellweger’s face has never done anything to me personally, as a human being. I expect it to stay that way baring a chance encounter where we’re both bending down to pick up a package and her face smacks into my face, we laugh about it, decide to have a coffee to continue laughing and then become BFFs who laugh together to the irritation of all those around us over the in-joke of our faces smashing into each other that one fateful day. Otherwise, Renee Zellweger’s face and I have no relationship whatsoever.

But yesterday the entire fucking Internet couldn’t stop talking about its deep personal relationship with Renee Zellweger’s face. That’s the only reason I can think for all the fussing and worrying and tittering and squawking about Renee Zellweger’s face. Everyone on The Internet must know it personally and therefore it’s state of being is an integral part of everyone’s life. Otherwise, it would just be silly to monitor and scrutinize and compare and hypothesize so much about Renee Zellweger’s face.

Women in general and women in Hollywood in particular have become so accustomed to the world’s scrutiny of our faces, our bodies, our lives that we hardly think it unusual. Of course people are noticing and judging and clucking behind our backs. Of course. Nothing unusual about that. But you know what, it is unusual. It’s downright peculiar. What does it matter to you or me or the Shih Tzu that lives next door that something may or may not look a little different about Renee Zellweger’s face? How do whatever procedures that may or may not have been done to Renee Zellweger’s face impact my day-to-day life? Has it made me late for the bus? Did it make me bounce the rent check? Will it make me nachos for dinner? Nope, nope and – dammit – nope.

So what that Renee Zellweger’s face looks a little different. It’s her face. We’ve become so conditioned to judge ourselves and each other that we barely notice how unbearable that spot between the rock and the hard place we are wedged has become. We’re damned if we do (OMG, look at her face – pre-surgery), and damned if we don’t (OMG, look at her face – post-surgery). Now, I’m no fan of cosmetic procedures. I wish we lived in a society where we all felt comfortable enough in our own skin to just leave ourselves be. But I certainly don’t feel we should heap scorn on those who feel differently. Our perception of our beauty is so wrapped up in the cultural perception of our beauty that too often there is no distinction.

Which brings me back to Renee Zellweger’s face. Like I said, I have no problem with Renee Zellweger’s face. But I have a lot of problems with how we’ve all reacted to Renee Zellweger’s face.

Tank Top Tuesday

Each time I post a Tank Top Tuesday I struggle to find a theme. The universal theme is hotness, because ladies in tank tops are hot. Duh. But specificity is also important. So if the family is hot, then the genus is brunettes. Sorry blondes, sometimes we’re the ones having more fun. But wait, there’s more. If the kingdom is hot and the genus is brunettes, the species would be tasteful black and whites. Hey, I didn’t make the hierarchy of biological classification, I just put things into their place. Or that was a really long-winded excuse to post Shay Mitchell in her tank top on the beach. And all these other hot, brunettes in black and white. Just keeping it orderly.

Emmanuelle Vaugier

I continue to feel inconsolable about the end of “Lost Girl,” and it hasn’t even started yet.

Angie Harmon

I am considerably less bereft about the cliffhanger on “Rizzoli & Isles.” It’s not like they are going to rename the show “Isles & Her Wikipedia-Like Memory.“

Julia Ormond

Apparently she’s on some Lifetime show about witches. I haven’t watched and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.

Hettienne Park

She is definitely on that show about the cannibalistic serial killer. I haven’t watched that either, but only because I can’t spare the nightmares.

Kristin Scott Thomas

Remember when she said she was a lesbian once in college? That’s back when we all still thought Hugh Grant was charming.

Juliette Binoche

I fear I’m probably getting my hopes up too much about her lesbianing together with K-Stew in “Clouds of Sils Maria.” But a gal can dream.

Jada Pinkett Smith

I still don’t understand her speech pattern on “Gotham,” but I do appreciate her swagger. The lady brings her own bat.

Must Kill TV

With all due disrespect (see what I did there, eh eh?) to pimps, it’s hard out there for a lesbian/bisexual character. This has been a brutal year for queer females on television. Tara Thornton. Leslie Shay. Sara Lance. Dead. Dead. Deadity dead.

Things are so dire that I only half jokingly called a future bride-to-be in a coma a slightly positive representation for queer female characters. Yes, really.

So, what’s up? Why do we keep getting offed? Granted, it’s not that lesbian characters are the only ones getting axed. But with the continued underrepresentation (and decline) of queer female characters on TV (we went from 43 percent of all the queer characters on TV to 40 percent in the last year), each loss matters even more.

The most galling thing about these deaths is not necessarily that they happened, but why they happened. In almost every instance the death was declared a motivating factor for another character or characters. True Blood executive producer Angela Robinson said, “We need to kill someone to show that the stakes are really high going into the last season.” The Chicago Fire executive producer said they chose Shay because she “affected the most people.” And an Arrow executive producer said Sara was picked because “it buys us a lot of story.”

In essence, these queer characters’ lives were less important than what these queer characters’ deaths means to the plot. We’re disposable, plot devices, motivations for the characters who really matter.

Look, I don’t doubt that these TV producers earnestly felt the deaths were necessary. But by not taking in account the added import of every queer character on television they did us all a disservice. Does this mean you can never kill off your LGBT characters? Of course not, you kill whichever characters you want, you heartless TV dream killing bastards – I mean, writers. But think, really think, if there’s another way to make the same point that lets a gay character live on and become a fully realized part of your show instead. In other words, try harder. We’re people, not plot points.

p.s. Also, yo The Good Wife writers, don’t be getting any funny ideas about killing off Kalinda now that Archie Panjabi is leaving the show. I mean it, no funny business.

My Weekend Crush

This is EXACTLY how I would react if I met Hillary Clinton. So thank you, little 10-year-old Macy Friday, for being the Hillary fangirl inside all of us. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Putting on the Ritz

I’ve got spirit, yes I do. I’ve got spirit, how about you? So she isn’t wearing purple for Spirit Day, but just this once I think you’ll probably forgive me. Please enjoy Glenn Glose on the cover of The Hollywood Reporter. Really soak her in. I find staring at her in this most outstanding of tuxedos makes the universe feel like a better place. If only just a little. Also, did you know Glenn grew up in a crazy cult as a kid? Neither did I!



She really cuts a dashing figure, that lady. So, fine, it is not in purple. But it is a Thursday, after all. So the theme still holds for me.

All Wet

You guys, I have been barely keeping my head above water with work and life and blog and such this month. I know, I know, everyone is swamped. Life is the definition of busy. I ask that you please excuse this paltry excuse for a post today in the name of the general beleaguered and overworked state of humanity. Also, it is a pretty lady getting dunked in water (and for a good cause). So, you know, still not too shabby.

p.s. I love how Ellen pretends to not want to dunk her wife, but then is not-so secretly gleeful once Portia goes down. Don’t worry, she saves it by being sweet and apologetic. Or is that her “Please still sleep with me tonight” face?

On Thursday We Wear Purple

Hey, Oct. 16 (Thursday, I think that’s Thursday) is Spirit Day. And a couple of the ladies from Orange Is the New Black have lent their support for the Spirit Day spirit. So while they normally wear orange, on Thursday they will wear purple. Which is really sweet.

Also, did you know almost every single OITNB actors has been on Law & Order? Autostraddle did an epic post finding all of their on screen L&O moments. And Vulture followed up with clips. See, now this was why The Series of Tubes was made. To give us this kind of masterclip joy. Cue chung-chung sound.

Howdy, Partner

Straight girls, amirite? It’s a tale as old as time, tune as old as song, beauty and the ultimately unattainable straight girl. I’ve been hearing a lot of good rumblings about “Life Partners” since Cannes this spring. The story of two co-dependent female friends – one gay and one straight played by Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester and Community’s Gillian Jacobs, respectively. But I wasn’t totallyintoitlikeomg until I saw the trailer. And, immediately, it struck that chord of female friendship I think we’ve all had at some point in our lives. That friend you feel certain you can’t live without. Until, for some of us, one day we do. Of course, it becomes especially complicated in a straight girl-lesbian relationship. Can I get an “Amen!” But it’s not just the gay lady, straight lady dynamic that makes me want to see this movie. It’s that really good movies about the complicated, weird and often so incredibly wonderful thing that is female friendships don’t get made that often. At least not ones that don’t use singing into a hairbrush together as shorthand for emotional depth. So sign me me. I’m there. Just don’t break my heart, straight girl. Or gay girl. Really, just be nice to one another. Sorry, am I rambling? I do that sometimes with my female friends. Don’t worry, I know you understand. Right, friend?

My Weekend Crush

For all the innumerable sins Ryan Murphy has committed against television, his one hope for salvation is the gainful employment of Angela Bassett, Kathy Bates and Jessica Lange all in one show. (There’s also Sarah Paulson, but I feel sure she would have been snapped up by someone else smart soon enough.) It’s hard to think of another show that employs so many Oscar-nominated women over the age of 55 in starring and non-grandmotherly roles. Think very hard. Yeah, like I said, it’s hard.

Of those three very, very talented ladies I really, really want Angela Bassett to shine this season. I was, quite frankly, underwhelmed by her role as Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau in “American Horror Story: Coven.” This was, of course, not her fault. The scripts gave her little more to do sometimes than cackle. Oh, but what a magnificent one it was. So now with “American Horror Story: Freak Show,” I hope against hope that Murphy and the powers that be will finally take full advantage of everything this woman can truly do. And, no, I am not referring to her three boobs...necessarily.

Hollywood has had a bit of a hard time deciding what to do with Angela over the years. Her brilliance grabbed you by the scruff of the neck and wouldn’t let go in movies like “Malcolm X,” “What's Love Got to Do with It” and “Waiting to Exhale.” I particularly liked her in badass mode in Kathryn Bigelow’s underrated “Strange Days.” But for every good role, there have been too many forgettable ones. “Mr. 3000,” “Green Lantern,” “Jumping the Broom.” What? Huh? Really? Of course, I don’t blame her for that either.

So now, with AHS: Freak Show, Hollywood has one more chance to do right by her. We know she is capable, but are they? We shall see. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. Just a reminder, this lady is 56 and still goddamn, goddamn.

Gender Fuck Thursday: The Payoff

Remember back in May when Cate Blanchett, Emily Blunt and Zhou Xun were walking and boating around Portofino in the most impeccable tuxedos you’ve ever seen in your whole damn life and your entire body was like, UNF GURGLE FAINT? Remember? Well, the finished images and video from that heaven-send photoshoot have been released, finally.



Yes, yes, it’s for a stupid watch commercial. Yes, yes, I agree Ewan McGregor and Christoph Waltz are a waste of valuable time we could be staring at Cate, Emily and Xun. But, sweet fancy Moses, is that a lot of gorgeous happening. I can’t even decide which pictures I like best.

Like, which Cate is better? This?



Or this?



Which Emily? This?



Or This?



Which Xun? This?



Or this, with bonus Emily?



THERE IS NO WAY TO CHOOSE DON’T MAKE ME, YOU MONSTER.

I’m not even kidding when I say many days I’d rather look at a woman in an impeccably tailored suit than a tiny string bikini. This is one of those days. There’s just so much richness for the eyes to linger on. The mystery and the elegance.

Oh, shut up, idiot. It’s hot. It’s just fucking hot. They look hot. They make you hot. Everything’s hot. In conclusions, to summarize, as I was saying, HOT.



OK, IWC. I will buy all of your dumb watches immediately if each one comes with a Cate, Emily of Xun of our choice – preferably all three. In suits. The suits are non-negotiable. Seriously, keep the watches. Leave the ladies in the suits.



p.s. I made this gif for you because I love you. Ciao, bella.

Mind the Gap

I would have posted this for Sarah Silverman’s unique name for her girls alone. But the message is an important one as well. Granted, I don’t suggest we all get surgically enhanced (unless you want to, or need to, or are one of our trans friends, etc.). Anyway, please enjoy. Also, I’m totally kicking myself for not thinking of that boob name before her.

E.T.A.:

Top 5 Gay Lady Boob Names: 5. Rizzoli & Isles 4. Bette & Tina 3. Cagney & Lacey 2. Thelma & Louise 1. Xena & Gabrielle

— Dorothy Snarker (@dorothysnarker) October 8, 2014

Endgame

OK, OK – FINE! I relent. I relent. I’ll talk about it. It’s HAPPENING. Santana and Brittany are totally getting married*. Yesterday’ Naya Rivera Dorsey (still so not used to that last bit) sent out a tweet heard around the Brittanaverse.

Popping a very important question today at glee! ;-)

— Naya Rivera Dorsey (@NayaRivera) October 6, 2014

*No, I’m not including a spoiler alert because once one of your stars posts it for all the world to see, there’s nothing left to spoil.

Rumors have been swirling for a while now about the pending proposal. The fires had been fanned even more by reunion pics of Santana and Brittany awkwardly pretending they’re still n lesbian with each other puckering up together. Just kidding. They look great! Look, their lips are thisclose to touching. Honest!

I’ve divested myself of my Glee fandom long ago. I can’t even tell you if I watched the last few episodes of the last season because I can’t be bothered to care. It’s all just an epic shrug to me now. So I had heard rumblings of all the final season news – going back to Ohio, Britt and San reunion, etc. etc. But I didn’t follow it closely because, you know, it’s Glee – who the fuck knows what’s actually going to happen.

Does this mean I have to care again? Not really. Will I watch it? Yeah, probably – for the Brittana. While I’m no longer invested in these characters futures, I do feel a sentimental attachment to their pasts. So I rather like the idea of circling back and giving them a proper ending. Endgame, kittens, endgame. So, fine, you got me – one last time. Fate has laid a hand, indeed.

Wedding Bells

And then there were 24. With its decision not to hear pending marriage equality cases in five states, the Supreme Court has cleared the way for us gaymos to get hitched post haste in Indiana, Oklahoma, Utah, Virginia and Wisconsin. Virginia already kicked things off with its Attorney General announcing marriages could begin at 1 p.m. today ET and calling it “a momentous & joyous day for thousands of Virginians.” Hell yeah, Virginia is for lovers. As it stands now, at 24, we’re at the tipping point for nationwide equality. One more state and it will be exactly half of the country.

And, that will happen much sooner rather than later because of the complicated way the circuit courts work. The decision today affects six more states, where same-sex marriage is all but assured to become law: Colorado, Kansas, North Carolina, South Carolina, West Virginia and Wyoming.

And those states, once all the legal wrangling is complete, will bring the number to 30. That’s more than half. That’s an unstoppable trend. That’s the majority. It should be noted that, of course, marriage equality is not the end-all, be-all gauge for full equality for LGBT people in this country. Ironically, in many of the newly or soon-to-be newly legalized states there are no statewide non-discrimination laws. So while you can get married, you can still get fired for being gay. So there is still much work to be done, of course. But for now, let us savor this moment at the precipice. Because very soon, those states that do not allow marriage equality will be in the minority. Yeah, suck on that. Also, damn, America. You are about to get so many more wedding invites.

p.s. It’s all very fluid. But according to the Freedom to Marry live blog, Colorado lifted its stay meaning it is the 25th state to legalize same-sex marriage. Which means HALF. HALF THE COUNTRY. Get on the right side of history boat or get left behind.

My Weekend Crush

I don’t know if you watched “Outlander” like I told you to, but I sure hope you did. Because it was very, very good. Epic. Romantic. Adventurous. Feminist. Sexy. A big part of that has to do with the exquisite Caitriona Balfe. As Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser (whew, that’s a mouthful), she is a heroine to be reckoned with. Instead of being “spunky” like your average cookie-cutter independent TV heroine, Claire is a bit of a crank. She can be foul-mouthed and impatient and calculating. Always she is her own person, and a full-realized person at that. That means both her intellect and her sexuality, which is not glossed over with mood lighting and gentle fades to black. “Outlander” is one of the very rare shows on TV to luxuriate in the female gaze, we feel her lust and it’s fantastic. Granted, big burly Scottish Highlanders aren’t really my thing. But, still, well done, Claire. Well done. And none of this would work if Caitriona wasn’t up for the task. She carries Claire on her elegant shoulders with an air of confidence and capability. Also, heavens, has she been lovely to look at. It’s almost enough just to gaze at her beautiful face until “Outlander” returns in April. Almost. Damn, April is a long time away. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. I agree, there was a bit too much sexual menace for my taste. Like, even if it is historically accurate, that is a lot of attempted rapes. Sigh. 

Last Girl

So yesterday was the last day of filming on “Lost Girl.” The. Last. Day. I can’t really wrap my head around this although I knew it was going to happen and had accepted its inevitability. Still, the finality of losing this show is only now just setting in.

I think it was the tweets of the show’s stars that made it finally real:

Last day....wow...what a journey #LostGirl

— Anna Silk (@Anna_Silk) October 1, 2014

Here we are on our very last day...Seems like only yesterday I uttered, "My God You're Beautiful" to @Anna_Silk My heart w @lostgirlseries

— Zoie palmer (@ZoiePalmer) October 1, 2014

For those of us who have watched all these years, this is a bittersweet moment. It’s sweet, because the cast and crew were given the respect to go out with a proper final season. But it’s also bitter because these stories could have go on for so much longer.

It really doesn’t seem all that long ago that a reserved human doctor found herself lost in the beauty of a mysterious succubus patient. It was in that moment where Lauren let her fingertips linger seconds too long and too far along the epic curves of Bo’s back that I knew I was a goner.

Has it been perfect? No, of course not. There have been missteps and misfires and missed opportunities. But what it has done during its time on the air is worth recognizing because of its singularity. This is the first show (broadcast or cable) to air in the U.S. that features a bisexual female character as its central character. Not as part of a main ensemble, not as a secondary character, not as a sidekick, not as a plot device – as the lead. Bo is the Lost Girl. And this is Bo’s show.

That alone would make the show special, but that it has never tiptoed around (or even made a big deal of) Bo’s sexuality is extraordinary on its own. Bo is bisexual and thus has relationships and sex with women and men. How could she not? She’s a succubus: it’s kind of her raison d’être. In representing those relationships (and hookups) the show has never flinched or flailed. Sure, we may not agree with which team she picks at any given moment (Team Doccubus 4 Lyfe, yo). But they were all there out in the open for us to love or hate, come what may.

I wish more people had found Lost Girl during its run. Granted, it’s not for everyone. But it’s good, really good, fun. This show deserves more credit than it has received, and more of a following. But those who are tuned in are fiercely loyal for a reason. I am going to miss the hell out of this crazy little show.

Lost Girl is (almost) over. Long live Lost Girl.

Not Batty

Be honest, kittens. What do you think of “Gotham” so far? Only two episodes into the new series, I’m not sure it’s entirely fair to make a snap judgment yet. Because there’s a lot I like about this new Batman prequel. The tone and style are both slick and familiar. This feels like the guy in the batsuit’s universe, even if he isn’t big enough to fit in those britches just yet. I decided to tune in for a couple of reasons. One, comic universes can be fun; and two, Det. Renee Montoya.

If you haven’t watched (or aren’t familiar with the Batverse) the set-up is still pretty simple. The city of Gotham is terribly corrupt. The mobsters have the cops in their pocket. Bruce Wayne watched his parents get killed in an alley and rookie Det. Jim Gordon vows to solve their murders. And Major Crime Unit Det. Montoya is a big old lesbian who used to date Jim Gordon’s fiancée. There, all caught up.

The trick of Gotham is to introduce a constellation of characters – The Penguin, The Riddler, Catwoman – before they became their famous monikers. Right now we’re paying a lot of attention to one Oswald Cobblepot, before he took to wearing top hats and monocle, and crime boss Paddy Doyle Carmine Falcone. We’re also getting a lot of bad ass bitch from one Fish Mooney. If you’re a D.C. Comics loyalist and like, Fish who?, you are not alone. This baddie was made up for the series and to give Jada Pinkett Smith gainful employment so she could try out a somewhat perplexing new speech pattern. Like, is it an accent, I really can’t figure it out. But, whatever, she looks great.

They’ve already set up a bit of a love triangle between Jim, his fiancée Barbara and Renee. I’d say it’s a step forward to have a lesbian character vying for the affection of the male lead’s girl. But it’s also one of those no-win situations. Here’s hoping they let Renee move on quickly and find an actually available love interest in the not-so distant future.

The show seems to be trying to straddle the line between camp and grittiness, which is to say it’s like they put Adam West and Chris Nolan in a blender and hit puree. It’s not fully one or the other right now, and imperfectly so. It is tending more toward the dark and throat slashy so far, with only a dash of the absurd. There is also a lot of yelling, from everyone. But time often helps smooth out these tonal problems.

Really, the main problem I have with “Gotham” so far is Jim Gordon himself. I understand that the entire premise is how a good man stays good in an evil world. But, damn, is he boring. I don’t think Ben Mckenzie is a bad actor, but so far he is doing a swell impersonation of a brick in a suit. But it’s not really his fault, because so far the only characteristic given to him is “Righteousness.” Snoozeville.

So, what do you think? All I know is they better give Det. Montoya more to do than look around skeptically and pine away for her ex-girlfriend. I mean, granted, it’s a fairly accurate representation of some favorite lesbian activities, but still.

Vive la Mariska!

Has anyone done this yet? No? Yes? Well, either way, it had to be done. Vive la Mariska! Please enjoy the rest of your Tuesday.

Megan + Graham 4EVA

My heart, my But I’m a Cheerleader heart. Natasha Lyonne and Clea DuVall continue to make me believe Megan and Graham made it. After all these years, it’s fun to dream those two crazy kids are still together and making super cheesy cheers together. But what we do know is Nataha and Clea made it as friend all these years. Late last week, Natasha posted a series of tweets on Clea’s birthday. She has been posting for the last couple weeks about filming “Fresno” with Judy Greer and But I’m a Cheerleader director Jamie Babbit. And then Clea showed up to hang out or possibly be part of the production. Fingers crossed for the latter. Also, they were shooting in a sex shop. Yet still managed to look adorable. Like here. And here. And here. And again here. Yeah, admit it. Your heart skipped a little beat. Siiiiiigh. Go on without me. I’ll just be rewatching But I’m a Cheerleader for the millionth time, +1.

My Weekend Crush

The latest True Detective Season 2 casting rumor is that Rachel McAdams and Taylor Kitsch might be rounding out the cast, joining already announced Colin Farrell and Vince Vaughn. I love me some Regina George, but still – no, thank you. Instead, imagine if Tiny Detective was a reality instead. Finally, a TV series that speaks to me on a deep, personal level as a short woman in America. Actually, I’d watch the hell out of any show with Ellen Page and Kate Mara even if it didn’t so poignantly tackle the vertically challenged. Now, fetch me at step ladder. Happy weekend, all.

Tiny Detectives with Kate Mara and Ellen Page from Kate Mara

I Can See Clearly Now

I’m going to admit something embarrassing. It took me much longer than it should have to get the not-so hidden wordplay within the “Transparent” title. (p.s. It’s “Trans” and “Parent,” in case you’re dense like me. But you’re not. So feel free to laugh.) And now I’m going to admit something else, after watching the “Transparent” trailer about a month ago it took until this last weekend to watch the (totally free) pilot episode on Amazon Instant. Yes, I know. I already said I was dense.

Now that I’ve owned up to my own stupidity, let’s talk about this really smart show. Sure, I’ve only just seen the one episode. But already you can tell this is a sharp, funny and simply lovely new series. I’m pretty sure this is one of my favorite new show of the season, if not several seasons. And, again, I’ve only seen just the one episode.

The series (which is on Amazon which, I know, weird) comes from Jill Soloway whose past work includes “Six Feet Under” and “United States of Tara.” And while Jill isn’t gay, she has a lesbian sister and has featured nuanced lesbian and bisexual storylines in a lot of her work. She shows an effortless understanding of the fluidity inherent in the gender spectrum as well as an innate understanding of the discomfort that can cause to those accustomed to strictly this or that.

What “Transparent” does expertly is invite us into the life of Maura (formerly Mort) as she comes out to her adult children and make us feel like we’ve been casually watching them for ages. They don’t seem like strangers, but people we’ve met and perhaps had brunch with over the years. We understand them instantly in a distant way that recognizes there are edges and dark corners they’ve hidden from you all along. As a pre-transition Mort tells his youngest daughter, “Boy, it is so hard when someone sees something you do not want them to see.”

We could talk at length about the very talented cast: Jeffrey Tambor as transitioning Mort/Maura, Amy Landecker (who is a dead ringer for Amy Brenneman) as rich stay-at-home mom Sarah, Gaby Hoffmann (who is on a streak after being so great in “Girl”) as unfocused youngest daughter Ally and Jay Duplass as music industry hipster Josh (who like to date his clientele, the younger the better). They’re all excellent. And if you haven’t already, make sure you have a mirror ready when you realize butch uber dyke Tammy is Jan from “The Office” actress Melora Hardin. The mirror is to see how far your jaw drops, by the way.

Amazon will release the entire first season on Friday. And already I can’t wait to spend my weekend with these people. Sure, they’re messy and imperfect, selfish and at times unable to see what is so clearly in front of them. But then, aren’t we all.

True Dudebro

Oh look, they’ve cast True Detective Season 2 and its…zzzzzz. Oh, sorry. Dozed off there. Because it was two utterly uninteresting straight white men and I could not muster enough of an iota of interest to stay conscious. Fine, it’s and Colin Farrell and Vince Vaughn…zzzzz. Oops, lapsed into an apathy coma again.

There are only a handful of actors I can think of that I want to watch less in a serious “prestige” drama than Vince Vaughn. Maybe Rob Schneider? Or Justin Bieber? Vince’s screen persona is the physical manifestation of Dudebro Culture, a perpetual manchild whose emotional depth is as complex as a chest bump. But, by all means, cast him in a series that has already been heavily criticized for its machismo and misogyny.

Look, it’s not a crime to cast two white straight men as the leads in a high-profile series. But it’s boring. And it’s another missed opportunity to make the world a little less boring. (For reference, please see yesterday’s post.) But HBO with all its power and prestige, has decided that Colin and Vince are deserving of such a platform. (p.s. Yes, I know there might be one or two other leads cast who may or may not be a person of color or a female person. Or maybe a POC or woman will be the victim because we’ve never, ever seen that happen before on television ever.) I guess what irks me most is how many other actors deserve a chance to be great, but are simply never afforded the opportunity because we’re too busy giving second chances to boring straight white men.

Yawn. In the end, casting news like this reminds me that the echo chamber of pop culture loves to congratulate itself of rewarding the unextraordinary. Give me a “Top of the Lake.” Give me “The Fall.” Hell, give me “Sleepy Hallow” and “Elementary.” Anything that isn’t just an endless array of interchangeable guys. Because, dude, zzzzzzz.

p.s. Ray Velcoro is a terrible name. But no worse than Rust Cohle, so I don’t know why I would expect more.

p.p.s. I would watch the hell out of Bert and Ernie in True Detective Season 2, because we all know they’re not straight.

No Country for Angry Black Women Stereotypes

If you love talking about television like I love talking about television, you probably have heard the furor around The New York Times TV critic Alessandra Stanley’s profile of TV megaproducer Shonda Rhimes that was published online late last week. In short, the article, which was a backhanded way of promoting the new ShondaLand series “How To Get Away With Murder,” became a backhanded slap at all black women. It rightfully made black women – and pretty much any rational thinking person – very angry. Why?

Well, this was the lede:

When Shonda Rhimes writes her autobiography, it should be called “How to Get Away With Being an Angry Black Woman.”

It didn’t get much better from there. She discusses how Rhimes likes to showcase “powerful, intimidating black woman” characters. And how her new series star Viola Davis is “less classically beautiful” than other stars. She explains that ultimately Shonda took Viola’s character (and her other black female characters) and “recast it in her own image.” Though, small problem, Shonda isn’t even the creator or writer of “How to Get Away With Murder.” Ooof.

Nothing like reducing an incredibly talented and prolific television creator and producer to that ugly, old stereotype of the “Angry Black Woman.”

Naturally, there was a lot of deserved outrage about this. Like here. And here. Also here.

So much furor was caused that the NYT Public Editor Margaret Sullivan waded into the fray and took her own rightful slap at Alessandra’s piece saying “it delivered that message in a condescending way that was – at best – astonishingly tone-deaf and out of touch.”

Not to be outdone, Alessandra responded back by proving her tone-deaf, out of touchness by saying in the same post:

“….I so often write arch, provocative ledes that are then undercut or mitigated by the paragraphs that follow.”

Guys! It’s not that she is racist. It’s that WE DIDN’T GET HER ARCHNESS. Duh!

You might think that this is a lot of meta, inside baseball talk about the media. But what it really is is a serious discussion about race and television. And it’s a pointed look at how our media institutions value an entire institution. Because it seems to me that in order to be even a somewhat passable television critic, one must first actually like television. You don’t have to love everything on television, clearly. Because, holy shit, is there a lot of crap.

But you do need to, as a medium, appreciate and respect its potential and power. At very least, you need to actually watch it. But The New York Times, our paper of record, seems to hate television. Why else would it have gainfully employed arguably America’s Worst TV Critic since 2003.

This isn’t just one terrible article and tone-deaf mistake from a TV critic. Everyone makes mistakes. This is a TV critic who has proven for over a decade she is terrible and tone deaf. At this point, her mistakes are legend.

Who can forget that hit comedy “All About Raymond,” right? And who doesn’t fondly remember that segment she wrote about that DID NOT EVEN AIR on the day of Ann Curry’s departure from “Today,” eh? And I sure know I love Stephen Colbert and his “trustiness,” don’t you? (Yes, more irony, the women whose writing defines “truthiness” didn’t even get that right.)

When about revered newsman Walter Cronkite died her obituary for him contained not one, not two, not three but SEVEN FUCKING ERRORS. That’s the way it isn’t, in Alessandra’s world.

Read Gawker’s continuing archives on her terribleness for a good laugh/cry depending on how you’re feeling.

Hell, Margaret Sullivan isn’t even the first NYT Public Editor to take her to task. Two Public Editors ago, then ombudsman Clark Hoyt called her “a television critic with a history of errors” when writing about the Cronkite debacle.

But guess what, SHE IS STILL EMPLOYED.

I don’t watch any of Shonda Rhimes’ shows regularly anymore. But it’s not for lack of quality (it has more to do with time and ability to follow soapy storylines in a timely fashion). Yet I admire the hell out of her for bringing such rich casts and stories to out televisions. She has created wonderful roles and opportunities for people of color and created meaningful and thought-provoking LGBT storylines.

I was lucky enough to briefly interview Shonda at the GLAAD Awards a couple years ago and what I noticed about her in our very short time together wasn’t anything even close to anger. It never even crossed my mind. What I did notice was how smart she was and how, as an interviewer, my main goal was to keep up and not sound stupid.

The kicker of Sullivan’s post on the matter is perhaps the most telling of all:

“The Times has a number of high-ranked editors and prominent writers who are people of color, but it’s troubling that among 20 critics, not one is black and only one is a person of color.”

And that, my friends, is exactly why the world is better place thanks to ShondaLand. This is no country for Angry Black Women stereotypes. We need more Shondas and less Alessandra’s in the world to make it a stronger, smarter, more inclusive place. I have no idea how this woman gets away with being the America’s Worst TV Critic. But let it be known, we are not listening anymore.


p.s For some lovely uplift, please check out our friend Lesley’s post at The Hollywood Reporter where she asked 30 of Shonda’s stars to describe her in three words. Hint: None of the words are “Angry Black Woman.”

p.p.s. I took that photo of Shonda on the 2012 GLAAD Media Awards in San Francisco. Me. But the excellent side eye. Yeah, that’s all Shonda.

Accio Feminism

Don’t you like it when someone you thought would grow up nicely does just that? Emma Watson, a.k.a. Hermione Granger, was named a UN Women's Goodwill Ambassador earlier this year. And this weekend she helped launch the HeForShe Campaign for gender equality. Hermione Emma spoke at the United Nations Headquarters in New York on feminism and gender equality. It’s a rather stirring speech, and proof positive that sometimes you can tell from a very, very early age when someone is just a good egg. That Harry Potter girl, she’s definitely one of them.

My Weekend Crush

Sometimes I fall in love with songs ridiculously late. I have no one buy myself to blame, obviously. This is partly because my new song consumption consists of what I hear on the radio driving to and from work and/or getting groceries, mostly. The other part is because of my cranky resistance at watching music vides online – isn’t that what MTV should be for? But now, four months after it was released, I’ve finally watched the video for Sia’s “Chandelier.” I loved the song at first listen, but kind of forgot about it. But for whatever reason it has been coming on a lot on my drives again – or maybe I’ve just been taking more road trips. And I finally took the time to watch the video. Holy shit. And then I watched her live performance (complete with tiny dancer) on Ellen from earlier this year. Holy shiiittt. Now I feel doubly terrible for ignoring this song for so long. Stupid, stupid me. I should have known better, since my love for Sia’s work (and Sia’s weirdness) is already well documented. Long story short, I may be the last member on the late bus, but I will happily give credit where credit is due. Sia’s “Chandelier” is amazing. But then, you already knew that months and months and months ago. Happy weekend, all.



p.s. “Chandelier” is, indeed, amazing. But trying to sing along with “Chandelier” in the car proves how un-amazing a singer you really are. Them notes? They’re hard. Damn hard.

p.p.s. OMG, you guys, thanks to this video I can now sing “Chandelier” no problem. Even Sia loves it. I haven’t laughed so hard at something I am not sure I was supposed to laugh at in a long time. AHM GOHNA SWEEN FRAHNA CHEHNDOLEE! FRAHNA CHEHNDOLEE!!

Orange Mash

It’s been a video kind of week. What can I say, sometimes words fail me. And if a picture is worth 1,000 words, moving pictures are worth what? I don’t know, please don’t make me do the math. Just enjoy this “Orange Is the New Black” and “Golden Girls” mash-up you never knew your heart wanted.

p.s. As an added bonus, here is the “Orange Is the New Black” meets “Grey’s Anatomy” character mash-up that Ellen Pompeo posted yesterday you also never knew your heart wanted. Callie Torres as Alex Vause. Yes, 1,000-times, yes.

Aloha, Laughter

I love to laugh! Ha ha ha ha! Loud and long and clear! Sometimes you just need one of those loud and long and clear laughs. And I’ve always remembered Ellen (circa her early, floppy haired talk show days) trying out the Hawaii Chair as one of those great loud, long, clear kind of laughs. It’s Wednesday, you deserve this.

Greasing Palms

I am very excited about this photo of dirty hands. Why am I excited about this photo of dirty hands? For one, they are Ellen Page’s hands. Anything to do with Ellen Page is pretty exciting - duh. And, two, it’s because it’s Ellen Page’s dirty hands from her first day of mechanic lessons for the film “Freeheld.” Ellen tweeted out this picture yesterday afternoon and it made me squeal just a little. But in a totally professional way, like one does at her desk at work. *Looks around to make sure no one noticed*

If you’ve been around here, or The Internet, or any current affairs-reading lesbians for a while you know “Freeheld” is the true-life story of a lesbian couple who fought against their local county government to have the terminally ill partner’s pension benefits go to her surviving partner. Their life was turned into an award-winning documentary short of the same name. “Freeheld” won the Best Documentary Short Oscar in 2007.

Back in 2008, Page first signed on to the film. Yes, that’s six years ago. SIX YEARS AGO. Which is, like, 20 years in Hollywood terms. And as a gay lady obsessed with pop culture, it feels like 100 years ago since I began writing about this project. I’m not even joking. But thank God that tiny Canadian was persistent because those dirty hands mean it is finally, finally really happening.

As announced earlier this year, Julianne Moore has come on board to play Laurel Hester, a veteran New Jersey police detective. Page will play her domestic partner Stacie Andree, an auto mechanic. When she became ill in 2005, Laurel, a 25-year veteran of the police department, petitioned her local county government (called Freeholders, I dunno – government is weird) to pass her pension to her registered domestic partner. Big surprise, the all-male, all-Republican freeholders voted against allowing her to assign Stacie as her benefactor. But the couple kept fighting and rallied public support. (Spoiler Alert: Then, after an impassioned deathbed video from Laurel asking them to reconsider, the freeholders revered the decision. She passed 18 days later.)

The film will also star Steve Carell (replacing Zach Galifianakis, which makes me happy because, man, I was not a “Hangover” fan) as a gay rights advocate who helps the couple.

Right, so back to those dirty hands. I can’t think of a better symbol to show the hard-work and passion it took – both Laurel and Stacie in real life and Ellen and the filmmakers behind the project – to make this happen. Also, props to Ellen for going deep method with her acting.

p.s. If you haven’t watched the original “Freeheld” trailer, you should. It still makes me tear up at my desk all these years later. *Looks around to make sure no one noticed, again*

Yes, Yet

Is there anything more joyful than a woman in an impeccably tailored tuxedo dancing and singing with puppets? Wait, don’t answer. Just watch. And may the power of yet start your week off just right.

My Weekend (Gay) Crush

So today, in the weekly The AfterEllen Huddle, we were posed the question, “Why are you glad to be gay (or however you identify)?” I hope you get a chance to read all of the writers’ responses, because they are interesting and telling and at times quite moving. I wanted to share mine here as well. Because it was a question I never knew that I wanted to answer until it was finally asked. Happy weekend, all.

When I was in grade school, the coolest thing was to sit on the back of the bus on the ride home and make fun of the other kids. I wasn’t cool, but I wanted to be. One week, everyone in the back of the bus decided it was cool to call this one girl – who was awkward and scruffy and different in ways grade schoolers despise – names. The only one that stands out to me all these years later is “witch.” Don’t ask me why, I really can’t recall. But, remember, I wasn’t cool – I just wanted to be. So I called her witch with them one bus ride home. It was a mean and terrible thing to do. And I regret it to this day. But I wanted to be cool, and cruelty seemed the fastest way there.

Years later, when I began to realize my own difference, the urge to hide the “not one of us”-ness of my very existence grew to an unmanageable din. I won’t be cool, I won’t be liked. I’ll be the witch at the back of the bus.

But learning to accept and own and honor that very differentness that is inherent in every single gay person is the reason I am most glad to be gay. For those who fit effortlessly into the back-of-the-bus crowd, coming to the realization that coolness or sameness or whatever-ness you hold dear doesn’t really matter often comes more slowly – if at all.

Being gay has afforded me a front-row seat to what otherness means in America. (So has being a minority, being a woman, et al – as it does for anyone outside the descriptors of the pre-prescribed societal norms.) But what it really has done is make me a kinder, more open person. It has made me realize for all of our so-called differences we are actually all terribly the same. We are just tiny humans spinning around the sun on this crazy blue marble for a ridiculously short period of time. So, really, what’s the use of being cruel?

Being gay also means I get to kiss girls. Which is awesome. So there’s that, too.

Coming up Rosie

I don’t watch “The View,” but I am certainly happy Rosie is coming back to “The View.” I haven’t always been the biggest fan of Ms. O’Donnell’s (mostly just the stupid, needless feuds and occasional insensitivity), but I have always appreciated her passion and also she was Doris Murphy, third base. But I think time has helped Rosie gain perspective and wisdom and should make for a very interesting View-ing. Plus, it never hurts to have another out gay woman front and center.

What I like about Rosie, particularly this Rosie who has returned from the edge of emotional daytime talk brinksmanship, is that she is unapologetically direct and unwaveringly honest. The lady speaks her mind – and her mind alone, not some rote points laid out for her by whatever agenda she supports – and there’s precious little of that enough as it is. In America, we love a good second act (though in Rosie’s case this might be third or fourth at this point). We can’t help ourselves, we cheer for the hard-earned comeback. So I hope Rosie brings it. Actually, I already know she will. Also, girl, looking good on that Variety magazine cover.

Oh my God, Becky

Greetings and buttutations. Here is just a little silliness for your hump day. Ellen still twerks better than I can. Also, love the shorts.

Welcome to the freak show

As much as Ryan Murphy drives me absofuckinglutely nuts, I look forward to his freakfuckingtastic “American Horror Story” each year. Part of its appeal is its one-shot nature every of season. Murphy’s famously short attention span tends to doom his shows past their first season. (cough, Glee, cough) But by completely changing the setting, the plot and the characters it keeps things fresh. But the smartest thing by far is keeping the same very, very talented female cast. Jessica Lange, Sarah Paulson, Kathy Bates Angela Bassett. It’s hard to find a more talented collection of ladies on one show than that. This year’s carnival theme is rich with possibilities, and already we’ll have double the fun with Sarah and triple the fun with Angela (oh yeah, I noticed the extra girl in there). So bring on the freaks.

Vacation Vixen: Rizzles

I rather enjoyed this summer season. I mean, not the finale – which came with its now-requisite totally unsurprising cliffhanger wherein Jane risks her life to save someone else. (Must be Tuesday!) But I thought the crimes were (a tad) more interesting and the stories were (a tad) more believable. And, yes, there was the ever-present chemistry, which is and will always be why I watch. Yes, Jack is terrible and we are all very glad he has landed another TV show. (Nothing against Enver, but he has zero chemistry with Sasha. ZERO.) Now that my vacation is (almost) over I’ll have the very late Subtext Recap for the finale up today (or early tomorrow – depending how much work I get done on the plane) over at AfterEllen. Thanks for watching another season of the Gayzzoli with me. And thanks for being patient. Cheers, Rizzles Gals. See you again in February when Jane (gasp) survives.

Vacation Vixen: Lana Parrilla

I haven’t watched “Once Upon a Time” in forever. Hook me up, Swan Queen Fandom. What have I missed – well, besides Lana Parrilla looking like sex on a settee?

Vacation Vixen: Gillian Anderson

I’m not even kidding, when is “The Fall” coming back? I seriously cannot wait to see Gillian Anderson on my teevee again. Also, only mildly related because it involves a British crime show with a strong female lead, has anyone watched “Happy Valley?” Looking for new things to watch as my vacation continues.

Vacation Vixen: Samira Wiley

You guys, you guys. I so owe you an Inmate Profile character recap of Poussey. I’ve been dying to write hers (and Morello’s, if we’re being honest), but I have just haven’t had the time to do her justce. I don’t want to half ass it because the awesome human being and all around heartthrob that is Samira Wiley deserves nothing less.

Vacation Vixen: Jodie & Alex (with bonus Bennett)

Sometimes I still can’t get my mind around the fact that Jodie Foster is a married woman. And married to Alexandra Hedison. Seriously, it’s like Six Degrees of Lesbian Separation. Anyway, here’s a photo of the happy couple (with bonus actual physical contact) posing with Matt McGorry at the Emmys last month. I’m trying to think what Jodie and Alex (does she go by Alex? I’m going to call her Alex because we’re all lesbians here) would want Bennett to sneak into Litchfield for them in his leg*. Probably some nice single malt whisky and some lotion would be my guess. It puts the lotion… Oh, you know where this is going.

* I know, I know. It’s a fake fake leg.

Vacation Vixen: Jennifer Lawrence

To the fucknut who hacked Jennifer Lawrence (and other famous women’s) phone and stole TOTALLY PERSONAL, TOTALLY PRIVATE photos and then posted them all over the Internet: Fuck you, you worthless excuse for a fucking human being. We live in such a fucked up world sometimes. If you wouldn’t go to Jennifer Lawrence’s house and peep in her window to see her in a TOTALLY PERSONAL, TOTALLY PRIVATE setting, then you shouldn’t be looking at these stolen photos online either. I happened upon some accidentally after landing from a long flight yesterday and felt so fucking gross. I’m mad that I saw what little I saw. And fuck this shit about “they shouldn’t have taken naked pictures in the first place…” All women, yes - even famous women, are allowed to do whatever they want with their bodies consensually. What is not allowed is for someone else to do whatever they want with said bodies nonconsensually. What is wrong with people? Anyway. Sorry, didn’t mean to start off my vacation with so much swearing. But, a little righteous anger is a good way to clear out the cobwebs. Keep your head up, Jennifer. You (and the other women whose photos were flat-out stolen) did nothing wrong. I join you in one-fingered solidarity against that fucknut hacker thief who did everything wrong. Fuck you, dude. Seriously. FUCK YOU.

EDIT: I would like to reiterate that NO MATTER how good she looks and NO MATTER how dumb/smart you may/may not think it is to take naked pictures on your phone, stealing someone’s TOTALLY PERSONAL, TOTALLY PRIVATE images is a FUCKING CRIME. This is not about prudishness. This is not about her actions. This is about a CRIMINAL who violated another human being’s basic rights. Period.