My Weekend Crush

THIS POST IS DARK AND FULL OF GoT SPOILERS

Lady Arya Stark of Winterfell. First of Her Name. Slayer of Night Kings. Queen of the Dawn. Baker of Freys. Waster of Waifs. Keeper of Lists. Wearer of Faces. Second to No One. And The Baddest Bitch in the Seven Kingdoms.

I, like everyone else, watched - more like squinted - at my TV through the murky darkness of “The Longest Night” and hoped that my favs (a.k.a. All The Women) made it out alive on “Game of Thrones.” And, miraculously, many of them did. Though pour one out for Lyanna Mormont and Melisandre. (Also, dude, the low death count totally screwed up my GoT Death Pool bracket at work.)

But, while I probably should have, I did not expect Arya to be the one to kill - more like shatter - the Night King. So to call me pleasantly surprised would be an understatement. Of course, after the episode aired it became apparent I wasn’t the only one to be surprised by Arya’s fatal blow. And, of course, the inevitable cries of, “But how could Arya kill him so easily?” And, even worse, cries that Arya was a Mary Sue. Yeah, fuck them and the dragons they only wished they flew in on.

Did Arya Stark not train for a whole damn season with the Faceless Men? Did she not lose her vision, get the shit kicked out of her, and come out deadlier than ever? Did she not learn the water dance from Syrio Forel? Did she not spar with Ser Brienne of motherfreakin’ Tarth and use that exact same hand change trick? Has she not used Needle – considerably more than once or twice – to slice names off her list? A Mary Sue? Bitchy Fanboys, please.

While I still have no idea who will ultimately take the throne, after last week I know our girl Arya will always say Not Today to the God of Death. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. Hey, Maisie Williams, I heard your boyfriend thought Jon Snow should have killed the Night King instead of you. I’m not saying you should dump him, I’m just saying every lesbian I know was endlessly impressed. Just sayin’.