Monday, August 13, 2007

Spashley down

Spoilers! Spoilers, Will Robinson! Seriously, I’m gonna talk “South of Nowhere” season 3 premiere. So, if you haven’t watched yet or think teenage lesbian romances are silly, then shoo. Shoo, I say.

OK, are they gone? Can I just say, ohmygod, they killed Clay!! You bastards!!! Sorry, wrong show with a “South” in the title. OK, already season 3 is infinitely more interesting than season 2 (sorry, the season was kind of blah what with the degaying counselor, runaway road trip and hair brushing in lieu of kissage). But, season 3, holy crap, talk about opening with a bang. They killed a member of the Carlin clan. Damn, they’re really taking those “To Live and Die in L.A.” lyrics to heart.

I’m not sure the behind-the-scenes politics of killing off a major character on The N (Did the actor want out? Were they at a loss for how to spice up the teenage pregnancy storyline?)*, but once again a death on SoN is another excuse to bring camera crews on campus. First VH1’s “Behind the Music” and now MTV’s “True Life.” You’d think MTV Networks owned The N or some…oh, wait.
But on to what we care about: Spashley. First we get my-brother- died-and-you-went-to-Europe-and-then-didn’t-call-me-all- summer awkwardness. Then we get kissage -- glorious, glorious kissage. Followed immediately by breakup heartbreak complete with Ashley’s post dumping rehooking up with her hetero ex. Jesus, dyke drama starts young in L.A. I do like that it was Spencer who did the breaking up. Ashley is always hottest when she is in pursuit. And by hot, I mean age-appropriately attractive. Oh, hey, Mandy Musgrave is actually 20, so lust away. Enjoy.

The rest told in equation form since this is high school, yo:
Aiden + emo bangs = vomit
Glenn + screen time = vomit, squared
Ashley + inheritance = trouble
Spencer + Ashley + Aiden = get used to it, this dramarama is gonna be around all season

And two bonus equation based on the latest promo:
Spencer + random girls in bars = potential rebound hotness
Madison + straight girl gaydar = “L.A. is full of young eligible lesbians.” Snicker.

p.s. In case you missed the two-part premiere (301: “The Valley of Shadows,” 302: “Can’t But Me Love”) watch it now at The Click.
p.p.s. A little birdie told me SoN was nominated for Breakout Show in the Teen Choice Awards. So if you’re a teen (or an adult who secretly watches), go get your vote on.
p.p.p.s. * I understand the actor playing Clay was, how do I put this, a homophobic douche and wasn’t comfortable with the Spashley storyline. So, you know, good riddance.


iwish said...

Tanks for previewing that smooch

suus said...

I'm not so bothered by the killing off off Clay. The guy wanted outbecause of his "faith and personal integrity" read: homophoob.

Pamela said...

I love Madison! I hope she actually gets something to do this season instead of stalking Aiden and I'm all for her pimping Spencer out to "young eligible lesbians" LOL. Speaking of Aiden, WTF is up with his hair?

Jules said...

aww...I actually like glen...he's not the homophobe he once was! But yeah, Danso left (clay) cause he didn't like the gay stuff!

Anonymous said...

Yup, Danso wanted out, but I don't know why Austen Parros (Sean) also seems to have left the show. His character Sean and Chelsea had some chemistry and he was the most mature of the group. Now Chelsea is left with "uncle glen" aka "Ass". But that said, Dayum, the producers and the channel apparently listened to the outcry from the viewers for more same sex PDA's. And that is a good thing.

Amanda said...

So, I've never watched this show until last night when I watched the season 3 premiere on the N's website.... I have to say I wasn't too impressed. I honestly don't think I'd watch this show if there weren't a lesbian story line in it. The Spencer girl is a good actress, the Ashley... not so great, kind of hard to watch at times. I guess I just wanted to see more out of the show. But then again I think they're aiming for a 13-17 audience so I shouldn't be so picky, plus if MTV is behind it in anyway you can't expect the writing to be that great... sorry for the negative comments, though I will say that the show has it's addictive qualities...