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p.s. For more on Jodie’s smoking spread for W magazine, along with more interviews, more photos and more reasons to thank the universe for the existence of white tank tops, check out the AfterEllen Blog on Tuesday.
“Julia (Joely Richardson) and her new girlfriend (played by Ms. Portia de Rossi) -- yes, I said girlfriend -- will be the victims of a violent crime this year. I’m hearing the pair is kidnapped, sexually assaulted and left to deal with the emotional ramifications of the event for many episodes to come.”
Like I said, WHAT THE FUCK?! I was all excited about all the hot lesbian sex Portia and Joely were supposedly going to have together. I mean, sure, they suffer from Lesbian Twin Syndrome, but I’m willing to overlook it in the name of, uh, art. And then this. Why? WHY! God, can’t there be any happy, healthy, sexy, non-pregnant, non-emotionally scarred lesbian couples on TV? Must we all end up in therapy? According to Kristin, sadly, yes:
“I’ve heard the storyline is so dark, it’s one of the darkest in Nip/Tuck’s history and actually involves a hate crime.”
Look, it’s all good and fine and honorable to raise awareness about the horrible, horrible effects of hate. But this is a show about plastic surgery, people. And it’s not a show know for a) it’s deep social activism or b) it’s tact. Ugh. This reminds me why I stopped watching in the first place. I might still tune in for the sex, though. What? I never said I had any tact either.
Let's talk about your ring.
This one? [Proffers left hand] It's Tiffany, an eternity ring.
You're wearing it on your wedding ring finger.
I am. I've always worn a ring. Even taking photos. Even on magazine covers. I don't take it off.
Don't you think wearing a ring like that raises questions?
Well, but that's my life. I thought about this recently: I had a nightmare the other night. Well, anyway...
C'mon! Let's hear the nightmare!
I was being interviewed by somebody, like an innocuous [press] junket thing. They were asking me questions about food I liked or whatever. Then they said, [in a high, innocent voice] "Have you ever written any homemade anti-Semitic cards?" And I was like, [horrified] "No!" Then she said, "Come with me," and I realized to myself, "You're so stupid. Haven't you ever seen that 60 Minutes thing where they ask you a banal question? You're not supposed to say yes or no. You're supposed to go, 'Well, that's interesting.' Because if they ask you the banal question, it's because they have some kind of document on you. And now you've got to go! And now the camera's going to follow you!" Then my dream was over.
[Pauses and reflects before continuing]
My life is my life. I'm not going to change my life for anybody. I don't have any problems with it. I just don't talk about my health, my dad, who I voted for or what I think of the death penalty, because that would be trivializing my life, selling it for a magazine. I don't have any problems with anybody reporting on my life. It's just that I'm not going to bring my family into that. The number-one reason for that is: Why would I invite -- encourage -- more people to sit outside my door and wait for my children to go to school? I don't have any desire to participate in it.
Do you feel that people appreciate the choice you've made to maintain your privacy?
I don't know if anyone appreciates it now. I'm sure there are all sorts of people who don't like what I've chosen....I think my kids will understand and respect it. In 20 years, people will look back on my life and I'll be 65 and Britney Spears will be 45, and I think by then people will understand the value of privacy.
Come on Jodie, your sons already spilled the beans. Go ahead, show us Cydney’s matching ring.p.s. Anyone else jealous that the reporter got spoon-fed by Jodie?
1. The Sexy Imp (See: Shane McCutcheon)
Selma Blair (top) is working the bed head hard. While she may not be gay, her hair -- at the very least -- experimented in college.
2. The Rock Star (See: Jackie Warner)
Faux hawks ahoy! Rumer Willis (that’s Bruce and Demi’s spawn) and Pink are no doubt receiving thank-you muffin baskets from hair gel manufacturers everywhere.
3. The Bald Butch (See: Sinead, when the was still gay)
Mena Suvari went all Britney on her locks. One can only assume she did this for a role. And by “role” I mean her new girlfriend Ro. I kid, I kid. But, she is coupling her new close crop with a camouflage hoodie and a white tank top. Rather lespicious, no?
4. The Prison Matron (See: Your naughty jail fantasies)
The hair, the jaw line, the scowl, the austere duds -- seems Laura Harris (from the upcoming “Women’s Murder Club”) missed her true calling as a regular on “Bad Girls.”
What better way to ease into your work week than a bunch of beautiful women getting their kits off? And, that they took it all off for a good cause, well that’s just icing on the naked lady cake. In the final edition of Jane magazine, Eva Mendes, Lili Taylor, Joss Stone, Serena Williams, Kate Dillion, Emily Vancamp, Kate Mara and a pregnant Milla Jovovich stripped for the charity Clothes Off Our Backs. All the naughty bits are covered so it’s a very tasteful affair. You know, like looking at classy nudes at a gallery reception, sipping wine and exclaiming loudly to anyone within earshot, “Excellent contrast and the lines are almost architectural” while the whole time you’re really just trying not to stare too long at, well, boobies. See all the lovely ladies bigger and better here. Good luck with the whole not staring thing.
Instead I’ll just say that while the man-boy slacker meets ambitious-uptight beauty genre is irksome, what irks me most is how the equation almost never gets reversed. We’ve come to a point where Andy Samberg, Seth Rogen and Jack Black are all legitimate leading men. And fine, whatever, good for them I guess. But where is the equal screen time for the female equivalent of your Andys, Seths and Jacks? Where are the funny but average (or downright goofy) looking women and their hunka-hunka burning loves? Look, I’m all for funny folks landing smoking hotties. Just don’t forget the funny gals.
Wow, it seems like forever since I last had a Buffy post. Oh, right, because it has been forever. The newest Buffy Season 8 comic is finally out (actually it came out a week early but I forgot…oops). Issue No. 5 is the first stand-alone storyline of the new series (think monster-of-the-week versus mythology storylines on “The X-Files”). It follows a faux Buffy (one of three) on her road to Slayerhood. See the first six pages here. Looks like a bumpy road.
In other Buffy news, Joss Whedon came, saw and spoiled the crowd at Comic-Con. The highlights:
And, finally, more tidbits not from Comic-Con, but the TCA’s where former Buffy executive producer/writer Marti Noxon talked a little Slayer. (She was there as one the executive producers of the Grey’s spin-off “Private Practice.”) The highlights, again: