Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Sarah can do it

Another day, another chance to see what is happening with my Fake Internet Girlfriend Sarah Haskins. What? The judge said my hidden camera surveillance operation was “illegal” and “unconscionable” and whatever. So, this is the best I can do to keep updated on her life while remaining completely within the bounds of the restraining order. Sorry, what's that? Who is Sarah Haskins? You've never met my Fake Internet Girlfriend? Or maybe you feel like you've never been properly introduced? Well, here is a little primer for everyone on what all the fuss is about. p.s. 80s Sarah is totally a lez. What? I'm just saying.

There, now that we're all properly introduced, what else has Sarah been up to? Well, crying while watching Lifetime television on The Internet Machine, of course. Sheesh, who hasn't?

I'm totally going to start incorporating a little snap, crackle and pop into my daily haircare routine.

Of course, I was somewhat less pleased to find out that Sarah was dating. Though, after watching her night with some stiff named Ken, I'm fairly certain that I still have a shot. Hey, the wrong kind of genitalia is better than no genitalia at all, right?

Of course, if Sarah is going to imaginary step out on me, then I can imaginary step out on her with yet another of Current TV's offerings, the new series SuperNews. It's not cheating if you're honest about it up front. The animated show's take on Twitter is yet another reason I'm eternally thankful to Al Gore for inventing the internet Current TV.

It's funny because it's true. That said, feel free to follow my detached, bite-sized, yippity-yap @dorothysnarker. I just love randomly shouting into the darkness.


TheWeyrd1 said...

I feel much better about NOT getting into the Twittersphere!

Anonymous said...

Did you catch Rachel Maddow on Jimmy Fallon last night? Fallon is till difficult to watch, but Rachel made a cocktail with precision that definitely doubled as a turn-on.

Anonymous said...

I love your secret girlfriend!

She always cracks me up. Great way to start my day. Thanks.

Akaisha said...

I always hear your fake internet girlfriend's name, but I've never really watched her. Thanks for introducing us. I'll be spending more time with her in the future.

Anonymous said...

You've summoned the FAIL WHALE!

- made my day. Oh, and it goes without saying that you are sharing fake Internet girlfriend with many of us. She is fabulous.

Alaina said...

Sarah is brilliant. Please keep up the video posts!

Deb on the Rocks said...

I always forget her name and call her Sadie Hawkins. It's not her fault, probably. She's adorable.

Anonymous said...

so, people break up cus a person
has allergy about the pet.
it happened, i really want to have
a pet but, my mom has allergy, too.
anyway i'll have one someday.

twitter movie just reminds me
a document about.was it about tech?
i don't remember clearly though.
there was a japanese girl and her
parent. i don't know about japanese
but the tv said their relationship
weren't good so they never talk each other for long. really really long. so to help them, scientists made a headgear, attached a camera..on it.
bla..bla..bla.. the idea is that
they don't have to face each other.

i mean to talk, she stands in front of the parent but their backs face each other, but they can
see others face through the camera on the headgear.

i just so annoying and think that
why they need like that complex
scientific stuff just to talk?
well, maybe same reason like mind
why i leave a comment?