Monday, February 09, 2009

My darling Clementine

So my gaydar totally needs a tuneup because Clementine Ford did not ping it even a little, even at all. I mean, sure, she had a certain matter-of-factness about her that lends itself to speculation. But full-on “Yes I Am”-status? Um, no. I think all I really thought every time I saw Clementine was, damn, that girl looks like her mother.

Which, of course, is why the news that she has come out on the cover of the March issue of Diva magazine is so great. She says:

“I never want to put a label on myself — but knowing that not everyone comes from such a liberal place, when something like Prop 8 comes out, you realize it’s important to stand up and be counted. A little gay kid in a small town is more important than whether I want a label.

For me, there’s never been a distinction about anything to do with sexuality, so there was no declaration to be made. My siblings and I would bring home men and women, and as long as they were human it wasn’t a big thing.”

Of course, it's still a tad ambiguous as the what she is being counted as: lesbian, bi, heteroflexible, homoflexible, queerer than a $3 bill, whathaveyou. But considering that Leisha is one of the only out-more-than-in-just-lip-service stars of “The L Word,” I'll take all I can get. So huzzah! Fantastic news. Welcome to the family, Clementine. I'm not even going to do the juvenile thing where I compare your name to citrus. Oops, damn.

In the article, Clementine also implies that she is dating a woman and says, “but it’s new and I wouldn’t call it a relationship. I don’t want to say too much and jinx it.”

And with that the great Who Is She Sleeping With guessing game begins. She has already addressed the Kate Moennig rumors saying they're just “really good friends.” So I guess there is no Sholly in real life. A quick run through the lazy person's favorite stalking tool Google and I found out that she is also some sort of friend with musician Meghan Toohey (one of her Myspace photos is credited to “clementine 'you betta credit my ass' ford”).

And since no game of WISSW can be complete without some sort of personal connection, earlier this winter I went to see Lenka and was watching her band when I thought, “Who is that cute little lesbian on guitar?” So I went home that night and – of course – Googled and said cute little lesbian on guitar was none other than, yep, Meghan Toohey. Obscure? Yes. True? Yes.

I also noticed the “Ariel” name necklace Clementine has worn to several events. But her sister's name is Ariel, so that's a dead end. What? Stop judging. You know WISSW is totally your favorite game. Well, after – as StuntDouble already stated – Gay Projection 101. That's even a game Clementine has played herself.

“Mum and Jane (Lynch) have such a great energy together, on screen and off," Ford said. "They’re still friends. I want them to be together so badly; it’s my secret dream.”

So true. Though I think I've had my own personal, secret dreams involving Jane Lynch, too. Oh, The Reamer. Call me.

So, did Clementine ping your collective 'dars? I even went back to watch her August appearance on This Just out With Liz Feldman to see if I missed anything. But other than being eternally thankful for her decision to wear a black tank top that day, I still didn't get the vibe. Guess I really do need a tune-up.

p.s. If you want a gaydar field test, check out Liz's new third season of This Just Out which so far features two out gay ladies and two my-private-life-is-private gay ladies. It's perfect practice.
p.p.s. Oh and on a spoilery note, something tells me we may not have seen the end of Sholly just yet.


;) babs said...

no, never pinged my gaydar at all!

;) babs

Anonymous said...

Best. News. Ever.

I love Clementine, she's smart, sassy and sexy, and her appearance on This Just Out was hilarious.
Now that she plays for our team, the world is a better place.

Hannah said...

I never really thought about it, but I'm not surprised. She's the kind that you can easily imagine with both men and women (which is great, I think! Interesting!). I liked her a lot as Molly, so I certainly do hope she'll be back in the L Word.

I don't think I even have a gaydar at all, by the way. When I spot gay people, it's mostly because they make it very clear in some way (I LOVE LESBIAN LOVING tops work MOST of the time), or otherwise it's mostly just wishful thinking. It's a shame, really.

Anonymous said...

Miss Snarker, please please PLEASE watch the bit in This Just Out where clementine ford gets asked "whats it like to fake fuck shane?" and she goes to answer and then stops. When she whispers in liz's ear, the general tone of the laughter etc, its like shes saying something like 'similar to real fucking shane'...or something similar. I feel like i'm crazy! Nobody else has picked up on this weirdly suss moment in the interview!

Vikki said...

I thought the same thing as the second anonymous. In that moment, I was pretty sure that she was some sort of non-straight something.

Also, Megan Tooey is working with Rachael Cantu on an album. Rachael is often "in the kitchen" of This Just Out. So, maybe that's how Clementine ended up there ;)

I could play this game all day.

ames said...

Not only did she not ping my gaydar, I've never even heard of her until this post.

delurk said...

Wow; no ping on my gaydar either

liz said...

thanks so much for the link to the liz feldman video

all i can say is....gulp

Anonymous said...

I really liked Sholly. I thought for the first time since Carmen that Shane might actually try and get her s--t together.

This Shenny thing is just WRONG!!!!

Bring Clementine back!

Anonymous said...

Dorothy!!! THANK YOU FOR THE ARTICLE (and the stealthy research on her friends and connections)!!! Isn't she lovely? She has pinged a teeny weeny bit of my gaydar there. ;)

I don't care for Sholly. I want Kamentine!!!

slacker said...

No ping here, either. Maybe because I was always stuck on the "looks like mom" thing.

Katherine Simon said...

I got a 'not straight' ping, but nothing specific. And then I thought I was crazy when I couldn't verify it. Goes to show I should REALLY listen to my instincts.

Amanda said...

Called it!


Anonymous said...

Clementine pinged my "tomboy" radar which caused a corresponding ping on my gaydar. Granted, there's not a complete overlap between the 2 categories, but it's sometimes a clue, along with sensible shoes....


Anonymous said...

She pinged mine. But then I thought it was just wishful thinking... Then I read about Meghan Toohey, which gave a slight gossipy confirmation. And now finally!

Anonymous said...

'something tells you' is
tylenol will help.

duckgirlie said...

The second Jenny hid Molly's letter instead of getting rid of it, I've had my hopes she'll be back.

Anonymous said...

we saw her briefly at the L word's attempt to do a real life oil wrestling lesbian night in hollywood and decided that she is beautiful. then i happened to see that interview with liz feldman and that pretty much confirmed it. she reminded me of myself when i'm around other lesbians in a pseudo-straight setting and am constantly making inside jokes and dropping hints and making faces that other lezzies would get. so this really came as no surprise to me, but don't feel bad! my gaydar fails daily. :)

Anonymous said...

Clementine has a sister called Ariel? This is kind of funny, because for decades in Germany the washing powder brand Ariel used to be promoted by a character called Clementine. (Spelled with a K, though)