Maddow about you

I am remiss. I am terribly remiss. I am so freaking remiss, I am practically remiserable. The thing is, I haven't mentioned Rachel Maddow on this blog before. Not once. Not at all. What the hell is wrong with me? My only excuse is that I just stick a pinkie toe into the deep waters of political discourse now and then. Sure I dabble, but I leave all that really wonky stuff to the professionals. But here I am, ages after I started watching her on MSNBC, and I still haven't acknowledged the sheer awesome that is Rachel.

Why so awesome? Gee, let's see. Rhodes Scholar. Oxford Ph.D. Utter liberal. Air America host. MSNBC political analyst. Keith Olbermann's more handsome stand-in. Pat Buchanan's worst nightmare. Tucker Carlson's worst nightmare. Joe Scarborough's worst nightmare. Funny. Articulate. Unflappable. Affable. Gosh, I feel like I'm forgetting something... Oh yeah, gay – totally gay.

Over the past year Rachel's star has been steadily on the rise in an industry long known as a boys club. But while other political commentators have made names for themselves largely based on bluster and bullying, Rachel has shone because of her pure, unstoppable smarts. She is the kind of smart that makes the progressives swoon and the conservatives implode. In fact, I'm pretty sure her very existence makes the right wingers' heads explode. Heck, that alone is enough reason to wish her all the success in the world.

Granted, I haven't agreed with every single one of her opinions throughout the election season (like she was sure Hillary would stay in the race until Denver). But I've always respected her analysis and the fact that unlike her opponents on the right, or even some of her compatriots on the left, she has been consistent, fair and above talking points peddling.

Also, she's kind of a cutie – especially in that tie. And those dorky glasses. She reminds me of the lesbian Clark Kent. Have I mentioned she also makes a mean cocktail? Too bad she is making them for her longtime girlfriend, artist Susan Mikula (watch to the end to see their adorable smooch). Rachel promised that if she gets her own show she won't dance like Ellen. Might I suggest she mix a classic cocktail each show instead? Sophisticated and smart. Like I was saying, awesome. Or, more accurately, righteous. Seriously, MSNBC, give her her own show now.

p.s. Oh, and one more thing. She doesn't own a television. And she is on television. I hear more conservatives' heads popping off their necks with each passing second.