Monday, August 04, 2008

Interested in sex?

Loretta Lynn sang about it. Gazillions of straight women used it daily. And it is reason No. 5,682 on the master list of “Why it's good to be a lesbian.” Yes, it is The Pill. Or, if you want to get technical, birth control. My fake girlfriend Sarah Haskins' latest target is birth control and the asinine ads used to sell the stuff.


That's right, heaven forbid an ad for contraception actually concede that people use it so they can have – um, you know – The Sex. [Editor's Note: Sarah + Handcuffs = Meow!] Instead we're meant to believe that birth control is all about period control or acne control or moodiness control. That's right, women have emotions sometimes. Run for your lives!

Since we're all just ladies with simple lady minds, we're supposed to believe this bunk. Well I say they can take their small, comfortable, once-monthly vaginal ring and stick it where the sun don't...oh, wait, that's exactly what they want us to do. Crap.

p.s. I totally want to hear her thoughts on “The Great Gatsby.”

p.p.s. Oh no, it's a battle royal for my heart/funny bone. Who is better at lampooning birth control? Sarah Haskins or Tina Fey? My God, I can't choose. I won't choose! You can't make me!

13 comments:

TheWeyrd1 said...

Yeah...I tried that stuff for symptoms possibly due to endometriosis. Then I decided it wasn't...nope I'm not a medical doctor. I had no good reason to keep taking it. And really when I think about it...never should have bothered with it in the first place. I mean seriously, a lesbian on birth control!?! Like a "spit" baby is really gonna happen...lol

jennifer from pittsburgh said...

At least now I know why I had a fire baby.

Anonymous said...

i love that you posted this! last night we were watching tv and that ad came on and we all laughed about how ridiculous they are! And then of course we talked about Annuale and to hold on to your f$*#&ing hat!
Dorothy you never fail.

Anonymous said...

Uhh I'm on the pill. Without it I have erratic 30-50 day cycles and lose massive amounts of blood. It's a total saviour to me. Does that make me a bad les?

Anonymous said...

-_-;; i don't think they gonna take pill, do they? tina frey?

bisquiat said...

I for one am just patiently waiting for the big Snarker/Haskins face-to-face Meet, Greet and Fireworks Show. It's just got to happen one day. Soon.

(confidential to: anonymous: yes, it does.)

Ordy said...

Those videos made me laugh until I cried. I needed that. Way back when I was crazy and still trying to make a hopeless relationship with my Ex work I tried the pill. It made me insane, in a kill it with fire kind of way.

pyewacket said...

Sarah Haskins or Tina Fey?

Well, Sarah can bring the funny...but seeing Tina swinging a pink ax gets to me every time!

:D

IndigoSunMoon said...

Ok, I was giggling at Sarah,but when I saw Tina swinging that pink axe, and that other girl burying her face in the cake...well, I laughed my ass off.
Tina gets my vote...and Amy of course.
Connie

Queeny said...

hahahaha jennifer from pittsburgh! I'm pretty sure your comment made me laugh more than the two movies!

Lezlie Mac said...

tina fey with an axe in the living room.
with a fire baby...
How do we make this Snarker vs.Haskins dance off happen? seriously ?

duckgirlie said...

Wow. I didn't even know there was more then one kind of pill. We (luckily) don't have to deal with these ads, because they don't advertise prescription medication over here.

Ellis said...

I've never been so dumbfounded by advertisements before. Who actually sits around thinking these things up? The second one slew me though, I love Tina Fey.