Thursday, August 14, 2008

No one knows my hair is a lesbian

Um, whoa. When did Jena Malone's hair become a lesbian? Seriously, after seeing these shots of her at the “Tropic Thunder” premiere earlier this week, the only assumption one can accurately make is that her locks have officially come out and are currently in their rebellious, I-can-get-a-tattoo-if-I-want-to-mom-and-oh-this-is-my-girlfriend-and-we-totally-have-sex phase. Dare we dream that it's more than just her tresses surfing in the Sapphic waters? As reader Moom put it, “When did Jena Malone get so dykey hot?” Now there is a question for the ages. [Hat tip, Moom!]

Of course, our collective hairdar could be off given Jena's recent display of rock star inclinations. Indeed, last year Jena debuted her band Jena Malone and Her Bloodstains. I have to say, I didn't love the band name. It was more ewwwsome than awesome. She has since abandoned the Bloodstains and started the new band, The Shoe, on her new indie record label, There Was An Old Woman Records. Get it, she lived in a...oh, you get it. The Shoe's Myspace page says they sound like, “If you opened a tin box and found a tiny children's circus living inside.” I'm going to go on record and say that if I opened a tin box and found a tiny children's circus living inside I would be mightily freaked out.

But, back to what's really important, namely That Hair. Jena's homosexual rocker tendencies have been building in the last year. A quick peruse of the many hairstyles of Malone reveals a young woman who has kept her stylist in Prada.

Now I've harbored warm, fuzzy, age-appropriate feelings for Jena since her “Bastard Out of Carolina,” “Contact” and especially “Saved!” days. Sweet fancy Jesus, how fucking fantastic was “Saved!”? I am FILLED with Christ's love! Jena has been and continues to be a prodigiously talented actress who I see following in the Lili Taylor school of indie acting. Sure earlier this year she made a pit stop into horror shlockland with “The Ruins.” But, a girl's got to pay the bills, you know.

Speaking of “The Ruins,” Jena attended the premiere this week with her co-star from that film Laura Ramsey. Is it just me, or are they totally working a yin-yang look on the red carpet. Their outfits are mirror opposites. Laura is all goodness and light. Jenna is all darkness and destruction.

What, me, read too much into things? Things like, oh – I don't know, a haircut? Never.

p.s. Thanks, babs, this is indeed a totally honorary installment of SGALGG. Now if only there was more SGALGGy action going on between Jena and Laura. What can I say, I'm a dreamer.


Anonymous said...


;)) babs

Keeeerst said...

The hair is interesting... and hot :P

Love that clip from Saved! I so want to watch that film now.

Pyewacket said...

Sometimes, I have absolutely no opinion on a subject...but just simply enjoy reading your blog for such smart writing where you already know what I am thinking as I read along.

I don't think I have ever had such fun reading about someone's hair before.

Except there was this time...there was this blog on AE...about lesbian hair making a comeback...and I spit all over my computer screen when suddenly a picture of Zac Efron appeared before me.


dc said...

You all do know she was brought up by 2 lesbian mums, eh?

I have to admit, its the hottest hairdo she's had. She's always had a quirky attitude, but sweet. Now she's got an edge, and it suits her :)

Victoria said...

i'm right there with you. as far as i'm concerned it's only a matter of time before Jena Malone, Kristen Stewart and of course, Ellen Page step out of that closet.

needless to say, i'll be ready and waiting.

Anonymous said...

Oh Victoria... from your lips to Gods ears (ha ha)! Wouldn't it be great though if we did see the day when Ellen Page, Kristen Stewart and Jena Malone came out of the proverbial closet? And no, I don't know if any of them are actually gay, but I would certainly be happy if any/all of them were.

Of course this also got me to thinking that with Lindsay Lohan having starred in the remake of the Jodie Foster film "Freaky Friday" and with Kristen and Jena having both starred opposite Jodie Foster in films, perhaps that's some kind of prerequisite to young women in Hollywood and rumors of lesbianism (hmmm....), which of course means we now have to find the link between Ellen and Jodie!

P.S. I love Saved, so much so that I saw it 5 times while it was out in the theaters before of course purchasing the DVD and watching it several more times since!

I love the "lesbian hair" blog Ms. Snarker... kudos once again!

Renee "Lesberita" Gannon said...

I think Jena Malone and Laura Ramsey would make the cutest couple.

And Saved!, God I love that movie (no pun intended)

"She's saying she has a hot pussy!"

"No more muffins for you! The muffin shop is closed!"

"Did I ever tell you about the time I shoplifted a frozen turkey out of a Piggly Wiggly wearing only a tube top and daisy dukes? "

Grace said...

I love this post! Jenna actually had similar hair back in 2003--there's a picture at and the full photoshoot for that magazine is even better, I'm glad she's back to that hair!

Anonymous said...

Notice Laura is carrying a leather jacket -- think that's hers?

Anonymous said...

did you make prints for church?
you gentleman in your imagination.

especially catholic.

i'm out.
live well.

Anonymous said...

Saved! is quite possibly the best movie ever. I mean, someone made a teen movie about 'my' highschool!

purple_moogle said...

i love how i noticed her hair and googled it and it came to your blog when I know your posts from AE. It is a small world! That and you're clearly a big player in it

Anonymous said...

Only a few selected women look great with short hair. Luckily, Jena is one of them! :D