Friday, November 09, 2007

The Return of Kerplewie

Well, it’s official. The technology gods hate me. Earlier this week I came home to no dial tone. I called my phone company and lo and behold they told me my service had been switched to Verizon. Never mind that Verizon only provides wireless service in my area and this is a land line. Oh, and the tiny little fact that I never asked or authorized anyone to switch me to Verizon in the first place. Details, details. Now I have no service whatsoever. And it only gets worse. My internet service provider is also my phone company (freaking corporations, always merging; now AT&T owns my ass for every damn thing…). My home network is officially deader than a doornail. Pour a little out for my DSL, hommies.

After one, two, three very long, very frustrating conversations with customer service, the very long, very frustrating answer is that it will take 3-5 business days for my service to be reconnected. I am, as I type, doing that fun sitting-in-the-corner-of-my-living-room thing to get a weak and tenuous wireless signal. Fucking-A, why do all my neighbors have to be old and/or crazy and therefore without wi-fi? Oh, and I now reflexively scream every time one of those fucking “It’s the Network”-ads comes on TV. I swear if that “Can You Hear Me Now”-dude could hear me now, he’d be hearing some very choice words and seeing some creative hand gestures. Anyhew, what this means for you, my friends, is that all this weekend I will be without web access and, more than likely, very grumpy. I will still try to keep posting regularly but at this point I’m just lucky to connected at all. On the plus side, maybe I can catch up on some of my sleep. Sadly, it won’t help the teeth gnashing since I seem to be a pro at that waking or sleeping. This is, clearly, not my week.

p.s. I still plan on having a Weekend Crush... They can take my DSL, but they can’t take my crushes!

UPDATE: I don’t know why I never learn, but I called again today and, OF COURSE, something was wrong with the order and it had not gone through and it would be another 3-4 business days and another couple days after that for internet until my home network returns to normal... I called Tuesday and Wednesday and then they told me not to call again until Friday. Which I did and, of course, SNAFU. Today’s terror level is at RED. My blood, it boils.


Anonymous said...

I'll be right around in a few minutes with a good stiff drink (well a bottle or two of the same), my DSL connection (no forget the connection you need the break anyway - I think that the gods have decided your fate this weekend so just suck it up), I'd bring movies and books but then you need rest. So what it boils down to is us (well mostly you, I'd have to get back to work) having a few stiff drinks and crawling back into bed to sleep it off. Sorry that's all I can offer and I'm doing this for your own good too (you can thank me later). And I'd be rather disappointed (to the point of drinking myself into a stupor) if you would have let them deprive you of your weekend crush!

Wishing you a really good weekend (despite your woes).

You still Rock!


nycrouge said...

Bad timing since it was recently your birthday. Belated wishes from a fellow scorpio, btw.

You can has laptop and coffee shop?

WordNerd said...

Oh, that is most shitty. I would have had an atomic customer-service meltdown. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

Oh that's it!!! No more! I'm calling in my troops, that just won't do! That's a whole bunch of BS - just leave it to me - that truly sucks! They can't do this to you!

Here here now... don't know if hugs will work right now but I'm offering.