Where In the World Is Blanchett

Look, any year with a new, interesting Cate Blanchett movie can’t be all bad, right? I haven’t read the book “Where’d You Go, Bernadette.” But the movie looks fun, in a reverse Walter Mitty kind of way. And we could all use a little more adventure in our lives. Particularly any adventure that involves Cate Blanchett - with or without a cat.

So, anyone read the book? Is it worth having The Blanchett go missing? Discuss.

Congresswoman Crush Wednesday

So last Thursday was a good day for America. The 116th Congress was sworn in and we took a giant step toward becoming that more perfect union. How? By looking a whole lot more like our entire union. And that meant a lot more women and a lot more people of color. Well, at least on one of the parties (cough, the Democrats, cough). So just a little reminder of the things to give us hope. Sure, our so-called president may go on TV and spout hateful lies unabated. But we know we are fighting for a government that more like all of its people. Because that? That really is the future that liberals want.

Guess who’s back? Back again? Pelosi’s back. Trump better run.



The first openly bisexual Senator Kyrsten Sinema had known homophobe Mike Pence swear her in on a law book while looking this unapologetically chic.



Freshman Representatives Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Barbara Lee, Annie Kuster and Jan Schakowsky taking selfies like the bosses they are.



Out lesbian and Native American Representative Sharice Davids is sworn in with her family.

Gillian Education

Imagine if Gillian Anderson wanted you for sex…therapy. And she had an English accent and this haircut. Yowza, I think I can work up some sexual dysfunction is she was my therapist.



The new British comedy “Sex Education” stars Gillian as a sex therapist whose teenage son embarks on his own under-the-table sex therapy business for his high school classmates. I’m not sure how into the teenage boy runs sex therapy scam story I am. But I am always here for Gillian being funny and talking about sex. Plus reviews so far has been quite positive. And they’re not just “helping” straight couples either from the looks of things.



“Sex Education” debuts in the States Friday on Netflix. Will you be watching/Gillianing?

SGALGG: Golden Globes Edition

True story: My power went out about an hour into the Golden Globes and didn’t come back until just a few minutes before the show ended. So I had to catch a repeat to watch the second half. It was a lot of effort for a kind of s0-so show, but that’s just the lengths I’ll go to give you quality Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals action (sprinkled with some Gay Gals Acting Like Gay Gals, because we are legion).

Sandra Oh & Jodie Comer

Sandra so rightfully won, but Jodie and the show were robbed. Still, when Eve and Villanelle hold hands and gaze into each other’s eyes, we all win.

Emma Stone, Olivia Colman & Rachel Weisz

I want these three to come out hand-in-hand cracking lesbian sex jokes at all award shows.

p.s. Thanks for, quite literally, shouting how sorry you were for taking an Asian role in “Aloha,” Emma.

Amy Poehler & Maya Rudolph

If Amy is going to cheat on Tina, I’d only ever want it to be with Maya.

Judy Greer

Every time a female celebrity wears a tuxedo on the red carpet, a baby dyke gets her wings.

Alex Borstein & Rachel Brosnahan

“The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” may be having a hard time making Susie officially gay. But Rachel seems to be having no problem checking out Alex’s, uh, Borsteins – if you get my drift. Nudge-nudge, wink-wink.

Emily Blunt & Debra Messing

Since we’re talking about Borsteins, Emily is being vey animated about what she plans to do to Debra’s.

Halle Berry & Lena Waithe

I believe sexual orientation is largely genetic. But you can almost see Halle mentally switching teams as she holds hands with Lena here.

Olivia Colman & Glenn Close

Olivia and Glenn just heard Rachel tell them about the “tongue lashing” they’re going to receive from her later and they’re clearly excited.

D’arcy Carden & Jameela Jamil

In real (after)life, Janet would totally fall for Tahani instead of that dum-dum Jason.

Marin Hinkle & Rachel Brosnahan

Blah, blah, blah – I know they play mother-daughter on screen. But that’s acting people. Award-winning acting.

Patricia Clarkson & Amy Adams

Again, yes, yes, yes, I know they played mother-daughter. But it’s called acting, people. Equally award-winning acting.

Regina King & Tiffany Haddish

Regina promised to make all of her projects at least 50 percent female moving forward. I suggest she starts with Tiffany – in her pants. Too much? Did I mention my power went out for a while?

Jamie Lee Curtis

Fine, she’s not doing anything particularly gay. But she looks awesome and I think awesome things are gay. So, there you go.

Lupita Nyong’o, Danai Gurira & Janelle Monáe

I wanna be a fly on that wall…

Oh, look – now we can be! Thanks, Lupita & Danai.

When the cat’s away... pic.twitter.com/jFu7IJ4ATW

— Lupita Nyong'o (@Lupita_Nyongo) January 7, 2019

My Weekend Crush

The first crush of 2019 is not a new crush. But she is an eternal crush – an eternal crush who now rocks thigh-high glitter boots. HELLO. I have never missed the Obamas more than at this political moment. But I’m so glad to see they’re both out their living their best lives – particularly Michelle. After all, happiness is the best revenge. That and, you know, looking amazing in thigh-high glitter boots. May we all enter 2019 with thigh-high glitter boots in our hearts, and determination to walk all over injustice this year. Happy first weekend of 2019, all.

Under My Umbrella

Look, I don’t know fully what “The Umbrella Academy” is all about. But I know it has supernatural events, Ellen Page and Mary J. Blige as a suit-wearing assassin all together in a new show. So, yep I’m in. This totally seems like something to get excited about for 2019. Now, what’s this all about again?

20LezTeen

How do I know 2019 is going to be a good and gay year at the movies? Mainstream Hollywood is giving us Bisexuals in Black, Terminator: San Junipero and Captain Marvel-ous, but there will be at least two lesbian movies featuring high-profile casts. Late last year it was announced that Kristen Stewart was in talks to star in a Clea DuVall-penned lesbian holiday rom-com AND that Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan are set to star in a lesbian period piece. Sure, it’s not quite 2018’s Carol Effect wave of movies just yet. But it is a super gay start.

A little more on both projects.

K-Stew’s “Happiest Season” was written and directed by Clea (who co-wrote the script with writing partner Mary Holland). Per its synopsis, Kristen would play a “young woman whose plan to propose to her girlfriend while at her family’s annual holiday party is upended when she discovers her partner hasn’t yet come out to her conservative parents.” K-Stew starring in a contemporary, heartwarming holiday-themed lesbian rom-com? We truly are living in the future.

Kate and Saoirse’s “Ammonite” is set in seaside 1840s England. Kate plays real-life pioneering paleontologist Mary Anning who meets a young, wealthy London woman who is sent to the coast for her “health.”

Butter that popcorn, kittens. It’s gonna be a super gay ride.

Carol Lange Syne

Welcome to 2019. May it be better than 2018. May it be fairer than 2018. May it be kinder than 2018. May it be gayer than 2018. In short, may the Harges and Richards and other awful men of the world be pushed, declined and their reigned otherwise ended. Yeah, you know I’m talking about that rotting pumpkin of a man in the White House. Come to think of it, 20ImpeachTrump does have a nice ring to it. Happy 2019, all.

Best of 20GayTeen

Well, kittens, we made it another lap around the sun together. 20GayTeen lived up to its name, and then some. And what another crazy, crazy, super fucking crazy year it was. Personally, wonderful things happened. Like, you know, I got married. Politically, cruelty and corruption continued to reign. But at least a Blue Wave came in to offer us hope and reinforcements. And in the pop culture world? Well, art did its part to entertain, engage (occasionally enrage) and otherwise provide escapism exactly when needed. And, heavens, did we need it.

So here is a little ode to the best things I watched, listened and generally consumed in this year of our Lesbian Jesus, 20GayTeen. Thanks for keeping things super duper gay, universe. May the New Year aspire to such queerness, and then some. Happy New Year, kittens.

TV: Killing Eve


I just finished my fifth full rewatch of the entire first season of “Killing Eve,” and I can assuredly say this show only gets richer with each watch. In fact the complexity and brilliance of the series demands multiple viewings. Because on first watch you’ll likely be most stunned by the plot (like, holy shit, it really went there). Then another watch and you’re floored again by the acting because the things Sandra Oh can do with a few muscles in her face. And then a third rewatch you are dazzled anew by the impeccable writing and sublime use of music. And a fourth you’re drafting legal papers allowing Jodie Comer to legally murder you, should the want arise. And so on, and so forth. In short, if “Killing Eve” wasn’t your favorite new queer obsession last year, honey, there’s always this year.

Also: The Good Place


Hot forking damn this show is so good. Any show that passes between multiple dimensions so seamlessly obviously has no problem being fluid in its interpretations of gender, sexuality and personhood. Also, I would watch a 24-hour Janet channel. I really, really would.

Movie: The Favourite


What a tart, wicked delight. It’s beyond refreshing to watch a movie that allows women to be smart, cunning and ruthless without making them the villains of their own story. Instead, they’re treated as men would be in the exact same situation – as smart, cunning and ruthlessly heroes of their own stories. And, as we all know, heroes have all the fun.

Also: “Crazy Rich Asians”


If this movie only had a queer female character it would have been perfect. As is it was still a true delight, a feast for the eyes and a joy for our hearts. Plus, so much attractive Asian excellence in one place.


Music: Janelle Monae, Dirty Computer


Not only did Janelle Monae compose the greatest celebration of Lady Parts since Georgia O’Keeffe picked up a paintbrush, she also made the definitive ode to Bisexual Lighting. Plus, it has a beat and you can gayly dance it it.

Also: Hayley Kiyoko


I mean, we can’t leave Lesbian Jesus off a best of 20GayTeen list. I mean, that would be a gay sin.

My Weekend Crush

As enduring all those truly terrible comments (and some that continue to trickle in) on my post about AfterEllen’s two-year turn descent into full-on transphobia, please enjoy this advertisement from the Philippines instead. I know, I know – beauty products are in the business of selling you beauty products. But even if Pantene ultimately just wants to sell us all more shampoo – they’re selling all of us shampoo. Not just cis-men and women. But also trans men and women. Also nonbinary folks. Basically just everyone who wants shiny, healthy hair. And that, in and of itself, is beautiful.

I really can’t fathom lesbians, gay men and anyone else on the LGBTQ spectrum who turn their backs on their trans brothers and sisters. Can’t you see the exact same fear-mongering and bigoted stereotypes were used to discredit gays and lesbians not that long ago? They’re a threat to children! They’re going to prey on me in the locker room! I don’t care what you do in your bedroom, just don’t be so gratuitous about it in public! Ugh, why do you have to talk about it all the time? Can’t we just have someplace of our own where we can be with our own kind without them ruining everything?

Once more, with so much feeling – equal rights aren’t pie. If one group is granted civil rights, it does not mean you take them away from someone else. It just means finally the pie is big enough for everyone to have their rightful slice. And, again, don’t worry lesbians who don’t like trans women – no trans woman wants to date you. Trust me on this. Not a one. May we leave this kind of exclusionary thinking in 2018, with the rest of the garbage. Happy inclusive and beautifully shiny haired weekend, all.

That's So Dench

I hope you have seen “The Favourite” at this point. Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone were spectacular in it (as, of course, was the sublime Olivia Colman). Another delight is hearing Rachel explain British slang to Emma. I need something like this, but for “Great British Bake Off” terminology. That would be so Dench.

Suit Up

Did you get everything you wanted for Christmas, kittens? Well, if not, here is something to belatedly full your stocking. The trailer for “Men in Black: International” should just be renamed “Tessa Thomas: Wears a Suit” because – hello. It’s like Tank Top Tuesday and Gender Fuck Thursday got together and had a beautiful baby and that baby grew up to be Tessa Thomson in both a tank top and a suit. And she even flirts with Emma Thompson.



Well, now, it almost feels like Christmas morning again.

Merry Merry, Happy Happy

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate. May your day be nothing but merry and bright. To get you into the spirit please enjoy Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings singing some holiday carols (though, alas, not Carol carols) just for you. Merry happy, kittens, merry happy.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Carolmas

Have you left it too long? Your holiday shopping, that is. Well, no bother. Just pop on down to your local Frankenberg’s department store and get yourself a train set. Who knows, you might leave your gloves on the counter and meet your angel flung out of space.

Let the straights argue about whether “Die Hard” is a Christmas movie. All queer women know the true queen of Christmas movies is “Carol.” Time to don your gayest apparel and have yourself a Christmas Eve rewatch tonight, kittens. And, yes – Harold, they’re lesbians.

p.s. Why yes, I’ve been singing those Carolmas Carols ever since last week, why do you ask?

My Weekend Crush

It might be easy to dismiss Penny Marshall, who passed away at age 75 this week, as a caricature of herself. Those bangs. Those tinted glasses. And, yeah, that voice like a clench-jawed marionette had taken a handful of Quaaludes. But what Penny Marshall really was was a trailblazer. From the first moment she “Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!”-herself into our living rooms, she had us laughing. And laughter is an underrated revolutionary force.

While “Laverne & Shirley” was a spinoff of “Happy Days,” it was actually a slyly feminist statement. Here were two single women living together, working factory jobs and navigating life’s bumps and pratfalls together. They made us laugh and fall in love with their independent spunk.

When Penny moved on to directing, she chose projects that spoke with humor – so much humor – and heart. From “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” to “Big,” to “Awakenings” to “A League of Their Own” and more, her movies stuck with you in unexpected ways. “Big” was one of my absolute favorite movies as a kid – and I still stop to eat baby corn that way. It perfectly captured the impatience for adulthood you felt as a child, and why it’s always better to take your time instead.

And, of course, there was “A League of Their Own,” which is the all-time greatest sports movie. Period. (Don’t @ me with your “Bull Durham” or “A Field of Dreams” or “Major League” nonsense.) You know what else it is? The highest grossing baseball movie of all time – yeah, more than all those other dude films. In fact, Penny was the first female director to have a movie gross over $100 million. First with “Big” and then with “A League of Their Own.”

The thing about Penny’s movies is they’re instantly iconic in so many ways. They’ve slipped seamlessly into our lexicon. They’re just a part of us now. There’s no crying in baseball! They made us laugh, but they also showed us something special. “A League of Their Own” remains a landmark. It’s about how good it feels to be seen, to be appreciated, to be celebrated for doing something well that no one expects from us. And, really, that’s what we all want. Plus, it was ladies playing baseball. And we all know that is something all queer gals can get behind. Thanks, Penny, for all the laughs and love. Please say hello (and crack some really dirty jokes) with Carrie Fisher for us. Rest in peace, lady. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Julia Edition

So every year The New York Times does this “Great Performances” series where they have the year’s biggest stars perform short scenes. This year Julia Roberts, fresh off her first TV series with “Homecoming,” is The Commuter who daydreams about being in full tux and tails on the subway. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Julia and her mega-watt smile in a full tuxedo like this. But I know I like it. Plus, who doesn’t love a little soft shoe?

Julia Roberts transforms a dreary subway ride to work into a Fred Astaire-inspired daydream https://t.co/JeSP9gMiVk pic.twitter.com/E4jALHrfsI

— The New York Times (@nytimes) December 11, 2018

Carol's Carols

We are being wooed, gay ladies. Netflix is trying to woo us. How do I know? Not only is “Carol” still streaming on the service more than a year after it was added, but they’ve created a Carol Movie Sing-Along series on YouTube for you to really, really lez out with over the holidays. The Carol Caroler (dressed either in fur coats, coral hats and errant gloves or black jumpers, Santa cap and ugly turtlenecks) belt out super gay versions of your favorite Christmas tunes. Never mind those herald angels, this is “Hard! The Herald Carols Sing.” Now that’s what I call a Christmas carol glow up.

I have no idea why, three years after its release, Netflix decided to give “Carol” an extra holiday boost. But I know I’m eternally grateful to whatever queer gal wrote these lyrics in a fit of super gay seasonal spirit. I mean, if you think about it, it makes sense – lesbians have been singing Carol Aird’s praises all this time already. So, naturally, why not express that joy to the world in song.

Here are some for holiday tunes Carol-ized for your pleasure. Thanks, Netflix. You’ve earned this lesbian’s subscription for another year – and then some.

“Away in a Toy Shop”

The “Waterloo is where they’ll share something sweet” line made me snort a little.

“I Saw Carol Aird”

Minus a point for spelling Aird wrong. Plus a point for celebrating their “raw intimacy.”

ETA: Guess they realized they spelled Aird wrong and took it down. Tip your friendly neighborhood copy editor.

“The 12 Days of Carolmas”

It took me a second to realize what “Five Jolly Os” were. And then, ahem, oh my. Now, everyone have fun singing this all through Christmas dinner with your relatives.

Not Ready to (Keep Making) Nice

For whatever reason, we demand out female daytime talk show hosts be nice. Really, really, unblinkingly nice. Those with long memories will no doubt recall when Rosie O’Donnell was dubbed the “Queen of Nice” by Time magazine. Oprah was so nice she gave everyone a freaking car. And Ellen has picked up both their mantels to become the nicest, sunniest, danciest daytime talk host of them all.

But now, in an interesting, in-depth interview with The New York Times, Ellen is talking about her niceness and whether she wants it to continue – well, more accurately whether she wants her exceedingly nice talk show to continue – and her persona as an exceedingly nice talk show host. It’s worth a click for sure (you can find the full article here).

As the article mentions, and I’ve also heard in certain circles, The Ellen of real life is different from The Ellen of her talk show. Her true “niceness” is up for debate. But, on some level, we’re all like that. The person we present in our professional lives versus our private lives is very often different – usually in subtle ways but sometimes significant.

It’s strange to think, but her niceness can be seen as a cage. Veer anywhere outside the smiling, dancing blonde bubbliness and she is called out as a fraud. But, hey, we all have bad days. We all want to flip people off on the freeway sometimes.

Instead of her so-called niceness, what I’ve always admired about Ellen is her resilience. She had arguably one of the highest-profile comings out of all time. But that “Yep, I’m Gay”-heard around the world left her career in shambles for three years. And she rebuilt herself, joke by joke, into one of the most beloved entertainers working today. Seriously, think of a more loved celebrity? She is like the less risqué Betty White at this point.

So whenever Ellen is ready to quit her talk show (which is what the interview was ostensibly about – and to promote her new Netflix comedy special “Relatable” which debuts today), I am fine with it. Because I have no doubt this lady will come out on top. And isn’t that nice?

Music Monday: True Colors Edition

Just a reminder: Sara Ramirez can really sing. Oh, and Cyndi Lauper could always really sing. Please enjoy this moment of beauty to start your week from Cyndi’s “Friends: Home for the Holidays” show last week which benefited her lovely True Colors Fund, a charity that helps homeless LGBTQ youth. “True Colors” remains one of my all-time favorite songs, a glorious celebration of our differences – the vast, amazing, super weird rainbow of humanity. Don’t be afraid to let them show, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

“The Favourite” isn’t necessarily a lesbian movie. Yes, it is a movie with probable lesbian characters and plenty of lesbian activity. But there is no coming out scene. There is no gay panic tragedy. There is absolutely no queer agenda. This is just about three extremely complex women who are doing everything they can to navigate their lives – and really an entire country – without a single worry about the feelings of the frivolous men who surround them. It’s in short, pretty freaking amazing. And, actually when you think about it, plenty gay where it counts.

What “The Favourite” really is a celebration of the cunning – and cunnilingus (please, you knew that joke was coming) – power of women. What it is also is tons of wicked, perverse fun and another reminder that movies without a typical strong male leads are really rather good. In fact – in many ways, they’re favorable. (Not to mention more profitable.)

Olivia Colman, Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone have created characters in their real-life roles (with much creative license and Sapphic historical reimagining, of course) that are neither likeable or unlikeable. They are, instead, just riveting. You simply can’t stop watching – and why would you? These are actresses biting down hard into the juiciest, ripest of cinematic fruits. Here is a film that doesn’t insult their intelligence or exploit their sexuality.

It lets them be scheming, without being stereotypically scheming. It lets them be vain and ridiculous, without pigeonholing all women as vain or ridiculous. It lets them be smart – because surprise women are really fucking smart. In short, it lets them be the sorts of things men have been in films forever without a second thought – but it does so while still being true the very foundation of our feminine uniqueness. There’s a pathos to it that lingers long after the wild ride is done. All three women find themselves at destinations they hadn’t necessarily planned for. But then, as the saying goes, it’s the journey – not the destination. Happy weekend, all.