Tank Top Tuesday: Ilona Issue

I know that Ilona Maher is straight. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Some people are just born that way. But, damn, has she missed an opportunity with queer women everywhere. Like, how you don’t look at this Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue digital cover (I know, I know) and not swallow your tongue? Yet she has well chronicled the opposite sex’s difficulties with her, well, body. Oh no, she has broad shoulders and a strong jaw. Oh no, she is strong enough to pick you up and carry you around like a pretty, pretty princess. Yeah, not a problem for us. Not a problem at all. Anyway. The bronze medal-winning US rugby star looks great in the many, many, many, many, many photos of her in various forms of a bikini in this photoshoot. (And, once again, I contend bikinis still fall under the larger Tank Top umbrella. So say us all.) As I was saying, good for her. And, you know, call us if you ever give up on the fellas.