Movie Review: Benedetta

Since I think someone asked née demanded a review of the sexy lesbian nuns movie “Benedetta” review, well, here goes. If you were expecting something nuanced and elegant from the director of “Basic Instinct,” “Showgirls” and “Starship Troopers,” uh, I can’t help you there. If you were expecting something absolutely bonkers, you were right. If you’re expecting to enjoy it, well, that might depend on how much you drink beforehand. But, again, is you want to see a movie where a Virgin Mary dildo is a key plot point, well, there you go. To be honest, the first third or so of this movie was kind of bonkers in a good way. The fantasy Jesus action/romance hero sequences were almost “Bitch Slap-ian” in their camp. And I mean it has Charlotte Rampling. But in the end Paul Verhoeven can’t help himself. And we’re left with a ridiculous mess of boobs, torture and literal rolls in the hay. Should you watch it? Probably not. Will you watch it, I mean, I mentioned they use a Virgin Mary dildo, right? Don’t say you haven’t been warned.