The Theme Word

Look, I can’t stop thinking about “The L Word” sequel news. It’s like the ghosts of girlfriends past have come to give it one more shot. And we’re both excited and anxious and a little confused and possibly even scared by the whole thing. (To read my more salient thoughts, check out my guest column for The Hollywood Reporter here.) But I think the one thing we can all agree on is that theme song has GOT TO GO. I remember screaming at my television the first time I heard “Girls in tight dresses who drag with mustaches.” WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. Sure, now it has taken on a certain nostalgia. Particularly all that talking, laughing, loving, breathing, fighting, fucking, crying, drinking, riding, winning, losing, cheating, kissing, thinking, dreaming. But as a piece of music, you cannot reasonably argue its merits. Like just thinking about that discordant “And loooooooooove” at the end makes me rethink my sexual orientation. (Kidding, it just makes me want to be celibate.)

Anyway. Seems I wasn’t the only one thinking about a new theme. Queer musicians Mary Lambert and Michelle Chamuel helpfully whipped up an impromptu new theme yesterday. And, you’ve got to admit, it has a ring to it. I particularly like all the giggling. But, again, anything is preferably to that damn Betty monstrosity.

Unsolicited L Word Reboot theme song demo #5 written by me and @michellechamuel. You're welcome, Ilene Chaiken. pic.twitter.com/fpTnIxcrl2

— Mary Lambert (@marylambertsing) July 12, 2017

Bottom line, Chaiken, for lesbian heaven’s sake, pick a new song.

p.s. I also still can’t get over the fact that the original Season 1 theme song was replaced for Netflix because, apparently, Showtime didn’t own the rights to the weird bubble dot music or something equally bizarre.