Meet My Friend Carol

So I’ve decided that this week, my first week back at work from a long winter’s holiday, shall be my “Carol” week. Sure, I posted my full review last week, but there’s still so much to talk about. I mean, I could spend eons gushing about the impeccable period setting, down to the smallest detail and glossiest fingernail. It was just all so damn dreamy.

But first, I want to get some necessary housekeeping about the movie out of the way. And that has to do with the movie’s box office. It’s not doing badly, having already made a respectable $5 million since its very, very limited release. But I want it to do, well, better. “Brokeback Mountain” made $83 million by the time its ride was done. “Philadelphia” topped $77 million. “Milk” pulled in $33 million. Heck, “The Kids Are All Right” made a tidy $20 million.

In fact, the top-grossing lesbian film as far as I can find is “The Hours,” which isn’t really a lesbian film as much as a film about some rather unhappy women who also have lesbian tendencies. The second-highest charting film involving lesbians is “Monster,” about a lesbian serial killer – at $34 million. So, yeah, I think we’re due a slightly happier ending, don’t you think?

So I am going to start a campaign called “Take a Straight to Carol.” It’s simple really. Bring a straight person (mom, dad, brother, sister, friend, roommate, coworker, schoolmate, gym buddy, Uber driver, whoever) with you when you go see the movie “Carol” again. Yes, it’s really that simple. Why? Because more straight people need to go see “Carol,” that’s why.

After making us queer ladies wait an excruciatingly long time with its excruciatingly slow release schedule (and in some cases, still making them wait depending on your location), the film seems to have lost some of its pre-release momentum when it comes to mainstream audiences. Such are the laws of inertia with bodies in rest and motion. Plus all of the reviews luxuriating praise, awe and eternal devotion on the film came out nearly two months ago. That’s forever in pop culture terms.

In the interim some little movie called “Star Wars” opened up in theaters and sucked every last piece of cinematic news into its ginormous black hole of box office domination. And deservedly so, because it’s a super fun film and really good story.

But that leaves little gals like “Carol” out in the cold hoping folks who wandered into the cineplex after already having seen “The Force Awakens” two to twelve times will look at the hazy poster of Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara snuggling and think, “Oh, yeah, that lesbian thingie was supposed to be good, right?”

So here’s what we should do: Take them there ourselves. Now that “Carol” has opened in more major cities finally, make a special pilgrimage with someone who has not seen the movie already (and see it yourself for the second time, third time, sixteenth time in the theater) and allow its splendor wash over them as well. Bribe them with popcorn if you have to. Do whatever it takes. More people should experience this movie, more people should be allowed to experience this movie.

Of course, there are always ulterior motives. Yes, indeed, you could even call it my Big Gay Agenda. I want this movie to do well and I will not deny it. The more people who see “Carol,” perhaps the more people will find a part of their hearts opened to an experience they didn’t know they’d desperately wanted. No, stop it, I’m not talking about recruiting. I’m not sending out toaster ovens as late Christmas gifts. I’m talking about the experience of seeing the great mystery of attraction, desire and love played out in one of the most beautiful ways possible. I’m talking about the universality of yearning. Because, in the end, that’s what “Carol” is all about – the sublime ache of wanting someone, and having that person want you back.