Did you hear that sound at about 5:30 p.m. EST/2:30 p.m. PST yesterday afternoon? It was the sound of lesbians everywhere collectively wailing and gnashing their teeth at the news that Laura Prepon is reportedly leaving “Orange Is the New Black.” WHAT? WHY? NOOOOOOOOOO! And repeat.
To quote Alex Vause herself, DON’T YOU FUCKING LEAVE ME.
Buzzfeed reported yesterday that Laura hadn’t signed a contract yet and would not be a regular for season two. She would only appear in a limited number of episodes to essentially wrap up the Alex/Piper storyline. WHAT? WHY? NOOOOOOOOOO! And just yesterday I had rejoiced at our glorious summer of lesbian love on television. This is what I get for not knocking on wood first. To be even more gay than I already am and quote Tegan and Sara, WHERE DOES THE GOOD GO?
Sorry for to copious all caps, but my BIG LESBIAN FEELINGS can hardly take it. We threw our pies for her. Does this mean we’re getting a lot more of Larry (ugh, Larry) next season? Oh my God, just make it “The Larry & Pennsatucky Show” and I can officially cancel my Netflix subscription and give that $8 a month to orphaned puppies like Sarah McLachlan keeps demanding I do anyway.
There have been reports (from Variety, HuffPost, TV Guide) that Netflix is saying the story is “not accurate.” I am not a person who prays, but I am lighting a virtual candle for hope that Prepon has a change of heart. Still the always reliable @Snoodit at The Hollywood Reporter confirmed her exit. So sounds like we’re going to get a lot less Alex in the second season and that makes me sad beyond belief.
It should be noted that there’s nothing right now to indicate that Alex Vause is being intentionally written out of the show. Reports says Laura did not sign a contract to be a series regular, not that she wasn’t offered a contract to be a series regular. It is being left open for her to possibly return to the show in the future. So I don’t think the series is purposefully being de-gayed. Which is good. Though, how did Netflix not lock her into a multi-year deal beforehand? Shit, those “Glee” kids are enslaved for seven years (though, clearly, the studio retained the right to drop them earlier if they wanted).
The good news is the show isn’t just one person and there are a lot (like a lot – Nicky, Crazy Eyes, Taystee, Big Boo, Sophia, Red, et al) of other reasons to keep watching. This remains one of the most female-friendly and ethnically diverse programs on the air. And it still has lesbian and bisexual characters and the potential for same-sex relationships abound. But it also can’t be denied that the Piper and Alex storyline was at the heart of this merry band of incarcerated misfit and malcontents.
(SPOILERS, but seriously, if you haven’t binged-watched the whole thing at this point you have only yourself to blame.) That’s part of why the ending to the first season was so terribly gutting. In losing the possibility of Alex, Piper also loses touch with the part of her humanity that would keep her from, say, smashing in a methhead Jesus freak’s face. Alex, for all her flaws, was a big part of what was good about Piper – her wild impulses, her sense of adventure, her endless yearning. How can something that felt so inevitable end? Plus, think of all the hot shower sex we will be missing.
Also, we are legitimately going to have to have a wake for Alex Vause’s Glasses.
A world where Alex Vause isn’t constantly adjusting her glasses is a world without rainbows and unicorns. This is Tara Maclay bad. This is Dana Fairbannks bad. Is it raining somewhere in the world? Then it’s from the collective tears of lesbians soaking the Earth in our sorrow. Too much? Fuck everything, not enough. I will not be consoled. THIS IS ALEX VAUSE.
Will begging help? I am not above begging.
p.s. Yo, “Orphan Black,” don’t get any funny ideas and kill off Cosima or I take back every nice thing I ever said about this lesbian TV summer.
16 comments:
Not gonna lie, I felt worse when I saw HG with "Nate" in Warehouse 13. They better fucking fix that injustice in the 6 final episodes.
I truly don't know what to say any more, other than I'm trying not to be devastated about this. Let me remain in denial. At least until the truth of the matter emerges.
I've done my best not invest in a TV character, but Alex Vause was an unapologetic lesbian. A bad ass to boot. She was, yes a pragmatic character and a voice of reason within this incredibly brilliant show.
Rule No.2 ... Don't fall in love with a TV character.
*Ouchie* :-s
I guess our community hasn't been this crushed since the 2011 World cup final loss against Japan
Here are my thoughts ...
1. This story of Prepon not signing her contract might be have been leaked by NETFLIX in a way to put pressure on her to sign it
2. FARRAH FAWCET did the same thing way back when Charlie's Angels started. She was the breakout star of the show and she wanted more money and control but the studio could not get her to sign a new contract. They sued her for breach of contract when she refused to return to the show even though she had not signed the contact. These refusals are usually MONEY related.
3. I LOVE ALEX VAUSE ... But her and Pipers romance is limited and not likely to continue anyway in the show. In real life they did not meet up again till near the end of Pipers stay in prison. So Alex's return sure is possible or she could come back for FLASHBACKS about Pipers life. There is hope for her to continue in some way on the show in future seasons
4. I would LOVE to see how Piper deals with losing Alex AGAIN in her life and still be in Prison. I could see Piper becoming infatuated with a NEW inmate and just maybe stalk this new inmate like she was stalked by Crazy Eyes. How fun would that be !!! There are endless possibilities here for her to explore her queer side.
5. The real Piper was in 3 different prisons during her stay. The first was a minimum security prison in Conn. Then 2 maximum prisons in other states near the end. This is where she meet up with her former girlfriend. It seems to me this show will take many twists and turns during its hopefully LONG life. Many characters will come and go. Don't get to caught up with who signs on as a regular and who doesn't. I prefer quality over quantity.
I expect Larry to have the same amount to screen time as before. After all, the real Piper is married to her Larry. If you rewatch the episodes of OITNB you might notice Alex wasn't in it as much as you might think. Her scenes were QUALITY more the QUANTITY.
6. I personally LOVE ALEX VAUSE. I was never a fan of Prepon before OITNB but I'm a believer now. I hope she stays with the show in some capacity. But no matter what, she (Alex and her glasses) will be one of the best lesbian characters EVER on TV .. Or I should say INTERNET.
7. If Prepon leaves OITNB, I'm hopping for a ALEX VAUSE spinoff !!!!!! You hear me Netflix ???
I can't see myself watching this show, without that pairing or at least the possibility of it.
They had real chemistry why bother if they aren't both in many scenes together. SHIT!!
REPORTS SAY SHE'S STAYING!!!!
Oh god, nooooooo! Please say this is not true!!
I vote Yes!! for Alex Vause spinoff!! I want to see and explore more of this "vulnerable" side of Alex, Prepon likes to talk about.
P.S
LOL, though, Snarker, you ARE a great big lesbian unicorn leading the charge for great big lesbian feelings. I love it. :D
If Prepon leaves, she's going to be making a huge mistake. Iconic roles like Alex don't grow on trees. she's got mad chemistry with Taylor Schilling (by Prepon's own admission), the show is not only a huge hit (I'd love to know how many new Netflix subscribers signed on because of it)--it's now in a class with "Mad Men" and "Breaking Bad" as a Show You Love To Discuss Endlessly.
That having been said, while I'd miss Alex, it's really not the end of the world. If the show runners can come up with the ensemble they've got now, surely they can cast a new hot prison squeeze for Piper. And you know they will, because they know their demographic.
Before I sign off, I have to say ditto on less Larry. Both the actor and the character bug the hell out of me, and I'm sure neither resemble the real-life Larry in the least.
I really love Laura as Alex, but if we cannot have her, just dye Anna Torv's hair and take her...!
It's a no-go without Alex. Period.
I'm still waiting for an official response from Laura Prepon, until then I'll remain in denial.
But if it turns out to be true, then this is baffling. All around. Because I cannot comprehend why LP would ever want to leave a show that has critical acclaim, that is hugely popular and with such a great part to play as Alex Vause.
If it's true then this hiatus has become less painful because I'm considerably less excited about season 2.
It is such a fantastic and talented ensemble cast but losing the pivotal role of Alex would diminish the plot line for me. LP nailed the role and such a shame if she doesn't return. The sexual tension and chemistry between those two leads really rocked my boat! And OMG less Alex and more Larry will be a death knell ... I really thought Jenji was dancing to her own drummer and moving away from the book. I am still pining over DS Sam Murray and Doctor Lexy Price ... now Alex and Piper? Say it isn't so!
Dear Ms. Snarker,
You are a wonderment, your blog makes me laugh and think out loud. Thanks so much.
Back our to Alex dust up:
I would guess that LP is leaving due to the story arc not Scientology - she's an $$ actress for heavens sake. And I've know my fair share of them.
I thought she was a hottie who gave life to the character of Alex - it was a part that was, after all, well written and directed Forgive me, but Laura is not the uber best actress to walk the planet - but she's good and did make the character of Alex come alive like Lesbian catnip and for that - well - don't we all love her? I wish LP would be a semi regular, but we'll have to wait until Season 2 to follow the story of Alex "don't you fucking leave us Alex." I wish they'd keep her in the dryer.....spinning over Pipes....like I'm spinning over Alex.
1st omg how have I never commented on a post on ur awesome site...one of 2 I check everyday so....congrats love it....I am obsessed with oitnb and while I have to profess that I usually have a blonde thing I was knocked over by "alex" they had mad chemistry and it would be a travesty if she left...I vote for getting a new plaything for alex to make piper jealous and they can play it all season? I just hope she doesn't leave it will be a Tara moment all over again and I am still getting therapy after buffy let me down:)so yes don't you fucking leave us alex vause !!!
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