Naked Lady Athletes Monday

Now, I know these photos came out late last week. And I know you all have been emailing and tweeting and asking if I’ve seen them. And, yes, I’ve seen them. But I saved them, on purpose, to show them to you when you really needed it. Patience, you see, isn’t just a virtue. It’s a gift. Sure, they would have been fun to look at on Thursday or Friday or Saturday or Sunday. But Monday, Monday is when you need them – really, really need them. So, that’s where I come in. No need to thank me. Just, you know, don’t drool on the screen.

Hope Solo, Olympic & World Cup soccer goalieThat garden hose is a surrogate for us all. In our dreams.

Gretchen Bleiler, Olympic & X-Games snowboarderThose abs are like black diamond runs. Jesus. I’m going to need a moment.

Alicia Sacramone, Olympic gymnastGymnastics was my favorite sport growing up. Now the reasons are all coming together for me.

Julie Chu, Olympic hockey playerAll those pads were hiding this. I hate those pads.

Sylvia Fowles, WNBA playerThose are some lucky damn rocks.

Suzy Hotrod, co-captain of Team USA Roller DerbyI’d love to try roller derby, but I lack the requisite numbers of tattoos. Oh, and also I fear grievous bodily harm.

Stephanie Gilmore, four-time world surfing champSometimes staying dry is good too.

Belén Mozo, LPGA rookieShe appears to have lost her ball in the tough. And her clothes.

Kelly Kulick, professional bowlerI’m trying really hard to think of a good naughty 7-10 split joke.

Natasha Hastings, Olympic sprinterAnyone else feel like putting a bow-chicka-bow beat on the “Chariots of Fire” theme?

Vera Zvonareva, No. 3 ranked women’s tennis playerI’m calling this love-love.

Gretchen & HopeEverything is obliques and nothing hurts.

Your Monday is looking up, no? See, timing is everything.