Tuesday, August 31, 2010

SGALGG & GGALGG: Emmys Edition

Wow, thems were some gay Emmys. Yes, indeedy. From Jane Lynch to “Modern Family” to that all-singing, all-spectacular Gleetastic opening number, the show was a merry and gay affair. Now, digesting the full magnitude of a major award show always takes me two days. The first day is to go over the nuts and bolts of who won this and who said that. Then the second day I can just sit back and devour the pretty. And, kittens, there was so much pretty. Let’s start with the gay gals and their lady loves (sorry, I can’t say lovers – to quote my favorite Emmy loser Tina Fey, “that word bums me out unless it’s between the words ‘meat’ and ‘pizza.’”) and then we’ll progress to the straight gals. But no matter where they stood on the Kinsey Scale, a whole lotta ladies were acting like gay gals at the Emmys. Can you blame them, I mean, we are pretty awesome.


Jane Lynch & Lara EmbryThe love, it burns! I love them together. I love that Jane kissed Lara when she won. I love that she also said “I love you my wife, Lara” on stage. You want to know why gay marriage matters? This is why gay marriage matters. Love.
Wanda & Alex SykesThey look like a fresco of Greek goddesses painted onto an ancient wall somewhere being uncovered by an archeologist who thrills with each brush stroke as she carefully reveals their beauty from underneath centuries of earth and time. Sorry, let me amend that, a smoking hot fresco of Greek goddesses. Hot damn, those girls – and Alex and Wanda look good, too.

Tina Fey & Mariska HargitayThis is becoming like a thing between these two. It is like the mere sight of each other in sleek, sparkly gowns is too much for them to take and then that hand goes from firmly around the waist to, well, firmly everywhere. Maybe Mariska and Tina are the real-life Alex and Olivia. Ship that, people.
[Hat tip, Allegra!]

Sofia Vergara & Julie BowenIf you thought Mariska had a firm grip on Tina, check out Julie’s grip on Sofia . You’d need the Jaws of Life to get her hand off of her. Plus dude in the back is totally, “Hell, yeah.”

Claire Danes & Julia Ormond
Claire looks like she has had a bit too much champagne and has just whispered “Take me home” into Julia’s ear. Also, shoot Julia, where have you been hiding all that gorgeous these last few years?

Christina Hendricks & January JonesI want to say something terribly witty about how they look together, but I’ve forgotten how to form words.

Toni Collette & Julia Louis DreyfusI like to think that the Emmy losers console each other backstage. And by “console,” I mean “make out.”

Padma Lakshmi & Gail SimmonsWhen people say food porn, this is what they’re picturing.

Heather Morris & Naya Rivera
Brittana, you’ve got me wrapped around whichever finger you want to use in whatever situation you feel like using it. Ahem.

Mariana Klaveno, Kristin Bauer & Anna PaquinThe Bill-Sookie-Eric sandwich isn’t the only threesome worth talking about on “True Blood.” Not by a long shot.

Amy Poehler, Aubrey Plaza & Tina FeySpeaking of threesomes, gay sexy vampires aren’t the only ones who look good having them. Let’s make this “30 Rock” meets “Parks and Recreation” very special crossover happen.

Archie Panjabi & the Emmy statuetteShe is going to take it behind the garage door and get it pregnant, Tracy Jordan style.

Bonus I: Best. Emmy. Picture. Ever.Tina Fey, Amy Poehler & Jon Hamm dancing their asses off. I’ll be honest, that’s a threesome I could totally get behind, too.

Bonus II: Best. Tina. Video. Ever.
After dancing her ass off with Amy and Jon while downing what I can only assume was copious amounts of champagne, Tina goes to find her limo. God, that giggle. That hair.
What it looks like when New York gets drunk, y’all. Suck it, nerds!


Anonymous said...

Fantastic night for a lot of wonderful ladies.

But really the drunk-dancing Tina/Amy/Hamm pictures are the most epic of all.

Anonymous said...

It's nice to see that gay ladies leading the pack when it comes to open, honest relationship between themselves and the public.

URBAN Sapphic said...

Usually I don't like the SGALGG posts but on Access Hollywood one of the Hosts said the who was covering the Emmys said to Sphia Vergara that she is NOT gay buit she would be for Sophia (Well Hello there).

Without missing a beat Sophia went right along with the flirtation and said that they would have beautiful children together.

It's coolness and realness like Sophia's that won the show the best comedy award.

Can't wait for the new season!

Anonymous said...

Julia Ormond. yeah. Sigh.
(having a hard time with Claire right now with all that blonde and all that eyelashing growing business - it's like her brain got sucked out or something).

Kathryn said...

Ah, I love the SGALGG and GGALGG.

Anonymous said...

wonderful, as always, Dorothy! Wondering why nobody is mentioning (maybe there were no pictures or its "too soon" the new couple alert-- Nurse Jackie's Linda Wallem and.... MELISSA ETHERIDGE. In attendance at The Emmys-- together!!!

Paloma K. said...

Far, far, too many straight girls.

I think it's "coolness" and "realness" to actually have a real, live, open, gay relationship. But pretending for the cameras? Not cool.

vrgriffith said...

Are there any clips up on youtube somewhere? I was watching pre-season football.Would love to see that Jane Lynch kiss.

Anonymous said...

Heather and Naya! Their friendship(?) is adorable!

ravaj said...

fyi i just found out i share a birthday with padma lakshmi and you are the only person i know who would appreciate that!

ravaj said...

fyi i just found out i share a birthday with padma lakshmi and you are the only person i know who would appreciate that!

Anonymous said...

i hope everyone noticed tina's cute little nude bra strap hanging down on her arm below her dress sleeve as she got into the car. awesome how much fun she was having!

beebee said...

My ability to form words is wiped away by Ms Hendricks as well. Ahhh....

lookatthestar said...

god..is it me or did Heather Morris look more like Beth Riesgraf from Leverage? *drooling*

Norma Desmond said...

New York drunk is SO much more fun than LA drunk... I know from much experience.

Anonymous said...

I was a little surprised that Anna Paquin was listed with the SGALGG in this posting because she recently came out as bisexual. Which means she's not a straight girl after all.

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Anonymous said...

Since Anna Paquin is in a straight relationship (married to a man) it's right that she be included with the straight girls.