Tina Fey Thursday

Yes, I am a broken record. But I am a broken record playing perhaps the best songs in the world. So, even if you hear it a million times, you’ve still got to like that tune. And with that, hey, did you see Tina Fey in Esquire? Now, every time (I mean it – every. single. time.) I read an interview with her I am reminded exactly why I love her so fucking much. Obviously, she is attractive (though in a refreshingly non-paint-by-numbers way), but I love that she is mostly celebrated because she is so damn smart and so damn funny. This is the exact opposite of why many women make it into the pages of a magazine like Esquire. Most women get celebrated for their looks and then if she happens to have a brain or a sense of humor in that pretty little head, bonus!

Tina’s Esquire cover story (more like a series of her quotes – no wonder I love it so) is a fun read. So, um, just read the whole thing. Here is a sampling of her best bits.

On agreeing to the “Tina Gone Wild” photoshoot:

The idea of the photo shoot is something like my wild night out. The irony being that I don’t do that. I got an e-mail [from Esquire] with a list of the potential setups, and my e-mail back was like, Well, I need to decline being handcuffed to a bed. I won’t straddle anyone. I won’t make out with a cop. There are certain things, I totally get them as a premise. And they’re all good fun, and if I were a young single model, they would be appropriate, but, you know, I’m a mom. And my kid’s going to find this someday. I don’t want to be handcuffed to a bed in Esquire. What are you nuts? I’m not going to make out with a cop that I’m handcuffed to. I got to get my kid into kindergarten. I guess that’s more of a Montessori way of learning, when they handcuff you to things.

On what she wants women going into comedy to know:

One, you don’t have to be weird of quirky to get your job done. You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it’s the truth.

On the advice she gave at a girls’ school commencement:

If you find yourself two years from now at spring break, don’t lift your shirt up. And if you do, have your own camera. The foolishness is that there’s some disgusting middleman. They’re your boobs. At least have the sense to film it yourself and get some money from it.

On how she got interested in comedy:

…because I wasn’t the pretty girl in middle school, and I was trying to figure out if there was another move besides going super-all-the-way nerd. It didn’t occur to me to be the slutty girl because there were no takers.

On being a “thinking-man’s” sex symbol:

What I've come to realize is that when people say, ‘The thinking man’s whatever’ — there’s no such thing. The thinking man also wants to fuck Megan Fox.

On the best doughnuts in the world:

That’s Peter Pan doughnuts in Brooklyn. We shot nearby once for “30 Rock.” It’s white cream-filled power doughnut. And, I really believe, when I first tried it, if I had a penis, I would put it in this doughnut. I finally understand what you guys are thinking about and what motivates you guys.

On 4-year-old daughter Alice’s career aspirations:

(She) has a pretend hair and nail salon, and I was doing her hair and makeup, I said, “Hello ma’am. What’s your name? And what do you do?” And she said, “I get paid to dance at parties.”And I said, “Oh, no. That’s a terrible, terrible answer.”

See, now isn’t that a song you could dance to forever?