Saturday, March 22, 2008

Pre-L: Loyal and True

L512: “Loyal and True”
I cannot tell you how relieved I am that this is the last time I’ll hear “and looooooove” for the next 12 months. Four years later and I still want to rip off my own ears each time I hear that damn song. Speaking of damned things, how about Mama Chaiken’s title for the finale? Loyal and True? Oh, kiddies, you just know a whole lot of disloyal and untrue is gonna be happening up in here. And with that, please enjoy the last of the girls in tight dresses.

1. Beware serpents bearing forbidden fruit.2. Welcome to the carpool lane of cuteness.3. Well, that’s one way to find out you got the job.4. Is she strapped down to stop her from stealing scenes?5. Hey, Haven’t I Seen This Movie Before I: “High Art”6. Uhm, I hear their dental plan is great?7. Minnie Driver Helena returns!8. One week with Shane and you too could look like a lesbian.9. Glad to see those crazy kids could work it out.10. Someone wishes she had kept that gun.11. Turns out their dental plan was no big whoop.12. Say hello to your crazed lesbian fan base, Alice.13. Adele: Now with even more evil! (Black cigarette of doom sold separately.)14. Lesbians on scooters? Someone alert Cute Overload, again.15. The first gasps of Lesbian Twinsie Syndrome.16. Oh, hai. I am in ur galleriez. Embarsin ur deanz.17. Hey, Haven’t I Seen This Movie Before II: “Say Anything”18. We’re cool, right? Right?19. I’d take that as a no.20. Revenge is a dish best served multimedia.21. Helena Warbucks realizes why they brought her back.22. No my first name ain’t “Lover,” it’s Cindi. Miss Tucker if you’re nasty.23. Say hello to Ruth Bader Ginsberg for me, Molly.24. Let Mama T kiss it and make it all better.25. Who knew Begonia was Adele’s favorite flower?26. Hey, Haven’t I Seen This Movie Before III: “Dirty Dancing.”27. Forget Waldo, where’s meta?28. Ah, look at all the lonely people.29. A beehive, really? Where was Jenny hiding, 1952?30. The very definition of unsafe sex.31. Who you calling too gay?32. Vipers don’t love, Shane, they poison.
New Guestbian Count: 0
Best Line: “Thank you for putting up with … me.” -- Jenny to her cast and crew (and, by proxy, Ms. Snarker to her loyal and true Pre-L readers).


Anonymous said...

Qoth Miss Snarker:
"I cannot tell you how relieved I am that this is the last time I’ll hear “and looooooove” "

Word, and us here are all about done with the snaggle-toothed ratty beast the series has become. Think we may quit while we're still in tolerance credit; your precap has answered all the basic questions for the last ep. pretty much. This reader is so pleased that the Bette toxic attractor (gorgeous as she most certainly is) appears to be getting a good public humiliation at the hands of the one most entitled to deliver it.
I am, of course, most cheered to see that Shane is still delivering the goods! What a stunner for a playa.

Please accept our thanks for your most entertaining (as always) observations on this season, more so because I doubt you found over much inspiration from some pretty flat eps this time round.

Anonymous said...

twinsie syndrome happened last episode too with jodi and bette. apparently matching outfits is the new lesbian studded belt.

Dancemaple Chang said...

i'll miss those Pre-Ls,and thank you for smoothing my impatience away. almost forget how i live life without seeing Jennifer Beals once a week. i really need to be a crazy fan.

Nanc Twop said...

These?... Inspired!
13. Adele: Now with even more evil! (Black cigarette of doom sold separately.)

16. Oh, hai. I am in ur galleriez. Embarsin ur deanz.

29. A beehive, really? Where was Jenny hiding,1952?

Great laughs, your wit is right on the Dot. (insert smiley here, if desired) Thanks!

Sera Alastia-Promit said...

Loves the commentary. I will sorely miss tuning in early every saturday, when I could be sleeping, just because I want to know what's goin' down on the home front.

BUT, woah woah woah, is that Shane going down on whatsherface?!?! I think character flaw. Shane may be a slut, but she would never do that to Jenny.

should be a fun finale... I hope it's better than last seasons. I like cliff hangers, and last season felt more like a wrap up. Except for Jenny... it always hangs on Jenny.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the little previews and just enough snark to make a girl chuckle.

Anonymous said...

Tried to resist this but am powerless to do so:

Shane, you ignorant slut!

(Apologies to Jane Curtain)

Anonymous said...

really not liking the tasha alice cliffhanger at all! disgusted at it really! have loved ur "pre" blogs though. will be lookin out for them next year if i continue to watch the show (which will be a no go if rose rollins is not in all the final eps)

Natazzz said...

Shane Shane Shane...the only thing you still had going for you was that you were a loyal friend....Oh well.

Anonymous said...

Wait, that is not Shane with Niki, is it?!

Anonymous said...

Oh, hai. I am in ur galleriez. Embarsin ur deanz.

I LOL'd and slapped my knee simultaniously.

Kudos, Miss snarker...Kudos.

Anonymous said...

With photo #32 and my knowledge of the impending doom to be rained down upon us by Illene Chaiken, I'm not sure that I'm looking forward to this season finale at all.
I can only hope that next years 8 episodes will actually give us only the best of what we the viewers actually hope to see happen, but then again, if Illene actually listened to the fans that damn opening song would have long ago been banished!
Your pre-cap and the AfterEllen post reviews by blog and vlog are better than the show itself, and that sadly says a whole lot!
I am thankful only for some of the great performances elicited from some of my favorite L Word actresses, especially that of Leisha Hailey, Jennifer Beals, and most especially that of Mia Kirsher who has had to overcome all the stuff that has been written for her character... a lesser actress would never have survived this long!

Site Admin said...

I actually enjoyed this season more than any season previous (well except for the first, of course). I loved Tina's confidence, Jenny's craziness, and the overall feel of the friendship between them all. What I did not love was the continued portrayal of Shane as some kind of lesbian lothario. There has been no real character development for her in years, and how long is the promiscuous lover of many supposed to be appealing? In the real world, knowing that anyone had so casually slept with women the way she does would send me running in the opposite direction! It is time for Shane to grow up.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, I've looked forward to these updates all season. :)

I laughed so hard at the Jodi caption lol

Anonymous said...

Your Pre-Ls are a big part of the overall enjoyment of TLW experience. The show, for better or worse, is an experience and between the weekend visit here and then a nice little side trip to AfterEllen...I get juicy snarky goodness that keeps on giving. Thank you! :)

Amanda said...

Mmm Black cloves. Good choice. And I'm ready for the theme song to end as well.

saturae said...

#16 made me snort. Quite loudly.
Thank you.

Chavela Movie said...

The cigarettes are Sherman's MCD. They're delish.

Anonymous said...

Mia kirshner has been amazing this season.. what with all the character inconsistencies going on she always finds the funny in jennys directorial egotism. And the last scene was heartbreaking.

Do you think its shane shes in love with? I hope so.. just give them a somewhat less drama led finale season please!

Anonymous said...

the very definition of unsafe sex ha ha ha

Anonymous said...

"30. The very definition of unsafe sex."

Aaaaand Ms. Snarker for the win! Best. Line. Ever.