Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Wonder pants

Well, shit. The shiny porn pants aren’t gone. While we all let out an enormous sigh of relief when it appeared Wonder Woman had ditched her PVC pants for a more practical, stretchy, dark-blue pair, it appears our relief was ill founded. The porn pants are still there. Repeat, porn pants are go. (Man, that is going to bring some interesting keyword searches today. Helllloooo, perverts!)

After we got to see Wonder Woman’s Adrianne Palicki move it in what appeared to be a tweaked costume, NBC President Robert Greenblatt shot us down like the Invisible Jet in hostile territory. He told TVLine.com yesterday:
“There was an initial outcry about the long pants – you know, skintight pants as opposed to those little shorts [worn by Lynda Carter in the original TV series. But the shorts were always planned. They are actually used in the final confrontation when she beats Veronica Cale (played by Elizabeth Hurley).”

Um, dude, no one was mad that the pants were long. People were mad that the pants were shiny. Also, porny. Greenblatt said Wonder Woman has had three costumes all along: The shiny pants, the stretchy pants and the hotpants. And he says for all of our gnashing and wailing, nothing has changed.

“We haven’t made any changes from what was planned. But it’s always good to hear the feedback. I’d rather have people really passionately engaged in conversation, even if they hate something, than be kind of bored.”

Does this guy know how to play to the fans or what? No. 1, I have totally misunderstood your complaints. No. 2, I don’t really care what your complaints are because we’re not making changes. No. 3, watch my show anyway, suckers!

Greenblatt also went on to praise series creator and writer David E. Kelley, whose script for the pilot has been widely panned. Like, super duper, all over the place panned. I understand there have been some rewrites since, but I have the terrible suspicion that the line “Big tits save lives!” will still make the cut. I love boobs as much as the next gal (no, that’s a lie – I love them more), but I wasn’t really looking for Titty Empowerment from the new Wonder Woman. We have Helen Mirren for that.

As for the shiny pants, I’m starting to fear that Wonder Woman’s real foe will not be Hurley’s Veronica Cale. Instead, I think the real villain of the first season will be a lingering, chronic yeast infection brought on by non-breathable fabrics. Say hello to Wonder Woman, brought to you by Monistat.

15 comments:

Memphis said...

Maybe it's just me (I dunno -- I'm not a doctor), but there is not one. redeemable. aspect of that outfit. It's awkward. Like chicks that use Halloween as an excuse to dress slutty...but...out of practice slutty. To each her own, I guess.

Anonymous said...

This is LITERALLY the funniest and most snarky post I have read on your blog ever. I bow down to wit. Hells yes that is a pun.

also. Christina Hendricks in a play with NPH for Sondheim. Google this shit.

Anonymous said...

"Instead, I think the real villain of the first season will be a lingering, chronic yeast infection brought on by non-breathable fabrics."

I didn't know whether to guffaw or let out a great big EWWWWWWW.

Ms Snarker you have done it again!

Heather Anne Hogan said...

It's not every day you get to read a lede like "Well, shit. The shiny porn pants aren’t gone."

<3

drudolph said...

I'm thinking Dr. Scholl's might want to sign on as a sponsor, too. Those are not easy-to-run-in, criminal-chasing shoes. (Of course, if you can stun people with the glare from your shiny pants, you might not need to be able to run very fast.)

folkpants said...

How can Wonder Woman be bothered to fight crime and carry around complete wardrobe changes? She's not hosting a damn awards show.

I am very afraid of what this show will be. Perhaps we should boycott watching and only participate via gifs and stills on tumblir.

Anonymous said...

This is how WonderWoman should look.

http://img140.imageshack.us/i/wonderwomanw.jpg/

Anonymous said...

NBC President Robert Greenblatt, like most people in the entertainment industry live in their own world. Surrounded by Yes Men. The only thing that pierces their bubble is the bottom falling out of their bottom line. So when Wonder Woman crashes & burns like The Bionic Woman did they'll scratch their heads & say, "See, no one wants to watch shows about women."
To that I say, write better shows and I'll watch. If we don't demand better representation, we don't get it! Instead they'll keep churning out crap and think they're doing us a favor... Well, thanks, but no thanks. I'll find something else to do with my time.

Carmen SanDiego said...

in Episode 2 Wonder Woman will defend Planned Parenthood because she needs an exam for Yeast Infection.
After all the Justice League doesn't provide Health Insurance. Superman doesn't get sick, the Wonder Twins are aliens, no one cares about Aquaman and Batman is a millionaire....

KC said...

To be honest, I've never quite ever forgiven the man for canceling Dead Like Me to replace it with that awful Kirstie Alley show, Fat Actress. (And yes, I know that was several years ago; I can hold a grudge when it comes to tv)

ERRRRRRRN said...

The revised one? PAJAMA JEANS!

Itty Bitty said...

Well, if WW ever gets the Save Our Show treatment, Monistat can be the mail-in.

P.S.: "Titty Empowerment" is my new favorite EVERYTHING! The Komen race is this weekend here in Indy and I may have to get a t-shirt made up in a hurry.

Anonymous said...

Just because her creator was an old-school bondage perv, modern Wonder Woman shouldn't continue to be relegated to fighting in star spangled strapless lingerie and go-go boots.

Diana is associated with the Olympian gods, and is arguably more powerful than Superman. She deserves some badass Greek-inspired armor in badass colors.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_j9PQWPKjVZs/TDRAm2oqbHI/AAAAAAAAB5E/SYcYVyu8pFw/s1600/791204-donna_super.jpg

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4OYGjUrdllo/STIJ7kLtlCI/AAAAAAAAMqA/euj0-Q9hgSw/s1600-h/wonder_woman.jpg

Butterflied said...

I have to say: Emily Deschanel. Bones. Wonder Woman fancy dress. OMG.

Anonymous said...

I think the outfit is hot