L605: “Litmus Test”
Life is filled with countless ironies, large and small. That this episode should be titled “Litmus Test” is one of those singularly decisive examples. Because, as the opening credits rolled, I knew immediately that for whatever inevitable flaws I'd have to endure, this would not be one of those episodes that made me want to voluntarily drive nails through my eyes. And that singular reason, or litmus test if you will, comes down to two simple words: Angela Robinson. Thank God, someone who gets the ridiculousness of it all. And with that, shall we? Oh, and don't forget the popcorn.
1. Can you hear us now?2. Yeah, suck it, we do read the paper.3. Who Wants Jenny Dead: “Schecter is so fucking dead!”4. All your ideas is belong to me.5. God, where is that dinghy when you need it?6. This is your brain, this is your brain on Schecter.7. This, however, is your brain on third-wheel crush.8. Homo says what?9. Look, honey, trust us, three is not your number.10. Dude, don't ask me. I just cash my checks.11. How stupid is this season, let me count the ways.12. Having run out of women to woo, Shane builds a time machine.13. Ilene wants to do what in the final season? Get out of here.14. Gonna wash that woman right out of your...ahem.15. Botox is bad, m'kay?16. Wait, this isn't a funeral?17. You and me, we're fucking done professionally.18. Bette, chill. I got this.19. That beat down you just got, that was my woman.20. Welcome to the mission to ascertain the disposition and intent of one Miss Dylan Moreland.21. Dylan is no Lara. Niki is no Shane.22. I know, they keep putting me in tank tops. It's fantastic!23. Consider......this......mission......accomplished.24. Never mind panic, this is drama on the dance floor.25. Oh, just get naked already you three.
New Guestbian Count: 0
Most True Statement: “Jenny you are so fucking full of shit.” – Alice to Jenny
Least True Statement: “I am not being unreasonable.” – Jenny to Shane
Most Ominous Foreshadowing I: “Bette knows that if she were to ever cheat on me then that would be the end of us.” – Tina to Kelly
Most Ominous Foreshadowing II: “If Jenny wasn't in the picture, maybe things would be different.” – Shane to Niki
This Episode, In a Nutshell: “I don't know. I mean this seem a little over the top?” – Helena about Mission: Dylan
Most Obnoxious Reminder: Don't forget to vote every 24 hours for yours truly in The Lezzys.