L606: “Lactose Intolerant”
Wow, could the episode's title be more appropriate? As someone who suffers from the aforementioned affliction, I can tell you that this week's installment had the exact same effect on me as drinking a tall, cold glass of milk. Bloating, discomfort, gurgling, pain and the sudden and uncontrollable need to evacuate one's bowels. In short, it stinks. So grab the antacids and keep a clear path to the bathroom. You're going to need it.
1. It's a Mickey Mouse operation, so why not sound like him too.2. How many licks does it take to get to the center of the crazy?3. Gee, what could possibly go wrong here?4. Oh, Jenny. Jenny could go wrong here.5. People who lie, frame and extort should maybe be a little more understanding about the verifying of intentions. I'm just saying.6. WWJD: “I'm going to fucking kill your girlfriend!”7. I don't care how good the sex is, it can't be worth this.8. I hope Daniela TPed Ilene's house after this.9. I am in ur kitchn, flirtin with ur new gurl.10. If only this pump would suck the ego out of Mama C.11. I don't know nothing about birthin' no babies.12. Helena demonstrates the only way to survive this season.13. Thank fucking God.14. Hello, Tank Top Tuesday: Sweaty Threesome Edition15. Shit, did Tasha just tip?16. Transference, look it up.17. Is showering naked part of newbie hazing? 'Cause, I approve.18. What? We were just doing our taxes.19. Leave it to Bette and Tina to hire a straight handy dyke.20. Wait, isn't Shane a hairdresser. Now she's Annie Leibovitz?21. Hands! Hands!22. Ass! Ass!23. Hey, Kelly, her eyes are considerably higher.24. What do you mean? I am moving my forehead.25. That third wheel just turned into a third rail.26. Oysters have forever been ruined for me.27. Someone get that poor girl a milk crate.28. Sunset meet high tide.29. Who is the third wheel now?30. Shane sees the light, promptly uses it to cheat.31. Transference, seriously, it's in the dictionary.32. Damn, don't overreact. Next time I'll to eat a breath mint first.33. Beware botox bearing bubbly.34. The importance of camera angles has never been clearer.35. The first and only time I have ever hated an iPhone.
New Guestbian Count: 1-ish, Weezie the straight handy dyke (Tanja Dixon-Warren)
Jenny Is Nuts Line of the Week: “Oh no, Jenny's not malicious. Just completely and totally evil.” – Bette to Tina
Jenny Is Hilariously Nuts Line of the Week: “I know they're not a couple, but they look like a couple. They're just both tall.” – Jenny about Belly (™ Scribegrrrl)
Alice Is Just Hilarious Line of the Week: “Wow, looks like a giant cat threw up, huh.” – Alice admiring the art.
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