Let’s play ‘Doucheball’

Sweet Jesus, I Hate Chris Matthews. Amen, sister, amen. If you’ll indulge me for a minute, I’d like to get all political up in here. You see, a funny thing happened between the Iowa caucuses and New Hampshire primaries. That funny thing being the long-standing misogyny that exists within the good ol’ boys club of political reporting showed its true, women-should-be-seen-and-not-heard colors. And at the head of the class in this frat boy school of journalism is extreme douche and muppet head (seriously, doesn’t his big gaping scar of a mouth look exactly like a muppet’s when open?) Chris Matthews .

Now, I watch MSNBC pretty regularly. Whenever big news breaks or election results come in, I flip back and forth between MSNBC and CNN, so I’m pretty familiar with the kind of stuff Matthews is made of. Suffice it to say, it’s not pretty. But after the atrocious coverage of the first two primaries, I flat-out can’t take it anymore.

Matthews’s long dislike for the Clintons is well-documented, but his unabashed hatred of Hillary is beyond reason. He has called her everything from “uppity” to “witchy,” from “Nurse Ratched” to “Madame Defarge” and, believe it or not, a “She Devil” complete with horns. He has labeled those who support her “castratos in the eunuch chorus” and even posed the questions “Is she a convincing mom?”

And the morning after all the pundits and pollsters got it so spectacularly wrong in New Hampshire, the morning after he himself said he would “never underestimate Hillary Clinton again,” he went and said this:

“I think the Hillary appeal has always been somewhat about her mix of toughness and sympathy for her. Let’s not forget, and I’ll be brutal, the reason she’s a US Senator, the reason she’s a candidate for President, the reason she may be a front runner, is that her husband messed around. That’s how she got to be a Senator from New York. We keep forgetting it. She didn’t win it on her merit, she won because everybody felt, my God, this woman stood up under humiliation, right? That’s what happened! That’s how it happened.”

Wow, Chris, way to never underestimate Hillary Clinton again. I mean, how could she have won on her merits? She is just a woman, right? That’s so outrageous I’m going to let you watch the clip lest you think I’m taking it out of context.

Right, so if you think your blood is boiling now, then watch how with one simple gesture, he both belittles and negates Hillary’s power.

Oh no, your eyes did not deceive you. He PINCHED HER CHEEK. A woman who could be leader of the free world and he pulled a move reserved only for your grandma and Great Aunt Ida. The fine folks at Wonkette called the gesture a way to assert dominance over a powerful woman and double dog dared Matthews to pinch the cheek of every candidate he talked to from now on. “Otherwise, I will be forced to think that you believe we’re all totally ‘cute,’ like babies and kitties and puppies are, and that you believe we’re likely to be equally effective in positions of power.”

But, his hatred of all women and the dismissive of objectifying manner with which he treats them, even his coworkers, is beyond the realm of decency, not to mention professionalism. The Daily Kos has compiled a rundown of some of his most outrageous remarks. A sampling, please be sure your blood pressure medication is nearby before reading:

During the potential First Ladies debate, he said most people watching Michelle Obama “stopped listening a half-hour in, and they noticed how pretty she is -- Michelle -- and they said, ‘I like the fact he’s got this pretty wife. He’s happily married. I like that.’” Wow, he made it a whole half hour listening to a woman speak? Someone give that man a medal.

To conservative radio host Laura Ingraham: “I get in trouble for this, but you’re great looking, obviously. You’re one of the Gods’ gifts to men in this country. But also, you are a hell of a writer.” Because, of course, all pretty women were put on Earth as a gift to men.

And, one more thing, after getting stock market news from his colleague, CNBC anchor Erin Burnett, he asked her to lean into the camera:

Words. I have no words.

Look, I don’t want to get into a debate about Hillary Clinton’s virtues or perceived lack thereof. Personally, I like the woman. Granted I haven’t completely decided between Hillary and Barack, but whoever wins the nomination will happily and heartily receive my support. But what I will not stand for is this insidious, inescapable and unchecked misogyny that runs through the press coverage of her. It is not OK. We are not amused. And no amount of cheek pinching will make it better.

p.s. Since I know you’re all mad as hell and not going to take it anymore, why not fire off an email to MSNBC and let them know where exactly Chris Matthews can stick it?