Oscars So Oscars

So, that happened? In a year with ample great films directed by women (Greta’s “Little Women,” Lulu’s “The Farewell,” Céline’s “Portrait of a Lady on Fire,” Marielle’s “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood,” Lorene’s “Hustlers,” Olivia’s “Booksmart”) and truly great performances by women of color (Lupita in “Us,” Awkwafina in “The Farewell,” J-Lo in “Hustlers”) how is it even mathematically possible that only one person of color was nominated in the acting categories and a big, ugly zero women were nominated for best directing in for this year’s Oscars?

Oh, yeah, because the Academy is 84% white and 69% male. That’s how. It’s always fun to hear folks complain about “identity politics” when straight white men have been supporting/promoting/celebrating/voting for other straight white men for, I dunno, fucking centuries.

I mean, apparently “Little Women” directed itself. How else can you explain its multiple best acting nominations, its best adapted screenplay nomination and its best picture nomination – but it’s lack of best director nods? Women, we’re amazing – we can make movies without ever needing to direct a single soul. What can’t we do?

Also, ScarJo getting two, yes two, nominations and Lupita, J-Lo, Awkwafina getting none? And the one black acting nomination coming for yet another role about slavery because those appear to be the only black narratives the Academy consistently recognizes? Because we really, really should.

Music Monday: Good As Lizzo

A new year, a new decade, that same Lizzo love. In these first few days of this decade, please give yourself the gift of radical self love that is Lizzo. I can’t help but feel joyful when her music comes on. And all this past year through the bullshit that is everyday, she has helped make 2019 bearable, and even a lot of fun. So I hope this makes you feel as good as hell as it did me. Happy first Music Monday of the 2020s, all.

p.s. She did this song on SNL in a shiny tux. Which is also good as hell. Enjoy, take deux.



p.p.s. While the Jillian Michaels of the world are attacking her body, Lizzo is using it to help victims of the devastating brushfires in Australia. So, rest assured, Our Lady of 100%That Bitch will be keep fucking things up to the tempo for good in 2020.

My Weekend Crush

Is it just me, or does each photo of “Portrait of a Lady on Fire” director Céline Sciamma and actresses Adèle Haenel and Noémie Merlant together get progressively gayer? After shamefully leaving the trio out of this week’s SGALGG post (or, more accurately, the GGALGG part of SGALGG), consider this my mea culpa. Here are the three women looking So Very Gay at various public events throughout the year, culminating with their appearance at last weekend’s Golden Globes.



Whew. It’s enough to make a gay gal want to watch this gorgeous movie again. And again. And again. And, well, you know. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: 007 Edition

James Bond films were one of my guilty pleasures growing up. Sean Connery’s Bond films were always my favorite because, well, duh. But the whole rah-rah chauvinism of the franchise, with its rampant sexism and misogyny, have made it harder to hold onto that warm nostalgic glow.



So I’m quite happy to hear that the new 007 is a black woman because this is 2020 and it’s time. Now, don’t get too excited. James Bond is still straight, white James Bond. But Lashana Lynch will apparently assume the codename/number in the new Bond film “No Time to Die.” You might remember Lashana in her role as Mrs. Captain Marvel.



So bring on the next generation. Let them be badass. Give them cool codenames. Suit them up with cool gadgets. And let them be lady magnets – but without all that sexism, misogyny stuff.



p.s. No Pre-L this week, as you can see. Screeners won't go out until Sunday.

SGALGG/GGALGG: Globes Edition

Well, I’m just going to pretend Ricky Gervais didn’t twat it up with his general everything (fuck that transphobe). Otherwise it was a night of some heartfelt speeches, and some deserving winners. A few baffling winners. And a ton of just staggeringly talented actresses all in one room together. I mean, Carol Aird and Therese Belivet and Queen Anne and Lady Sarah were all there. And many real-life couples as well. Beanie & Bonnie! Ellen & Portia! Kate McKinnon & Everyone In Their Dreams. So in a way it was really the Golden Lesbians, as it should be.

SGALGG

Cate Blanchett & Nicole Kidman

Look, Cate, I’m no Therese. But I have other qualities, I promise.

Charlize Theron & Reese Witherspoon

Reese looks like she’s about to climb Charlize and can you blame her?

Glenn Close & Jennifer Lopez

J-Lo, please cast Glenn in “Hustlers 2.”

Michelle Williams & Busy Phillips

I know they’re just “best friends,” but the way Busy cried at Michelle’s beautiful speech was pure love.

Sian Clifford & Phoebe Waller-Bridge

Yes, I know they play sisters. Still hot.

Olivia Colman & Kaitlyn Dever

I’m not a big May-December person, but if Patrick Stewart can marry a woman 39 years his junior why the fuck not? Like, this is only a 22 year difference, so…

Salma Hayek & Patricia Arquette

They didn’t do anything particularly gay, but boobs so you’re welcome.

Amy Poehler & Kerry Washington

Amy just tested Kerry’s boob tape. With consent. Always with consent.

Helen Mirren & Phoebe Waller-Bridge

Dame Helen is not above flirting to get into Phoebe’s next project.

Helen Mirren & Meryl Streep

And with Meryl, too. Shameless, shameless.

Tiffany Haddish & Awkwafina

Put them in a movie together. Make them girlfriends. What? I thought we were just saying wishes.

GGALGG

Kate McKinnon & Emily Lynne

Fine, it’s Kate’s sister, but I was fine with it for Phoebe & Sian so why the hell not.

Beanie Feldstein & Bonnie Chance Roberts

Say it all together with me, “Awwww.” Also definitely not her sister.

Ellen DeGeneres & Portia de Rossi

Ellen & Portia seem to be competing for the most Big Top Energy.

Tank Top Tuesday

A new year, same great tank tops. This is a vintage Bette Porter tank top, but no matter the time period a tank top is timeless. So as we enter this new decade, rejoice in the knowledge that a tank top remains right for almost any occasion. And always something to look forward to.

Daisy Ridley

I have not seen “Rise of Skywalker” yet, but I guess I will eventually.

Brittany Snow & lapmate Anna Kendrick

Sure, ladies, that’s a “microphone.”

Kat Barrell

When is “Wynonna Earp” coming back again?

Alison Brie & Brie Larson

I…I just realized these are two weighty bries.

Tessa Thompson

Can’t wait to see the King of New Asgard in action.

Katie McGrath

High Ponytail Villainess Level 10: Achieved.

Gillian Anderson

I miss Detective Superintendent Stella Gibson, but I can’t wait to see Dr. Jean F. Milburn again soon.

To Be Seen

Sometimes we forget how different things were 30, 20, or even 10 years ago. Or how hard they still can be in too many places even today. But then someone articulates exactly what it means to finally see yourself reflected back for that first time. And it all comes flooding back. As does the gratefulness we feel for the person or thing that finally helped us realize it was okay to be different. Last night that person was Kate McKinnon who introduced Ellen DeGeneres as she received the Carol Burnett Award at the Golden Globes. It was perhaps the most heartfelt moment of the night where there were more than a few heartfelt moments (Peach it, Michelle! Hell yeah, Patricia! Yaaasss, Awkwafina!). And other than Ricky Gervais being his typical twat (not to mention transphobic) self, what I think I’ll remember best from the night.

p.s. Don’t worry, SGALGG is still coming later this week. Oh, yeah, it’s coming.

Pre-L: Labels

And we’re back. This is my last sceeners for the time being, so we’ll see if the last three are released. Big gay fingers crossed. Speaking of big gay thing, this episode is filled with big gay drama. So may exes! So many vices! All these bad choices! Oh, show, how we missed your lesbian drama. Per usual, spoilery and possibly NSFWy. And, proceed.

1) When you’re pretty sure the baby isn’t yours.


2) When your whole relationship hinges on where each partner falls on the idea of cake for breakfast.


3) When you’re running for mayor but still get stuck in the carpool lane.


4) Everyone Hates Talking on the Phone, Part I.


5) When your wedding is being ruined by Late Stage Capitalism.


6) Everyone Hates Talking on the Phone, Part II.


7) I’m legit still not sure if this is a shared couch.


8) Bette Porter driving a Tesla is the most Bette Porter move ever.


9) Dammit, now I have to learn how to spell thrupple.


10) Cue “Everybody Hurts” and sway gently to the intergenerational bonding.


11) Look, we have to both believe we can grow past our self-destructive tendencies and find committed, lasting happiness.


12) When you see those same self-destructive tendencies rearing up in others.


13) Uncle Shane knows best.


14) The bad decisions are coming from inside the bar.


15) Everyone Hates Talking on the Phone, Part III.