Well, I’m just going to pretend Ricky Gervais didn’t twat it up with his general everything (fuck that transphobe). Otherwise it was a night of some heartfelt speeches, and some deserving winners. A few baffling winners. And a ton of just staggeringly talented actresses all in one room together. I mean, Carol Aird and Therese Belivet and Queen Anne and Lady Sarah were all there. And many real-life couples as well. Beanie & Bonnie! Ellen & Portia! Kate McKinnon & Everyone In Their Dreams. So in a way it was really the Golden Lesbians, as it should be.
SGALGG
Cate Blanchett & Nicole Kidman
Look, Cate, I’m no Therese. But I have other qualities, I promise.
Charlize Theron & Reese Witherspoon
Reese looks like she’s about to climb Charlize and can you blame her?
Glenn Close & Jennifer Lopez
J-Lo, please cast Glenn in “Hustlers 2.”
Michelle Williams & Busy Phillips
I know they’re just “best friends,” but the way Busy cried at Michelle’s beautiful speech was pure love.
Sian Clifford & Phoebe Waller-Bridge
Yes, I know they play sisters. Still hot.
Olivia Colman & Kaitlyn Dever
I’m not a big May-December person, but if Patrick Stewart can marry a woman 39 years his junior why the fuck not? Like, this is only a 22 year difference, so…
Salma Hayek & Patricia Arquette
They didn’t do anything particularly gay, but boobs so you’re welcome.
Amy Poehler & Kerry Washington
Amy just tested Kerry’s boob tape. With consent. Always with consent.
Helen Mirren & Phoebe Waller-Bridge
Dame Helen is not above flirting to get into Phoebe’s next project.
Helen Mirren & Meryl Streep
And with Meryl, too. Shameless, shameless.
Tiffany Haddish & Awkwafina
Put them in a movie together. Make them girlfriends. What? I thought we were just saying wishes.
GGALGG
Kate McKinnon & Emily Lynne
Fine, it’s Kate’s sister, but I was fine with it for Phoebe & Sian so why the hell not.
Beanie Feldstein & Bonnie Chance Roberts
Say it all together with me, “Awwww.” Also definitely not her sister.
Ellen DeGeneres & Portia de Rossi
Ellen & Portia seem to be competing for the most Big Top Energy.
Cate Blanchett & Nicole Kidman
Look, Cate, I’m no Therese. But I have other qualities, I promise.
Charlize Theron & Reese Witherspoon
Reese looks like she’s about to climb Charlize and can you blame her?
Glenn Close & Jennifer Lopez
J-Lo, please cast Glenn in “Hustlers 2.”
Michelle Williams & Busy Phillips
I know they’re just “best friends,” but the way Busy cried at Michelle’s beautiful speech was pure love.
Sian Clifford & Phoebe Waller-Bridge
Yes, I know they play sisters. Still hot.
Olivia Colman & Kaitlyn Dever
I’m not a big May-December person, but if Patrick Stewart can marry a woman 39 years his junior why the fuck not? Like, this is only a 22 year difference, so…
Salma Hayek & Patricia Arquette
They didn’t do anything particularly gay, but boobs so you’re welcome.
Amy Poehler & Kerry Washington
Amy just tested Kerry’s boob tape. With consent. Always with consent.
Helen Mirren & Phoebe Waller-Bridge
Dame Helen is not above flirting to get into Phoebe’s next project.
Helen Mirren & Meryl Streep
And with Meryl, too. Shameless, shameless.
Tiffany Haddish & Awkwafina
Put them in a movie together. Make them girlfriends. What? I thought we were just saying wishes.
GGALGG
Kate McKinnon & Emily Lynne
Fine, it’s Kate’s sister, but I was fine with it for Phoebe & Sian so why the hell not.
Beanie Feldstein & Bonnie Chance Roberts
Say it all together with me, “Awwww.” Also definitely not her sister.
Ellen DeGeneres & Portia de Rossi
Ellen & Portia seem to be competing for the most Big Top Energy.
2 comments:
This actual lesbian loves Ricky Gervais.
Thank you for the “boobs so you’re welcome.”
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