Monday, May 23, 2016

Lady & The Furbaby

How we love our furbabies. Sometimes all a gay gal needs is her cat. Or her dog. Or whatever furbaby makes her happy. Though some vintage shot of legendary lady celebrities with their pups and pusses isn’t bad either. Some celebs, like Elizabeth Taylor above, clearly can’t decide between their canine and feline friends. Others have taken sides. So please snuggle up to your own fury friends and enjoy the puppy/kitty/et al love.

TEAM CAT:

Bette Davis


Judy Garland


Lauren Bacall


Sophia Loren


Cher


TEAM DOG:

Billie Holiday


Brigitte Bardot


Jayne Mansfield


Josephine Baker


Marilyn Monroe


TEAM DEER:

Audrey Hepburn


Frida Kahlo


So, fess up. Are you Team Cat? Team Dog? Team Both? Though, come on, is Team Deer really a thing?

Friday, May 20, 2016

My Weekend Crush

You guys, I have said it once and I will say it again, I absolutely cannot wait to buy a gazillion tickets to see “Ghostbusters” this summer. Keep crying, baby-men. Keep on crying. I hope they offer “male tears” as a popcorn flavoring in the theaters. Happy lady ghostbusting and weekend, all.

p.s. I think Leslie and Kate are totally gonna steal this movie from Melissa and Krsiten and I am totally OK with that.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Woman Trouble

If you really think about it, it’s a wonder we women folk haven’t burned the world down already. We make up more than half the world. Yet, when it comes to our place in it, we continue to be systematically subjugated by our male counterparts. This is not opinion, just fact. We earn less than men. We run less than men. We govern less than men.

In the 227 years of the presidency, we have never once had a female president. Not once. Yet somehow, mentioning our desire to perhaps see a woman be elected to the highest office in the land is playing some unfair and unreasonable “woman card.” Still it’s perfectly OK for one of our major political parties to pick a man to run for said highest office who sees casual misogyny as his signature brand. Neat-o.

Now, keep in mind, we women have only even had the legal right to vote since 1920 in this country. I would wager a few of you might have grandparents born before women’s suffrage. Almost all of you have great-grandparents who lived when we couldn’t vote. History you can still go to visit for tea.

None of this is news, which makes it all the more extraordinary. We live in a world that is patently unfair to more than half the population and quietly accepts it. This is not opinion, this is just fact. And, of course, the world is just as unfair, if not very much more so, when you add on our intersecting identities – be that as a person of color, or a LGBT person, or a person with a disability, et al. Life is just harder if you’re not a straight white male – period.

Yet, ironically, one of the most persistent political narratives this election is the power and importance of the Angry White Male voter. They flail furiously at any perceived threat to their long-standing dominance. That means when we women – or any underrepresented group – try to gain a little ground and find more equal footing, we are met with dismissal, mockery, hatred or violence. Want to wallow in despair forever? Find an “MRA” thread on Reddit.

Given all this consequential, real-world utter bullshit, it might seem silly to get riled up about something as seemingly insignificant as, say, a female-fronted TV show adapted from a female-centered book series not getting picked up became it skewed “too female.” Or, say, a blockbuster superhero franchise nixing a female villain because the toymaker thought it would hurt sales. Or, say, a trailer for a high-profile female-led movie reboot getting the most “dislikes” on YouTube ever.

All the while, it should be mentioned, over on CBS (the channel which passed over that “too female” Nancy Drew series starring Sarah Shahi) all six of the new shows ordered for next season by the network feature white male leads? But by all means you stay angry, white men – stay angry.

The thing is all of this feeds into each other. It piles on. Our cultural narrative, despite our statistical dominance, is one that dismisses women as secondary, less important, unequal. We women make up 51 percent of the population, and yet.

The simple fact is we women are on the losing end of representation and governance and ultimately control in this country. Yet, because of our prevalence, it’s easier to dismiss the insidious institutionalized sexism that exists. Many men think, how can women still be discriminated against? I see them every day. They are everywhere. They seem fine.

And, yes, some of us are fine. But fine is not the same as being truly equal. And being told we should be happy with what we have, quit whining and definitely stop talking about it is exhausting, so terribly exhausting. But also maddening. We are not crazy, we are just sick and tired of this crap.

But we cannot get beaten down by it either. We cannot simply accept it as our place. We need to keep bringing it up, both amongst ourselves and to the men in our lives.

Like, hey, don’t you think it’s crazy we’ve never had a woman president? Or, hey, don’t you think it’s nuts there are so few woman bosses? Or, hey, isn’t it whack that mom/sister/wife/best friend/coworker makes less than you just because she is a woman? Or, hey, isn’t it weird that so few major studio films are about women? Or, hey, isn’t it stupid that people think men won’t go see a movie/watch a show/read a book featuring women? Or, hey, isn’t it cuckoo bananas people still expect women to do most of the housework and child-rearing – still, today, in 2016? Because it is, all of it is.

Pointing out the fundamental inequality women face is a necessary part of progress. We should, and will, never shut up about it. It is in fact the only way we will ever achieve the equality we deserve. Feminism is how we solve this. I mean, what else can we do? Burn the whole world down?

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Foster Care

Yes, yes, I know we just talked about Jodie. But, truth be told, I have always – since well before she became my very first Weekend Crush – been a fan of Ms. Foster. Her talent both in front and behind the camera only equaled by the continual intelligence she radiates. This is a very smart woman, and a very private woman – which some might say is part of what makes her very smart. She only relents on the private part every few years when promoting a movie. And then once again we get to feast on a glut of appearances (like getting that star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame dealie), interviews (like here, here and here) and TV stops (like all these) before she retreats again into her signature brand of assured yet more silent celebrity.

Yet the journey of watching Jodie become who she is today – from those days when we thought she might never come out, to her dipping a toe into the waters, to finally that Golden moment and even getting married – have been quite something to watch.

I mean, she even made a real, live lesbian joke in her Buzzfeed interview. Did you catch it? It was when she was talking about directing on “Orange Is the New Black.”

And did Foster think it was funny that she — of all people — was directing an episode called “Lesbian Request Denied”?

“It was fantastic,” Foster said. “I laughed. It was almost as good as making a movie called The Beaver.“
Also quite something to watch? Jodie succumbing to the silliness of stardom while promoting her new movie “Money Monster.” Yes, even the great Jodie Foster wear egg and cheese on her head sometimes. Enjoy it while you can.





p.s. Also kudos for Jodie calling out the terribly overused “she was raped, that’s why” plot device from too many male writers.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Girls Just Want Equal Rights

Cyndi Lauper has been a longtime favorite of mine and I’m sure yours. Everyone of a certain age fondly remembers she-bopping along in their rooms to “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.” And “True Colors” and “Time After Time” give me guaranteed goose bumps every time I hear her sing them anew. Part of what has always made her wonderful is her delightful weirdness and dedicated commitment to LGBT and women’s rights. So imagine my delight when she popped up last week on “The Late Late Show with James Corden” singing that same tune for an updated version of “Girls.” Now there’s a girl who never disappoints.

p.s. Remember when shot a shout-out for Dorothy Surrenders for her True Colors tour?



p.p.s. Twice?


Monday, May 16, 2016

This Is Why We Fight

I really can’t tell you how proud I am of this movement, this revolution. It is proof positive that fandom, and LGBT fandom in particular, is a powerful force to be reckoned with. And this video is a perfect example of the talent and passion of everyone in the LGBT Fans Deserve Better campaign. Storytellers have every right to tell the stories they want to tell. But fans also have a right to ask for truthful and representative stories from those storytellers. The first step toward making that symbiotic relationship between he two is to identify the issues. After the LGBT Fans Deserve Better campaign, no storyteller or show creator or series writer can honestly claim they didn’t know about the Bury Your Gays or Dead Lesbian Syndrome tropes. That’s the power of demanding better and refusing to settle for what we’ve too often been given. Never stop pushing for more and better representation. Because that’s how we’ll finally get it.

Friday, May 13, 2016

My Weekend Crush

First things first, let’s all go out and buy an axe. It’s both essential tool in any pending apocalypse and, until then, great to grind while fighting the patriarchy. Fetch me my axe, I’ve got some grinding to do. But, of course, not about this trailer. Our first look at the new Ellen Page and Evan Rachel Wood film “Into the Forest” does not disappoint. The pair play sisters who must survive after the power grid goes down and humanity goes a little mad in what appears to be the not too distant future. The film was written and directed by out filmmaker Patricia Rozema (of “When Night is Falling,” “I’ve Heard the Mermaids Singing” and “Mansfield Park” fame) based on the novel by Jean Hegland. I cannot overstate the awesomeness of a film by and starring three out queer women. Granted, I don’t think anything particularly gay happens in the move (they’re sisters, people, please). But still, it’s pretty great. And, yes, definitely makes me want to invest in an axe. Happy weekend, all.


Thursday, May 12, 2016

Gender Fuck Thursday: Lucy Liu Tie Edition

“Elementary” is one of those shows I watch but rarely write about. It’s probably because there’s little overtly gay about it. And also probably because it’s one of those reliably good shows that doesn’t inspire much ranting. Also, sometimes it’s nice to just have some things to yourself. And I do find it quite nice. I dare say – and I know this is sacrilege to some – that I prefer this version of Sherlock and Watson to the British version. A lot of that has to do with Lucy Liu. Her Watson is much more of an equal than merely a sidekick. And I like that. I like that a lot. I also like how Lucy has stepped up her neckwear game this season. What can I say, the woman wears a cravat well. Alas, now we must wait until next season to see what ties our dear Watson shows up in next.

Until then, a look back in wonder at Watson’s necktie style.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Back to Black

In case you missed yesterday’s Lesbian Bat Signal, the trailer for “Orange Is the New Black” season 4 is officially out. It signals some dark – and tearful – times ahead at Litchfield. There’s also precious little evidence – though there is one precious moment – of gay lady happiness in the new preview. Now lots of people complained that last season lacked narrative drive. But I rather enjoyed the third season because it gave me a window into these diverse and fascinating women’s lives while not annoying me with an artificial Big Bad storyline. (cough, RIP Vee, cough) From the trailer, Big Corporate Prison will once again be our main antagonist. We’ll see how it goes.

Some other random and not-so random thoughts on the trailer.

1. So much cry. Don’t be cry, ladies.

2. Sophia is still in SHU. Dammit, get Sophia out of SHU.


3. Sieg heil much, Piper? Because as much as I’d like those shaved heads to be a sign of potential lesbianism, those tattoos are more like “I’m voting for Donald Trump.”


4. Poussey and Soso 4EVA.


Other observations? I’m kind of thrilled Big Boo and Pennsatucky are still BFFs. Blair Brown’s Judy King/Martha Stewart could be interesting. Less interesting? But seriously, where is Nicky? And don’t worry, Alex, I heard you there at 0:55. And I can definitely keep a secret – at least until June 17.

p.s. In case you let your Netflix subscription lapse, or want to own a little bit of Ruby Rose, Season 3 is out on DVD May 17. I highly recommend it.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Singing Bones

This song has been stuck in my head for more than a week now. Every since I (finally) did my “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” Season 2 binge, this song has become the most delightfully weird earworm. If you haven’t watched the second season of Kimmy Schmidt, good God, what are you waiting for? It’s the only show I put the captions on so I can be sure to catch all the jokes. Because there isn’t a dense joke per scene show on TV right now, and that’s the truth. So, please enjoy. May “Outside Bones” get gloriously stuck in your head as well. Never forget, kittens, never forget.

p.s. Also, please note, the great deadpan cameo by out comic Judy Gold.
p.p.s. If you have not made it to the end of season 2 yet, you can also look forward to a fantastic recurring role featuring my Fake TV Wife (and series creator) Tina Fey.

Monday, May 09, 2016

So Good

Goodness, this is lovely. I won’t even write more. Please just enjoy Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel reuniting “For Good.” Happy Monday, all.

Friday, May 06, 2016

My Weekend Crush

Two things. 1) These image should be pertinent to your lesbian interests. And 2) How the fuck did Jodie Foster not have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame until now? On Wednesday Kristen Stewart feted her fake movie mom Jodie Foster at the latter’s long-time-coming Walk of Fame ceremony. It was by all accounts very nice and the two seem to genuinely care for and respect one another. For gay ladies, the event was a cross-generational smorgasbord of delights. Though, can I confess something to you? I’ve never seen “Panic Room.” And now I feel weird about going back to watch it because K-Stew is like 10 in it. Whatever, please enjoy these images of two of the super famous gay ladies enjoying each other’s company. Happy weekend, all.



p.s. Here is the video of them being genuinely lovely to each other. To avoid boring men talking, fast forward to 5:40 for K-Stew and 8:05 for J-Fo. You’re welcome.


Thursday, May 05, 2016

Now Leaving the Gun Show

Yep, this skit is one of those “funny because it’s true” situations. Wait, did I say funny? I meant infuriating. But I guess we laugh to keep from crying. Welcome to America, where we’ve become almost immune to headlines about school children being gunned down in the classroom and toddlers shooting their moms from the backseats of cars. Well fuck that. The merchants of death, because what is the point of a gun if not death, will not bully our entire nation into silent submission anymore. We can’t let them anymore. We won’t.

Wednesday, May 04, 2016

United States of Nope

America, here we go. Yesterday Indiana – oh dear, my poor Indiana – essentially clinched the Republican nomination for Donald Fucking Trump. Which means the only person left to stop Donald Fucking Trump from becoming the President of the United States is a Democrat. And that Democrat, based on math and 3 million more votes, is going to be Hillary Clinton. The numbers are pretty much insurmountable – even if you give the super-delegates to Bernie for all the states he has won he doesn’t have enough. And on top of that he would have to win some 65 percent of the remaining pledged delegates to overtake Hillary. In Indiana he earned only six more delegates than Hillary. Math and such.

Look, even if Bernie Sanders decides to fight on, which is totally his right, one thing is crystal clear. We’re reached the point of no return for the Democratic candidates in terms of the general election. We know who we will be up against. Ted Cruz dropped out. Kasich is a ball of lint running for office also out. So that leaves Donald Fucking Trump. Regardless of which candidate you support, neither Democratic candidate can afford to attack the other anymore. Period. The Democrats have two good candidates. These are two people who would be infinitely better than Donald Fucking Trump. One of these two good people will face Donald Fucking Trump in November. To weaken either’s ability to do that would be beyond reckless. It would be putting the future of our country in the hands of Donald Fucking Trump. The harm he would do to people of color in this country, to LGBT people in this country, to female people in this country, to any people with even an ounce of reasonableness in this country is immeasurable. We cannot afford that. We cannot risk that.

Both Democratic candidates need to run their campaigns to defeat one man, and one man alone from now on: Donald Fucking Trump. So let’s get busy doing that. Immediately.

Tuesday, May 03, 2016

Well Shoot

Here is a story about expectations, hope and crushing anxiety. No, don’t worry, it’s not about our presidential election cycle – this time. It’s about the return of “Person of Interest” for its final season. As I’ve mentioned before, I do not follow the show closely. I’ve watched on and off. But I care, unusually deeply, about how the series will ultimately handle Root and Shaw. Given the insane death toll for queer female characters this year and the ensuing LGBT Fans Deserve Better campaign, Root and Shaw (it’s Shoot, right, we’ve all decided on Shoot?) will have heightened attention on them when they return to our television tonight.

Look, like any red-blooded lesbian, I want them to hook up and live happily ever after. But what I’m most concerned about his how another fandom and queer women in general are pinning their hopes, dreams and then some on this couple.

Show co-producer Jonathan Nolan spoke about “The 100”/Bury Your Gays backlash to the site iO9:

“We’ve never shied from killing off our characters, and this season is no different. Our team does not make it out intact... We’re equal-opportunity killers… It’s a bloodbath.

There have been plans in place for where these characters’ stories would go for many seasons. And we’ve stuck with that plan… So [Root and Show is] a very cool relationship, and it’s one we’ve had a lot of fun writing to. But ultimately, the plan is the plan.”
Ruh-roh.

He goes on to say that “there are some unfortunate tropes that play themselves out.”

So, yeah. Unless he is just trying to throw us all off, that sure sounds like Root or Shaw or both are goners. Damn. Just damn.

They go on to say things about respect and heroism and all that jazz. Stray bullets be damned. But, with all due respect to “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” that show is not in fact the originator of the Dead Lesbian Syndrome. You’d have to go back, way back, to pulp novels and the like. But on TV you’d have to go back to 1976. And tropes, no matter how they play out, aren’t “exciting,” They’re actually the exact opposite.

Look, I know this final season of POI was filmed a year before the LGBT Fans Deserve Better campaign was born. But may it be the very last show to claim ignorance – partial, full or otherwise – of the Bury Your Gays trope.

p.s. Yeah, I know I should be fuming. But those 1.5 seconds of Root and Shaw apparently tearing each other’s clothes have me, uh, distracted.


Monday, May 02, 2016

Pledge to Do Better

Granted, this video is jokey. That tends to happen when you get a bunch of funny a bunch of professionally funny lesbian ladies together. But the sentiment behind the humor, that there are literally a zillion other things to do with lesbian characters rather than kill them, is of course spot on.

Also spot on is the new Lexa Pledge, which was created by writers and producers of the Canadian series “Saving Hope” in support of the thriving LGBT Fans Deserve Better campaign. And what is says, in seven rather succinct points, that it strives to provide better, more representative, non-stereotypical portrayals of LGBTQ characters. And it also promises to not kill off LGBTQ characters “solely to further the plot of a straight one.” I’ve said it before, but not every show that kills an LGBT character is irredeemably bad. Characters die all the time on TV. Hell, two more queer female characters died last week. But the overall effect of this mass of killings is a cultural narrative that tells an already underrepresented group its life story is overwhelmingly tragic. And that is bad.

The pledge has collected more than a dozen signatures so far from producers and writers on shows like “Saving Hope” and “Rookie Blue” and “The Catch.” But what it really is is provide further confirmation that LGBT Fans Deserve Better is a real and powerful campaign that is helping to change the way the entertainment industry respects its LGBT characters and fans.

I’d also like to address the predictable knee-jerk reaction by some in Hollywood to the campaign. When faced with criticism, your first instinct shouldn’t be to throw up your hands and say, “Fine, I’m taking my toys and going home.” Yet there are some who counter reasonable concern about the Bury Your Gays trope with the claim that people will be too afraid to write LGBT characters at all now. The answer to poor representation is not less representation. When we say we’re sick of the Dead Lesbian Syndrome, the response shouldn’t be to say well then we’ll just stop writing lesbian characters. The point, you seem to be missing it.

The point is to write realistic, representative and non-reductive LGBT characters. Which, really, should be the point of writing any character. Why write a whole character simply to prove a tired point? Unless you’re writing a modern version of “Aesop’s Fables,” the goal of character development should be a fully realized person with agency – not matter the person’s gender, race, sexual orientation, whathaveyou. You need a way to give your straight white (usually male) lead more motivation. Buy him a poster with a kitten hanging from a tree limb that says, “Hang In There!” It’s not less original as it is to kill off the woman or minority or gay character.

The funny thing about the whole LGBT Fans Deserve Better campaign is that, in the end, what we’re really asking for is better TV, period. If producer and writers start treating LGBT characters with more respect and representation, it will actually make their shows better. Because who starts writing a TV shows and says, you know what, I’d really love to write a character that is stereotypical, hackneyed and falls into a predictable trope that is harmful to a vulnerable community of people who look to it for hope of a better future? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

p.s. I did hear about The Catch killing off a gay lady. But since I have not watched I will reserve judgment on it for the time being.

Friday, April 29, 2016

My Weekend Crush

Some days, I don’t feel like analyzing pop culture. I don’t feel like raging against injustice. I don’t even feel like looking at ladies in tank tops. (OK, that’s a lie; I always like looking at ladies in tank tops.) But, in all honesty, some days I just want to watch cute animals sing Pixie songs. After ten years of doing this, sometimes you just have to go with your gut. Enjoy. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Charge It

By now I’m sure you’ve already heard Trump *gagging sound* (sorry, that’s just my involuntary response to each time I hear his name) saying Hillary Clinton is playing the fabled Woman Card. Excuse me while I go scream into the inky void forever. Naturally, we woman folk and our lady brains did not take kindly to these remarks. Not only do they fly in the face of political facts (like, uh, Hillary Clinton is a past Secretary of State and U.S. Senator so she clearly has more qualifications to offer the presidency than her ladyparts), but also half of the humanity’s universal reality.

Look, I’m as terrified and disgusted by the thought of a Trump *gagging sound* presidency as everyone else. But I have to believe also that a man who so blithely insults 51 percent of the world’s population could never, ever be leader of the free world.


Wednesday, April 27, 2016

If They Were Your Boyfriend

If I admit I still have a hard time telling Tegan from Sara sometimes, will you take away my Lesbian Card? Look, it’s harder when they cover up their tattoos, OK? Damn, now I’ve ruined my Lesbo Street Cred forever. Good news though, my face blindness when it comes to Canada’s most musically awesome twins has done nothing to make their content less totally gay. To wit, please witness their most recent song “Boyfriend.” Yes, following up a song all about lesbian sex (hello, come a little “Closer”) with one about your on the down-low girlfriend who treats you like her “Boyfriend” definitely counts as totally gay. And I am totally OK with that.

p.s. Clea DuVall directed the video, who I have no problem recognizing - ever. So, um, can I get at least part of my Lesbian Card back?

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Ten

Yesterday I took one of the very few weekday vacations days from blogging I’ve taken since I started writing Dorothy Surrenders. Why, you might ask, did I afford myself this tiny luxury? Well because Sunday marked my 10th anniversary, or blogiversary if you will. What started as a whim has become a decade of my life. Holy and shit.

What has kept me going, all these past 10 years, is sharing my love – and sometimes otherwise – of this culture we call pop with you. Being able to write down the things I would otherwise only yell at my television in the privacy of my living room, and connecting with other folks yelling the same things in their living rooms, has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

It’s a reminder that we have so much more in common than what separates us – especially for us gay ladies. So I want to sincerely thank you, as always, for coming here every day to read the sometimes serious, often silly things that float thing my head. It has meant more to me than I can possibly say.

So in celebration of this ridiculous milestone, I will reshare this video that I made some five years ago. Yes, back when I thought five years was a long time to be writing a blog. Thank you, kittens. Thank you for 10 amazing years.

p.s. As a reminder, you can also follow me on Twitter (@dorothysnarker), Tumblr (dorothy-snarker) and Instagram (mssnarker).
p.p.s. Thanks for letting me know how long you have been reading, and where you are from. I love finding out more about you, kittens.

Friday, April 22, 2016

My Weekend Purple Crush

For whatever reason, I never truly entertained the idea that Prince could die. He always seemed so immortal. Death seemed too pedestrian for such a mad genius. I’ve written about the permission to be weird Prince gave to me, as a queer girl growing up, and all us other glorious weirdos over at Women & Hollywood today. So now, I’d like to just revel in the talent. Since it’s hard to find Prince’s music – particularly videos - online on purpose, I’m posting some of my favorite (not to mention some of the gayest) covers of his music here.

Brandi Carlile, “Nothing Compares 2 U”

While practically nothing compares to Sinead O’Connor’s original version of this, Brandi gives it a beautiful go.

Tegan and Sara, “When You Were Mine”

Lots of people, including T&S, forget this song was written by Prince and covered by Cyndi.

The Bangles, “Manic Monday”

Not a cover, since they recorded it originally, but another reminder of the wonderful songs Prince wrote – particularly for female artists.

Cast of “The Color Purple,” “Purple Rain”

Last night Jennifer Hudson et al from the Broadway show performed this tribute. Lovely.

And, finally, not a cover. Just Prince singing his own song, stripped down to its beautiful bones, two months ago.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

No Shame

Lena Headey, continual bringer of delight despite her portrayal of one of the most despicable characters in television canon, is back at it. She appeared on “The Late Late Show with James Corden” to recount a particularly personal fan encounter. I won’t ruin it for you. Please, proceed with joy.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Show Me the Tubmans

Sometimes, sometimes, if you wait long enough, something good happens. Today was one of those sometimes. Today the Treasury Secretary announced that African-American abolitionist and all-around American hero Harriet Tubman would supplant President Andrew Jackson on the front of the $20 bill. Yes, please, let us relish the delicious irony of a former slave replacing a former slaveholder as the face of American money. (But, don’t get too excited, because Jackson will remain on the back of the $20 – cue sad trombone sound.)

It was previously announced that the Treasury Secretary wanted to replace founding father Alexander Hamilton on the $10 bill with the image of an undetermined female civil rights leader. But then he wisely changed their mind, which is a good thing for Hamilton fans and non-fans of Jackson (particularly the latter’s campaign of genocide against the Native Americans).

Harriet Tubman is as righteous as they come. Born into slavery she escaped, became an abolitionist and worked as a spy for the Union Army. She will become the first African-American person, not to mention first black women, to appear on U.S. currency, period.
I for one cannot wait to start asking for my change in “Tubmans.”

In honor of this momentous occasion, please enjoy the Harriet Tubman edition of “Drunk History.” Harriet Tubman is coming with her army full of bad bitches to snatch your bills, Jackson.

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Back to Black

So how about that “Orphan Black” season opener? Starting off with a flashback? Showing us more about Beth? Introducing a new clone named MK? Not a Castor clone in sight. Yes, yes, and yaaaaaaaas. Of course, the problem with showing us more about Beth is now we want more of Beth. But alas, we all know how that ends.

Last season of “Orphan Black” was, well, convoluted. And adding the Castor Clones diluted what has always been best about the series – Tatiana Maslany in all her many incarnations. I hope this season premiere signals a return to form for the show. And I hope against all possible hope that we can also see a return to Delphine. Yes, I know – those bullet holes looked pretty convincing. But a gal can dream. Come back, Evelyne Brochu. Come back.


Monday, April 18, 2016

Let Them Eat Cake

Well, when you put it this way all these new “Religious Freedom” bills seem pretty damn silly, don’t they? Life, liberty and the pursuit of denying basic goods and services to LGBT people. That’s how the constitution goes, right? While it’s all fun to joke and scoff at the ridiculousness of these so-called religious liberty laws and so-called bathroom safety laws, it’s also important to never forget that these are really the arguments being made by some. That LGBT people are still being used as scapegoats to scare people. That bigotry is being masked as religion. I mean, who do they think they’re kidding? We all know God is a boob woman.

Friday, April 15, 2016

My Weekend Crush

You guys, YOU GUYS. Sorry, I don’t mean to yell. But after too many shows made us slog through disappointing seasons, I’m all in for a fun new show that shoots from the hip. And that show, my friends, is “Wynonna Earp.” Now, we already knew its bona fides were legit. The new Syfy series was created by none other than Emily Andras, the former executive producer and showrunner of “Lost Girl.” And, kittens, you all know how I feel about “Lost Girl” (*heart eyes forever*). It’s also based on a graphic novel by the same name and revolves around a proverbial Strong Female Lead. But knowing something might be good and realizing it in fact is are two different things.

The pilot was, well, a pilot. It was a little uneven and went for the dump you into action instead of explain too much route of storytelling. But then the second episode, goodness, did the show find its feet – or boots. I don’t know how far I should push the cowboy metaphors. To nutshell the show for you it’s about the eldest heir to legendary lawman Wyatt Earp who inherits his gun which has the ability to kill demons. Oh, and it also has a charismatic world-weary female lead, spunky smart sister sidekick, punchy one-liners and a big-ass pistol. What’s not to like?

But, because it’s Emily and because she loves being good to us ladies who like ladies, the show also features some hot – or should I say Haught – potential ladies who like ladies action. In its second episode the show introduced Officer Haught. YES HER NAME IS HAUGHT. Sorry, I’m yelling again. But, indeed, the sheriff deputy is a) hot and b) very interested in Wynonna’s sister, Waverly – and vice versa. And no, this isn’t some thinly veiled subtext. But don’t take my word for it. See all the unabashed lady-on-lady flirting for yourself.



Obviously, there’s already a perfect shipper name for these two. It’s WayHaught, naturally. Look, any show that can get both an impromptu wet T-shirt contest and woman in a uniform so seamlessly into the same scene deserves your respect, and your viewership. It airs tonight on Syfy. Happy watching and weekend, all.

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Gender Fuck Thursday: Vintage Edition

How about we class up this joint, eh? And nothing’s classier than a fine-looking lady in menswear. And if that fine-looking lady is from a bygone era, well, all the better. Vintage gender fuck is, let’s be honest, some of the greatest gender fuck. But don’t take my word for it. Let Katharine Hepburn and friends show you.

Katharine Hepburn

The original great panted one.

Josephine Baker

Dapper goals, forever.

Audrey Hepburn

Not everyone can pull off a plaid suit. But, of course, Audrey can.

Maggie Smith

She looks like a 70s politician running for office. I’d totally vote for her.

Frida Kahlo

Impeccable vest game.

Marlene Dietrich

Nobody does gender fuck better. Never has, never will.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Whoosh Wednesday

I’ll admit to feeling some ambivalence toward the upcoming “Xena” reboot. On the one hand, holy shit that’s fantastic. On the other hand, wait, isn’t this from the guy who wrote that episode of “The 100?” On the one hand, he has promised to “fully exploring a relationship that could only be shown subtextually in first-run syndication in the 1990s.” On the other hand, why is 48-year-old Lucy Lawless too old to play Xena again when 73-year-old Harrison Ford is just fine to play both Han Solo AND Indiana Jones again? Like I was saying, ambivalence.

The one thing I know for sure is the reboot will undoubtedly not have the same gloriously cheesy “whoosh” sound affects whenever characters snap their heads. Well, at least we will always have the memories – and this video.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Quittin' Time

These days there’s much talk of us being in the age of Peak TV. With over 400 scripted series on American television, a viewer has no choice but to feel perpetually behind. Oh dear, I’ve always wanted to watch A, B, C. Oh no, I still haven’t caught up on X, Y, Z. But as we enter season finale season, I’ve been able to scratch a few shows off my watch list once and for all.

For whatever reason I quit watching a number of shows this year. And I do not regret it at all. They include, in no particular order: “The 100,” “Gotham,” “Sleepy Hollow” and (at least for now) “The Walking Dead.”

I think my issues with “The 100” are pretty self-explanatory. Ahem. I stopped watching “Gotham” just a few episodes into its new season. I hated what happened with Barbara Kean and missed Fish Mooney. I did my best to soldier through “Sleepy Hollow” this season, I really did. But killing Abbie Mills? Dealbreaker. And “The Walking Dead” seems to be once again entering into another lengthy chapter of “Humans Are the Worst” – which have always been my least favorite kind of plotlines on the show. Also they killed Denise; those bastards.

(Side Note: Hey, television, can you maybe cool it on the whole killing women – queer, of color, and otherwise – business? What does a girl have to do to stay alive past the season finale, people?)

I can’t tell you how freeing it feels to decide you just don’t care – and delete your season pass and/or pile-up of unwatched episodes. I’m assuming it’s the same sort of specifically 21st Century satisfaction one feels when achieving Inbox Zero. (I assume because I don’t know, my inbox is over 2,500 right now.)

What this also does is allow me to focus on the other shows languishing on my DVR. Like, I still haven’t made it past the first few episodes of “Supergirl.” So maybe this is my chance to give it a fair show. And (don’t yell at me) the entire last season of “Agent Carter” is stilling on my watch list taunting me. I know, I know. Though the one I continue to feel the worst about is “Jane the Virgin,” which I got behind on in the first season and, well, you know how this story goes. Forgive me, Gina Rodriguez. I still think you’re lovely.

So, did you drop any shows this year? Pick any new ones up?

p.s. Oh, and don’t worry, we’ll talk all about “Wynonna Earp” later this week. Oh, yes we will.

Monday, April 11, 2016

Another One Four Bite the Dust

So, wow, I was gone for two weeks and four (yes, FOUR) lesbian, bisexual (or as Ilene Chaiken likes to say “opportunist”) female characters were killed off. That’s two on “The Vampire Diaries” and two on “Empire.” Forget boat, we’re going to need a bigger graveyard to bury all these gays. By my (and Autostraddle’s) count, that is 11 dead queer female characters on American scripted television in the 102 days of this year. If you do the math, that’s about 1 dead queer lady every 9 or so days of 2016. Cool story, bro and bro-ette. Tell me again about how your dead and buried gays “aren’t a part of that phenomenon or conversation.” Well, at least this allows us all to once again shake our fists at the sky and scream, “CHAIKEN!

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it and will keep saying it a thousand times until it fucking sinks in. The stories we tell, particularly about underrepresented groups – like queer people and people of color and people with disabilities and the like – matter. They feed into a cultural narrative which then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy – both for LGBT people and how the outside world views LGBT people. It really isn’t much to ask that the majority of stories told about queer women not be tragic. And if none of that matters to you all those TV makers out there, maybe this will: At the rate burying your gays is just one small step above waking up and having it all being a dream in terms of stunningly unoriginal storylines. Do better, television. Because LGBT fans deserve so much better.

Thursday, April 07, 2016

Vacation Vixen: Uzo Aduba

If OITNB Season 4 isn’t at least 50 percent Crazy Eyes and her new girlfriend making out I will be very disappointed. The other 50 percent, of course, will be Poussey and Soso.

Wednesday, April 06, 2016

Vacation Vixen: Constance Wu

Are you watching “Fresh Off the Boat” yet? If you were, you’d know Constance’s Jessica Huang is one of the funniest female characters on television today.

Tuesday, April 05, 2016

Vacation Vixen: Laura Prepon

Guess Vause survives to see Season 4. If she keeps wearing great suspenders and tank tops like this and stays out of the toxic Pipex vortex, I could not be more thrilled.

Monday, April 04, 2016

Vacation Vixen: Tilda Swinton

I feel like it’s been ages since I’ve posted La Swinton. A thousand apologies, please allow me to hurl myself into the endless abyss of mist and fog that rise from the tears that have been planted by her absence. (What? That is how I imagine Tilda apologizes.)

Friday, April 01, 2016