My Weekend (RIP) Crush

When the history of LGBTQ+ civil rights is written, I hope we spare at least a weighty chapter for Anne Heche. Always a complicated figure, but also always seemingly truthful to a fault, she was the pixie-haired, live-wire half of what at one point was the most famous same-sex couple in the entire universe. And that mattered, and should always matter.

Anne’s passing last week at age 53 is a sad reminder that life can be fleeting and cruel. May her family and friends find comfort in the impact her life had on this world for the better, and let go of the messiness and ugliness of the past. (Not to dismiss allegations that she was driving recklessly under the influence, but her history of mental health issues and past traumas is well known.)

What Anne represented during the peak of her celebrity was a vulnerable, feisty, loyal and deeply talented individual who was magnetically charismatic for her simple insistence on being herself. While Ellen gets, and rightfully so, the lion’s share of pop culture credit for helping to turn public opinion toward more acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community, having Anne by her side the whole time made an immeasurable difference.

It’s hard to overstate how important Ellen’s coming out and subsequent high-profile relationship with Anne Heche was back in 1997. It was Time magazine cover headline news, back when a magazine cover was a Big Fucking Deal in America. It was a seismic shift at a time when only a small handful of celebrities were out and proud. To have them both famous and fabulous together also set an example for queer people.

And, not to overshadow her cultural importance, but Anne also was a very, very good actress. While her open relationship with Ellen no doubt stymied her career, she never expressed regret or bitterness over her decision to live honestly. I still remember all the chatter about her “believability” as a straight romantic lead opposite Harrison Ford in “Six Days Seven Nights.” As if a movie with an unmentioned 27-year age difference between its leading man and lady would have no other credibility issues.

I hope Anne found peace and happiness in her life. And I hope her contribution to the ongoing struggle for equal rights for LGBTQ+ people is remembered through time. Thank you for being yourself, for better and for worse. You helped the world open its eyes to the universality of love. May her memory be a blessing to her loved ones, queer people and allies everywhere. Happy weekend, all.