My Weekend Olympic Crush

So, obviously, there aren’t a ton of tank top-clad athletes in the Winter Olympics. But it’s not like there aren’t any tank top opportunities. Ahem. Also if you’ve got a thing for winter jackets, ski goggles and really thick thighs, hot damn, are the Beijing Games for you. According to Outsports, the 2022 Winter Games has a record number of out & LGBTQ+ athletes, with 36 in all. Team Canada’s Women’s Hockey Team leads the way with seven, SEVEN, out athletes. Oh, Canada (Good job on that gold medal, by the way. Respect). You should sic the team on the truckers — just a thought.

Meanwhile, Team USA has only five out athletes in total at these Games. That includes only two out female Olympians: hockey player Alex Carpenter and speed skater/Olympic flag-bearer Brittany Bowe. The latter, it should be noted, gave up her spot in the 500 meters speed skate to teammate Erin Jackson, who had slipped in the U.S. Olympic trials which cost her an automatic spot in her signature race. Jackson went on to win the gold in Beijing in the 500 and became the first Black woman to win a gold medal in speedskating. Bowe went on to win the bronze, her first Olympic medal, in the 1,000-meter. Give good, get good. Also, just a reminder, Winter Olympic sports are often expensive and require pricey equipment and costly training facilities. Like everything else in life, athletic achievement is intrinsically tied to privilege and opportunities.

Have I mentioned I’ve watched A LOT of Olympics as I was getting over Covid? Because I have. So here are a few of my personal standouts and crushes from these Games.

Erin & Brittany, Speed Skating, USA

Give these two a buddy movie where they skate down bad guys for a tiny northern Minnesota police department or something.

Ireen Wüst, Speedskating, Netherlands

The Dutch speedskater became the first person to win an individual gold medal at five Olympics and is also Family. Am I sneaking in another stealth tank top picture because I love you and want you to be happy? Of course I am.

Lindsey Jacobellis, Snowboard Cross, USA

Who doesn’t love a good redemption story? At age 20 and in her first Olympics in 2006, Lindsey was leading her snowboard cross race when on the last jump she grabbed her board and fell on the landing, costing her the win and having to settle for silver. The move has became a cautionary showboating tale since then. She went to three more Olympics, failing to medal. But this year, at age 36, she finally won that snowboard cross race. And she even took home a second gold, for good measure, in the mixed team snowboard cross race with her 40-year-old teammate Nick Baumgartner (golds for olds!). Best of all, in winning her first gold, Lindsey vanquished those 2006 demons and snuck in a successful board grab on her last jump. Never be defined by your mistakes. Just do better.

Chloe Kim, Snowboard, USA

If you don’t like Chloe then I’m pretty sure you hate happiness.

Eileen Gu, Freestyle Skiing, China

Look, I’m not going to get into the whole “She was born in San Francisco, why is she competing for China!” discourse. It smacks of xenophobia and misogyny because it’s not like it’s an unusual phenomena. The Chinese Olympic Men’s Hockey team is PACKED with American and Canadian players. In fact 15 of the national team’s 25 athletes are naturalized citizens (with some Chinese ancestry or just willing to move to the country to gain citizenship). But for some reason an 18-year-old young Asian woman is the greatest turncoat in Olympic history. Funny how that works. Yes, I know, she may not be fully versed on geopolitical human rights issues in China. But, uh, have you read the news in America laterly? Borders and bullshit anyway.

Kaillie Humphries & Elana Meyers Taylor, Bobsled, USA

Kaillie & Elana went No. 1 and 2 in the inaugural women’s monobob, a feat in and of itself made more so by their backstories. Elana got COVID right before the Games started, and spent the start of the Olympics in isolation and unable to train (or see her special needs son). But she was somehow still able to somehow still win a silver, her fourth medal in as many Olympics. And then there’s Kaillie, won golds for Canada in 2014 and 2010. But then in 2018 she filed harassment charges against a Team Canada coach who she said created a toxic environment and subjected her to mental and emotional harassment. So you know what? She left (and Canada begrudgingly released her). She got her US citizenship just in time for the Beijing Games, where she took gold in the first-ever Women’s Monobob. So, if you’re not happy and have the help, resources and ability to do so, fucking leave.

So, any favorite Beijing moments so far? Happy last Olympic weekend, all.