Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Golden gals

Man, I miss the Olympics. It’s not just the amazing abs and the bulging biceps and the spectacular specimens of human evolution that I miss. OK, sure, I do miss those. A lot. So much. Sigh. But what I miss the most if the showcase this year’s Olympic Games gave to female athletes. This was the first time every single country fielded female athletes. This was the first time the United States had more female athletes than male. And this was the first time the U.S. women won nearly twice as many medals – 100 to 59 – than men. And our women also won more gold medals than all but two total countries. Yeah, ladies kicked ass. So in this unsettling time when once again a lot of men are talking about what’s good/right/biologically possible for women, let’s look back and remind ourselves how phenomenal we really are. In days like these we should all take a cue from Carmelita Jeter of the gold-winning and world record-breaking U.S. women’s 4x100m relay team and point it out to those who simply can’t see. We are women, we are golden. Don’t you fucking forget it.

A few more golden gals from the 2012 London Olympic Games (click any and all to embiggen):

Jessica Ennis, Great Britain, heptathlon, gold
She made millions of lesbians Google “heptathlon” in hopes learning the secrets to six-pack abs.

Lisa Carrington, New Zealand, canoe, gold
She makes me want to row, row, row something – and not a boat.

Jong Sim Rim, North Korea, weightlifting, gold
She weighs about 140 pounds and lifted a combined 575 pounds. Respect.

Missy Franklin, U.S., swimming, four golds
She is just 17. Can’t wait until Rio.

Sue Bird, US, basketball, gold
She gets bonus points for being guarded by French player Celine Dumerc and her alternative lifestyle haircut.

Ning Ding, China, table tennis, gold
She probably won by more than a nose. But, you know I can never resist the easy joke.

Sally Pearson, Australia, 100m hurdles, gold
She actually did win by about a nose – well, chest. Ahem.

Aly Raisman, U.S., gymnastics, two golds
She even impressed McKayla.

Jennifer Suhr, U.S., pole vault, gold
She showed Superman what up, up and away really looks like.

Kaori Icho, Japan, freestyle wrestling, gold
She won the gold for the third consecutive time in the Olympics – corn rows and all.

Claressa Shields, U.S., middle weight boxing, gold
She was the only American boxer to win gold – male or female. Million dollar that, baby.

Laura Asadauskaite, Lithuania, pentathlon, gold
She can even shoot with her eyes closed, apparently

Carlien Dirkse van den Heuvel, Maartje Paumen & Eva De Goede, Netherlands, field hockey, gold
Carlien and Maartje scored the winning goals for the Netherlands. And they’re also the Dutch team’s out lesbian couple. They’re what I call a big, gay two-fer.

Norwegian Handball Team, gold
Fine, I also really, really miss all their abs.


Shannon said...

You made my day with this post - all these wonderful female athletes from around the world really brought their A games to these Olympics and gave the world a really great show of female power!

Thanks for including such a diverse group of athletes from around the world in your piece and not just focusing on the US athletes, though as an American I will say that the women of the USA made be beam with pride - then again as a member of Team World, so did ALL the female athletes from the 204 competing nations (minus those DQ'd badminton players).

Being that it's the 40th anniversary of Title IX this year, how very exciting to see such a strong showing of female athleticism!

P.S. - Yeah, how can I get myself those 'Ennis' abs? Also the abs of our female track and field stars from the US. Wow!

ithil said...

Yay, Norway! :D

Anonymous said...

I loved how all my pals who play on the same team would alert the rest of us all over the world at how well they did via FB...that way we knew who was what and became more interrested into other athletes..it became a true community and for that I am thankful because I can hope that the networks would pay more attention to women and to more diverse sports than just the usual professional powers which in my mind are effing boring compared with amateur sports. We need to speak up in defense of womens' sports to the media and support them by going to the games. Now, when are the Gay Games on and where..and some of us will be competing in the World's Masters next year...yeah!

pecola said...

No need to experience those Olympic withdrawals:

The WNBA resumed their season last Thursday and with foreign players rejoining their teams, competitiveness has stepped up a notch. You can catch Sue Bird and her perfect ponytail (seriously, it never loses it's pre-game luster) tonight on ESPN2 as the Seattle Storm play the Minnesota Lynx.

The U-20 Women's World Cup just started in Japan on Sunday and #TeamUSA opened group play with a 4-0 win vs. Ghana (aka the Black Queens). Granted, I feel a wee bit lecherous watching but it's always great to see the next generation of soccer stars who'll join Megan Rapinoe and Alex Morgan in Rio (Maya Hayes, FTW!). ESPN3 streams the games live and ESPNU re-broadcasts some during primetime.

Oh, and the US Open begins, in earnest, on Monday. Plenty of bulging biceps and spectacular specimens of human evolution to bear witness to...

They can't always be golden but women's sports are always a sight to behold.

sofff said...

speaking of abs & Celine Dumerc...

Burns the Fire said...

Righteous!! It's about freaking time.

sopdebop said...

I'm going to be THAT person and say you forgot one of the truly awesome moments (for us Brits anyway) Katherine Grainger winning in the double skulls (rowing apparently) and giving a real SGALGG moment with Anna Watkins...

Anonymous said...

Where is the hot brazilian's volleyball players????