Friday, August 03, 2012

Olympic Vacattion Vixen: Kayla Harrison

What I love about the Olympics, besides everything, are the interesting sports you never get to see on TV. Like rowing and archery and judo. When placed in the Olympic setting, these skills seem monumental and fascinating. Of course, they’re monumental and fascinating all the time. But the Olympics are required to finally shine the spotlight on the results of years of hard work, dedication and sweat. So today, please enjoy U.S. gold medal winning judo bad ass Kayla Harrison. Also, is it just me or does she totally look like the more buff big sister of Heather Morris?


pecola said...

The only thing more remarkable than her gold medal? Her story of survival: For Judo Champion, a Painful Path to Gold

Vesna said...

Sure does :) And a cute one, too.
As for the "tv uncommon sports", I miss the days I spent watching gymnastics championships with my dad... nowadays its all soccer (at least in Croatia) with occasional shots of other big-money team sports, depending on the current rating of national teams. Oh, Svetlana Khorkina, my heart still aches...

Anonymous said...

Maybe if Heather Morris and Katee Sackhoff had a miracle love child.

Anonymous said...

Darling! I’m back!

HG lives! Hurrah! And so do I! Double hurrah!!! (Have to admit it was touch and go for a while though.)

Seems I’ve missed quite a bit? Top of the list of course was you so gloriously throwing caution to the wind and ‘selling’ your precious anonymity for a paltry thirteen grand! Snarks, what the hell were you thinking?! $20,000 would have been a fairer price surely?! I say though darling, those vicious rumours were way off the mark! Way off! All those years in bronze appear to have left you remarkably well preserved! So much so in fact that I’d gladly stump up $36,000 for dinner and a movie (of your choice). Naturally you would have to promise to get that famous tank top of yours out of moth balls! ;)

IPPON!!! I might have known you would share my appreciation for female judokas Snarks! ;) I also bet you took particular pleasure in the fact your girl routed my girl on her home patch?! Damn you! Actually, I’m told my girl “ain’t that boffered” and is very much looking forward to trouncing your girl in Rio! It was all rather thrilling though wasn’t it? Most especially Gemma’s hair!

I suspect what we are witnessing there is a phenomenon akin to Samson? I swear the more spectacular the hair, the more speculator the fighting prowess!

Anyway, the intrigue and sinister extravagance of the Opening Ritual (ruddy sun-worship and other such occultic shenanigans everywhere one dared look!) and the excitement of the judo and the rowing aside (who in their right mind could fail to be excited by those ravishing Amazons?!) it’s been disappointing quiet with my services only being called on once thus far in the proceedings.

After a good two hours of fevered contemplation and consultation I decided that what those unsporting rascals deserved (and so very desperately needed!) was a lesson in the importance of playing the game. To that end I engaged the services of the valiant chaps and chapesses of the Fingringhoe Hunt. (Darlings, you don’t need me to remind you just how many frustrated bloodthirsty hounds, huntsmen, and huntswomen there are in this country thanks to the old hunting ban! Champing at the proverbial bit the whole bloody lot of them!) I gave the naughty Asians a twenty minute start before sending those eager hounds on their merry way with the scents of eight sweaty sport bras strong in their nostrils!

I am afraid I cannot for the moment say precisely what happened. I have received several conflicting but equally hair-raising accounts. I can however report that Yu Yang has since quit not only badminton, but sport entirely. No backbone whatsoever that one!

Speaking of backbones. Team GB what the hell is going on?!! Have the damn Yanks spiked your G&Ts?!! The stiff upper lips are malfunctioning left, right, and bloody centre! Good God! Pull yourselves together! You’re letting the side down!

PD, The Deluxe Extra Strength Special Ambassador (First Class) to ‘London 2012’

Anonymous said...

PS Darlings, I am touched by your concern! Oh alright, I shall tell you exactly what it was that befall me. It was a very nasty dose of the old Delhi Belly I’m afraid. (Pedantically speaking, ‘Mumbai Belly’ would, I suppose, be more accurate.) You see I was in Mumbai on the verge of what should have been one of the biggest scoops of a distinguished journalistic career. A little birdie had tweeted in my ear that two of the biggest female stars of Bollywood are in fact happily, but ever so secretly, shacked up together surrounded by a dozen or so miniature dachshunds! Not only that, but the little birdie had also informed me that they had had about enough of all the subterfuge and wished for me to have the immeasurable honour of revealing their little secret to the world! You can imagine my excitement!

So there I was in a beautiful flower garden sipping Assam tea and being fanned by a Mongolian eunuch manservant... Miniature dachshunds yapped at my feet while I listened intently as two of the most stunning beauties I have ever set eyes upon regaled me with tales of forbidden passion and stolen kisses between takes... It was all going swimmingly until that first wave of nausea hit. First to go was my concentration, next my composure, finally, and most humiliatingly, my half digested lunch! Worst of it was the damn half digested lunch wound up in the lap of one of the afore mentioned beauties! I have never been so embarrassed (or ill!) in my entire life!

Actually, I should take this opportunity to thank the doctors and nurses of Bombay Hospital, Mumbai. Without their expertise and patience I very much doubt I would be here to speak to you now.

PPS In light of events the two Bollywood beauties have, I am afraid, elected to postpone indefinitely their coming out.

PPPS No, the beauties were not to blame for the offending lunch! I am in the process of suing the restaurant responsible for all they are worth! ;)

Anonymous said...

PPPPS Snarks! How the hell could you forget this Olympic Vixen?!!

What a star!!! :D

danamitey said...

Ummm...I c...nice ...comments... you got there

Anonymous said...

the under appreciated sports like; fencing, badminton, and many others only get recorded for us every 4 years....rowing at least not for us Canadians, is a pretty big event and seeing those athletes that are in the international arena row on the Elk Lake near Victoria is a treat for all of us commuters. The feeds finally let us catch maybe a few secs. of these sports and then one has to dig around for more information. what is truly amazing is the amount of terrific athletes that play for our team. having a network of FB maniacs from many countries helps define the best of their countries which makes the experience that much richer and helps our community! all right, I will write it....GO Canada and play your heart out in the soccer game against the will be nice to see Wamby and Sinky go head to head in their pursuits of international goals....neck and neck now! it should be a great game!