Tuesday, December 09, 2008

SGALGG: The Call in Gay Edition

Cough, sniffle, queer. Oh, I'm sorry. Don't mind me. I'm feeling a little, um, gay today. In fact, I'm feeling so terribly gay, I might have to call in gay tomorrow. You know, just in case this whole gay thing doesn't clear up in time. Tomorrow, Dec. 10, has been deemed the Day Without A Gay. Besides rhyming, the movement is another protest of Proposition 8 and all its ilk. But this time instead of marching down the middle of the street with fantastic signs and booming chants, we are all encouraged to call in sick to work and donate our time to a worthy cause Wednesday. [Hat tip, Meenoo and Lopey!]

I can see this conversation with bosses around the country already: “Hello, look, I'm sorry I've got to call in gay today...Yeah, I'm running a high gayver so I'm definitely too gay to work right now...Oh, don't worry. Gay is not contagious ...OK, sometimes Jennifer Beals has been known to cause mass outbreaks of the gay, but otherwise, it's completely nontransferable. I promise...Fine, Tina Fey can make you a little gay, too...And Rachel Maddow...And...fine, so it's a little contagious. See, this is why I need to stay home. I'm totally gay. Later!”

Even if you can't take the day off work, you can still be a part of the nation boycott by not buying anything, spending money or supporting the economy in any way. And Henry Paulson thought he had problems before. As we learned last week, every time a gay finds love at the parade there's money to be made. In essence, we're telling the country that if they like that gay dollar, they'd better – in the immortal words of Beyonce – put a ring on it.

And, of course, you don't have to be GLBT to participate. You can keep your straight dollar in your pocket, too. In fact, from the looks of things everyone wants to get in on this calling in gay business. I mean, look at all the Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals just so they, too, can call in gay. Heck, we've even got Gay Gals Acting Like Gay Gals With Straight Gals, or GGALGGWSG for slightly shorter (I love acronyms that sound like gargling rocks). And with that, please enjoy SGALGG: The Call In Gay Edition.

Felicity Huffman & Marcia CrossCalling in gay takes practice, lots and lots of practice.

Emily Deschanel & Rose McGowanThe classic “Oh, honey, I left a little lipstick on you” move.

Tilda Swinton & Kate Del Castillo The look that results afterward in the classic “Oh honey, I left a little lipstick on you” move.

Iman & Nicole KidmanI can't tell if Iman wants to kiss Nicole or lick her forehead to make sure it's not made of plastic.

Kate Bosworth & Helena ChristensenI has a snuggle bunny.

Angelina Jolie & Jacqueline BissettI'd forget about Brad in a hurry, too, if I saw Jacqueline.

Lily Tomlin & Meryl StreepLily graciously helps Meryl with her gay method acting.

Cate Blanchett & Juliette LewisWell, I hope that Juliette at least asked first.


Anna said...

Brilliant! If I remember correctly they did a similar demonstration here i Sweden in the late 70s, when being gay was still seen as a disease in the eyes of the law.. Well thankfully things are changing and as from next year we can get marrried not just register a "partnership".

;)) babs said...

I wish they could do that over here in austria!

(super pic of cate b. + juliette lewis! LOL)

;)) babs

Melanie said...

I'm taking the day off. In addition to volunteering and not spending any $$, I'll be changing my handsome profile pic on Facebook to the "Day Without" avatar for 24 hours and updating my status with a request that all my friends and family think about the gay people in their lives and how anti-gay ballot initiatives impact them/us.

I live in Massachusetts and work for a great company, but I was born and raised in the deep South. I'm hoping some of the red state friends and relations that I keep in touch with on FB and who love me dearly despite their political views will be reminded that anti-gay "initiatives" hurt people that they know and care about.

Hat-tip to you, Ms. Snarker, for spreading the word.

Bee said...

ewww, Jacqueline Bissett is Angelina's godmother!

let me dance said...

hum..the tshirts look nice.
thank you for the post ds.

see you.

Dawg said...

Felicity Huffman ... Yummo!

I'm calling in gay tomorrow!

Lopey said...

I wish I could really throw myself into DWAG tomorrow, but unfortunately I have finals :( BUT, I am informing everyone in my student groups/friends/allies about Day Without A Gay, because awareness is key. While most of us don't spend real money off campus anyways (unless I could stop paying tuition for a day! That would be fantastic!), it's still important to have people aware of what is going on with the movement so that they are ready for the next event. Light up the Night, Dec. 20th! I'm so there! I think a lot of places are going to be tweaking the "Second Class Citizen" idea (I know San Diego will be handing out "1st Class Citizen, 2nd Class Rights" that evening.

Alex said...

While I like the concept of this, I'm not participating. I fail to see how my not showing up to tutor children who desperately need the help in reading would strike a blow for equality.

Patty Diphusa said...

I didn't understand a word (I'm Spanish, so I don't speak English), but I loved the pictures.

dc said...

That was a hoot, Ms. Snarker...[chuckle]

Some trivia: do u know that Jacqueline Bissett is Angelia's godmother?

And Lily Tomlin & Meryl Streep look heavenly together...meow

Seriously? said...

The entire concept is embarrassing.

Gloria Noto said...

I called in gay today!

J9 said...

I'm calling in bi tomorrow - does that count? Not just because I am, but also because my company today informed me, and 5 of my 9 employees that we are not highly valued enough to keep on past 4/1/09. I am pissed off, and feel a bit pissed on as well, and I might even get pissed tonight.

jennifer from pittsburgh said...

Seeing as I'm self employed, I'm going to totally screw myself over tomorrow on the work front and hang out with my sister, drink rum based cocktails, and sing jingles from the 70s. If things really get crazy we'll put antlers on the dog. Nothing more. That's it. We've mellowed in our impending croneage. It's sad, really, that I don't piss anyone off enough anymore that they pee in my gas tank. Such is life.

Anonymous said...

According to the official website for Day Without A Gay, the LGBT community and their allies, if they choose to, can call in gay today. I called in bi as well. :)

Anonymous said...

kate del Castillo???? de donde salio esa foto?

Anonymous said...

as a queer activist, I don't like this because there are so many BETTER ways to show that the community is there.
Because something like this DOES NOT WORK unless everyone participates, and there are so many cases in which people are NOT ABLE to.

It really won't have any effect unless thousand and thousands of people do it.....which will not happen. because most of the LGBT community is apathetic and does not care.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, DWAG couldn't work for me. I work in the Castro in San Francisco and buy my food/groceries from places where the owners absolutely did not support prop 8.


Anonymous said...

"because most of the LGBT community is apathetic and does not care."

As in the whole community? Really?

Anonymous said...

Someone needs to recap the 12/9 ep of The Daily Show. Jon talking about gay marriage with Mike Huckabee. Jon Stewart is the new Keith Olbermann. ;)

Anonymous said...

If you've been involved with the queer community and activism, you realize how few people are really willing to go out there and do something.

I was hoping with the whole Prop 8 thing....that would change. And it did for a bit, with the rallies throughout the country.....but then again everyone has gone back into the mindset that nothing can be done.

miss sunday said...

imnan once touched my butt. no lie.