Saturday, December 29, 2007

Pre-L: LGB Tease

L501: “LGB Tease”
We want dinghy! We want dinghy! We want…ah, damn. Well, here we go again. Hey, doesn’t Jenny know there is a writers strike? Pencils down, girlfriend. Otherwise we’re going to have to start calling you a dirty scab along with bat-shit crazy. A quick refresher for those playing at home, the Pre-L precaps contain spoilers, obscene language and, whenever possible, nudity. So if you don’t like being spoiled, cursed at or seeing naked ladies…dude, why are you even here? [Click any of the images to enlarge.] So without further ado.

1) Jenny’ dialogue, it sucks. But these ladies, they still rock.2) And so begins the Tibette hook-up pool. Place your bets now.3) Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.4) It took 9 minutes and 39 seconds for the first Alice sighting. Someone needs to get fired.5) Kit doesn’t see Shane on fire when she is with Paige. Welcome to Foreshadowing 101.6) Helena is in for some daddy issues.7) Dear Ilene Chaiken: If it has video, it’s a vlog. Sincerely, Ms. Snarker8) It’s hard out there for a pimp.9) Paige should always remember to knock.10) So Jenny writes a book, gets it published, gets it optioned, gets it greenlit, gets to write the script, gets to rewrites the script and now gets to direct the picture. Yep, Tina, you are in hell.11) Oh, wait. No, I was wrong before. Now you are in hell, Tina.12) Note to self: Invest in blindfolds.13) And so ends our lesson in foreshadowing. Any questions?14) Alice, buttons got nothin’ on her cuteness.15) Hey, shouldn’t she be in Iraq?
New Guestbian Count:
Best Line, Part I: “Playa del Carmen? That’s not nearly far enough away.” - Bette when she learns where Jenny is staying
Best Line, Part II: “Shit.” - Shane when she sees Jenny has returned
Best. Advice. Ever.: “Don’t drop the soap.” - Alice to Helena

UPDATE: I can’t believe I spelled “dinghy” wrong, twice. This is what happens when I post 20 minutes before I have to leave for the airport. Be sure to tune back in next week for the naughty Pre-L edition of “LGB Tease.” Bow-chicka-bow-wow, indeed.


Anonymous said...

Thank you, thank you. Really appreciate this, knowing you're away and all.I love being spoiled. So we get the goody bits next week then?

sam991 said...


Oh Shane, for that you get to go on The Wall of Awesome.

Unknown said...

Whoa! Helena's daddy is former (kick) boxer Lucia Rijker?! Awesome :)

Anonymous said...

It's a new season. I feel unclean for looking forward to it.

Tina is in hell. Alice is cuter than any buttons I've ever seen.

Can Jenny go back in the dinghy? Can Max join her? Can IC+EZ be included?

Anonymous said...

Bye bye bye bye paige! Hello tasha

They are all looking good this season.

Happy Birthday 30th Birthday Kate Moennig.

Thanks for the pre-caps Dorothy!

Anonymous said...

tad off topic but if i see another straight chick say Tina is hot! or Tina is hot on a message board i'm going to go ballistic. they sound like idiots.

other than that i LOVE jenny! without jenny the l word would be boring as all hell.

Anonymous said...

I think you meant "Tina is hot as hell" ;)
Thanks for the pre-cap!

Anonymous said...

re: Best quote I: Bette's such a hypocritical cunt.

re: Best quote II: Shane is the only one who's happy to see Jenny and that's just the way it should be, since none of the rest of them have hearts.

Anonymous said...

9 MINTUES and 39 SECONDS before an ALICE sighting!!??? What the *$#%*!!!! Whose sleeping on the job?? Alice is what we, yes, we want anyway, anyform, anywhere, anytime!!! Must Ilene drive me crazy every new years!!! Ahem, now I've protested, let me thank you for posting Ms. Snarker.

Anonymous said...

Hey anon@8:25am -- is it okay when gay women say Tina is hot as hell? Because you know what? Tina is hot as hell!

Anonymous said...

Not a Jenny fan. not at all. I was hoping the dinghy had a hole in it and she sunk to the bottom of the pacific.

Paige can go with her.

Poor T. But B and Jodi are hot, I can't help it!

Alice is the love of my life, the one sleeping on the job should be kicked in the baby maker.

Tasha=hot sex

Anonymous said...

Alice: "They were like 'Ms Peabody is abroad.' I said, 'I know she's a broad, and not a very classy one.'" Teehee. The visiting Helena in prison scene was hilarious!

Anonymous said...

"Paige should always remember to knock."
Lol love your comments

Anonymous said...

I'm really beginning to wonder about me. I mean, I know I'm not right in the head and all and I prove this time and time again, but why is it that the closer we get to TLW, the less excited I'm getting? Could it be a bug? Some mental, emotional or some other trauma? Has Ilene Chaiken ruined me? (not that there was much to ruin to begin with). Seriously, what the heck is wrong with me?