Friday, May 04, 2007

Michelle Rodriguez shoots straight back

As has become the trend with so many celebrities these days, Michelle Rodriguez has gone to the internet to set the record straight. And by straight, I mean non-gay. The actress recently labeled as bisexual by Curve magazine (Lord, don’t get me started on that oh-so-stellar piece of journalism again), wrote a rambling and roaming post on her official website responding to the story. I’ll let you read the whole thing yourself (just be warned, between the small font size, random capitalization and misspelling of the past participle of “be,” you will need some ibuprofen or perhaps a stiff drink -- preferably both).

I’ll give you the unedited highlights with my interpretation below. I had considered responding with interpretive dance, but it’s no fun to watch someone roll into a ball and whimper.

“I thought I would Update you guys on what's going on lately, I know I've bin quiet, for the most part anyway. As far as rumors go of me coming out, I guess curve magazine took it upon themselves to out me on the premise of their own suspicions. Whatever, I'm not insulted, I have a big lesbian following, and for whatever reasons they show me love I'm never going to shun, disrespect or neglect anybody who shows me genuine non-psychotic Love.”

Right, so what I’m taking away from this is that perhaps lesbians should be more choosy about who they show love to.

“Look, I guess what I'm trying to say ultimately is that, if I wanted people to know what I do with my Vagina I would have released A sex video a long time ago. Yet i haven't done that. You know why? Because extremists can rarely be mediators, mass communicators, or chameleons for that matter. I have bin an extremist in my personal life, Yes. Yet I have never really over stepped the boundaries consciously in the public eye.”

Hmm, is she saying everyone who is out is an extremist? Or that everyone who releases a sex tape is an extremist? Because I think a more accurate term for the latter would be an exhibitionist.

“If I were Ellen I may get away with: ' The I'm Gay' level of exposure, but I'm not a comedian, I like men; ( real One's Anyway) and I've only bin in this business for 7 years not 20. Years of recognition can give a person lots of leverage especially if you have many years of positive recognition under your belt. There are certain things that can close doors between a celebrity and certain audiences.”

Uh, so I believe here she is saying that if she didn’t like men, she would be ready to come out in about 13 years.

“I want to communicate on a worldly scale, i don't care if your a bigot, highly religious, gay, poor, rich,stupid, or intelligent, i close no door when it comes to my media work. Some people, ( I call them 'the sheep People'), are highly susceptible to outside influences and suggestions, Especially that of recognizable media channels. These people may make up most of the worlds population. They may not want to even watch a film I produce, direct, or star in, because of Mediocre Rumors produced by insect sucubus media hounds looking for a quick buck.”

While I appreciate her ambitious (attempted) use of the word “succubus,” somehow I feel the irony of its definition might be lost on her.

Listen, I respect Michelle’s right to come out on her own terms, but I take issue with her reasoning. She thinks she can’t come out or even be perceived as gay (really, she kind of flip-flops between the two) because people will hate her irrationally. Well, duh. Welcome to the club. And you know what the solution to that is? More people coming out. Fear of the unknown motivates most of the hatred in this world. And the more people see that gay people are normal and everywhere (and famous), the less they will be able to randomly hate us. No one said doing the right thing was easy or painless. But progress doesn’t come without courage.

Basically, this whole thing makes me tired. And it makes me think that possibly Michelle has a lot of storage issues at home. Otherwise, why else would she keep talking about all those bins?


Cal said...

What makes the interest of Michelle Rodriguez? Ok, she's not a bad actress, Ok, her shape is quite interesting, and... she was supposed to be gay. Is that such an important thing? Now, for sure, we know that she follows Hollywood rules as many others. End of the story.

Anonymous said...

"I want to communicate on a worldly scale, i don't care if your a bigot, highly religious, gay, poor, rich,stupid, or intelligent, i close no door when it comes to my media work".

Wow, how very kind of you, Michelle bin Rodriguez! Bigots, gays and idiots of the world, rejoice! Ms Rodriquez will NOT shun you!

"If I were Ellen I may get away with: 'The I'm Gay' level of exposure, but I'm not a comedian, I like men"

Hmm, I'm not a comedian either, does that mean I'm straight?!

Seriously, I think Mrs Bin, should redirect her anger towards her teachers. Or maybe just hire someone to write her posts, because "You don't know what producer, director, would be husband or future audience member may be influenced by these opinions and media content." And let's face it, we wouldn't want her marriage potential hampered by her site's media content, would we?

Anonymous said...

I like that she has spelling errors. It shows she's normal. Besides, I think maybe saying "bin" is just her way of shortening "been". Since her rambles come from a place of well-spoken depth I would imagine she does know how to spell "been", but just chooses not to for whatever reason (time, being funny, etc?). Anyway, I think she is totally correct and I love her honesty. She doesn't hide behind a publicist, she speaks for herself. This message was to her fans I guess, and they'll understand and if you guys picked it up and decided to over analyze it I think that shows you have the problem, not her. She seems cool enough. I like it!

Anonymous said...

Brava to you, Dorothy. You make all the essential points about the power of coming out and you make a few laughs along the way.

Heather Anne Hogan said...

My eyes! My eyes!

That was painful. But, as usual, you made it bearable, Dorothy.

Metasin Girl said...

Yay, more blog-arrhea from another celebrity! Congrats to Michelle for writing something even crazier than Gillian.

And I have an idea of why she’s obsessed with “bins.” (5 letters - starts with ‘L’ and ends in ‘Y’).

I can’t decide which is my favorite quote:

“...genuine non-psychotic Love”
“...Mediocre Rumors produced by insect sucubus media hounds looking for a quick buck.”

Eh, think I’ll stick with my current fave: “Be Adequite!” - La Lohan

SLS said...

OUT, THE ADVOCATE, AND cURVE magazine have now become the "thorn" in the side of lesbian and gay privacy. Forget george bush...these magazine are taking away the choices that we are suppose to make on our own. Times sure are changing; not for the good!

Anonymous said...

what I don't like is how she "picks on" Ellen. Ellen was so brave and courageous to do what she did then, and the situation we have now is due to her. Michelle wouldn't have a following after being "outed" if not for Ellen. Bringing her up is just playing dirty.

Anonymous said...

Frankly, I read this and I still don't know what the hell she said. All I really got was she likes men. Congratulations, we lesbians will now be very happy to part ways with you as someone whom we used to hold in esteem. And it's not because she says she likes men(We LOVE the very straight LUCY LAWLESS, don't we?) Even though it's hard to get through the sex feens and bins, I feel like she's insulted us. Honey, it's ok if you're bi. Come on out, we're not that bad.

Anonymous said...

The whole thing makes me tired, too. And a little sad for her. It's a private matter - one's erotic interests, I mean.

Anonymous said...

Reply #3 = Leigh a/k/a webmistress. I recognize your writing patterns.

.-.-.- said...

That was damn pathetic. She is entitled to her privacy exactly as everyone else is and I understand where she's coming from, but this ? Puh-lease !
That whole statement was so lame. Way to irk your fan-base.
Also, I'm not a native speaker and I don't make half of these spelling mistakes.

Anonymous said...

Gay or straight . . . I couldn't give a cheese ball! Just do us all a favour and someone show the girl where the spell-check button's "bin" hiding! Luckily, a lack of either availability or literacy in no way curbs my sexual drooling! I'm sure you'll get better at explaining your thoughts Michelle. In the meantime, keep looking at the camera, so that I can indulge in a bit of "genuine, non-psychotic" lust. Shallow . . . very shallow, but, "worldly".

Anonymous said...

Dorothy - thanks for not making me read the whole thing - your synopsis says it all - the woman has more than spelling issues - but who really cares???

Anonymous said...

1 - What she´s trying to say with that "I like men; ( real One's Anyway)" ?
2 - And she´s not normal because she´s spelling errors...She just analphabet...
3 - Whatever...She´s just "a body", a shape...! Don´t you expect to see her acting in some "The Hours", "Dogville", "Volver"...
4 - And Dorothy...Thank you a lot