Friday, May 25, 2007

Look, lesbians. Wow, I’m suddenly thirsty.

The Commercial Closet announced its 2007 nominations for the Images in Advertising Awards. If you aren’t familiar with the CC, by all means check it out. It’s a great place to discover obscure European ads of insanely sexy lesbian action or -- as I like to call it -- “conduct research.” But as I was looking over the 10 nominated campaigns for Outstanding Lesbian Portrait (scroll to the bottom) I was a bit perplexed. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate every crumb of maybe, perhaps, if-you-squint-and-turn-your-head-sideways lesbian representation in the media. But that said, some of the nominees seem to be lacking in the gay. Instead they’re just attractive pictures of attractive women in close proximity to one another.

Like, say, here. OK, they’re two women getting out of a limo together. Clearly, the champagne makes it gay.Or this one. Sure, at least these gals are visibly touching, but the one on the right just comes across as impatient to me. And kinda pushy. Oh, wait, that must be the gay part.And, seriously, don’t get me started on the crazy vodka-drinking lesbian robot ones. Is this a variation on the “dykes love their power tools” theme? Plus, if you look closely, the gal next to Short Circuit v2.0 is wearing a fur bikini. Subtle.Some of the other ads were more overt, but no less bizarre.

Take Ms. I Do A Lot of Crunches who seems to have been stricken with sudden paralysis of the arms. That’s going to make it really hard for her to pick up her beer.While here, clearly, we’re being given a visual retort to that old “Harder than finding a lesbian in a haystack” refrain.Not that I didn’t enjoy some of the ads. The Orbitz ad was cute. And the Time ad was sweet. And the Logo portraits of Subaru-driving lesbians (really, are their any other kind?) were rather refreshing. And I must shamefully confess that I think some of those haystack ones are a kinda hot. I can’t help it. The Midwestern gal in me is a sucker for straw.


ComputerClass said...

Here's the Orbitz ad with the two lesbians in the airport:

And then here's another with gay men:

As for that Bud Light ad with the frozen paralyzed chick - WTF? She looks terrified and unable to breathe because she's flexing her abs so hard.

Anonymous said...

Ha, the first photo of 2 women getting out of the car is tagged under "straight male fantasy"..
And that fur bikini is just nasty!

Anonymous said...

The group haystack shot is creepy - they look like corpses. One woman even has her hand around the throat of another.
I think the robot is creepy too.
Well, at least the slogan for Ms. Human Icepick is accurate: "Taste the Cold".

Metasin Girl said...

Oh, the irony of the Coors ads for lesbians. Not so long ago, they were still trying to stone gays to death (well, with bottles, perhaps - not actual stones. That way, it could double as a photo op). And, of course, Mary Cheney was their corporate whore until 2000, went she went to work on BushCo’s campaign and became their neocon whore.

Oops, sorry. Didn’t mean to get all serious there...

I think the D&G hay pics are kinda hot. I spent a few months once on a farm. Btw, hay?? So NOT soft and comfy! That shit’ll scratch a bitch up faster than you can say, “mmm...the farmer’s daughter...”

Bainshee said...

Oh shit, it's after 7:15 and I apparently missed lesbian drinking time.