Mother Mary, how seasonal...

Well, as you probably already know, Mary Cheney and her longtime partner Heather Poe are expecting a child. The vice president’s lesbian daughter has always been the most prickly and frustrating of dichotomies to me. So let’s get right to the key issue here. Ladies, the hair. The hair. Is this really the kind of hair we want bringing a child into the world? Is this the kind of hair that represents happy, healthy gay parenting? Is this the kind of hair that says, “Screw you conservative wingnuts!” and “Thanks, but no thanks liberal activists,” we’re doing this our way? I think not. This is the kind of hair that barks orders to sweaty yet nubile basketball players from the sidelines at Virginia Tech.