Wednesday, August 09, 2006

An open letter to Sarah Michelle Gellar

Dear Sarah Michelle Gellar,

You know I LOVED you in Buffy. Girl, you were fierce. I own all seven seasons on DVD. I may or may not (but let’s face it, it’s more likely may) own a couple Buffy action figures.

That said, I feel I must say this for the good of your career and my image of you as an actress who does not suck.

Please, stop making supernatural thrillers. Just stop. Stop it now.

I just saw this trailer for “The Return,” and let me tell you, it sounds an awful lot like “The Grudge.” You know: a bad thing happens, the bad thing comes back and now the bad thing is after Sarah Michelle Gellar, but this time she has brown hair. Someone wake me from my been-there, done-that, bored-now coma.

I noticed on IMBD that you have a couple romantic comedies in the works (though to be honest, those haven’t – cough, “Simply Irresistible,” cough – worked out so well for you in the past) and a few dramatic ensemble pieces. These are all good signs.

Because if I ever see you looking scared in another supernatural thriller that doesn’t have “Buffy” attached to the title, I’ll put a stake through your heart myself. Metaphorically, of course, not in a creepy stalker way.

Ms. Snarker

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