Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Pre-Pre-L: Girls in Tight Dresses

Oh, kittens, kittens. Sometimes the heavens open up and drop manna into your lap. And by manna, I mean the girls of “The L Word” in those proverbial tight dresses. While no one is dragging with mustaches just yet, give Max time. The character and group promo pictures for the sixth and final season are in and they're, well, they're kind of crazy. As in crazy hot. But, um, is it just me or do they all kind of look like models for a new TLW cut-out paper doll collection? Granted, I'm not grumbling. Pictures of beautiful women? Yes, Mama Chaiken, may I have another?

[Click any and all to enlarge and don't forget the link love.]

Jennifer BealsBette in a hot dress and a pair of Louboutins? Hold on. I've got something I've got to do...with my hands...for a minute. Though, hey, where is her other arm? Is Tina behind her?

Laurel HollomanTina, while your mini is just long enough so I can't quite see London or France, I can see your tattoo. Does Bette know?

Leisha HaileyNobody move, Alice has been attacked by a 1980s prom dress. Don't frighten the bubble skirt or it'll pull a pair of jelly sandals or a can of Aqua Net from its depth and hurl it at your head.

Kate MoennigOh, thank God, Shane is looking very Shane today again.
That whole dress thing was weirding me out.

Pam GrierAll we are saying, is give Kit some lines. “Baby girl!” doesn't count.

Rachel ShelleyStealing money, going to jail, fleeing from jail, returning from fleeing and buying a lesbian nightclub agrees with you, Helena.
So does fringe.

Rose RollinsDear Tasha. Back that thing up. Love, lesbians everywhere.

Still not everyone got the new paper-doll treatment. (Serious, it's custom-made for naughty Photoshopping.) Poor Max, Phyllis and Jodi had their Season 4 promos recycled and Photoshopped to fit the shoot's black is the new black color scheme. I've put them all together, for the sake of expediency and to prove my Photoshopping point. Though, since no one necessarily wants to see this particular threesome, I've left the naughty bit out.

Mama Chaiken did make sure to include a promo shot of herself – in a tank top no less. Sometimes Ilene makes this shit too easy.

Now, before you throw your dog-eared copies of “Lez Girls” at my head, no – there was no promo of Mia Kirshner yet. This is either a simple oversight or a ridiculously unsubtle bit of foreshadowing. But, given the final group shot has both a sunset in the distance and a pool in the foreground, I'm going to assume that “subtle” is not part of the marketing department's vocabulary.

So, ladies, please enjoy. I'm anxiously awaiting your naughty Photoshop creations. Don't let me down, internets.

42 comments:

Lezlie Mac said...

No no no, Shane in a dress, that's just WRONG.
And 80's-Leisha isn't too flattering either. Thank whoever for the last group shot, even if it's not-so-subtle..
Photoshop is ON.

invisigoth said...

Ilene Chaiken. My my my.
That woman is just so fucking full of herself. It's sickening.

JB & LuH look smashing.

Thanks Miss Snarker! As always.

Detti said...

Rachel Shelley.... how many years are left till January??? ahhh...

Sarah said...

Isn't Alice wearing Jenny's dress from season five?

Elena said...

wow, the photoshop guys have been at it again. And is it my impression but did I catch a few semi-smirks here and there in the first pic?

Tina-cious.com said...

mmmmm Rose....

Anonymous said...

I'm not so worried about the dress on Kate M. I am more disturbed that she is somehow wider than everyone else? What did they photo shop every one down and stretch her out? This girls legs are as thin as Kits arm in person.

Why do they deform women so much? I love your paper doll cut out line.

JLW said...

That IC includes herself is such a crack-up. I guess she views herself as a lesbian icon. What other behind the scenes person includes themselves in the promo?

After this final season, IC will fade faster than Sarah Palin at a press conference.

Jessie MacRae said...

Good lord, Tina. You're HOT!

Rachel Shelly's backside, as always, is magnificent.

Dawg said...

Laurel Holloman ... fuckin-delicious!

Anonymous said...

i am in love with Jennifer Beals
i agree with Dorothy's comment...hands...

so beautiful..

beth said...

Ayyyyyiiieee get Shane out of the tu-tu, now!

Or just focus your eyes on Rose Rollins.

Anonymous said...

Miss Snarker, your commentary was priceless. Thank you!

Tina: you're too hot. Damn. Tasha and Bette look delicious, too.

Ilene: you and your ego crack my shit up.

Tina-cious.com said...

I have to say, I sure am enjoying all the "Tina you are hot" comments today.

(teehee)

Ale said...

Thanks for those pics.
Laurel and Rachel look really really hot. Love them.

Anonymous said...

mmm...Jennifer

So hot and beautiful!!!

Danielle said...

Laurel Holloman=MILF

speedy12 said...

My first time posting--but I have to say I agree with everyone on here, especially with Ilene being full of herself--but she did bring the LW to us...Thanks IC. Moving on--All the ladies look smashing!!!! BUT LAUREL TAKES THE CAKE WITH DA CANDLE!!! SHE IS WORKIN' DAT DRESS!!!!! SOMEONE OPEN A WINDOW--LAUREL IS TOOO HOTTTT!!!!!!

let me dance said...

ds, you seem very
exciting.

you look fun, so i'm happy.
see you soon
ah, the pics look great!
i like shane.

i was fun today, too! ^^

roark said...

I do hope someone sends you the bottom promo pic shopped with IC floating in the pool....I'd attempt it but my pc is shopless a the moment.

Anonymous said...

Laurel Holloman - One HOT Mama!!! To quote Dorothy, "I've got something to do ... with my hands ... for a minute." Holy hell!

cloverleaf108 said...

Ha ha ha, no solo shot of Mia. Instead we get one of Chaiken. Oh well....

Laurel looks fabulously gorgeous. Lucky Bette!

Leisha looks like she borrowed Jenny's helicopter dress in S5.

thewishfulwriter said...

YUMMY. I need a shower. A cold one.

Anonymous said...

"Nobody move, Alice has been attacked by a 1980s prom dress. Don't frighten the bubble skirt or it'll pull a pair of jelly sandals or a can of Aqua Net from its depth and hurl it at your head."

Ms. Snarker, bits like this are why I LOVE you, and why yours is the single best blog I have ever read. You ROCK!

Abso-freaking-lutely HILARIOUS!!!

Katherine Simon said...

Sometimes I really wish they'd make an at least vague attempt at subtlety... I'd almost like them to stick around another season just to see what classic movie they'd rip off next.

laura said...

I'm not one to whine, but Chaiken? For real? Girl, come on!!? She doesn't hold a match to Beals. Or her one arm.

I'm so moved by these photos though, that I've written a haiku to Tina and Tasha (does that make me super gay or what?)

Tina:
she is such a snooze
if by snooze you mean "hot damn"
laurel makes me swoon


Tasha:
soldiers rule my school
i want to touch the hiney
sorry but its true

Annenymous said...

I agree with Speedy12: Ilene Chaiken did bring us The L Word in the first place, so why is everyone always putting her down?

And as for her photo: could it be that IC has a great sense of humour? Which surprisingly many here seem to lack.

I'm sure IC knew exactly what kind of reaction she would be getting.

Anonymous said...

Oh, why Alexandra Hedison is not on these beautiful pics?...

Cerise said...

Why no Mia??? Why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clara said...

LOL. Shane in a dress looks so wrong. However, they look wonderful. Whats up with IC?!? haha

Microkritter said...

From the looks of the promo pic with the sunset I would say that Jenny gets kicked in the water by Bette. It's a theory in progress.

Lori B said...

Thanks so much...Gosh, Kate looks so beautiful. Mama Mia, where is Mia? Thanks girl.
Lori B

Juliana said...

Wow. 'L' is for Laurel's Long Legs..
She looks delicious.

yana said...

"Dear Tasha. Back that thing up. Love, lesbians everywhere."

LOL!

Anonymous said...

Only eyes for Laurel Holloman...though there's no Alexandra Hedison

(what was that movie where her hand gazed her own leg, then to smell its scent, put it to nose of woman sitting by her?)

Anonymous said...

wish Wendy Crewson would guest star...remember "an unexpected love"

Anonymous said...

Mmmm, Shane in a dress, out of a dress, I don't care as long as it's Shane!

Anonymous said...

I like these New Look Clothing Black Dresses.

Anonymous said...

I am so in love with Shane that it's rediculous. She haunts my dreams! GIVE ME!
But she should NOT be in a dress:P

elited said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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