Dear Mama Chaiken,
Sometimes, when you get it right you get it so right. Sure I've bitched. Sure I've moaned (both the good and bad kinds, ahem). But today when I read, straight from Xena's chakram, that none other than Lucy Lawless was going to make an appearance on the final season of “The L Word” I almost forgave you for all your transgressions. (Well, not Dana, I'll never forgive you for Dana. Or the floating words. Or the inexplicable character personality whiplash between seasons...wait, wasn't I forgiving you?)
But, hello, inspired casting. To have Xena and Bette on the same show? Now that's an Alpha Lesbian pairing for the ages. I mean it, that might almost be too much for our little gay brains to compute. You might hear heads exploding all across the globe. Talk about la mort heureuse.
Sure, we don't know the specifics yet. Lucy just told us to look for her “on The L Word at some point.” But she couldn't tell us anything about it because “it's deep in the closet.” That wording has to be ironic. Look, I'll tell you right now that Lucy and Jennifer Beals better share some screen time. That's just mandatory. In fact, she better meet and mingle with the entire cast. And, as a special favor, can you have her bring the breast plate? What? I had to ask.
So, many thanks for spreading lesbionic joy among the masses. And, just in case you still have a guest spot left for yet another dykon next season, might I suggest – oh, dream of dreams – Jodie Foster. Heck, if you can get Jodie I'll even forgive you for the Dana thing. Think about it.
With love (and sometimes hate),
p.s. While I'm a tad miffed you didn't tell me this gaytastic news in person, a big Warrior Princess sword tip to The Gentleman for relaying it instead.