Thursday, September 11, 2008

I only say this because I care

Dear America,

What the fuck? Seriously, huh? I go away for 10 days and you go ape shit. And by ape shit, I actually mean simians throwing poo. How did the bespectacled, beehived governor of Alaska become The Issue in this presidential election? Did someone slip something funny into my vacation margaritas and this is all really just a very strange, very bad dream? If so, I’m ready to wake up. Like, now. Like, yesterday. Like, make it stop.

Having observed (more like tried to avoid) the Palinification of this campaign for the past 11 days, I am of two minds as to what to do about this mess you find ourselves in. The big part of me wants to rip my hair out and scream at you, yes you, America. How could you fall into such a misguided and ultimately unrequited girlcrush? Remember back in high school when you had that crush and your friends, your parents, your teachers, your lunch ladies all told you she was totally, completely, dangerously wrong for you and you should just walk away and find a nice, sensible, worthy girl to give your affections to instead? Yeah, it’s like that, only so much more important.

Then there is another, smaller part of me that wants to do a begrudging golf clap to the entire Republican Party for such a brilliantly cynical political move. My God, they’re genius at being evil. I mean, who else could scream SEXISM at even the slightest disagreement over Palin’s credentials when they’re the ones who said Hillary Clinton’s voice reminded every man in America of a nagging wife demanding you “Take out the garbage!”? Who else could cry SMEARS when they’re the ones who put out an ad so patently false and sleazily misleading that every major news organization has decried its accuracy? Who is suddenly OUTRAGED by questions into a candidate’s personal life when they lead the torch-wielding mob that went after Obama for his ex-pastor Jeremiah Wright and spread the ridiculous rumors about him being a secret Muslim? They did. They did. They so fucking did. Shit, you have to hand it to those crafty elephants, they've got big brass ones when it comes to being utterly shameless. So I can see how you might get fooled at first glance, America, by their diabolical ways. But you and I both know that the truth still matters.

Look, America, I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye but you must know that deep down, I really do love you. I think you’ve got unlimited potential and a great big heart. And, most importantly, I know you’re not this dumb. So you're going to see though all of this devious spin and make a smart choice for your future. For now I’m going to give you some time to get over this little infatuation. Moon over she who should not be vice president as Charlie Gibson undoubtedly will lobs some softballs her way on TV tonight. I'm not worried. Clearly this just a phase (and not the gay kind of phase because we all know those are permanent). But come November 4, please promise me that this whole thing will be out of your system. I can't bear to see you throw yourself at someone else who is clearly not good enough for you. Remember the Dubya debacle? No one wants to see you you waste another eight years of your life on a mistake. I only say this because I care.

With love,
Ms. Snarker

p.s. Sarah Haskins totally agrees with me. So if you won't listen to me, America, please listen to the only sane Sarah in this scenario.

UPDATE: Oh, and just in case the sensible Sarah or I inspired you to "Just say no," check out Women Against Sarah Palin.
[Hat tip, Debbie and Jill!]


Marnie said...

Just wanted to let you know I sent this post to EVERYONE in my address book. You nailed exactly how I felt when I returned from Burning Man two weeks ago. I came off the plane in D.C. chalk full of positivity and hope for my fellow Americans. Unfortunately, it seems my optimism was fostered by the fact that there was no way to contact the outside world during the festival. At the GATE the TV was on CNN and PalinMania was in full force. Now, I can say with confidence that there was certainly something fun in my vacation margaritas... but its nothing to the republican roofie this country seems to have overdosed on.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for saying what I have also been feeling as of late.
I can not believe that I am hearing on the news that women are flocking to the Republican side and have put the McCain/Palin ticket on an ever growing increase in the polls.
WTF? The Republicans pull Sarah Palin out as their hat trick and hope to bamboozle the "Clinton" voters to their side. I thought, who are they kidding? Do they think that the women of this country are so simple minded in their thinking that we would simply get onboard because a woman is a woman, so we'll just go from Clinton to Palin without another thought?
Sarah Palin stands against everything that Clinton stood for and that Obama stands for and yet there are a great many people that have indeed been swayed by the self-proclaimed "pit bull/soccer mom". NOOOOO!!!!
I can only hope that the blinders are taken off and that people will see through all the hype and come election time the voters will realize that Sarah Palin is not who they think she is... she is not the savior of women and feminism everywhere, in fact she is simply not who we should have as second in command of the highest position in this country.
I'm all for women and equality and that we can do anything that men can do (and often times better), but Sarah Palin is not the woman who will do anything to help further the causes of women or help bring about change in this country!

Anonymous said...

I think what the republicans have been successful at making you forget...and the rest of America, is that Obama isn't running against Palin, he's running against McCain. The perpetuation of her in your blog and elsewhere is great media fodder and attention....and just helps their cause.

Saying that, Palin was a brilliant choice. She has a lack of experience (which Obama can hardly attack), she's a minority in politics (check), and she's as charismatic as Obama is. Maybe moreso.

When it comes down to it, Americans don't care if you're brilliant or even if voting for you is in their best interest...they want someone who is "like them," and she comes full of relatability.

Remember John Kerry? He stompled George Bush in every debate...but we didn't want eloquence or philosophical arguments...Americans wanted someone they could share a beer with. You know who wins that poll now? Palin. More people say they would want to share a beer with her rather than any other candidate. In America, that's practically a victory.

Despite this, remember that she is a woman...albeit a woman who has different opinions that I do, but even if I don't vote for her, I respect her prowess and savvy. She's got talent....and if Obama wouldn't have been so egotistical and selected the obvious running mate, Hillary, he'd never be in this position.

jennifer from pittsburgh said...

Once the debates start it's going to become increasingly difficult to keep McCain and Palin propped up. The economy is so terrible that this is going to prove to be an insurmountable stumbling block for the repubs.

Anonymous said...

Actually, what I'm worried about is that, during the debates, Republicans will continue to cry sexism anytime anyone challenges Sarah Palin on anything, while she blatantly lies about the bridge to nowhere and everything else.

Why are Republican party leaders so good at distorting, and why do they always seem to get away with it? Are we really that gullible?

Hopefully not this time...

O'Neill said...

THANK YOU! If I heard "pitbull in lipstick" one more time I might just go crazy. Hopefully the media will wise up and soon!

Anonymous said...

I wish you'd abstain from political commentary. I come here for SNARK and chicks.

Sarah in Chicago said...

Unlike the utter moron Anonymous above, I do come here for more than snark and beautiful women (good grief, the arrogance of presuming that what one comes here for should dictate what a person should blog on. Seriously)

I come for your insightful commentary, and you're totally on the money with this one.

Palin is dangerous on a HUGE level. Unlike Shrub, Cheney, and McCain who are in bed with the nutjob fundamentalists and evangelicals for political expediency, Palin actually Believes this crap. It's like they appointed in the religiousness of Huckabee with the utter insanity of Ron Paul, in heels.

I just don't get it. Really, I just don't. She's like the anti-Hillary.

nycrouge said...

Here's a hand clap for you, Ms. Snarker. And not begrudging golf clap, but a rousing one. Thank you for articulating what I've been screaming at my computer screen for the last week or so.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Ms Snarker, how my crush for you increases every day. Once again, you've nailed it.

Brilliant observations, my dear. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Max Gordon said...

I'm new to your blog, having just happened on it a few days ago, but already I am hooked. I just wanted to add that I think that all hopes that Obama-Biden any upcoming debates will crush any chances PALIN-McCain have are dangerously naive. First, the debates are (supposed to be) about issues, but Americans tend to vote for form, not substance. Second, the debates will clearly showcase Obama's superior knowledge, eloquence and grasp of reality—all things that, again, Americans seem to care very little about. And Finally (oh, there's more, but I have a blog of my own to worry about, if I can remember where I put it...) the debates will remind Americans that McCain is that old man who was a POW (like he was the only one...), and that Obama is...horrors!...a black man! For all our supposed advances and enlightenment, I am afraid that this country (unlike every OTHER majorly developed political powerhouse), is soooooo not ready to embrace diversity. My fear is that behind the sheltering curtains of the voting booth, all that hidden racism will vote in a ticket that could make the 8 years under GWB seem like the good old days. The problem is, how to we keep that from happening, when we all tend to preach to the converted, and have no idea how to reach those whose votes we really need?

Max Gordon said...

P.S. Sorry about the typos. I think someone slipped some decaf in my cup this morning, dammit. I suspect the Republicans.

Anonymous said...

You know, I'm nineteen, I have a white female (lesbian!) vote and I have absolutely no idea where to put it. I hate this. I hate that it can't be a hard choice because both the candidates are good people, people I want running this country, but instead it's a matter of choosing the lesser evil. I'm considering come November 4th to just hunker down in my basement and wait for the world to end. Bad things are coming and there are only bad people here to receive. Where's our ray of hope? Mudslinging McCain and his side kick Super-Unqualified Alaskan? Empty-Promises Obama and Back Peddling Biden?

I've never felt so terribly empty and hopeless as I do when I think about our future as an American people. I don't want to vote Democratic because it's plain and simple absolute and undeniable fact that a Democrat in office is bad for business. Always has been, always will be. Democrats may be more open minded, they may even have policies I agree with, but they are financially a lucrative idea. But I have waaaay too much personal integrity and self respect to force myself to stomach voting for someone who doesn't just degrade his opponent, he goes below the belt. LITERALLY. "I'm John McCain and I approve this message." Did he not SEE the ad? Did he not realize that that was a horrible, monstrous tactic to try and dehumanize Obama? I don't like Obama, I never have, it's just one of those things, but the fact that McCain tried to make him out to be a sex predator (essentially) rightly makes my blood boil. As a kid who was sexually abused for three years growing up, I APPRECIATE that Obama approved legislation for age appropriate sex education. I say sex education for the same reason any adult says sex education, because we know what the words mean. For kids, of course it'll be about "no no parts" and "bathing suit areas". And I think that's a great idea; one that could help prevent, I feel, much of the gray areas in children's minds. But I've completely digressed.

The point is, just like the Forefathers before us, I know that the US is NOT A TWO PARTY SYSTEM. I want my third option. I want my alternate choice. But there just isn't one to be found, and it breaks my heart, because we could fix this. All of it, from the degrading education system to the failing job market to the crashing housing market. But no one wants to do the hard work to get it done, and we're pacified by the quick fixes that they give us.

Thanks for being level headed Ms Snarker, I always feel less alone when I know that there are other people with good heads on their shoulders out there trying to make a difference.


Anonymous said...

PS: Uh... I let my keyboard run away with me and made a grievous error.

*Democrats may be more open minded, they may even have policies I agree with, but they are financially NOT a lucrative idea.

Sorry about that. How mortifying.

CAB said...

Selecting Palin as his running mate certainly made me pay more attention to the campaign itself. I admit it, I want a woman to get a shot a President and I was willing to to take VP as an option.
I was foolishly hoping that she might be the thing that made me happy to choose someone. No worries it took only moments and Palin saying that the Iraq war is God's will, to freak me out. (btw wouldn't we consider that a terrorist comment). She is scary and sure she's not running for President, but she sure as heck will have some influence. Besides, does the GOP really believe that we're going to vote for McCain/Palin strictly on the fact that Palin has a uterous?

Anonymous said...

God, I missed you. So glad you are back. I feel complete again. Next time you go away, you need to have some sort of auto-posting system lined up so that I don't feel so alone and empty.

Regarding the Palin rant - Word.

Charlotte said...

Couldn't agree more!! .....
I say: Ms. Snarker for (vice-)President!!!!
I'm sorry, I know...I know, it's much more serious. Now, I don't live in your part of the universe, but I hope things will (unexpectedly) turn out for the best in the end!

And so nice to have you back, Ms. Snarker!

Max Gordon said...

Having a DEMOCRAT in office is bad for business? I'll forgive you that since you are only 19 and possibly just repeating what your Republican parents have said, but I have to respectfully disagree with your unsupportable statement. First, you have to consider what you mean by business. If you mean that the Republicans are better for mega-corporations (oil companies, credit companies, banks, Wal-Mart, aerospace companies), there is some truth there. The Republicans do like to give tax "relief" (that is, ways to cheat get out of paying your fair share) to those guys. But small businesses—hello! most businesses are NOT mega-corporations!—don't reap those huge benefits, not do they get no-bid contract opportunities and tacit permission to break every environmental and hiring law there on the books. But let's just talk about the economy for a minute. Or we could talk about it for hours, and still be railing against the current state of things under Bush, who, although McCain occasionally tries to distance himself from the fact, is a classic Republican. The previous resident of the oval office who, you might recall, was a Democrat, left us with a budget surplus. GWB has fed his oil, aerospace, and infrastructure-building buddies with his bazillion-dollar war, essentially paying for everything on the big old corporate credit card. Look at the trade deficit with China, then think about how it is spiraling out of control because we have to keep borrowing from them to afford to buy things from them. Let's see...the state of the stock market? SNAFU. The housing market? NFG. The insurance industry: Don't get me started. My bank account: Oh, well, empty again. I am a small business, and if we have to suffer through another four years under these "good for business" people, I'll be OUT of business and on welfare. Oh, wait, the Republicans want to get rid of that...

pyewacket said...

I am so sick and tired of hearing about Sarah Palin...probably because it is the same few things I hear about her...over and over and over again.

And it is the media who needs to be schooled regarding this because it is their stupidity.

They did it with Barrack Obama and now with Sarah Palin. And their previous experience regarding the beating of a dead horse...well, what comes to mind is Paris going to jail and Anna Nicole's death.

Where have all the journalists gone? Because all I see now is tabloid news. On the 24 hour news well as the network evening news. Oh how I miss Walter Cronkite.

Okay, I am not being totally fair...the network news do still do a few investigative news stories...but those get buried after the fold while most of the coverage is of the flashy tabloid news variety.

Anyone else see the story about how there might be a record-breaking number of suicides among our military this year? The record was broken last year and now it might be broken again this year.

That and many other more worthy stories (like the fact that while McCain and Obama are publicly speaking out against lobbyists and earmarks, both of their parties were being wined and dined by lobbyists and special interests at the convention) are getting little attention while we read and hear who Sarah Palin looks like the most...Tina Fey, Megan Mullally, or Paula Abdul!

WTF, indeed. What I don't get is why the American public puts up with this shite. Or are we so beated down by having to juggle jobs and kids and paying the bills and mortgage and still having enough money to buy gas for the week...that we are too tired to speak up in some way...or that we want to escape all the stressful we turn our backs and try to ignore it?

I agree with Alisa (see above) in that there needs to be other choices between the two parties we have now. They have a strangle-hold on the US government and they are choking the life out of its citizens.

I see what is going on now and think that Obama is getting a little taste of what Hillary had to put up with during the primaries.

Hillary wanted to talk about the issues and yet had to many times stop to clarify and apologize for remarks taken and twisted to mean that she was somehow insulting Barrack.

And the Republicans were not the only ones guilty of sexism during the primaries. There was a lot of mud slung at Hillary from within her own party.

I am tired of voting for the lessor of two evils. SO tired. And unfortunately it does seem that voters are more likely to go with someone who is like them...someone they would have a beer with. Forget the issues that will make or break our country in the next 4 years...let's talk about Sarah Palin's pregnant daughter and her boyfriend's myspace page.

Barrack did side with his own ego instead of his party and their best chance for winning the election and so the Republicans saw a huge opening and they took it. Kind of what they said happened with Hillary and her campaign and the mistakes she made (she should have been the change candidate, it has been said because by simply being a woman that equals the biggest change) and that Obama took advantage of her mistakes.

Reading Alisa's post gives me the best hope for the US. I don't agree with everything she wrote...but at age 19 to care as much as she does and to be informed as much as she is...and to see that she has her own mind and doesn't just blindly follow along with any crowd...and that somehow she gets beyond the sound bites to see the importance of an issue and the depth and breath of possible resolutions...she and others like her are our country's biggest and brightest hope.

pyewacket said...

Oh...and Sarah Haskins rocks. :)

jessm said...

thank you. for being awesome. and saying everything i would want to say.

*cosmic freak* said...

Wow. Ironic to say the political climate in my own country is a bit haywire as well. For different reasons of course.

As much as we prefer simple life with snarks and chicks and yes, chicks, I guess those who are concern would always this inclination to give their 2cents worth of political opinion. Of course we care about the going-ons in our respective country.

However, what happens, or will happen in America would affect the entire world. A foreign perspective, we see America with such potential but lots of threat. I just hope for the best for your country as I am with mine. Take care guys. Have a good weekend!

Lopey said...

Ms. Snarker, you are wonderful. I don't know how you managed it, but it seems like you've been reading my diary again! Everything I wanted to say: better.

So glad you're back to bring some much needed sanity to this crazy affair!

Gretchen said...

I'm almost to the point of saying that if America is that gullible it deserves Palin as VP. But, no, I am going to Reno to help out in NV (I live in SF) and I am going to Missouri (where I grew up) and possibly Ohio.

If you don't want Palin as VP do more than talk about it; register voters, phonebank a few evenings, etc. That is how the Repubs have won before and how we can win now. And if that doesn't encourage you, there are often cute women at these events (for the libidinously inclined).

Anonymous said...

I'm with Sarah In Chicago pointing out the fear I have with Sarah Palin being a heartbeat away from the presidency. I've seen here in Kansas what's it's like to have people in positions of power trying to force the teaching of creationism into science classes, review women's private health records for the possibility of wrong doing, denying gays and lesbians the rights all other Americans share. That's what you're getting with Sarah Palin. A Fundamentalist Christian. A true believer. If you thought the last eight years were bad just imagine what the next four would be like with McCain and Palin .
No Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Well the problem here is Karl Rove's(Pigman as I call him, everytime I see his pig fave I think of the book Animal Farm) finger prints are all over this Palin thingy. He knows how to push buttons and spin even an illlegal war; to this day no one is held responsible.

Every second we spend talking about "her"; is a second we don't talk about the issues. They can't talk about the issues so we need to let go "her" and get back on track...

madmags said...

Oh Snarks,
I love it when you don your political cap and pull on your smarty pants. :)

Yes, you really are "the Bomb".

Lots of blog love going your way.

Linda said...

For all you American gals who may be considering voting for Palin just because she's a woman, I will say only one thing: Margaret Thatcher. Over here in the UK, she famously said "I'm not a woman, I'm a conservative", and proceeded to rule us for 12 years with the most draconian, anti-gay, xenophobic and protectionist government we've ever had.

Don't for a MINUTE think that Palin will be any different if she becomes VP, or that she would have stood a snowball's chance in hell in her own right as a candidate, had it not been for the Republican (male) hierarchy who thought they'd throw a curveball and confuse us poor stupid women who would vote for somebody just because she wears lipstick (pitbull, pig or otherwise).

Every single American woman I know is smart, funny, articulate - and outraged that Palin is even being considered as representing our gender. For the love of all that is good about American - your hope, your optimism, your sense that you can really do anything (personally or politically) - please don't let the rest of womankind down and vote for that toxic individual. A recent poll showed that outside the US four times more people would vote for Obama than McCain, so please bear in mind that it's not only your own dreams that matter; it's the rest of the world that is desperate for a change of philosophy, ideology and leadership.

Di Sorrono said...

It was and is the perfect marketing gimmick for the Republicans. I'm utterly stunned that Americans are buying it. Or more accurately, I'm not so stunned but sickened because on the whole, we are dumber than we've ever been as a nation. Palin embodies the notion that sex sells, especially subtle sexuality. Think about that and you know what I mean.

timibe said...


I can only hope people are not this dumb. Please, please, don't let people be this dumb!

IC said...

How can they cry sexism when the reason Palin is in the position she is in now is clearly related to a completely sexist choice. You can't comment on her children either but Obama's children were smeared all over the news after the interview at the birthday party and they're at an even younger and more vulnerable stage. I came across this through someone on wordpress and posted the link on my myspace, props! It aggravates me that women identify with her solely on the fact that she is a.... WOMAN. Where the hell is Wonder Woman already???

emma said...

you're a wonderful writer!

Site Admin said...

Face it, Obama will lose this election because he didn't have the smarts to pick Clinton as his running mate. Instead he chooses a plagerizing career politician who cannot upstage him. Dems voted in record numbers during the primaries and he could have locked in the votes of all of those who had voted for Hillary. What a foolish move, one that will cost him the White House.

In this day and age there is no way Palin could get Roe overturned, nor would she even try. She has her beliefs, but look at her record, she never tried to push that kind of thing in Alaska. She has been subjected to the same sexism that Hillary was and yet somehow it is ok because she is a Republican.

Everyone needs to research the issues and how each candidate stands on those issues in order to make an informed choice. We shouldn't be told how to vote on a blog. Or by Oprah.

Anonymous said...

Wow, how naive. Of course Palin will do everything in her possible vice presidential role to overturn Roe v. Wade. It's her evangelical christian duty to do so. The anti-abortion crowd helped get her elected to her position of mayor of Wasilla and they are peeing their collective panties at the thought of her in the white house.
Just something to keep in mind as everyone is researching the issues important to them as to who they will be voting for.
By the way, a blog is an expression of one person's personal opinion, not a dictate on how other people live their lives. I think most of the people here understand that and while you may disagree with Ms. Snarker's "opinion" I would think you wouldn't want her to censor herself just to satisfy you.

delurk said...

and I am glad you said it! I'm hoping you caught the SNL skit last night where someone you've probably never heard of - Tina Fey - nailed Palin :)

Frank said...

Awesome post...I have become a fan of your blog in the past couple of weeks.

Anonymous said...

What's the difference between Sarah Palin and a real soccer mom?

Real soccer moms know what their daughters are up to.

Anonymous said...

Sarah Palin reminds me of the Philippine president Arroyo-Macapagal. Be afraid everybody, because she's not good for democracy and so neither can Sarah Palin.


Anonymous said...

Reposting from my MySpace blog:

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

“One person can make a difference and every person should try.” (John F. Kennedy)
Current mood: optimistic
Category: spurred into action Blogging

Here we are, at the precipice of what will be a historical moment in our political history, no matter the outcome... but what will you do to put your mark on this history making moment? Each of us has an opinion and each of us has a voice... now is the time to exercise your right to both! I urge everyone to take a little time out and make sure to get familiar with the political nominees in the upcoming election... read up on their beliefs and educate yourself a bit on what each person involved stands for.

When the time to vote comes I hope that everyone will forget the rhetoric being fed to us via the media about each candidates level of celebrity, about the looks of the candidates, about the historical impact of the candidate (be it "he's the first African-American", "she's a woman", "he's a war hero", etc.) and that each and every one of us will instead choose to focus on the real issues at hand: If elected what will these candidates do with regards to the important things at hand, like the economy, health care, women's rights, GLBT rights, the war in Iraq and Afghanistan, foreign policy, the deficit, job security, immigration and so on?

I want everyone to vote your conscience (whether you are a Democrat, Republican or Independent, whether you are a man or a woman, heterosexual or homosexual, African American, Caucasian, Native American, Asian American, etc.)... remember you have a voice and a right to have it heard and if you don't speak up and make an informed decision for yourself, then who will you be allowing to make the decision for you?

Here then is a poem, attributed to Pastor Martin Niemöller (1892–1984) regarding inactivity (you may be familiar with it in one incarnation or another as it has had a variety of versions over the years, including one version by NOFX in their song "Regaining Unconsciousness")

"First they came..."

When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.
When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.
When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.
When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I wasn't a Jew.
When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.

Don't be left with no one to speak out... make your voice heard, make your vote count. "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." -Mahatma Gandhi

Currently listening :
Regaining Unconsciousness
Release date: 2003-03-25

Polly said...

Oh just thank you. That's all. Thank you.

Few can sling it like you can, sister.

I write this after Wall Street has slid decisively in the crapper, and the Palin-mania has begun to slide decisively in after it. So I'm glad to say, for the grimmest of reasons (oh, economic debacle of historic proportions), she may well become more widely legible as the cynical novelty she is.

Oh, and ditto all the raves above, minus the wacked anonymous commenter who thinks you should just dance dance dance. I like whatever you write, period. The wider the ambit, the better, I sez.