Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Breaking news

So, yesterday, while scanning the “Top News” from the Associated Press on my cellphone, I came across something that simply did not belong. See if you can spot it for yourself:

[Click to embiggen]

Let's see: Interest rate cuts reassessed, Asian market commits suicide thanks to Lehman Brothers, Health plans suck and even economists know it, cellphones and train conductors don't mix and – wait, hello, hello, what's this? – Megan Fox had a femme Nikita?

Yes, Megan Fox, America's hottie du jour, once dated a Russian stripped named Nikita. Why? Because she “smelled like angels.” Paging, Cinemax After Dark, Cinemax After Dark, your plotline is waiting.

But what I found less astonishing than the fact that Megan had a brief foray into the love that dare not speak it's name (except maybe in Russian), was the fact that the AP would package the story along with the rest of its important “Top News.” While I love celebrity gossip as much if not considerably more than the next gal, um...priorities? It's not like yesterday was a slow news day or something, what with the U.S. economy collapsing and all.

Still, I have to give the AP a little credit for not running with the headline from the original GQ cover story where Megan talked about her Sapphic strip teaser. It demurely reads: “MEGAN FOX WAS A TEENAGE LESBIAN!” Yes, all caps. Yes, an exclamation point. Though, I guess I shouldn't expect subtlety from a magazine that runs these sorts of shots.

Still, don't let the headline fool you. Megan makes sure to clear one thing up for all the fellas reading at home:

“Look, I'm not a lesbian. I just think that all humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes. I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl — Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands.”
Pssst, Megan, there's a name for that – it's bisexual. Hey, I'm just trying to make sure she gets her story straight, so to speak.


The Gentleman said...

I like how those news and tidbits of information always seems to magically "appear" on interviews for male magazines...
And I also like all those starlets who wants the fun but not the labels... it's like have your Russian pie and eat it too.. oops that sounded less dirty in my mind actually... :P

On the other hand... I totally agree with Megan about Olivia Wilde!

Anonymous said...

It is amusing and a bit disturbing that with everything going on in the world these days that any headlines in the news should have to do with celebrities at all... the line between "real" news and entertainment stories seems to blur more and more everyday. Just yesterday I happened upon "The Insider" (an entertainment news show, like Entertainment Tonight and Extra) who had more stories related to Sarah Palin than any Hollywood celebrities, which simply provided more evidence of the aforementioned blurring of lines!

As for Megan Fox, I guess she really is doing her best to live up to the comparisons to Angelina Jolie... now she's even trotting out a story about being in love with a girl at one point in her life. Is there any starlet these days who doesn't have a bisexual/lesbian story that they can pull out of their past?

With regards to Olivia Wilde, you'll get no arguments from me. I'm hoping that TPTB will continue her bisexual storyline on "House" this season!

Anonymous said...

my first thought when i saw the headline: who's megan fox?

second though: who cares?

guess i "screen" my news already to avoid this stuff, as evidenced by my cluelessness of mf.

Nelfy said...

honestly, I have trouble really believing these starlets when they say stuff like that in interviews - I feel like they just try to get attention with that. and the pictures?? ugh, so not hot! the men magazines just try way too hard!!

Anonymous said...

Actually Ms. Snarker, there's a new term going around. It's pretty freaking freshly coined and I'm not sure how I feel about it but when someone doesn't see it as being open to both genders but rather, identifies as being open to all PEOPLE it's now being called 'Pansexual' rather than bisexual. Just... a thought.

Tina-cious.com said...


Sarah in Chicago said...

Well, she's gotta play to her major demographic, after all ... 13-39 straight men.

It's a performance of 'lesbian' sexuality that still announces male sexual accessibility. Honestly, I kinda doubt this was a big a thing for her as the articles are making out. Just it works well for marketing, so it is out there.

ACTUAL sexual identities have nothing to do with this, of course.

pyewacket said...

Yeah, I had no clue about Megan Fox until I was watching Ellen yesterday and she and Brian Austin Green were discussing how Megan was voted hottest on the planet by someone and that she and Brian have been engaged for two years. Oh and each have tats of the other's name somewhere on their bodies.

But I still was really without a clue as to who she is or what she ever did.

And here she is again.

I guess her agents or reps realized that there are many other people...like me...clueless about her...so this is a great way to get her a bit more notice...without her having to do any of those stunt roles on tv shows during sweeps where she has to kiss another woman.

But I must say, she has taste to mention Olivia Wilde. I wonder if they are represented by the same agents or publicists or whatever.

ng2000 said...

Valuable resource of olivia wilde news summaries: http://www.ng2000.com/fw.php?tp=olivia-wilde

jennifer from pittsburgh said...

Strangle a mountain ox? Isn't that a yak? Plus, yak's don't fight back, so that's not much of a challenge. She should strangle a mountain lion. NOW that's really proving your butch love mettle. I myself have never gone that far to prove my worthiness. I did offer to crawl across a floor strewn with broken glass for a chance to look up Caty's skirt. Although flattered, she saved me from myself by lifting her skirt.

Anonymous said...

I must say, I have the hots for Olivia Wilde too -- 13! I'll be 6, you be 9 -- I know it doesn't add up to 13, but... I'm sure we can make the # work -- As for Miss Fox, you go girl, and fyi, a lotta women smell like angels.... Dump the 90210 Alum...

Anne said...

Is it me, or does Fox look like she's in white-face for this photo shoot?

Pansexual, Bisexual, etc etc. Why have we not come up for a term to really pin-point her condition? Oh wait, we have: MediaWhore.

Come on GQ, hit me with some real lesbian action.

Anonymous said...

Nothing "fresh" about the word "Pansexual". It's been in use for more years than you, rukihime!

j@j said...

is it bad that i don't belive when starlets talk about THE_ONE girl (or few girls) they loved? it seems to staged.
and: «The terms "pansexual" and "bisexual" are not mutually exclusive. Pansexuality is inclusive of bisexuality (attraction to both males and females) but additionally includes attraction to other genders and sexes such as those identifying as transgender, genderqueer, bigender, intersex, or genderfuck. In this sense, it necessarily rejects the concept of a gender binary, which some bisexuals may not reject. To this end, pansexuality as a concept has been criticized as a "means to skip the binaries and essentialism of 'bi'."»

L said...

I saw this on CNN's front page yesterday and had a 'WTF?' moment followed by a moment of silence to mourn the total loss of intelligent news coverage in America.

... I will say I'm glad she tagged Olivia Wilde as her celesbian crush; I am so sick of every straight female celebrity having a "crush" on Angelina Jolie.